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Television For an Audience 45 Light Years Away

Posted by kdawson on Sun Oct 01, 2006 05:01 AM
from the waiting-for-syndication dept.
Media Television Space
beebopdebop writes, "The Irish Times notes that Europe goes intergalactic tonight with the broadcast of a program conceived for aliens and broadcast towards a point 45 light years away in the direction of the Big Dipper. The two naked hosts will present their own unclothed bodies as examples of our physical embodiments, and will tell about daily human existence. Music, art, and our own personal messages will be transmitted as well as discussions from sociologists, scientists, and space experts. This project is the brainchild of the French-based Centre National D'etudes Spatiales and is rooted in seriousness as a natural extension of the gold-plated ambassador disks of Pioneer 10. Those of us wishing to be included can still post messages to be sent into space via a CNES antenna. We will have to wait 90 years to learn whether or not some lifeform was listening."
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  • The reply: (Score:5, Funny)

    by Legion303 (97901) on Sunday October 01 2006, @05:05AM (#16264321) Homepage
    "Put some clothes on, you flabby bastards."

    • Television For an ADULT Audience 45 Light-ys Away (Score:4, Interesting)

      by D4C5CE (578304) on Sunday October 01 2006, @05:50AM (#16264483)
      ...would probably be the more appropriate title.

      We may be sending out the wrong signals though by telling them this world is not just pre-Warp, but even pre-Wardrobe. ;-)

      Anyway, there's reason to be afraid someone may also have seriously misunderstood mankind's actual role in reproduction for Aliens [imdb.com]...

    • Re:The reply: (Score:5, Funny)

      by Kidbro (80868) <dibbe@@@linux...nu> on Sunday October 01 2006, @06:07AM (#16264531)
      "Put some clothes on, you flabby bastards."

      This is a European [istheshit.net] initiative, not an American one ;)

            • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

              by Kidbro (80868)
              It was a joke, dammit.

              Anyhoo, since people started complaining so much about it, I had to dig this [who.int] up (30kg/m^2+ is apparently the definition [wikipedia.org] of "obese"). The European countries are chosen "randomly" (in other words, I scrolled up and down that list, and picked the ones I noticed, until I had a total of ten).
    • More likely, it will be something to the effect of:



      This is an automated message.

      The message you sent (attached below) requires confirmation
      before it can be delivered. To confirm that you sent the
      message below, just hit the "R"eply button and send this
      message back (you don't need to edit anything). Once this is
      done, no more confirmations will be necessary.

    • Sounds like a loophole for airing a porn channel (Score:4, Insightful)

      by EmbeddedJanitor (597831) on Sunday October 01 2006, @02:16PM (#16267975)
      and perhaps we should broadcast this to people on earth to see if there are aliens amongst us?

  • Europe goes intergalactic tonight (Score:5, Insightful)

    by MichaelSmith (789609) on Sunday October 01 2006, @05:06AM (#16264327) Homepage Journal

    Since the target is only 45 light years away surely that should be intragalactic.

    • Re:Europe goes intergalactic tonight (Score:5, Insightful)

      by beh (4759) * on Sunday October 01 2006, @05:38AM (#16264449) Homepage
      I'd be curious to know how they want to prepare any potential "viewers" for what's in the stream coming to them...

      Even if they get a broadcast at a certain frequency - how intuitive will it be for an alien listener, that this broadcast will be audio/video in PAL, SECAM or NTSC coding?

      Sounds pretty useless to me - about the same chance, as if they send a windows version of the Encyclopedia Britannica out for aliens to browse through...

      In comparison, the gold plate on voyager is something more readily accessible - as an effort was made to keep the message simple.

      • Re:Europe goes intergalactic tonight (Score:4, Interesting)

        by MichaelSmith (789609) on Sunday October 01 2006, @06:30AM (#16264583) Homepage Journal

        I remember reading about a conference on communication with ET's where one person prepared a message, not encrypted, but just expressed in a strange way; which is what would would expect from ET's. The message was circulated to all attendees and none of them could extract the meaning, though there was a lot of slapping of foreheads, etc, when the answer was revealed.

        So yes, even for people who know they will have to decode an unknown message, it can be hard to meaning with no starting point.

        • Re:Europe goes intergalactic tonight (Score:4, Informative)

          by Lord Crc (151920) on Sunday October 01 2006, @07:36AM (#16264827)
          I remember reading about a conference on communication with ET's where one person prepared a message, not encrypted, but just expressed in a strange way

          Yeah I saw something similar. The guy had made a file containing the binary data and handed to fellow ET researchers, asking if they could decode it. Nobody was able to do it. The trick was that if you printed out the 1's and 0's using a certain column width, it drew a picture.

