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George Carlin Dead of Heart Failure

Posted by CmdrTaco on Mon Jun 23, 2008 07:50 AM
from the true-original dept.
ashamanq was one of many who noted that comedian George Carlin has died of heart failure. Most famous for his "Seven Words You Can Never Say On TV" routine which resulted in a landmark supreme court ruling, he was a true voice against censorship, and also one of the funniest men ever. He was 71.
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  • by davidpack01 (580365) on Monday June 23 2008, @07:51AM (#23902033)
    I think he's up there now, smiling down at us.
    • by TapeCutter (624760) * on Monday June 23 2008, @08:02AM (#23902151) Journal
      "I think he's up there now, smiling down at us."

      And God is patting him on the back saying: "Thanks for trying to clear up the 10 commandments thing".
      • by cayenne8 (626475) on Monday June 23 2008, @07:58AM (#23902107) Homepage Journal
        I just heard about this....man too bad. I spent much of my youth memorizing his records.

        I've only got 7 things to say about this tragic loss of one of my favorite guys for humor and social commentary:

        Shit......piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker....and tits.

        R.I.P. George.

        :(

      • by XorNand (517466) * on Monday June 23 2008, @10:03AM (#23903649)
        I once had a first date with this *very* right wing girl I met at a party. When I picked her up, there was a typical uneasiness in the car so I switched on the radio for background noise. I immediately jumped to turn it off when I realized that I had left my Carlin CD in my CD player. She'd never heard any of his stuff and prompted me to turn it back on. I warned her that his stuff isn't for everyone but she insisted. Well, ok then...

        ::sound of audience clapping as Carlin takes the stage::

        (slight pause as he waits for the applause to die down)

        "Why... Why is it that most people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place?"

        That was truly one of the greatest facepalm.jpg moments of my life. Suffice to say that the rest of the evening was a bit awkward.
      • by Gordonjcp (186804) on Monday June 23 2008, @08:05AM (#23902181) Homepage

        Obviously, his soul is smiling down from Joe Pesci's roof, where it got stuck.

        • And here's something else, another problem you might have: Suppose your prayers aren't answered. What do you say? "Well, it's God's will." "Thy Will Be Done." Fine, but if it's God's will, and He's going to do what He wants to anyway, why the fuck bother praying in the first place? Seems like a big waste of time to me! Couldn't you just skip the praying part and go right to His Will? It's all very confusing.

          So to get around a lot of this, I decided to worship the sun. But, as I said, I don't pray to the sun. You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Two reasons: First of all, I think he's a good actor, okay? To me, that counts. Second, he looks like a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn't fuck around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that God was having trouble with.

          For years I asked God to do something about my noisy neighbor with the barking dog, Joe Pesci straightened that cocksucker out with one visit. It's amazing what you can accomplish with a simple baseball bat.

          So I've been praying to Joe for about a year now. And I noticed something. I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same 50% rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don't. Same as God, 50-50. Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe, the wishing well and the rabbit's foot, same as the Mojo Man, same as the Voodoo Lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles, it's all the same: 50-50. So just pick your superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself.

          --George Carlin

      • Re:Smiling down. (Score:5, Informative)

        by cayenne8 (626475) on Monday June 23 2008, @08:05AM (#23902189) Homepage Journal
        "Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck."

        --George Carlin

      • Re:Smiling down. (Score:5, Informative)

        by sorak (246725) on Monday June 23 2008, @08:23AM (#23902387)

        Um, I think you mean. May his body decay into the earth as nicely as fucking possible.

        Anyone who mentions "up there", "god", or "soul" in this article should be modded down.

        Hey, George Carlin has a bit about that phrase. GP's reference is not disrespectful.
      • by Anonymous Coward on Monday June 23 2008, @08:47AM (#23902693)

        Reminds me of Vonnegut talking about Asimov:

        I am honorary president of the American Humanist Association, having succeeded the late, great, spectacularly prolific writer and scientist, Dr. Isaac Asimov in that essentially functionless capacity. At an A.H.A. memorial service for my predecessor I said, "Isaac is up in Heaven now." That was the funniest thing I could have said to an audience of humanists. It rolled them in the aisles. Mirth! Several minutes had to pass before something resemble solemnity could be restored.

