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Spoiler-Free Review of Indiana Jones
Posted by
CmdrTaco
on Wed May 21, 2008 07:50 AM
from the something-to-read dept.
from the something-to-read dept.
Following last week's sour review of Indiana Jones, Seamus123 links us to
"A spoiler-free review of the brilliant new Indiana Jones film, The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Much has been made of the revival of the series: is Harrison Ford too old, is Shia LeBeouf any good and can it live up to the three previous movies? All these questions — and some surprising answers — are found in Den of Geek's review." Personally I'll see it no matter what.
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[+]
Early Review Calls New Indiana Jones Film Dreadful 643 comments
bowman9991 writes "Hope this one isn't true! An early negative review calls the upcoming "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" movie predictable, lacking in tension, and a fan's worst nightmare. SFFMedia believes this new Indiana Jones movie could create a similar reaction a lot of people experienced after watching the first of the last three Star Wars movies, 'The Phantom Menace': you wait for years and years, the anticipation building, and then it's so awful it taints your view of the original movies. Of course George Lucas was involved with Star Wars too." The SFFMedia piece refers to this review on Ain't it Cool News. The trailer I saw (before Iron Man) actually looked great to me, so I'm taking this with a grain of salt.
[+]
Games: LucasArts Layoffs Spark Many Rumors, Including KOTOR 3 170 comments
It seems that LucasArts has laid off somewhere in the neighborhood of 100 employees, sparking all sorts of interesting leaks and rumors. Chief among the rumors seems to be another carrot in the chase for the LucasArts/Bioware MMO project, which according to one employee, will take the shape of KOTOR 3. "Most interesting, however, is the information they provide on how the layoffs leave the company severely short-staffed as they approach a packed development schedule, one which it appears may be increasingly outsourced. Some of the titles they report LucasArts apparently have in this stacked pipeline, whether as publisher or developer, include: KOTOR 3, Battlefront 3, 'The Official Indiana Jones' game, another LEGO based game based on the Indy universe, and 'a lightsaber game for the Wii.'"
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Shia LeBeouf to Carry on the Franchise? (Score:5, Interesting)
Could this be good? Maybe. But I sure will lament the loss of Ford. In any event I hope to god that LeBeouf's character doesn't assume Indie's role or character or name directly in the coming movies. I haven't seen Crystal Skull yet so I can't say if they're setting us up for that the end (I hope not).
You know, I love the attitude of Indiana Jones and everything about the character but I'm going to get tired of it if you keep rehashing it. You know, it's ok to try out new things and introduce new personalities. In fact, it's almost required for the audience not to lose their interests. Hell, I wouldn't even mind if Lucas kept stealing high level plot lines from Akira Kurosawa films--so long as I don't get the same thing in 6+ movies of a diluted film franchise.
I joked with my roommates that we're not far from Lucas re-releasing a "Special Edition" of The Last Crusade where River Phoenix is superimposed with the image of Shia LeBeouf for continuity (a la Anakin Skywalker's apparition in Return of the Jedi). I know he's not the young version of Indiana Jones but I'm so sick and tired of that kind of stuff. Where's Drew Berrymore so she can step in and convince Lucas we should take this chance to replace all the scary whips in Indiana Jones with licorice sticks.
Re:Shia LeBeouf to Carry on the Franchise? (Score:5, Funny)
Parent
Re:Shia LeBeouf to Carry on the Franchise? (Score:5, Funny)
Parent
Re:Shia LeBeouf to Carry on the Franchise? (Score:5, Funny)
Uh... I assune you mean Drew Barrymore. Drew Berrymore's a _completely_ different actress and trust me, she wouldn't be asking for any whips to be removed...
Parent
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Hey Indy! Hey Indy! We're going to Candy Mountain! Candy Mountain! Come on, Indy!
[Indiana Jones ends up in a dark cave.]
Oh, they took my kidney.
What a sad excuse for an Indiana Jones movie that would be....
Meesa gonna see it too! (Score:5, Funny)
Meesa no wait for poodoo reviews! Meesa gonna give bigsa clink-clink to franchise rightawaysa! What could go wrongsa?
Re:Meesa gonna see it too! (Score:5, Funny)
I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of English teachers suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.
Parent
Re:Meesa gonna see it too! (Score:5, Funny)
Parent
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
RIP Denholm Elliott (Score:5, Funny)
Elsa: It's perfectly obvious where the pages are... he's given them to Marcus Brody.
Henry: Marcus?! You didn't drag poor Marcus along did you? He's not up to the challenge.
Donovan: He sticks out like a sore thumb. We'll find him.