          There's a LOT of ways to encode data, which might seem intuative to some but will baffle others. I don't think you'll have to go further than the various file formats we got to see that ;)

  • The two naked hosts (Score:4, Funny)

    by Xemu (50595) on Sunday October 01 2006, @05:08AM (#16264331) Homepage
    "The two naked hosts will present their own unclothed bodies as examples of our physical embodiments, and will tell about daily human existence."

    Let's hope they picked Ingrid Swede and Scarlet Johansson. It would be interesting to hear them speak about their daily life.
    • Let's hope they picked Ingrid Swede and Scarlet Johansson. It would be interesting to hear them speak about their daily life.

      What? And make them think we reproduce like parthenogenesis?

      Of course if Scarlett Johansson was a typical human female, we probably would, ceteris paribus.

    • Re:The two naked hosts (Score:5, Insightful)

      by tehSpork (1000190) on Sunday October 01 2006, @05:35AM (#16264441)
      So, the real question is: Will these episodes be aired on our planet? :)
    • As long as it's not Keith Chegwin, we'll all be fine.

      Naked Jungle was just toooo much.

    • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

      by Fred_A (10934)
      They used animated versions of the two "sample humans" that were engraved on the pioneer probes.

  • hm, (Score:5, Funny)

    by joe 155 (937621) on Sunday October 01 2006, @05:09AM (#16264335) Journal
    Don't we already send out enough signals into space, many of which deal with the subject of life on our planet? If anything aliens would be getting pissed off with being inundated with out crap 24/7... and it doesn't help that they'd be getting about 3000 channels all the time so would find it really hard to tell the difference between them.

    On a slightly less serious note, is it really a good idea to teach potentially hostile aliens about how we work (and by extension how to kill us)? Not to mention we know that the only people who are really going to watch are 1000 light-years away waiting for single female lawyer
    • Yes, but now we can include our own messages. I've sent: "To whoever finds this note, I have been imprisoned by my father, who wishes me to marry against my will. Please, please, please come and rescue me. I am in the tall tower of Swamp Castle."

      That should make it an interesting day when their invasion army warps into orbit.

    • Couple things (Score:5, Insightful)

      by Sycraft-fu (314770) on Sunday October 01 2006, @06:50AM (#16264663)
      1) Just because we blast out signals all the time doesn't mean they are perceptible from any distance. None of our normal transmission systems are designed for anything but terrestrial operation. A large number face the Earth, many are low power and omnidirectional, and so on. Not the kind of thing really designed to be noticeable at interstellar distances. The SNR is likely to be too low. So something specifically designed and focused for it has a much better chance.

      2) I don't think it's a worry if they are hostile because it wouldn't really matter. Supposing they are a hostile race, and thus devote a good deal of research and effort to weapons development as we do, and supposing their technology is far enough ahead of ours that they could send an invasion fleet (something we are at least hundreds of years away form, maybe more) I think its' safe to assume that we would get rolled regardless of the information we provided. I mean think of it like this: Would it really matter if a society like 18th century Europe gave any info to a foe as advanced as the current US military? The technology difference is so massive that there's no hope. A single armour division would probably be sufficient to crush whole armies.

      Now please don't let this give the impression that I don't think this is a massive waste of time and money, it is, but not because of the reasons you listed (it's a waste because in all likelihood there's nothing there).
        • That's why we have to be careful what we send! We can't let them know we have Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck!
        • Oh, don't be silly - any civilization advanced enough to perfect interstellar travel would obviously have Rosetta on their systems!

          Sheesh, some people...

  • 90 years is optimistic (Score:5, Insightful)

    by the grace of R'hllor (530051) on Sunday October 01 2006, @05:09AM (#16264337)
    No, we'd have to wait a few years longer. Before 'they' figure out that it was a transmission, before they've decoded it correctly (do you think they use PAL or NTSC? Decisions!) and can begin to interpret it (who says they have eyes or ears?), manage to figure out what we are and what we're actually saying, and managed to construct a reply in a format that we're likely to be able to decode, you're probably looking at quite a few years.

    Given that we've only just managed to decipher what our own first man on moon actually said after a few decades, I think you're looking at decades of work.

    And all that's before they even manage to create and send a reply, which will take 45 years to get here.