        • by cayenne8 (626475) on Monday June 23 2008, @09:12AM (#23903009) Homepage Journal
          "Yes, we would hate for anyone to interrupt the next few hours of Christian bashing."

          Keep it funny... here's another random quote: "If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted?"

          --George Carlin

          • ...back to Carlin Quotes (one of my favorite):

            "But I do mean that. I mean, I think the word fuck is an important word. It's the beginning of life, and, yet it's a word we use to hurt one other, quite often. And uh, people much wiser than I have said, I'd rather have my son watch a film with two people making love than two people trying to kill one other. And I of course agree. I wish I know who said it first, and I agree with that. But I would like to take it a step further. I would like to substitute the word fuck, for the word kill in all those movie cliches we grew up with.

            'Okay Sheriff, we're gonna fuck ya now. But we're gonna fuck ya slow.'

        • Re:Smiling down. (Score:5, Informative)

          by gnick (1211984) on Monday June 23 2008, @09:37AM (#23903327) Homepage

          Carlin was of Irish descent and was raised in the Roman Catholic faith.[22][23][24] - Wikipedia

          Anybody who mentions athiesm in a thread about a Christian's death should be modded flamebait or troll. Have a littlke respect, for God's sake.

          I'm not sure whether that's just a weird joke or not, but here.
          From the same Wikipedia article: [wikipedia.org]

          Although raised in the Roman Catholic faith, Carlin often denounced the idea of God in interviews and performances, most notably with his "Invisible Man in the Sky" and "There Is No God" routines. In mockery, he invented the parody religion Frisbeetarianism for a newspaper contest. He defined it as the belief that when a person dies "his soul gets flung onto a roof, and just stays there", and cannot be retrieved.

          Carlin also joked that he worshipped the Sun, because he could actually see it, but prayed to Joe Pesci (a good friend of his in real life) because "he's a good actor", and "looks like a guy who can get things done!"[40]

          Carlin also introduced the "Two Commandments", a revised "pocket-sized" list of the Ten Commandments in his HBO special Complaints and Grievances, ending with the additional commandment of "Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself."[41]

        • Re:Smiling down. (Score:5, Interesting)

          by CastrTroy (595695) on Monday June 23 2008, @10:06AM (#23903671) Homepage
          Isn't that the funniest thing about this guy? His comedy routine is quite vulgar, and not anything for children to see, yet he did some time playing Mr. Conductor on the Thomas the Tank Engine show. It's really weird when you think about it. Also reminds me of Bob Saget. His actual stand up comedy routine stuff is quite a far stretch from his Full House and America's Funniest Home Videos stuff.
      • by Verteiron (224042) on Monday June 23 2008, @08:24AM (#23902409) Homepage

        Smiling? I bet not, but if he's got that kind of view, he's probably doing something on us.

        Sure wish it'd stop raining.

      • Re:Smiling down. (Score:5, Interesting)

        by cowscows (103644) on Monday June 23 2008, @08:45AM (#23902659) Journal

        Earlier this morning I was thinking about how with as much media as we have these days, and the so many types of "celebrity" that exist, soon we're quickly approaching a future where someone famous is going to be dying pretty much constantly. The cnn.com homepage will become just a slideshow of who died today, while real news websites will decide that it's not worth the trouble and maybe just move those sorts of stories to a little sidebar somewhere.

  • Sad :( (Score:5, Insightful)

    by TimeForGuinness (701731) on Monday June 23 2008, @07:55AM (#23902071) Homepage Journal
    A philosopher who was funny...he will be missed. (lifts glass) Cheers, TFG
  • by Nursie (632944) on Monday June 23 2008, @07:56AM (#23902077) Homepage

    He's just gone into the future to the time when the Wyld Stallyns music forms the basis of society.

