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Episode III Opening Crawl Released
Posted by
michael
on Fri Jan 28, 2005 11:27 AM
from the war! dept.
from the war! dept.
moggyf writes "The official Star Wars website has revealed the opening crawler text for Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith, currently scheduled for a May 19th, 2005 release."
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Okay, did anyone else.... (Score:3, Informative)
No, but... (Score:5, Funny)
Parent
Re:Okay, did anyone else.... (Score:4, Funny)
That would really put a dent in the look and feel of Star Wars III.
Parent
Re:Worst Star Wars ever? (Score:5, Insightful)
Because it is Star Wars ?
No. We had less Jar-Jar in Ep2 than in Ep1, so logically there's even less in Ep3. Besides, if you think about it, Jar-Jar was actually a neccessary character for the plot - to get the Republic army established.
Possibly. I don't really see how Ep3, with the birth of Vader and fall of the Republic (and death of nearly all jedis), could possibly be anything but dark.
But, on more general note, was I the only one who actually liked Ep1 and Ep2 ? People seem to dislike them because they don't have the same feel as the Ep4-6, but of course they can't have the same feel - the original SW trilogy described a war, but the war only started at the end of Ep2.
Just forget midiclorians (as Lucas apparently did in Ep2 - never, ever try to explain mystery) and the ludicrous episode of kid Anakin accidentally blowing up the droid battleship, and they are actually pretty good movies.
I, for one, am very interested in seeing this one - now that the plot is moving full speed, with a desperate war being fought in the background, and Vader appearing to the scene, there is every reason to believe this could be the ESB of the new SW movies.
It better be - because if they mess up my favourite childhood villain...
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In Case Of Slashdotting (Score:5, Funny)
47 49 46 38 49 61 35 02 DC 02 C4 00 00 E0 E0 E0
F0 F0 F0 10 10 10 D0 D0 D0 A0 A0 A0 30 30 30 20
20 20 90 90 90 60 60 60 50 50 50 70 70 70 B0 B0
B0 40 40 40 80 80 80 C0 C0 C0 00 00 00 FF FF FF
00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00
00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00
00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 21 F9 04
00 00 00 00 00 2C 00 00 00 00 35 02 DC 02 00 05
FF 20 04 8E 64 69 9E 68 AA AE 6C EB BE 70 2C CF
[Lameness Filter encountered. Post aborted.]
Thank goodness for the Internet (Score:5, Funny)
Re:"You WILL!" (Score:5, Insightful)
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General Grievous? (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:General Grievous? (Score:5, Funny)
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Re:General Grievous? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:General Grievous? (Score:5, Funny)
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Re:General Grievous? (Score:5, Funny)
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Re:General Grievous? (Score:5, Funny)
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Youse Guys are giving me a (Score:4, Funny)
myke
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Re:General Grievous? (Score:5, Funny)
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Re:General Grievous? (Score:4, Funny)
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Re:General Grievous? (Score:5, Funny)
He's still mad that you bit his finger.
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Re:General Grievous? (Score:5, Informative)
"General Grievous was developed for Episode III as a powerful new villain on the side of the Confederacy. The initial instructions that Director George Lucas gave the Art Department were very open-ended: "a droid general." From that vague direction, the artists developed a lot of explorations, some purely mechanical, some not, for the look of General Grievous."
He can be seen here [starwars.com] engaged in heated battle with Earthworm Jim.
Parent
Wrong! (Score:5, Funny)
A droid, in the shape and likliness of a human, holding two lightsabers. I mean honestly!
Oops! You didn't study the picture closely enough. Gen. Grievous is clearly wielding not two but THREE lightsabers. Let's all raise our voices to congratulate Mr. Lucas for striking off in this radical new direction.
Parent
Re:General Grievous? (Score:5, Informative)
GTRacer
- Will be in a midnight line out of habit with tempered optimism in my heart...
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I would think the reference is blindingly obvious. (Score:4, Insightful)
Given that this is a story of the fall of the Republic and the Rise of the Empire, Lucas' literary allusion here seems to have all of the subtlety of a high-speed halfbrick to the cranium.
Come on, everyone-- ripping off Shakespeare is a noble literary tradition !
Parent
thanks... (Score:3, Funny)
Back to the Future (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Back to the Future (Score:5, Funny)
Agree. SW jumped the shark when Yoda said "tree you make like and get out of here!".