  • Hope they have Tivo over there (Score:5, Funny)

    by LiquidCoooled (634315) on Sunday October 01 2006, @05:14AM (#16264353) Homepage Journal
    It would be a shame to send it once and have them miss it.

    This is the problem I have with specific EM signals.
    Once they are gone, thats it.

    I still think the only real way to communicate with outlying civilisations properly will be with supernovas.
    Though, only one message could be send - "Help our sun is blowing u^&"%£%^&!*(())[NO CARRIER]

  • SFL (Score:5, Funny)

    by Hogwash McFly (678207) on Sunday October 01 2006, @05:16AM (#16264361)
    I'd think they would much prefer the latest episode of Single Female Lawyer.

  • I'm going to get my Karma wiped out but... (Score:3, Funny)

    by wisebabo (638845) on Sunday October 01 2006, @05:17AM (#16264363) Journal
    I've gotta be the first to say this: So with the two naked presenters (presumably male and female adults, I haven't seen the show), exactly how are they going to show human reproduction?

    • Re:I'm going to get my Karma wiped out but... (Score:4, Informative)

      by he-sk (103163) on Sunday October 01 2006, @05:33AM (#16264429)
      The "hosts" were animated drawings, which looked surprisingly like the man and woman drawn on the disk that is aboard Pioneer.

      Incidentelly, I was watching TV with a friend yesterday as I don't own one, and while we flipped through the channels we stumbled upon that program. In the 10 minutes or so we watched, they showed an interview with Orson Welles, telling that he was shocked to learn that so many people took his radio play of War of the Worlds for real and then a guy who on 9/11 first thought that he, too, was in some kind of fake television play. Then they showed a report about early alien/monster movies and how they spoke of the desire and fear we have of the unknown.

      Inbetween segments they had a split screen with one panel showing a guy laying on the grass talking about something or other and in the other panels they showed beautiful nature photography.

      Quite entertaining, I must say.

  • Naivete.... (Score:4, Interesting)

    by VendettaMF (629699) on Sunday October 01 2006, @05:27AM (#16264409) Homepage
    Why do people continue to delude themselves that an alien intelligence will be able to comprehend communication as we consider it? And if they can that they'll be foolish enough to waste time on decoding, renderring and interpreting an unreachably distant point of light? And if they go that far, why the heck does anyone expect a usefull response?

    At best there'll be no response, but should they then pick up on our everyday TV the likely response is surely some form of uncrewed planet buster. I know I'd prefer not to leave a hornets nest like humanity brewing in any corner of my galaxy. No intelligence with a self-preservation process would.

    We are a crippled duck, currently hidden in a vast swamp. Our only security being through obscurity. Why the hell do people insist on flailing around screaming for the hunters? Actually, that doesn't quite work. We are a crippled unknown creature, that appears to have the mindset of a ravaging beast, but lacking the ability. Which lives longer? The rabid dog spazzing out in broad daylight in th emiddle of the street or the rabid cat stalking the shadows?
    • Well, turn it around then: if we received a signal from a distant alien race, don't you think we'd put our very best people onto decoding it the very same day it was received? You bet we would.

      Your point about our safety is well made. However, what if early explorers decided it was too dangerous to go out? "Nah, there might be monsters in those hills, I think i'll stay home by the fire". Safe, but pretty dull when there might be interesting things to discover.

  • Your planet has been blacklisted for pr0n-spamming (Score:5, Funny)

    by D4C5CE (578304) on Sunday October 01 2006, @05:27AM (#16264411)
    Sincerely, The alien operators of FireWall@Dipper.Big
  • They will already have seen episodes of Knight Rider and they will know that the Hoff rules the universe. Why would they bother with this crap?
    • They then saw Baywatch and after analysing the bouncing boobies for a while decided Hoff wasn't the ruler.
      It was a silicone intelligence.

  • Futurama? (Score:5, Funny)

    by Rik Sweeney (471717) on Sunday October 01 2006, @05:30AM (#16264423) Homepage
    Yeah, great idea! Let's beam out the first season of Lost and wait for the aliens to invade us because the finale gave them no answers and they got fed up with waiting for us to beam out the second season...
  • The two naked hosts will present their own unclothed bodies as examples of our physical embodiments, and will tell about daily human existence.

    Naked News has naked presenters telling about daily human existence, so this is old ;). If they just broadcast NN instead, I bet that'll get ET over here in a hurry though. [nakednews.com]
    • Oops, missed a </a>, sorry. Was meant to be be like

      Naked News [nakednews.com] has naked presenters telling about daily human existence, so this is old ;). If they just broadcast NN instead, I bet that'll get ET over here in a hurry though.
    • I don't think that that would get ET here any more quickly.

