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Pop-up Ads Coming to A TV Near You
Posted by
Hemos
on Mon Jul 15, 2002 06:45 PM
from the what-a-terrible-idea dept.
from the what-a-terrible-idea dept.
Muddie writes "The Atlanta Journal-Constitution is reporting that television execs and advertising agencies think product placement and the 30 second commercial spot are not getting the respect they deserves from us consumers, so in order to combat us ignoring them, there will be pop-up ads taking up the lower quarter of your screen during normal programming. Not only that, but the ads will run during relevant portions of the programming (see a guy shaving in the mirror, get a pop-up ad from a razor company). Do "They" think we just don't see enough advertising in a day? If you aren't busy throwing things through your television yet, you can read the article over here (with no pop-up ads)."
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Done... (Score:3, Informative)
marketed out of existence (Score:4, Insightful)
I've been targeted right out of the market.
I've had it. I can't take any more advertising. Television, radio, magazines, billboards, even the Internet for Christ's sake. Everywhere. Why do they keep targeting me? I never did anything to them. I don't even buy anything! They're wasting their time! Fast food makes me feel like shit, soft drinks make me dizzy, candy is disgusting, chips make my stomach hurt, I don't smoke, and any band that has ever been advertised anywhere sucks unequivocally. I eat tortillas and vegetables, I drink tap water. I ride my $40 bike for entertainment. I buy a new pair of Dickies at the army navy store every year and I get all my other clothes at Costco in 3-packs. My car works fine, I use my Internet connection for long distance, I've had the same boots for three years and re-sole them when they wear out. As far as booze goes, well, as long as it's wet...
So why do they keep attacking me? Why are they filling every square inch of every available space in my life? Above urinals, on concert tickets, underneath the ice at hockey games, on blimps, in video games, as props in movies, plugs in rap songs, on shitty Web Sites (No, I will not visit your motherfucking sponsor. If you're not in it for the love, and you can't figure out any better way to pay for your site than by slapping some ugly, corrupted banner across the top of your pathetic work, then fucking close up shop, kill yourself, and leave the Web to non-polluters). They'd advertise on the backs of my eyelids if they could get away with it, and I can't hack it anymore. They win. I lose. They succeeded. I failed. Like Brian Wilson, I just wasn't built for these times. I fold. Here are all my cards. Keep the pot, keep my ante, keep the goddamn jacket on the back of my chair for all I care, I can get another at Costco. I'll be out in the parking lot getting drunk and yelling at cute girls because I can no longer stand the taste of tentacles. Marketing has poisoned everything worthwhile under the sun, so I'm giving it all up. Everything.
But the way I figure it, there's no real loss. I've seen all of the episodes of the Simpsons 200 times each. Most of the good writing was done 100 years ago. I haven't listened to FM radio in years. I could play all my records beginning to end alphabetically and I'd be 76 years old when I got to the Zeni Geva. Online culture is a fucking yawn, only good for buying stuffed goats on Ebay and getting cracked copies of $1000 software. Movies always end up at the 99 cent video store across the street eventually, and you can fast forward through those commercials. My girlie's cute and the corner bar has Pabst on tap. What else matters?
True, by shutting myself off to everything, I'm probably limiting my future potential as a 'community building' or 'bleeding edge' cog in someone's nightmarish vision of Internet profitability, but fuck, a simple read through my writing should've cured that anyway (Note to potential employers: The bidding starts at $120,000 a year with full dental).
So I'm out. No more.
I just feel bad for those of you I'm leaving behind. You'll be wearing your Slave Labor Nikes, sweating under a Third World Vest, listening to Everqueer or Fratboy Slim, your hair styled stupidly with gasoline and aborted pig placentas, trying to choke down a Double Meat Fuck Splattered Cow Testicles On The Slaughterhouse Floor Pus Coagulated Lactacious Secretion Yellow Dye #2 Deluxe. Man, will you be looking dumb. It makes me want to cry. You poor, oversugared demographic you. You're filling your apartments, your bodies, and your minds with useless junk. You stagger under your own weight, throwing money in random directions until you collapse and die, buried by a bunch of people who you failed to create meaningful human bonds with, who forget about you on the way home from the funeral.