  • by thegrassyknowl (762218) on Monday June 23 2008, @07:57AM (#23902089)

    We held a little ceremony here before. Carlin was a truly great man. A voice against censorship and generally against rampant stupidity as well.

    May his memory live long and someone crop up and continue on in his great tradition of telling the 'system' to go fuck itself.

  • by copponex (13876) on Monday June 23 2008, @07:58AM (#23902111) Homepage

    You will be missed, pal.

    "In the Bullshit Department, a businessman can't hold a candle to a clergyman. 'Cause I gotta tell you the truth, folks. When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told.

    Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man -- living in the sky -- who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!

    But He loves you.

    He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!"

    -George Carlin

    • by elrous0 (869638) * on Monday June 23 2008, @08:15AM (#23902273)
      One of the few comedians who stayed completely relevant over the span of many decades. He was also able to reinvent himself on several occasions, and each time very effectively. In the early 60's he was part of a vanilla Lewis and Martin-type comedy team, in the late-60's/early 70's he became a cutting edge counter-culture comic, and in the 80's he became a great comic actor. Truly amazing.

      I was watching him in Dogma [imdb.com] just this weekend. That opening with him introducing the "Jesus Wow!" campaign still cracks me up.

      He'll be missed.

  • Semantics (Score:5, Interesting)

    "Get 'on' the plane, get 'on' the plane..."

    "Fuck you, I'm getting *IN* the plane."

    I started listening to "Class Clown" in 3rd or 4th grade. I always liked his insight, even if he did seem to get quit bitter over the past few years. I always liked his take on growing up in Morningside Heights. He always said that saying you were from a place like Morningside Heights would get you beat up, so he liked to say he was from "White Harlem."

    His routine on "Shell Shock vs. Post Traumatic Stress-Disorder" rings very true.

    • Re:Semantics (Score:5, Informative)

      by Alzheimers (467217) on Monday June 23 2008, @08:13AM (#23902255)

      Good choices, though I was always a fan of the Baseball vs. Football [baseball-almanac.com] routine.

      And he's right on about Hockey: [boredatuni.com]

      Hockey comes to mind. People think hockey is a sport. It's not. Hockey is three activities taking place at the same time: ice skating, fooling around with a puck, and beating the shit out of somebody.

      RIP man.

  • God Damnit! (Score:5, Interesting)

    by squarefish (561836) * on Monday June 23 2008, @08:07AM (#23902195)
    I had to convince my girlfriend a few weeks ago that we should get tickets because he's one person I would really like to see before he, ahmen, dies. So we spent ~$160 for great ticket to see him at the Chicago theater on Oct. 11. I have no more words for this.
    • Re:God Damnit! (Score:5, Interesting)

      by smchris (464899) on Monday June 23 2008, @09:10AM (#23902985)

      At least you got the tickets. I decided at the last minute that 500+ miles round trip was too much for Jimi Hendrix in '69. Ditto when my parents said, "You've been working all summer without a break. Why don't you take the car this weekend and see this Janis Joplin singer?" Can't be that many double losers. Gotta see 'em when they're still here.

  • by Anonymous Coward on Monday June 23 2008, @08:08AM (#23902203)

    With nothing but contempt for modern humanity and politics, I highly doubt he'd want anyone to mourn.

    So I'll tell it like it is.
    Today an great man died.
    He was a foul-mouthed rat-bastard hippy conspiracy theorist.
    May his soul be blessed by whoever gives a damn.

  • by wcrowe (94389) on Monday June 23 2008, @08:30AM (#23902479)

    "Two minutes... get your shit together..."

    May he rest in peace.

  • Words to live by (Score:5, Insightful)

    by InadequateCamel (515839) on Monday June 23 2008, @08:38AM (#23902583)

    He's moved on, departed from the Big Electron. He was a giant and will be missed. I have taken one of his phrases to heart:

    "Think about how stupid the average person is. Now, realise that half of them are dumber than that."

    RIP Mr Carlin.

