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Smilin' Bob Not Smilin' Anymore 357

Consumerist reports an Associated Press release that Steve Warshak, 42, was found guilty of 93 counts of conspiracy, fraud and money laundering. His 75-year-old mother, who has cancer, was found guilty of conspiracy and other charges, and was sentenced to 2-years, but is free pending appeal. US District Judge Arthur Spiegel, in Cincinnati, OH, denied Mr. Warshak's request to remain free pending appeal, but gave him 30 days to wrap up his affairs and report to prison. Besides Enzyte, Washak's company, Berkeley Premium Nutraceuticals, who also distributes products to boost energy, manage weight, reduce memory loss and aid sleep, will be allowed to stay in business — but must forfeit $500 million. Among their most egregious offenses was a requirement of a Notarized statement from a doctor certifying that they had a small penis. Amazingly, remarkably few customers availed themselves of the refund offer. Unfortunately, it looks like the commercials will still be able to continue...
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Smilin' Bob Not Smilin' Anymore

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  • Snake Oil (Score:5, Informative)

    by 18_Rabbit ( 663482 ) on Monday September 01, 2008 @06:10PM (#24835313)
    How do people suspend their critical thinking enough to believe these things? Snake oil has been around forever, it looks like it's not going away any time soon.
    • Re:Snake Oil (Score:5, Insightful)

      by KGIII ( 973947 ) <uninvolved@outlook.com> on Monday September 01, 2008 @06:12PM (#24835337) Journal

      People with little dicks will do anything for a cure. One that doesn't require them telling people about their sexual problems is even more likely to make money given their desperation.

      • by gbjbaanb ( 229885 ) on Monday September 01, 2008 @06:13PM (#24835347)

        People with little dicks will do anything for a cure.

        Really? I wouldn't know. :-)

        • by Maelwryth ( 982896 ) on Monday September 01, 2008 @06:25PM (#24835471) Homepage Journal

          That reminds me of a conversation I was having with my brother about how much we hated our toilet because you always ended up touching the bowl. A friend of ours walked in on this and said,"Really? I've never had that problem." At which point we both collapsed laughing.

          People should put more thought into toilet design. :)

          • by HisMother ( 413313 ) on Monday September 01, 2008 @06:41PM (#24835633)
            Two guys peeing off a bridge. "The water's cold!" says the first. "And deep..." says the second.
            • by Covener ( 32114 ) on Monday September 01, 2008 @06:47PM (#24835687)

              Two guys peeing off a bridge. "The water's cold!" says the first. "And deep..." says the second.

              I've heard it as two Texans, and the punchline was "and the bottom sure is muddy".

            • Memo to Mr.Warshak, if the soap falls, keep on walking...

            • by Anonymous Coward on Monday September 01, 2008 @08:08PM (#24836337)

              A guy walks up to a urinal to take a piss and whips out his unit. He can't help but look over at the guy on his right, a dreadlocked Jamaican dude, and is astonished to see that he has a tattoo on his penis that says "WY".

              "Hey, we've got the same tattoo!" he says, pointing down. The Jamaican looks over, and sure enough the first guy also has "WY" tattooed on his penis.

              "Of course you can't see the whole thing," says the first guy, "when I'm, uh, at my best, it reads 'Wendy'. That's my girlfriend's name!"

              "That's cool mon, real cool" says the Jamaican dude. There is a brief pause.

              "So, what does yours say?" asks the first guy.

              "Mine says, 'Welcome to Jamaica mon, have a nice day'!"

              • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

                That's funny, I have a WY tattoo like that, but it starts off "When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary,", etc. and ends with some guy "Elbridge Gerry"'s signature. Gives yo' momma something to read for an hour, etc. etc.

            • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

              by Triv ( 181010 )

              Two guys peeing off a bridge. "The water's cold!" says the first. "And deep..." says the second.

              Give credit where it's due - that's a Richard Pryor joke [citypaper.com].

          • by witherstaff ( 713820 ) on Monday September 01, 2008 @10:11PM (#24837349) Homepage
            At my family plumbing shop a customer had us install a new Kohler toilet. The next day the client called to request a new fixture be put in. The client, an older distinguished gentleman, wouldn't give a reason at first. After a longer discussion he finally gave the reason of 'when I sit down, my testicles touch the water'. The best part? His name was Mr. Float.
          • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

            by Verteiron ( 224042 )

            Quit bitching and just knot it around your waist like the rest of us :)

        • Comment removed based on user account deletion
      • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

        by OrangeTide ( 124937 )

        The thing is that a lot of people only think they have a small penis, when they are well with in the normal range for "average". Luckily people don't normally see your penis. Women have to deal with snake oil salesmen for boob size and thinness, and it's harder to resist these charlatans when their size is apparent to everyone.
        I also blame society's preoccupation with sex. (not anything new there)

      • Re: (Score:3, Interesting)

        by sm62704 ( 957197 )

        I wish mine were smaller! There are no advantages whatever to having a big dick, and quite a few disadvantages.