Maybe I'm just oversensitive, but I actually feel those fingers reaching out at me - cute little girl fingers, feeling at my face like a bind man, pulling at the loose threads all over my brain, trying to find a sensitive one, one that tweaks me. Desires to be successful, attractive to the opposite sex, spiritually satiated, or conversely, the fears of disease, dismemberment, of being outcast, of repressed homosexual desires. Herd mentality as dictated by herd mentality. A gas mask of soiled wool, worn in a steaming shower of chlorinated pond water. A lumbering culture created by profit motive, existing as window dressing to disguise the brutal cynicism of the architects, the brassy checks and balances of accountants bleating commands to the flunky tastemakers on the production line. The subversion of anything subverting. The conversion of something dangerous into something profitable. The gutting of the lion and the championing of the taxidermist. And the puffy vests, my god, the puffy vests....
I give it one more shot.
I hit that little "on" button, and immediately this little red dot appears on my forehead. I feel the barrel rising on the other side of the glass as some powersuited executive attempts to get me in his sights. His scope is the best money can buy, but my nausea and skittishness mark me as difficult prey. I make a sprawling leap over a pile of books, spilling a glass of wine and sending my cats scattering. The TV takes a shot at me. It misses, but after the smoke clears, there's a shimmering can of Pepsi on the coffee table, seductively held by a well manicured (but severed) hand. Then the Taco Bell dog is outside, scratching at my window, singing "That's Amore", the secret code that alerts Col. Sanders and Ronald McDonald to get their tumor inducing grease guns at the ready. "We have a resistor! Alert Cap'n Crunch and Mrs. Butterworth. Tell Hogan to pull that Subaru around!" And then, as the entire posse of 1-800-COLLECT goons attempt to joke their way through the front door, a helmeted uberyouth does a backflip on rollerblades against the window, almost crushing the Taco dog, thankfully getting tangled in the iron jungle of security bars designed for such a moment. The severed Pepsi hand launches itself across the room onto the stereo, turns it to HOTROCK 99.5 FM and starts dancing suggestively on the turntable. Warm, gooey songs ooze from the speakers, blurring the lines between commercial and product, product and art. The walls are running with honey, blood, and Gatorade. Limp Bizkit tries to sign me up for the Rap Metal MasterCard, but is outvolumed by a chorus of creepy NY Gap models, dead eyed and Children of the Damned style, singing nostalgic 80s songs with cool detachment, trying to sell me vests. Close inspection reveals UPC codes on the backs of their beautiful necks and a legion of bulimic girls behind them, mascara mixing with puke on ten thousand toilet bowls. Budweiser frogs are crawling out of the toilet bowls. A one-eyed, mutilated Asian girl holds a pair of new Levi's against the window with a thin, purple arm and starts screeching "It's a Small World After All" at the top of her lungs. Magic, The Old Navy dog, is sniffing butts with the Taco Bell dog, who had since bit the Asian girl on the leg and now yelling something about Gordidas. A waifish beauty suddenly appears on my bed, vying for my attention, trying to talk me into a new car, her hand slowly unbuttoning her blouse, batting her doe-ishly brown eyes, "C'mon Mark. It's only a test drive. No one ever has to know."
Realizing my one escape, I yank my battered wallet out of my back pocket and pull out a twenty dollar bill. The entire scene freezes. All eyes are transfixed to the damp, smelly piece of paper. Andrew Jackson snickers and you can almost smell the cannibalized Indian on his breath. A miraculous cross breeze flows through my apartment, and I let the money go. It catches an upward draft, a hot air thermal, and is gone out the window.
