Hemos Gets Hitched

Today Jeffrey "Hemos" Bates got married to Adrienne Lane. We've posted several pictures for those of you who are visually inclined. I'd also recommend everyone send [e-mail] a congratulatory email to help celebrate this great occasion (and mainly because we wanna see how much mail we can get into his box). Now we're off to the reception ;) (BTW, thanks to CowboyNeal for getting these up asap. The photographers were me, Mandrake and Chris DiBona). Update: 06/25 03:01 by CT : The reception was nice. Keep those email to hemos coming.

Does she like *nix?

[[hk]doogie (101051)]

Did you marry a geek chick??? =)

hmm..

[pirodude (54707)]

she obviously married him for his *great* looks and *extreme* popularity on slashdot

ehehe..anyways..good luck!

Talk about geek

[SMN (33356)]

I'm wondering how Taco managed to attend the affair this afternoon AND post the OpenGL article at noon today.

Taco: "Excuse me, I have to, uh, go to the bathroom. . ."

Hemos: "But it's almost time for the ceremony! And why do you need your laptop? Rob? Rob! Get back here!"

Oh lord...

[Randy Rathbun (18851)]

Now /. is going to be clobbered with "ADRIENNE BATES NAKED AND PETRIFIED!" posts for the next week....

But seriously though, congrats!

I wonder...

[T.Hobbes (101603)]

did Hemos' wife-to-be refer to him as "Jeff 'Hemos' Bates" during the ceremony?

geek compound

[SMN (33356)]

So when does Hemos' old Geek Compound room go up on eBay?

And I'm only half joking =)

Congrats! Wow!

[Pike (52876)]

...

Despite what others say
You'll always have one who knows
Hemos doesn't 'sux' :-)

-JD

Congrats Hemos! Now, names for SlashBaby v1.0? =)

[citizenc (60589)]

First, I'd like to express my congraduations! I'm sure you and Adrienne will be very happy together! (Especially her.. you know what they say about guys with big webserver .. 'pipes' ;)

However, it is important to put some effort into the most important thing yet: baby names! Here are some suggestions:

• SlashKid
• 'dot'
• Linus (Yeah, I know)
• 'JP'

How about you other slashdotters.. any ideas for baby names for the happy couple?

Hurry up though.. I'm eagerally awaiting SlashBaby v1.0.. but will it be open sourced?

Actually, don't open source your kid. That's just icky. EWWW! =)

the $64,000 question is. . .

[SMN (33356)]

. . . does she have a sister? Please?

a fitting poem for Hemos

[tomax (1841)]

This one seems to fit the situation:

"When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane,
most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear
that they will remain in that exalted, abnormal, and exhausting condition
continuously until death do them part."

- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) "Getting Married" (1908)

I couldn't afford a wedding present....

[Rude Turnip (49495)]

So I wrote you a haiku instead!!!

Hemos is married
Maybe his wife will henpeck
About his spelling

Re:Slashdot slashdots one of their own....

[Accipiter (8228)]

I would suggest that you ignore the first image.

Are you kidding? The First Image [hemos.net] displays someones excellent fashion sense! (I honestly thought Marc Summers and I were the only two humans who LOVED the look of Sneakers with a Suit. No, really. I'm serious. REALLY!)

-- Give him Head? Be a Beacon?

Re:don't bother

[Accipiter (8228)]

The Wife isn't even identified.

Hmmmm, it's just a shot in the dark, but I'm guessing Hemos' wife is PROBABLY the one in the wedding dress [hemos.net].

-- Give him Head? Be a Beacon?

Picture of the happy couple

[tbo (35008)]

Here's a picture [hemos.net] of the happy couple (it's not exactly the best shot, but at least you can see both of them).

At the altar...

[griffjon (14945)]

Were you petrified? What about your wife?

Did you serve grits at the reception?

Sorry. Couldn't resist. But congrats, both.

Mirror of site

[nikhil (67)]

There is a mirror of the site being setup since it is currently slashdotted.


Please surf on over to http://www.nols.com/hemos [nols.com]

horribly taken pictures

[gargle (97883)]

Why are the pictures so badly taken? It seems that every shot has someone's face pressed up right against the camera.

What kind of camera?

[drix (4602)]

The exposure is a little off, but I like the quality of the pictures in general. Anyone know what kind of (digital, I'm assuming) camera they used?

--

Re:hmm..

[DgtlGhost (155814)]

Nope, picked him for his Karma...

Re:Adrienne Didn't Do it for the Nookie

[by Anonymous Coward]

I did it all for the wookiee
MRAHHHHHHH
the wookiee
MRUHHHHHHH

So you can take that jawa and stick it up your
OOOH-TEEDEE
Stick it up your
OOOH-TEEDEE

Thank You.

Wedding haiku

[imac.usr (58845)]

Hemos gets married
Slashdotters offer congrats;
Then, take out his site.


Congratulations!

Congrats Hemos! She's a keeper ...

[IntelliTubbie (29947)]

... a little blurry, but pretty nonetheless.