        It's really gross sitting on the toilet and having it hang into the water. Some toilets were obviously designed either by women or by men with small penises. It's hard ti shit whan you have to be careful keeping your dick dry.

        A big cock is harder it get in, especially if she's got an extra tight vagina. If she's got a really tight pussy it's likely to be uncomfortable for both. As Mojo Nixon put in

    • Re:Snake Oil (Score:5, Insightful)

      by Joe Tie. ( 567096 ) on Monday September 01, 2008 @06:18PM (#24835387)
      To be fair, we're living in one of the few times in human history when typical snake oil claims 'can' be real. There actually are drugs that can decrease wrinkles, increase hair growth, or keep you awake when you should be asleep. I can't blame people quite as much for not understanding how to do proper research on something, or knowing signs of a scam.
      • Re:Snake Oil (Score:5, Interesting)

        by dubl-u ( 51156 ) * <2523987012 AT pota DOT to> on Monday September 01, 2008 @07:14PM (#24835909)

        I can't blame people quite as much for not understanding how to do proper research on something, or knowing signs of a scam.

        Further, we here at Slashdot, who are probably biased heavily to the educated, analytical, and practical, will always see through more of the scams. A scam artist in it for the money only has incentive to improve things to the point where it fools enough of the population to get money.

        Not only do they have no need to make their scam better, but there's probably a disincentive. If I got scammed on something, I'd be livid, and I'd have the time, money, and skills to try to get the cops involved. Going after the bottom quartile is not only easier, but probably safer.

        • Re:Snake Oil (Score:5, Insightful)

          by ScrewMaster ( 602015 ) on Monday September 01, 2008 @07:26PM (#24835983)
          If I got scammed on something, I'd be livid, and I'd have the time, money, and skills to try to get the cops involved.

          If I got scammed, I'd be mad at myself.

          That said, I'd still go to the cops.
          • Re:Snake Oil (Score:4, Insightful)

            by lysergic.acid ( 845423 ) on Monday September 01, 2008 @08:33PM (#24836525) Homepage

            life is all about learning from experience. everyone makes mistakes at some point in their life. you just hope that as you get older, you start making them less often. so i wouldn't blame the victim for being scammed.

            however, i do get frustrated with people who continue to give business to spam sites or fall for classic e-mail scams. if people would just wise up then we wouldn't have such a big problem with junk/spam e-mails anymore. i think that's one particular case of a small group of stupid people ruining things for everyone else.

          • Re: (Score:3, Interesting)

            by kabocox ( 199019 )

            If I got scammed on something, I'd be livid, and I'd have the time, money, and skills to try to get the cops involved.

            If I got scammed, I'd be mad at myself.
            That said, I'd still go to the cops.

            When I finally start up selling snake oil or religion for profit ala Ron Hubbard, I'm going to have to use exercise as a condition for rewards to the after life or for what ever the snake oil is to activate. If you haven't been properly exercising daily for the past month, my snake oil won't work on you. If you haven'

        • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

          by cherokee158 ( 701472 )

          Further, we here at Slashdot, who are probably biased heavily to the educated, analytical, and practical, will always see through more of the scams.

          ...because we here at Slashdot never fall for bogus news articles, inflated claims by hardware manufacturers, or the promise of yet another best programming language ever.

          • The $49.99 deposit that I put down on Duke Nukem Forever was money well spent. And the fact that those were superior 1990 dollars just makes me more 1337 than those of you who will pay with 2012 dollars (or Euros, if 3D Realms refuses to accept dollars)!
      • by Moraelin ( 679338 ) on Monday September 01, 2008 @07:27PM (#24835993) Journal

        Well, that is partially true, but a lot of those are borderline scams too. Or, as marketing likes to call it, "creative puffering."

        What I don't understand, though, is the insecurity about being within the normal parameters for your species. Let's face it, the human species just doesn't have the DNA for huge penises, nor a vagina design which would require one. Unless you were planning to fuck a mare, I guess. Last I've heard most women find over 7-8 inches outright uncomfortable. And most of the nerve endings are on the outside and first third of the vagina, so basically, if there was a modification to keep her happier, it would be girth, rather than length.