  • by mlwmohawk (801821) on Monday June 23 2008, @08:57AM (#23902839)

    Don't get me wrong, I loved Carlin all my life, but one of the things that was pissing him off lately was the fact that people weren't questioning government or religion as much as they used to be, and by all measure, things are getting worse.

    Maybe this shock will wake up some people. Maybe the inevitable memorials will spark a renewal of the rebellious spirit.

    I only hope so.

    As a fellow atheist, I have come to accept that people only live on as the effect they've had on the world. For a relatively brief time in history, the world had a great jester and poet, lets all take time to remember him in or lives.
     

  • I'm a modern man, A man for the millennium, Digital and smoke free.

    A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist, Politically anatomically and ecologically incorrect.

    I've been uplinked and downloaded. I've been inputted and outsourced. I know the upside of downsizing. I know the downside of upgrading.

    I'm a high tech lowlife. A cutting edge state-of-the-art bicoastal multitasker, And I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond.

    I'm new wave but I'm old school, And my inner child is outward bound.

    I'm a hot wired heat seeking warm hearted cool customer, Voice activated and biodegradable.

    I interface from a database, And my database is in cyberspace, So I'm interactive, I'm hyperactive, And from time-to-time, I'm radioactive.

    Behind the eight ball, Ahead of the curve, Riding the wave, Dodging a bullet, Pushing the envelope.

    I'm on point, On task, On message, And off drugs. I got no need for coke and speed, I got no urge to binge and purge.

    I'm in the moment, On the edge, Over the top, But under the radar.

    A high concept, Low profile, Medium range ballistic missionary. A street-wise smart bomb. A top gun bottom feeder.

    I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps, I run victory laps.

    I'm a totally ongoing bigfoot slam dunk rainmaker with a proactive outreach. A raging workaholic. A working ragaholic. Out of rehab, And in denial.

    I got a personal trainer, A personal shopper, A personal assistant, And a personal agenda.

    You can't shut me up, You can't dumb me down. 'Cause I'm tireless, And I'm wireless. I'm an alpha male on beta blockers.

    I'm a non-believer and an over-achiever. Laid back but fashion forward.

    Up front, Down home, Low rent, High maintenance.

    Super size, Long lasting, High definition, Fast acting, Oven ready, And built to last.

    I'm a hands on, Foot loose, Knee jerk, Head case.

    Prematurely post traumatic, And I have a love child who sends me hate mail.

    But I'm feeling, I'm caring, I'm healing, I'm sharing. A supportive bonding nurturing primary care giver.

    My output is down, But my income is up. I take a short position on the long bond, And my revenue stream has its own cash flow.

    I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds, I watch trash sports.

    I'm gender specific, Capital intensive, User friendly, And lactose intolerant.

    I like rough sex. I like rough sex. I like tough love. I use the f word in my email, And the software on my hard drive is hard core, no soft porn.

    I bought a microwave at a mini mall. I bought a mini van in a mega store. I eat fast food in the slow lane.

    I'm toll free, Bite sized, Ready to wear, And I come in all sizes.

    A fully equipped, Factory authorized, Hospital tested, Clinically proven, Scientifically formulated medical miracle.

    I've been pre-washed, Pre-cooked, Pre-heated, Pre-screened, Pre-approved, Pre-packaged, Post-dated, Freeze-dried, Double-wrapped, Vacuum-packed, And I have an unlimited broadband capacity.

    I'm a rude dude, But I'm the real deal. Lean and mean. Cocked, locked and ready to rock. Rough tough and hard to bluff.

    I take it slow. I go with the flow. I ride with the tide. I got glide in my stride.

    Drivin' and movin', Sailin' and spinnin', Jivin' and groovin', Wailin' and winnin'.

    I don't snooze, So I don't lose. I keep the pedal to the metal, And the rubber on the road.

    I party hearty, And lunch time is crunch time.

    I'm hanging in, There ain't no doubt. And I'm hanging tough, Over and out.

    -George Carlin, Life Is Worth Losing, Beacon Theater, HBO

  • This would be shitty news to wake up to any day, but it's even worse on your birthday.