And then, something even stranger happens. The spokespeople, animals, models, body parts, and corporate whores all disappear in a anti-climactic 'puff' of yellow smoke, leaving a slight smell of perfumed intestine twisting through the air. My twenty freezes in mid flight about thirty feet above the ground. A helicopter drops out of the sky, and lowers a rope down to the cash. A man in a business suit slides down the rope, commando style, and captures the money in his mouth, gives a contemptuous snort, mumbling something like "sucker" under his breath. And then the helicopter is gone, vanishing somewhere behind the radio towers spiking the top of Queen Anne Hill. Everything is quiet again.
I didn't just turn that TV off. I unplugged the motherfucker.
Parent
Re:marketed out of existence (Score:5, Informative)
Parent
Re:marketed out of existence (Score:5, Funny)
Parent
Hmm.... well written, but I'll bite anyway..... (Score:3, Insightful)
"Pop culture" is a sort of glue that holds us together and helps us make bonds/relationships with others. When you want to strike up a conversation with someone new, you start looking for "common ground". It really does you no good to break into a big discussion on an obscure topic the other party has no previous knowledge of. They'll get bored and walk away. Communications is a 2-way street. You listen and respond, listen and respond.
You can go on attacking popular music ("Fratboy Slim" as you prefer calling him, or "Everqueer"), or lambast the latest Hollywood movie productions and TV series. Whatever floats your boat. Still, it doesn't change the fact that all of these little blips on life's "radar" provide common experiences that people can relate to and talk about in daily life.
Useless junk? Well, sure it is. All entertainment could be classified that way. Sports too, and drinking for pleasure. Humans need breaks. We can't *always* be doing "productive" things. We need some down-time, and some plain old "fun time" to recharge our bodies and minds.
Fast food exists primarily because it's inexpensive + convenient. If McDonalds never ran a television ad again - do you think they'd go away? Doubtful - although they might not like having less opportunity to remind you that they're a breakfast/lunch/dinner option. People would still go there and eat their processed foods. People's tendencies to eat this sort of unhealthy fare are much more complex than mindless brainwashing by commercials. If you think otherwise, I'm afraid you sell all of us short.
hmm... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:hmm... (Score:3, Funny)
oil during Bush speeches
plastic surgery during Cher videos
flying lessons during reruns of 9-11 shots
See it from the bright side. This could make way for some excellent political and satirical commentary.
Oh, in case you're wondering: I'm not being serious.
Yeah and... (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:Yeah and... (Score:3, Insightful)
The postman does not force me to read the junk mail as a condition to read my other, important mail.
Most mail rooms have large recycling containers for junk mail. From my point of view, I don't even receive the junk mail - it goes directly into recycling. On the other hand, if the postman starts inserting junk mail inside of other envelopes, then I may be upset about that...
Guh (Score:5, Insightful)
I'm glad I live in a country with advert-free TV [bbc.co.uk].
Re:Guh (Score:4, Interesting)
Yeah - unfortunately TV is not FREE in the UK adverts or no adverts - can you believe we are expected to pay £107 a year for a TV license? I dont watch TV and so I dont have a license. This tiny detail doesnt stop them HOUNDING me - they just assume that I do watch it without a license (which I dont, I SOOO dont) and they automatically get granted search warrants to break into and search your property, however it is not illegal to merely OWN a TV set, just to "use TV receiving equipment to receive or record television broadcast services". Yes, this includes TV cards in computers.
Parent
Re:Guh (Score:5, Funny)
No way. I'll just tape a piece of cardboard over the lower part of the screen. I also have a 12-gauge "remote control," if the need arises.
Parent
Re:Guh (Score:3, Funny)
I'll just turn on my picture-in-picture and tune ir in to a competing network. I knew I got that feature for a reason.
Re:Guh (Score:3, Informative)
I've more or less done that. The problem is that the Internet has taken on the same role for me that TV used to have. Damn thee Slashdot!
Re:Guh-Faw! (Score:3, Informative)
Citizens of the "United States of Mexico" are commonly called "Mexicans" just as citizens of the United States of America are commonly called Americans.
Someone who lives in North America may be called "North American" and someone who lives in South America may be called "South American."
There is no continent called "America", although North and South America are often referred to collectively as "The Americas."