        Even most of the male porn stars with huge "tools", had surgery to that end.

        So, seriously, it seems to me just about as stupid as if, I dunno, I were to get upset because I don't have feet as big as the clowns. It wouldn't be an improvement to walk, but, boy, I wanna be above average. I wanna be like those clowns too. 'Cause you know what they say about men with big feet. (They need big shoes ;)

        I mean, seriously, when and how did the penis size obsession get started anyway? (Including all the stupidities that serve as substitute penis size symbols.) Did marketing just manage to make half the male population insecure and unhappy about being normal human beings? And we still think that marketing is a _good_ thing then?

        That said, I find it ironic, but nevertheless a good lesson in that this company required a doctor's affidavit that you have a small penis, to get your money back. Because unless someone was well below the normal size for a human, they didn't need to have it extended in the first place. I would have required a notarized declaration along the lines of "yes, I'm an idiot and insecure about being a normal human", but I guess their version is good too.

        • by maxume ( 22995 ) on Monday September 01, 2008 @07:46PM (#24836143)

          Once, the first man was born. Later, his brother was born and they had a pissing contest.

          Marketers are happy to exploit this behavior, but they sure as hell didn't create or cause it.

        • by sjames ( 1099 ) on Monday September 01, 2008 @08:47PM (#24836637) Homepage Journal

          I mean, seriously, when and how did the penis size obsession get started anyway?

          Apparently, it's not at all limited to modern western society. Tribal dress designed to make the penis seem larger as well as tribal and primitive art depicting gods and kings with rather large penises.

          OTOH, having marketing play on insecurities of every sort is somewhat more recent. I do wonder about the sociological and psychological effects of having an entire society being told repeatedly that they are inadequate and their lives incomplete without various products.

          • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

            by Brickwall ( 985910 )
            Tribal dress designed to make the penis seem larger as well as tribal and primitive art depicting gods and kings with rather large penises.

            Chinese woman bound their feet for centuries because small feet were deemed attractive. I remember pictures of African tribes where the women either wore rings to stretch their necks because long necks were considered attractive, or wore hoops to extend their bottom lips. And didn't Elizabethan men wear enormous "codpieces" to make themselves appear larger?

            Nothing e

        • by Penguinisto ( 415985 ) on Monday September 01, 2008 @09:08PM (#24836803) Journal

          Not quite (on the DNA point)... humans IIRC have the largest genital-to-body-mass ratio of any primate.

          Otherwise, I hold forth the theory that the whole penis size thing was secretly started by women who resented being judged by their breast sizes.

          /P

    • Re:Snake Oil (Score:5, Insightful)

      by Renraku ( 518261 ) on Monday September 01, 2008 @06:23PM (#24835443) Homepage

      Its easy to get people to believe something they want as opposed to something they don't.

      Trying to convince the religious that their religion is a sham is next to impossible.
      Trying to convince the poor that they can become rich overnight is easy.

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      How do people suspend their critical thinking enough to believe these things?

      Two letters: T.V.

    • Re:Snake Oil (Score:5, Informative)

      by TheRealMindChild ( 743925 ) on Monday September 01, 2008 @06:24PM (#24835461) Homepage Journal
      The nasty trick in this game is that they offer a free sample... all you do is pay like $1.95 for shipping, which MUST be paid for by credit card. "Not bad" they think. "The worst that could happen is it doesn't work and I'm out a couple of dollars" they say. Sure. It sounds reasonable. By that time, you are already screwed. See, when you open your package of wonder, it comes with an "informational" booklet that is actually more like an advertisement for their other products. Almost everyone just throws it out. But in the middle of the 13th page, between two paragraphs that have nothing to do with it, is a statement saying "By ordering this sample, you agree to become part of an automatic plan in which we send you a new supply every month and charge your credit card. If you do not agree to this, you must cancel this agreement by calling 1-800-Screwed-U"

      A lot of this seems like a dramatic embellishment. It isn't. Obviously the quotes aren't exact and the phone number isn't really what I listed (explanation for the humor impaired), this is how it works. By the time you realize that you are on some automatic plan to get crap that didn't do as advertised in the first place, they have already charged you for two months supply. And you can not return it under any circumstances.

      Disclaimer: I worked with a guy that sued Berkeley Nutraceuticals.
      • By ordering this sample, you agree to become part of an automatic plan in which we send you a new supply every month and charge your credit card.