Indy: The hell you will! He's got a two day head start on you, which is more than he needs. Brody's got friends in every town and village from here to the Sudan, he speaks a dozen languages, knows every local custom, he'll blend in, disappear, you'll never see him again. With any luck, he's got the grail already.
(next scene)
(Brody disembarks from the train along with the other passengers, a cross-section of Arabs and Turks.)
Brody: Is there anyone here who speaks English? Or maybe even ancient Greek?
Re: (Score:3, Informative)
An hommage to W. C. Fields.
rj
No matter what? (Score:5, Funny)
Then the terrorists have already won
Spoiiler Free ...HA! (Score:5, Insightful)
When I do know the ending from hearing it from others, it has no affect on my enjoyment of the movie. Great film making is great film making. Everyone knew the ending of "Titanic" but it is the biggest blockbuster ever.
I want to know everything about the movie before I go a spend $10 on a ticket to see it. Nothing pisses me off more than going out with the wife and spending $20 on shit.
Re:Spoiiler Free ...HA! (Score:5, Insightful)
Many other movies do not depend on the twists and turns of the story, like LotR. Many people enjoyed it even though it was clear what would happen.
Many movies are just a trip from A to B, like LotR. You have a ring, you need to get rid of it and that is what happens. Other movies, like the sixt sense, the change of direction in the story is the goal of the storyteller.
Yes, American movies seldom use the twist to suddenly point in a complete different direction. Most of the time they just sidestep a bit, or they go completely overboard and do more turns then a drunken balerina. One thing you often need not to do is think and that is what those plot twists need.
Parent
Re:Memento (Score:4, Insightful)
Parent
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:Spoiiler Free ...HA! (Score:5, Interesting)
One of my favorite movies is The Man from Earth. Simple, 0 CGI and it's a great discussion and there's even a small plot twist at the end.
Parent
Re: (Score:3, Informative)
The Crying Game wasn't really a Hollywood film anyway.
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
* spoiler alert! (Was I supposed to say that first?)
Re:Spoiiler Free ...HA! (Score:5, Funny)
Even more amusing is the IMDB entry:
Apparently the Titanic sank because of hypothermia. Poor ship just needed a blanket and a Cup O' Noodles.
Parent
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Spoiiler Free ...HA! (Score:4, Funny)
Parent
Re:You *WILL* be surprised [spoilers] (Score:4, Interesting)
Parent
I doesn't fit with the franchise style. (Score:3, Insightful)
How is a UFO more unbelievable than a vengeful god
It just doesn't fit in the mood which was set by the franchise. I'm watching Indiana Jones movies to see exotic and/or ancient civilisation and mythologies ; not a damned E.T. which is missing one last part to be able to finally phone home. (Unless the movie is expressly advertised as a Indiana Jones / E.T. crossover).
An UFO is as much appropriate in a franchise which up to now focused on ancient civilisation and magic, as it would be in, say, a Fantasy movie such as Conan, LOTR, Harry Potter, etc...
What's
Re: (Score:3, Informative)
Apparently, even the screenwriters couldn't figure out who killed one of the characters (the chauffeur). So they called Raymond Chandler, the author of the book, and he said he couldn't figure it out either.
Shia The Cow (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Shia The Cow (Score:5, Funny)
You call him "Doctor Jones", doll!
Parent
Re: (Score:3, Interesting)
There's nothing sadder than adults that go to a children's movie and then are surprised when the movie is "childish." My 6 year-old son thought the movie was great, and I thought that the movie was surprisingly good considering it is a movie featuring a talking semi-truck.
The reality of the situation is that the Transformers cartoon was only good because a) you were a kid, and b) the alternatives were shows like the Smurfs.
CGI (Score:5, Insightful)
Thank god. CGI made Star Wars 3 one of the worst movies I've ever seen. "This chair doesn't look quite right, can you paint it orange?" "I'll just make a quick 3d model of it instead. You know -- to ensure the movie doesn't look too real."
Re:CGI (Score:5, Insightful)
I really think directors need to stick to using "real" effects instead of cgi simulations. We can still tell the difference, so all it does is interrupt the movie and make me aware that I'm really watching a movie. The goal should be to immerse the viewer, no matter how outlandish the plot may be, and not to make him say 'wow, that looked so fake.' And while I'm at it, I'd rather see some sort of puppet/animatron than a cgi character to be completely honest, however, LOTR did a good job with Gollum.
Parent
Re:CGI (Score:4, Insightful)
The move back to "the old-fashioned way" is a wise choice. I do not want a CGI Ford bouncing around like Yoda. Even Del Toro (for the Hobbit) seems to agree http://www.ifitsmovies.com/2008/04/28/guillermo-del-toro-talks-the-hobbit-plus-its-sequel/ [ifitsmovies.com].