References:
- World Atlas [worldatlas.com]
- World Atlas 2000 [worldatlas2000.com]
- The Continents [infoplease.com]
- Continents of the World [aneducatio...orium.info]
- World Facts and Figures [worldfactsandfigures.com]
Now can we please just accept that Americans are Americans? Those that persist with this "Americans is everyone in the western hemisphere" line are just people with an axe to grind and are trying to take away part of Americans' identity by making it politically incorrect to call yourself American.Get over it.
Insightful? (Score:3, Insightful)
Who needs high def? (Score:2, Interesting)
Why not in lieu of 30s programming? (Score:2, Insightful)
Hell most sports and stations already have things in the corner that move around and my mind's already learned to ignore them.
Re:Why not in lieu of 30s programming? (Score:2, Funny)
Twice the adage? (Score:2)
Target marketing is probably the best way to "trick" viewers to buy stuff, I mean, it's probably far more effective and more likely for you to buy a product that way than just normal adage (does anyone actually pay attention to ads anymore?)
Futurama said it best... (Score:5, Funny)
Ads (Score:2)
Re:Ads (Score:4, Interesting)
Ok, how about Netflix [netflix.com]. Subscription TV starting at $20/mo; no ads, and a great movie selection. Plus, you only have to watch what you want to. ;)
I know it isn't exactly what you were asking for, but for the last few months my wife and I have been using Netflix almost as a replacement for broadcast TV. With the exception that it can be kind of difficult to get shows that are in heavy demand (the PBS Poirot mysteries for example), it works quite well that way. At least for our viewing habits .
Parent
What about the pr0n channels?! (Score:3, Funny)
Re: What about the pr0n channels?! (Score:4, Funny)
Parent
another reason (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:another reason (Score:5, Insightful)
I bet I can think of a way around it.
*click*
Look! No ads!
Parent
This will cross the line me thinks (Score:3, Insightful)
Granted - nothing will keep me from watching West Wing and Law & Order - but beyond that when I just want to veg and watch TV - having popups in teh corner would be over the line for me - I'd do something else or watch a cable station.
I'd take brief ads screens during the pause in sat channel changes before I'd accept this type of advertising. Its too intrusive. I know the TV stations need to make money - but at some point ads will take over the show and I'll stop watching.
At some point overbearing ads will drive people away - I'm already ready to stop readnig NY Times because their ads pop up constantly, even using the Lizard.
Living without a TV is pretty nice (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Living without a TV is pretty nice (Score:5, Funny)
I actually have to find something constructive to do with my time instead of wasting the next 5 hours watching sitcoms
What, like posting on Slashdot?
Parent
Re:Living without a TV is pretty nice (Score:3, Insightful)
The difference between TV and books is that you can buy a single book on what you're interested in. With broadcast/cable TV you get 5 pounds of honey and 600 pounds of raw sewage delivered to your house every day, no matter what. It's not worth the cost of cable.
There needs to be more "on-demand" TV with a menu of choices. Of course this would imply that TV watchers can think and choose for themselves and the media companies would rather just not address that tricky issue. And of course there's this whole "internet" thing that could be used somehow, but again, that's outside their scope.
Yes you can live without TV (Score:4, Insightful)
My wife made a good point about this a while back. If I spend an hour or an evening watching TV, I can almost never remember what I did with that day. However if I work on the house, read something (even slashdot), workout, or go to a nice resturant, I remember it much more vividly. I'm not wonderful for watching very little TV, but I do get a heck of a lot more done. I think my life is more full when TV is an activity I choose rather than the default. YMMV.
Besides, when I watch I have a hard time turning it off, even if there is nothing on. Channel surfing is addictive.
Parent
Re:Living without a TV is pretty nice (Score:3, Insightful)
Time for the next TV crackdown, no Ed, no Smallville.
Too bad for you (Score:3, Funny)
Now, if they start inserting pop-up ads in video games, I'm screwed.
(Product placement in video games is bad, but I can tolerate it. Actual ads are a different story ENTIRELY).