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Spoiler (Score:5, Funny)
NOOOO!!!!!!! (Score:5, Funny)
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Re:NOOOO!!!!!!! (Score:5, Funny)
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Capitalization (Score:4, Funny)
War! Huh! Hey! What is it good for? (Score:5, Funny)
Seriously, with the way the new crawl starts with the word "War!", Lucas just might have replaced it with "Ass!" or something else asinine.
Re:War! Huh! Hey! What is it good for? (Score:5, Funny)
No point in giving away the film in the first ten seconds.
Parent
And with that... (Score:3, Insightful)
Must RESIST ... must resist .. whimper (Score:5, Funny)
See. See.
Look. Look. Look.
See. See. See.
See Anakin. See Anakin turn. Turn Anakin turn.
See Jedis. See Jedis die. Die Jedis die.
See Palpatine. See Palpatine rule. Rule Palpatine rule.
Look. See Darth Vader. See Amidala. See Amidala give birth and hide children. Hide them Amidala.
See Amidala die. Die Amidala die.
There's so much to see.
Revised Crawl (Score:5, Funny)
Cash! The production house is crumbling
under attacks by the ruthless
Sith Lord, and Slashdot fanboys.
There are whiners on both sides.
Ennui is everywhere.
In a stunning move, the
fiendish droid leader, General
Lucas, has swept into the
Hollywood capital and kidnapped
famous movie critics, and leaders of
the big studios.
As the exhasperated Slashdot army
attempts to flee the onslaught
of PR pushed by bought-for flaks
two Jedi Knights lead a
desperate mission to rescue the
captive franchise...
good grief (Score:3, Insightful)
Or do they mean he's the general of a droid army?
These people need good writers, that's for sure.
Converts to gull blown screener (Score:3, Funny)
obligatory simpsons reference (Score:5, Funny)
The Gathering Shadow
It is a time of uncertainty. The
empire's ambiguous tariff statutes
mandate close reexamination of
galactic import quotas. Interim
Princess Agoomba has co-chaired
a subcommittee to draft amendments
to existing trade policies
Meanwhile, regulatory agencies
are being heavily lobbied by a
consortium of mercantile interest
groups and their suppliers to
streamline loading restrictions for
class C cargo vessels. The shipping...
It is just me (Score:4, Funny)
Holy... (Score:5, Funny)
He actually named a bad guy "General Grevious"???
What a breathtaking lack of creativity. I look forward to seeing his counterpart on the other side, Major Niceguy.
parody (Score:5, Funny)
''Turgid Hostage'' ! (Score:4, Funny)
Turgid hostage!
Did Senator Palpatine get a woody while being held down ?
Turgid:
1. Excessively ornate or complex in style or language; grandiloquent: turgid prose.
2. Swollen or distended, as from a fluid; bloated: a turgid bladder; turgid veins.
On the other hand you can say that all the Lucas movies are turgid.
Not spicy enough for todays audiences... (Score:4, Funny)
Note to Scroll Writing Staff:
Please rework Scroll to include the phrase "hot space-monkey nookie".
Please, no Wookie-Nookie jokes.
THX, GL
It's official... (Score:5, Funny)
And it's REALLY STUPID (Score:5, Funny)
In the prequel trilogies the crawls have served two purposes. The intentional purpose is to allow George Lucas to weasel out of characterization, establishing setting and place, and moving the plot along. Unlike the original trilogies, where the Star Wars universe's background and nature was established incidentally, through subtle details of what we see and hear during the movie, in the prequel trilogies they just use the opening crawl to say "plop, there it is", and disorientingly slam down the characters and setting they wish to put the movie in. After this point, since they seem to consider themselves thus freed from explaining themselves, they completely refrain during the movie from elaborating on the things the opening crawl sketches or filling in details beyond the crawl's bare outline (where is Naboo and why, if in any obvious way, are they important? who is the Trade Federation and why should we care? who is "count dooky", why would someone have heard of him, what does he claim he wants, and why does this all appear to be important to someone who does not know his true aspirations? who is "grevious", how and why is he starting a droid army, and what are the implications of this? most importantly what would the answer to these questions appear to be to someone within the movie-- not us the viewer, to whom the answers are "he's the bad guy and he wants to rule the world", what would an average citizen of the Republic think Dooku to be?) and so use the time freed up within the movie in this way to concentrate on roller-coaster-style but otherwise long, boring and irrelivant action scenes.
The unintentional purpose of the prequel trilogy opening crawls is to bash you over the head with how stupid all these character names are ("Grevious"? "Dooku"??? I mean come on!), just in case the majesty of John Williams' opening score might otherwise distract you from the suspicion that the entire plotline to the prequel trilogy was written by Lucas's 4-year-old child in a single sitting some years ago in crayon on a napkin.