And why not CGI? Well, look at Blade Runner, Alien, and the original Star Wars movies. They felt so real because the models were real.
Parent
Spoiler (Score:5, Funny)
Short -term memory syndrome. (Score:3, Interesting)
However, I have absolutely no understanding why.
Please can someone explain to me, why that when the 1st Star Wars Prequel was widely regarded as a crime against celluloid, and the 2nd Prequel proved, if anything, to be even worse that the 1st, that anyone at all went to see the 3rd Prequel.
George Lucas is a filmmaker that has made an extremely large amount of money based on a very small number of good films made more than 20 years ago, while the majority of his work is very poor indeed. One might also say that for Spielberg too.
If you have high expectations for this movie, then might I suggest that you are possibly suffering from amnesia, or are 5.
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Morbid curiosity.
Re:Short -term memory syndrome. (Score:4, Insightful)
Parent
Re: (Score:3, Interesting)
Yes, because Lucas' directors took his stories and told him to take a hike over the implementation. Hopefully, Spielberg has laid it on the line to George here. If ESB had been left to Lucas, the thing would have sucked like a black hole. Not even light would have escaped, and I shudder to think at what we would have lost.
The special effects were better in the originals (they actually looked real, and they actually were special
honestly now (Score:4, Insightful)
Why? Just because of the first two words in the title? That, frankly, is a piss-poor reason to see a movie.
Yours is the exact attitude that causes movie studios to continue producing terrible sequels and re-makes instead of movies that are worth watching. Why innovate when you can imitate for cheaper and people will eat it up anyway, right?
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
Who cares that Hollywood spits out a ton of shit, there are quality movies in circulation anyway. But if I want to slip back in my 12 years old self I go and see 'crap' movies like this, or even Rocky VI. Why? Because.
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
Get over yourself, shithead.
Re:honestly now (Score:5, Insightful)
How did you come to that conclusion? It is the fourth film in a franchise that has produced, at the very least, some entertaining movies.
And if there is imitation going on, it is all the people from the first three imitating themselves. This isn't some Flavor of the Month franchise that they handed to a no name director because the guy that handled the first one moved on to bigger and better things. This is the team that brought us one of the most iconic action movies of recent times taking another stab at the character.
In my book, that's a damn good reason to see a movie.
Yes, even if it turns out to be crap. How am I going to know until I see it? Reviewers? (insert sounds of maniacal laughter)
I understand what you are trying to say, and with almost any other sequel (hell, any other movie) released lately I would be agreeing with you, but in this case I think your ire is misdirected.
Parent
Re:honestly now (Score:4, Insightful)
If someone enjoyed the previous movies, then seeing the sequels just because of the name is a perfect reason to see them. What else should you base your desire to see a movie on? Critic reviews? BS. Friend's word-of-mouth? Even more BS. Budget size? BS. Director, Producer, Studio? Wrong again. They all have their own hits and misses.
There is no better reason to see a movie than if you saw a first version and liked it, then of course you should see the next entries.
That would be like saying I liked this can of Chicken Noodle soup, but I'm going to wait and see what Julia Child thinks of this next can before I warm it up.
I'm not saying you have to automatically like the sequel, but it sure as hell is a good enough reason to see them.
Parent
My spoiler-free Review of Indiana Jones (Score:5, Funny)
*whipcrack*
*wisecrack*
*swiiiiiiing*
*punchpunchpunch*
INDY!!!
Dah-nuh-da-da!
Review seems forced... (Score:5, Interesting)
Things like -
He's really old, but that's a GOOD thing!
- just wear thin on me.
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
Like the classic scene where he decides he can't be bothered by the ninja, and instead just shrugs and pulls his gun. There are quite a number of little moments like that, where he reveals that Indy Jones is just a normal human and not a superhero like John McClane.
I guess I'm kinda hop
That's not a review... (Score:4, Insightful)
I can only take so much sugar in my reading material.
Oh rally? (Score:5, Insightful)
OMG by bullshit detector just exploded.
Re: (Score:3, Interesting)
Old (as in "aged") characters: fine. Old (as in "recycled") characters: lame.
Re:Why couldn't they have just left this alone? (Score:4, Funny)
Parent
Re:My review: (Score:5, Interesting)
The most famous one, the Mitchell-Hedges skull has not been allowed to be studied, but it was reportedly found in Lubaantun in Belize (when it was British Honduras). The problem is, no one acknowledges the finder, Anna Mitchell-Hedges was at the dig, though later her adopted father said in his autobiography (I think) the skull was at least 3600 years old. I severely doubt that it is authentic and believe it is more of a money/attention grab, but it fits well with Indiana Jones since all of the movies have been about mythological objects that may or may not be real.
Parent
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)