      Assuming that ET has an entirely different physiology, the would be aliens would have to be into humans through an extension of zoophilia or perhaps develop a form of xenophilia. (Is this the correct prefix when talking about ETs?)

  • 90 years (Score:4, Insightful)

    by Xemu (50595) on Sunday October 01 2006, @05:43AM (#16264459) Homepage
    We will have to wait 90 years to learn whether or not some lifeform was listening.

    But then the MPAA can still sue them for DCMA and copyright violations if they decoded the movie without a license and used parts of our broadcast in their reply!
  • In the book "Andromeda Strain", Michael Crichton discussed the various methods that an alien civilization might choose to contact us. Various manifestations of electromagnetic transmission, such as radio or television, are deemed to have too high a distance-to-expense ratio since signals fade in inverse square of the distance: Too little bang for too much buck.

    An interesting solution was proposed whereby you would use biological organisms to spread the news of your existence. By spreading vast amounts of

  • "Star in Big Dipper"? Errai is in Cepheus. (Score:3, Informative)

    by Explo (132216) on Sunday October 01 2006, @09:10AM (#16265219)
    Being an hopeless astronomy freak, I couldn't help noticing that the article doesn't quite appear to know where they're actually sending the broadcast. On the beginning on the article they're talking about sending the broadcast to a star in Big Dipper. Later, the name of the star turns out to be Errai. All is fine and dandy, except that the Errai resides in Cepheus.

    Article does not mention why that particular star was selected, however, it appears to host a known exoplanet, which is quite probably the reason here. Errai also happens to be somewhat more massive than our sun, which means that it progresses through its 'life' faster than the Sol. Any possible life out there has less time to evolve before the star kicks the bucket. It's also a double star, which may make the orbits of the planet(s) in the system somewhat more chaotic.

  • How THAT Will Go Down (Score:3, Funny)

    by Greyfox (87712) on Sunday October 01 2006, @09:20AM (#16265285) Homepage Journal
    The aliens will interpret the message as a declaration of war (Why else would those pink monkey things be shaking their genetaila at us?!) and build a vast fleet of planet-buster bombs which they will launch at us at sub-light speeds. In the hundreds of years they take to reach their destination they'll decode more of our signals and realize that we want to be freinds. Unfortunately, no one having thought to build a self-destruct into their armada of doom, their sole transmition to us will be "Freinds... oops, our bad..." which will arrive moments before their fleet destroys everything in our solar system.

    Or maybe not...

    • Re:Great, intergalactic pornography (Score:5, Funny)

      by ZeroExistenZ (721849) on Sunday October 01 2006, @05:41AM (#16264455)
      Great, now we're doing intergalactic pornography. What's next?

      Inter-dimensional porn?

      As a second thought; how could we ever make pornography that turns aliens on? Just imagine a dog or a lizard trying to get you turned on? (or a fat chick)>
      What if the mechanisms of reproduction are very different as ours? Maybe they would think of us as ugly stupid mamals, mainly driven by mating instincts and obsessively seek out into the universe for mating-partners. They OR would avoid earth, or send out more probing UFO's. Eitherway, not the desired result.

      • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

        by Anonymous Coward
        uh, how old is the lizard, and what is it wearing? Do you have some pics?

    • Re:Great, intergalactic pornography (Score:5, Insightful)

      by IWannaBeAnAC (653701) on Sunday October 01 2006, @06:17AM (#16264549)
      You should realize, the equivalence nakedness == pornography is virtually unique to the USA.

      • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

        by Denial93 (773403)
        >You should realize, the equivalence nakedness == pornography is virtually unique to the USA.

        And to those sorry people who have girlfriends with the last names of GIF and JPG. With the population of American geeks here, it surprises me that noone has yet wondered why we don't do it properly and send those aliens goatse.cx.

      • Re:Great, intergalactic pornography (Score:5, Insightful)

        by McDutchie (151611) on Sunday October 01 2006, @08:02AM (#16264923) Homepage
        You should realize, the equivalence nakedness == pornography is virtually unique to the USA.

        That's actually not true. In other theocracies it's often the same or even worse.

      • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

        by Pedrito (94783)
        You should realize, the equivalence nakedness == pornography is virtually unique to the USA.

        Au contraire, we share that distinction with a number of other countries that have their governments controlled by strong fundamentalist religious groups.

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