Re:Too bad for you (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:Too bad for you (Score:3, Interesting)
Wow. A whole new exuse for noobs. *chuckle*
Blame TiVo? (Score:5, Insightful)
Zoom function (Score:3, Interesting)
It's also fairly common on regualr TVs, VCRs and DVD players, for people who are watching a widescreen-format movie and would rather crop some bits off at the sides than see the bars along the top and bottom. Sure, zooming loses a bit of resolution, but that's preferable to seeing continuous banners.
EdTV, anyone? (Score:3, Informative)
If the Internet has taught us anything... (Score:3, Insightful)
TV-Gator (Score:3, Funny)
It's not a problem, It's an opportunity! (Score:3, Interesting)
Their business model has broken and they're trying vainly to simply patch it up by calling in the lawyers and copy-protection gurus instead of addressing the root cause -- lack of value for money.
The same goes with the free-to-air (FTA) ad-funded TV broadcast model. They're losing advertising revenues because technology (TiVo/ReplayTV) is marginalizing their business model. Like the recording industry, they're trying to patch up this shonky model by simply ramping up the intrusiveness of the advertising -- which will have entirely predictable results.
So... here's the solution:
Just as the Net allows MP3 music files created by independent recording artists to be distributed in high quality and at low cost, the use of DivX now allows indie TV producers the chance to get their programming out there at low cost.
Just look at how widely distributed and highly praised the indie 405 movie [405themovie.com] became thanks to its release on the Net.
Just as in the music industry, there are a lot of really talented producers, directors, actors and effects people out there who might gain significiant benefit when FTA TV finally pushes their luck too hard and really piss off viewers.
I'm sure that most of us would consider a subscription or short (30-60 second) advertisement at the start of each indie movie as a small price to pay in order to enjoy more of great stuff like this -- whilst thumbing our noses at the FTA networks and their lame business model.
The secret to success is realising that an obstacle in your path is simply the chance to climb up and gain a better vantage point.
can anyone say... (Score:5, Interesting)
Of course, most people don't have anything other to occupy their time these days anyway, so they might as well watch their programming in all of it's purely marketing glory.
Heh, did anyone else see Minority Report? What brilliant irony, a film with tons of stuff showing how scary, invasive, and annoying advertising could become, is a film laced with product placement from beginning to end...
How long till the moon has a Pepsi or a Nike logo staring down at all of us. We the people, we the consumers.
I'm amazed (Score:3, Insightful)
LS
BBC (Score:3, Interesting)
It just makes me want to hug the TV licence fee ~$160 per year. This gives me 8 TV channels with no ad breaks - whole uninterrupted movies.
Just imagine a whole evening's viewing without anything allegedly washing whiter.
The UK TV licence, you can't justify it but by gum it works!
When this happens, I stop watching. (Score:3, Insightful)
I don't watch much TV, and I skip over the ads of what I do watch with my Tivo. Ad-free TV has been nice, and I'd even be willing to pay for the shows I enjoy (one at a time-- I'm not paying for all the crap to get a few good shows a la cable), but if the options are ad-covered, distorted-aspect-ratio crap or nothing, nothing wins hands down.
Don't "THEY" Watch TV Too?? (Score:3, Insightful)
Aren't these folks retaining some semblence of human-ness? It's like, if you piss in the pool it's messed up for YOU too.. not just the other people in the pool.
I guess I just don't get it.
Vortran out
Re:Big screens and acceptance of popups (Score:4, Insightful)
I disagree. If I'm shelling out the bucks for a huge TV, I don't care what your excuse is, I want to watch programing on it. Now you're telling me I need to buy a 32 Inch TV to get the same effect as a 19 because the rest is ad space? Screw that.
It is a horrible deal. Even with a large TV. And what about tivo?
~Will
Parent
Re:hello.... (Score:5, Insightful)
Don't be ridiculous. Can you honestly see a TV exec saying "We had $200 million in interstitial ad revenue in 2002, but since we've picked up an additional $80 million in pop-up ad revenue we can afford to accept $80 million less of interstitial advertising." Big business is after big money, and they don't care how hard they have to annoy consumers to get it. Your only option will be to turn off the TV or turn the channel.