    Along with Bill Hicks, George Carlin was my absolute favorite comedian. What they did was much more than just comedy, though. The reason I loved George so much, just as with Bill, was because, in the process of making you laugh so hard, they also made you think. George had the ability to make you see how ridiculous certain things really were, even if you didn't want to.

    So long, George. You're irreplaceable.
      • Re:Stern (Score:5, Insightful)

        by Soporific (595477) on Monday June 23 2008, @08:09AM (#23902219)

        I think when his wife died it really changed him and his routines. I still found him funny, but he came off very angry.

      • by 0100010001010011 (652467) on Monday June 23 2008, @08:11AM (#23902235)

        I'm tired of television announcers, hosts, newscaster, and commentators, nibbling away at the English language, making obvious and ignorant mistakes. If I were in charge of America's broadcast stations and networks, I would gather together all the people whose jobs include speaking to the public, and I would not let them out of the room until they had absorbed the following suggestions. I'm aware that media personalities are not selected on the basis of intelligence. I know that, and I try to make allowances for it. Believe me, I really try. But still ⦠There are some liberties taken with speech that I think require intervention, if only for my own sake. I won't feel right if this chance goes by, and I keep my silence.

        The English word forte, meaning "specialty" or "strong point," is not pronounced "for-tay." Got that? It is pronounced "fort." The Italian word forte, used in music notation, is pronounced "for-tay," and it instructs the musician to play loud: "She plays the skin flute, and her forte [fort] is playing forte [for-tay]." Look it up. And don't give me that whiny shit, "For-tay is listed as the second preference." There's a reason it's second: because it's not first!

        Irony deals with opposites; it has nothing to do with coincidence. If two baseball palyers from the same hometown, on different teams, receive the same uniform number, it is not ironic. It is a coincidence. If Barry Bonds attains lifetime statistics identical to his father's it will not be ironic. It will be a coincidence. Irony is "a state of affairs that is the reverse of what was to be expected; a result opposite to and in mockery of the appropriate result." For instance:

        * If a diabetic, on his way to buy insulin, is killed by a runaway truck, he is the victim of an accident. If the truck was delivering sugar, he is the victim of an oddly poetic coincidence. But if the truck was delivering insulin, ah! Then he is the victim of an irony.

        * If a Kurd, after surviving bloody battle with Saddam Hussein's army and a long, difficult escape through the mountains, is crushed and killed by a parachute drop of humanitarian aid, that, my friend, is irony writ large.

        * Darryl Stingley, the pro football player, was paralyzed after a brutal hit by Jack Tatum. Now Darryl Stingley's son plays football, and if the son should become paralyzed while playing, it will not be ironic. It will be coincidental. If Darryl Stingley's son paralyzes someone else, that will be closer to ironic. If he paralyzes Jack Tatum's son that will be precisely ironic.

        I'm tired of hearing prodigal being used to mean "wandering, given to running away or leaving and returning." The parable in the Book of Luke tells of a son who squanders his father's money. Prodigal means "recklessly wasteful or extravagant." And if you say popular usage has changed that, I say, fuck popular usage!

        The phrase sour grapes does not refer to jealousy or envy. Nor is it related to being a sore loser. It deals with the rationalization of failure to attain a desired end. In the original fable by Aesop, "The Fox and the Grapes," when the fox realizes he cannot leap high enough to reach the grapes, he rationalizes that even if he had gotten them, they would probably have been sour anyway. Rationalization, that's all sour grapes means. It doesn't mean deal with jealousy or sore losing. Yeah, I know you say, "Well many people are using it that way, so the meaning is changing." And I say, "Well many people are really fuckin' stupid too, shall we just adopt all their standards?"

        Strictly speaking, celibate does not mean not having sex, it means not being married. No wedding. The practice of refraining from sex is called chastity or sexual abstinence. No fucking. Priests don't take a vow of celibacy, they take a vow of chastity. Sometimes referred to as the "no-nookie clause."

        And speaking of sex, the Immaculate Conception does not mean Jesus was concieved in the