Speaking of which, did this guy [hemos.net] get any decent photos? Could you post those?

Mazel Tov! Wish I could be there to dance the hora with you.

Shalom,
IT

Top 10 Ways To Say Congrats...To Hemos

[FascDot Killed My Pr (24021)]

10) "All I wan too sey is, 'god joob!'"
9) perl -e "print 'Congratulations To The Bates\''"
8) Why do all your wedding invitations say "Copyright Andover.net"?
7) We all know how these Internet mergers go--right now they are Bates-Lane, but in 9 months I'm sure they'll spin off a "joint venture".
6) This just in from ESR: Hemos "gets it".
5) Your wedding night is no time to find out why Hemos is so interested in nano-everything.
4) On the other hand, it's better than Rob's obsession with "quickies".
3) So this is gonna be an Open Source marriage, right? Which one is the "benevolent dictator"?
2) Katz gave a beautiful toast: We geeks gather here today, among geeks, to celebrate the union of two structs, I mean geeks, in holy matrimony.
1) Hemos sux!

--

HEMOS WEDDING IMAGE ARCHIVE - HEMOS.SLASHDOT.ORG

[An0nym0us C0w@rd (128409)]

I have mirrored the directory of wedding pictures at :

http://hemos.slashdot.org [slashdot.org]

Reach out, extend to, and embrace the universe.
-Einstien
-----
Embrace, extend, and engulf the universe.

I Didn't Know Real Geeks Got Married . . .

[Seumas (6865)]

But apparently, some do. I usually feel a little bit uncomfortable when friends of mine get married. It's like you're losing them to the other side. And, dumb as it may sound, I consider the guys of Slashdot 'friends'.

Nevertheless, congratulations, you bastard. I hope this girl knows what she's getting into. Maybe she'll make a new man out of you... and correct/verify the articles you post to Slashdot (grin).

Have fun, and don't have any little Hemos' yet... I don't think the world could quite bare it! Hope you enjoy one helluva wedding night, if you catch my drift. Keep that bag of viagra handy.
---
seumas.com

Clark Kent

[Seumas (6865)]

You know, in this picture [hemos.net] Hemos looks a lot like Clark Kent. Come to think of it, his girl doesn't look too unlike Lois Lane (and certainly better than that crazy chick who went nuts a few years back, who played Christopher Reeves' Lois).

Mrs. Hemos -- a word of advice -- when your new husband starts to step into phone booths every time there is an emergency, start following him.
---
seumas.com

Was the reception held

[Tei'ehm Teuw (191740)]

Prior to the ceremony? Must have been, how else could you explain such horrible photography. Guys, come on, you're rich, hire someone other than "drunk uncle elmer" to take the pictures next time.

Seriously, congrats Jeff.

-ttm

Re:I Didn't Know Real Geeks Got Married . . .

[Seumas (6865)]

Well, I'd say 'attractive' as opposed to 'hot'. I've dated both and there is a big difference (not that either is really preferable over the other).

However, in reply to your question, it is my understanding that they came from Andover during the acquisition of Slashdot.
---
seumas.com

"Do you, Adrienne, take..."

[jht (5006)]

"...this man, Jeff, 'Hemos' Bates, to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

Adrienne: "Bates? I thought you said your name was 'Jeff Gates'?!!

Hemos (wipes brow nervously): "No, sweetie, you must have mis-heard me that night..."

Adrienne: "You mean, you're not related to the Microsoft guy?"

Hemos: "No."

Adrienne: "You mean you're not worth billions?"

Hemos: "Well, no - but I help run Slashdot.org (Rob & company smile and wave), and I've got a bunch of VA Linux stock!"

Adrienne: "How much is 'a bunch', and what's the closing price as of yesterday?"

(somebody runs off to find a paper for the quote while Jeff tells her how many shares he has)

Adrienne (after checking the number and calling her financial planner): "Oh, okay... I guess we'll keep going. But I want a house on a lake, too!"

Congrats, Hemos. Welcome to the marriage club. Just remember the words, "Yes dear", and it'll be a terrific life for both of you!

- -Josh Turiel

Is It True About Hemos and Douglas Adams?

[Seumas (6865)]

I've heard rumors (okay, I've been the one spreading them to start with, but that's beside the point here) that Douglas Adams and Hemos are planning to collaborate on a project to publish a Geek's Marriage Manual?

What was the title?..... Oh yeah!:

The Hitched Hikers Guide To The Universe!
---
seumas.com

Re:I Didn't Know Real Geeks Got Married . . .

[grammar nazi (197303)]

I hope that she corrects his grammar, too!

The new bride

[Money__ (87045)]

The new bride [slashdot.org]
___

Re:don't bother

[Accipiter (8228)]

wow. hemos sure is old. heh.

Doesn't ANYONE know how weddings work? That's her father. He's giving away the bride.

-- Give him Head? Be a Beacon?

After The Vows...

[quonsar (61695)]

Check out the hot and heavy action, recorded in graphic detail, as MeepZorp.Com gives you an exclusive inside look at...