The funny thing about all of this is that the advertisers feel that people don't give commercials the "respect and attention" that they think they deserve. That's because the consumers don't think that commercials are generally worthy of respect or attention. They started doing interstitial advertising and people started flipping channels because they don't want to watch ads. They increased the amount of interstitial advertising and people switch channels and stay longer or they buy a Tivo to filter it all out. I wonder why? Oh yeah, that's right. People don't like advertising.
So now they want to adopt the Internet's most annoying, least respected and most ignored form of advertising: the pop-up. That will get them the "respect and attention" that their products deserve. Nevermind that people have already learned to ignore the popup windows on their PCs, which should greatly ease the transitition to ignoring the popups in their TV programming.
The only real difference between the Internet pop-ups and TV popups is that the TV pop-ups have the potential to be much more annoying. The first time that they pop up and block something important (the text of a suicide note in that mystery show, the car spinning out during the Indy 500, the outfielder failing to catch the fly ball that results in the game-winning run, etc) there will be ten kinds of hell to pay from every direction. Do the advertising agencies honestly think that by cramming themselves down our throats we will become more enamored of advertising? No, we'll just start watching channels that don't advertise with popups, if we watch TV at all.
The sad thing about this is that it is truly unnecessary. Actual commercials in general have been getting better over the years. Many of them are funny, some even quite entertaining. Adcritic.com built a web site that's sole reason to exist was to provide commercials for download over the net, and they were crushed by the demand and folded. What that says to me is that even though the average commercial is derided and ignored, people will go out of their way to see entertaining advertising.
If ad agencies made their commercials more entertaining then I wouldn't mind watching them so much. Ideas like the product placements in Survivor work well. You see the bag of Doritos, you see 7 starving contestants competing for the bag of Doritos, and you see the winning contestant chowing through them like they were ambrosia. Next time you get the munchies you think of Doritos. Advertising via sponsorship seems to work well too, at least in auto racing. Race fans are some of the most loyal consumers in the world, so long as their product is sponsoring their favorite driver or team. When choosing between two roughly equivalent products, I always choose the one that sponsors auto racing (if there is one), even if it is slightly more expensive. It makes sense to support those companies that support your interests, and I'm not the only sports fan that thinks that way.
It's interesting that TNT claims to have already trialed such a pop-up system last year during a showing of "Father of the Bride II" and didn't receive any phone calls complaining. What kind of ratings they got for that showing? How many people switched channels when they started seeing the ads? Does TNT realize that 90% of lost customers don't say anything about being unhappy before switching to a competitor? Would there have been a more significant response had they tested these ads during a more popular show? Just how many people actually tune in to watch a second-rate sequel that's seven years old on a second-rate cable network?
I guess in summary, there is a way to advertise effectively. If someone is thinks that pop-ups are effective then they obviously haven't figured it out yet.
Parent
Bowdlerized cartoons... (Score:3, Funny)
Some Bugs Bunny cartoons like "Bugs Bunny Nips The Nips" and "All This And Rabbit Stew" are on the "banned list" which meant that in 2000, when the pre-1948 WB cartoons and the 1948-on WB cartoons were "reunited" as AOL Time Warner properties, they couldn't air all the Bugs Bunny cartoons on June Bugs like they originally wanted to.
This crap also goes on with newer cartoons too. The incredibly good animated series "Daria" finished its run on MTV this year, and is now being aired on "The N" which is what Noggin calls itself after 5pm.
Now, Noggin is a joint partnership between MTV Networks' Nickelodeon channel and the Childrens' Television Workshop, best known for Sesame Street. This means that a lot of stuff gets cut from "Daria". So much so that some episodes get turned into meaningless mush after the schoolmarm censors get done with it. There are also episodes that will not air on The N.
At least I have my tapes of the episodes as they originally aired. [sigh]
I hate censorship.