Re:General Grievous? (Score:3, Insightful)
Or are we again doomed to a thread where all that is holy and righteous was that which was Star Wars 4, 5, and 6. :-p
Re:General Grievous? (Score:5, Insightful)
Seriously guys, if you try hard enough, you can easily see flaws in almost everything, even in the old trilogy. Try to imagine yourselves writing an opening crawler for episode III that couldn't be in some way criticised for any stupid elitist star wars zealot.
Don't bury the movie till you see it
Parent
Georgie? Is that you? (Score:4, Insightful)
Mr. Lucas, is that you?
Fool me once (Ep I), shame on me.
Fool me twice (EpII)... uh... can't get fooled again.
That twit isn't getting any more of my money. For Ep II he only got the rental money, this time he isn't getting squat.
Parent
Re:Can someone explain something(s)? (Score:5, Informative)
Evil. It's the laughing at wholesale destruction and killing the Jedi that gives it away...
Which is the Empire and which is the Rebellion? Is Dooku on either one of those?
The (Old) Republic becomes The Empire. The Rebellion hasn't started (because it has nothing, yet, to rebel against). Dooku is on the side that will become The Empire.
Which side (Palpatine vs .Dooku) is the one that gets Darth Vader and the Storm Troopers?
Palpatine and Dooku are on the same side. They are both Sith (i.e. evil).
Since Palpatine is the Emperor, how can he be on both sides?
Palpatine is creating a war situation to allow him to seize tighter control and disband the senate. This is a fairly unoriginal trick amongst politicians (see Margret Thatcher in the UK and George W. Bush in the US for real life examples - although they were both a bit less blatant about it). Palpatine's minions are running the separatist movement, under his orders.
I've seen Episode II a bunch of times, but frankly, I can't figure it all out.
It's not exactly complicated...
Parent
Re:Can someone explain something(s)? (Score:5, Insightful)
He's a politician, right? It doesn't matter which side of the aisle he sits on, he's evil through and through.
Seriously, episodes 4, 5, and 6 were about the rebels (clearly good guys fighting for their freedom) overcoming the "evil empire". It was clear where the good/bad distinction was. In episodes 1, 2, and 3, it's the story about how they got to that point. There were no clear sides, just decay throughout the entire old republic. Some people were good and some people were bad, but the good guys weren't organized to see what was going on.
To me, this is all very much related to how we all perceive world events. In the late 70's, early 80's, there was a clear good and bad side to the world (from our perspective in the west). The soviets were the "evil empire", and we were all the good guys fighting for freedom. In this day and age, the lines have blurred. Nobody's sure who's on "our" side, and we're all afraid about terrorists infiltrating our own neighourhoods. We still want to live by the old ideals of freedom, but we are also aware that there are people in power who might not have the noblest intentions. It's hard to paint Iraq or Iran as truly "evil" because we shy away from stereotypes now. The governments can't unite us against any enemy that we can't all agree is evil.
When I was growing up 20 years ago, the U.S. was the ultimate "good guy" nation. Now, none of us (outside the U.S.) know who the good guys really are anymore. Many of us expect the U.S. to turn on the rest of us merely out of its own self interest, even if it's against its own self-proclaimed principles to do so. Within the U.S., it seems like many people also worry about whether their own government will turn on them some day.
Movies tend to mirror the ideas and fears of the time when they are made. These movies are no exception.
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Re:Crawler Text in case of /.ing (Score:5, Funny)
THE RETURN OF THE HYPE
Money! Lucas' Fanbase is crumbling under
the onslaught of bad film after bad film.
Theree are people camping out for Episode
III, but everyone thinks they are just
kinda sad.
In a predictable move, Lucas Arts has
announced dozens of new action figures
and marketing tie-ins. Ronald McDonald has
been Kidnapped and is being replaced by
Yoda, C-3P0, and Chewbacca.
As the general geek community attempts
to brace for another soul-crushing
dissapointment, Jar Jar Binks threatens
to taint yet another gasping breath of
a dying franchise...
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I don't thin that Word means... a:Crawler Text (Score:4, Informative)
TURGID
[adj] abnormally distended especially by fluids or gas; "tumescent tissue"; "puffy tumid flesh"
Unless Lucas himself is playing Chancellor Palpatine I'm not sure how this description applies. Is it really necessary to point out that the guy is really fat in opening crawl?
Either that or "turgid" is sometimes used as an oblique reference to having a stiffy... and that REALLY doesn't need to be in the opening crawl, IMHO.
=tkk
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