HEMOS POST-NUPTUAL BLISS! [meepzorp.com]

======
"Rex unto my cleeb, and thou shalt have everlasting blort." - Zorp 3:16

Re:Mirror of site

[rc-flyer (20492)]

I wonder if I'm the only other person here who either knows what NOLS is or has been on a NOLS course.

NOLS is the National Outdoor Leadership School, and teaches leadership skills in the outdoors. Take a look at their main page for more info.
I took one of their courses back in 1973, and it changed my life.

Re:Is It True About Hemos and Douglas Adams?

[Sir Logic (119380)]

No No, you got it wrong :-)

The correct title is:

The Hitched Hackers Guide To The Universe!

Who is that in DSCN0542.JPG???

[brianvan (42539)]

Mirrored copy: http://www.nols.com/hemos/DSCN0542.JPG [nols.com]

Who is that girl? How old is she? And is she spoken for?

I don't have any stock options but I can cook and do laundry. Plus, I have a tongue piercing. And I have a Ultra Wide SCSI hard drive to compensate for the tinyness of my bandwidth (56K).

Oh, and I like to cuddle.

Re:Who is that in DSCN0542.JPG???

[bingeldac (116158)]

It is Mandrake so that makes her Tammy. Check out tammy.org [slashdot.org] So I guess that means she is spoken for.

Slashdot my ISP Re:Umm.. a mirror please

[Stephen Samuel (106962)]

I've mogrified the images down to a somewhat weildly {583,666}x437 and created a simple thumbnails page. [sympatico.ca]

If you're wondering about the size, it is 1/3 size for the larger images. It's also small enough to fit in my web allocation (on two differnt accounts).

If you're wondering about the two different sizes, it looks like they were using two different cameras with two different resolutions.
--

Re:Mirror of site

[wowbagger (69688)]

You know, it's pretty bad when one of the /. crew's OWN SITE gets /.'d.

Also, it will be interesting to see if Hemo's wife has the same reaction to the inevitable "naked and petrified" posts as Emmet claimed his wife had: "All RIGHT! I'm going to be the next Natilie Portman!" (Source: Emmet's keynote speech at the Kansas City Linuxfest this afternoon.)

They say...

[DragonHawk (21256)]

They say a man doesn't know true happiness until he is married...

... and then it's too late!

;-)

Congrats to the happy couple!

Typical Slashdot

[cje (33931)]

Come on, guys .. I read this last week on ZDNet.

The least you fellas could do is show a little bit of journalistic initiative.

All kidding aside .. congratulations, dude. :-)

Re:hmm..

[TrentC (11023)]

How do you know he doesn't?

Jay (=

Sneaks with Suits... or Another use for SAMBA

[GW Hayduke (19878)]

I loved the pics with the sneakers...
It reminded me of High School Days (Mid 80's) when all we... (geek/nerd/semi-jocks who played soccer/ski-racers/tennis....) wore were Adidas Sambas... The reason They Lasted for at least 3 years, (well before they moved the factory from France to Taiwan) and you could always remove the 3 white stripes and heel print with some black shoe polish and voila.... Dress shoes that you could scrimmage with less than 2 minutes after whatever dress-up function you had to go to...
I found them handy for running block-tackle as I dragged my best friend from his *first* wedding

Words of Wisdom

[Remus Shepherd (32833)]

I will share with you some words of wisdom that I received when I got married.

When I announced my marriage to my family, my uncle Bob looked me straight in the eye and said in a quiet voice: "Just remember -- you can always blow your own brains out."

These words have carried me through many years and the subsequent messy divorce. I hope they are equally as inspiring to you. :)

A little nitpicking

[Remote (140616)]

And who would these grammar usage people be?

Or maybe you meant "We have to think about GRAMMAR usage, people!" :)

-------------------------------

Congratulations, Hemos! I wish you both my best.

Re:What kind of camera?

[sweetooth (21075)]

I think Mandrake [mandrake.net] would be the lucky sob with the nikon d1 as you can see in this picture. [nols.com]

Re:Who is that in DSCN0542.JPG???

[brianvan (42539)]

Dude, I'm like 20 years old myself, so I AM counterculture... actually, I'm part of mainstream culture with the tongue piercing since that's actually the big thing right now...

The whole computer thing is facetious. Frankly, a girl doesn't have to know about me and computers because I don't spend that much time on them anyway. (And I'm a Slashdot reader on a modem, and I don't spend much time on computers at all, which gives you an indication that I'm not the typical geek...)

Oh, and I've never been to a wedding... but I'm trying to get to one somehow someday :)

forget about the reception...

[banky (9941)]

What about the bachelor party? Why wasn't this discussed?

Talk about getting slashdotted....

Congrats, I hope to be entering the ranks of the institutionalized (marriage is, they say, an institution) before long...

Re:Congrats Hemos! Now, names for SlashBaby v1.0?

[dumdeedum (150099)]

I suggest naming any sprogs that may happen "Custard" so when fighting over the kid after the divorce you can say you're fighting for "custody of custard"
---