        This is the old "eleven albums for a penny" scam you used to see in old comic books.

        • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

          by dpreviti ( 442446 )

          Columbia house isn't a scam at least not at the level of this a-hole. My Wife got sucked into his brain pills which of course didn't work. She tried to cancel only to have her bank account sent into negative numbers by this company who repeatedly dunned her even after they said they wouldn't.

          As to the (Columbia House) 11 albums deal that is totally owned if you can do a little simple math. There is even a forum dedicated to getting the best deals from this offer.

          http://forum.dvdtalk.com/forumdisplay.php?for [dvdtalk.com]

    • by PachmanP ( 881352 ) on Monday September 01, 2008 @06:26PM (#24835479)
      Interestingly enough, I actually sell a product made from cobra oil that will enhance your maleness. And it works! Just look at how much this guy over here's wife smiles!*





      *Well hung pool boy not included
    • by Trepidity ( 597 )

      A lot of people start out somewhat but not completely skeptical, think "hmm I'll try a few and see", and think they see signs of it working so get sold.

      Of course, this should be harder with something like penis enlargement where in theory you could actually measure it. It's a lot easier explanation for why things like homeopathic sleep aids work, because falling asleep is a very placebo-susceptible sort of thing.

      And of course, it's not just snake-oil salesmen: a large portion of modern "lifestyle" pharmaceu

      • 'Of course, this should be harder with something like penis enlargement where in theory you could actually measure it.'

        The product contains herbs that increase bloodflow to the penis and thus make it easier to get a raging boner.

        It isn't soft size that you measure, its erect size, and the harder it is (ie the more blood in it) the bigger it is. If you are at your fullest potential every time you will seem to be larger.

        This is more like Viagra than Penis enlargement. You don't this or extenze or anything of

    • Airborne (Score:4, Informative)

      by TheMeuge ( 645043 ) on Monday September 01, 2008 @06:45PM (#24835673)

      They use the same thought process that they use before they purchase "Airborne".

      As a medical scientist, I cannot help but cringe any time I walk through the cashier aisle of a drug store, that is inundated with glorified sugar pills that claim to do anything from giving you more energy, to curing sleeplessness, to providing you with more stamina in bed, curing cancer or getting you pregnant (*the last couple may have been made up).

    • Re:Snake Oil (Score:4, Informative)

      by clarkkent09 ( 1104833 ) on Monday September 01, 2008 @06:46PM (#24835681)
      Just google the name of just about any product on late night infomercials + scam. Typically in minutes you can find out how the scam operates. Simple ones seem to be the most common, i.e. give a "free" sample and get their credit card details for a small shipping charge or whatever, and once you have their credit card details you can pretty much go crazy with it. First you hope the don't notice the extra charges, then if they do notice good luck finding a phone number that someone actually answers, finally you can always say they ordered stuff over the phone that they didn't. Works for computer lessons, various "health" products (more embarrassing the problem the better), lessons on getting rich with real estate etc.

      Frankly, you do have to be a bit of an idiot not to see the scam from a mile away, but just because you're an idiot doesn't make it ok for those guys to defraud you. Good to see a long prison sentence for one of those jerks, hopefully that friendly bold guy who teaches you "how to run the computer" will be next.
    • How do people suspend their critical thinking enough to believe these things?

      Do not blame the victims, for they face an age old physiological problem that cannot be overcome; that when blood is rerouted from the head above the waist to the one below, no critical thinking is even remotely feasible.

    • Women are insanely insecure about their bodies. I've known a lot of great looking women who are perfectly fine and they all have body image issues. Some so bad they're afraid to be seen in public in swim suits or sports bra's.

      And by "perfectly fine" I mean body's that are athletic and toned, but aren't that Maxim perfect tone you see in the magazines.

      Men are just as insecure, but we care about our penis size and our sexual prowess. Hence all the viagra and penis enlargment spam on the internet.

      It's really p

  • Prison (Score:5, Funny)

    by dopaz ( 148229 ) on Monday September 01, 2008 @06:11PM (#24835327) Homepage

    Perhaps his enzyte-enlarged member will make him the big man in prison.

  • Prison (Score:5, Funny)

    by mrbah ( 844007 ) on Monday September 01, 2008 @06:12PM (#24835339)
    I'm sure he can't wait to meet some of his satisfied customers in prison. Except now, he'll be the one notifying his doctor about erections lasting longer than 4 hours.
  • totally unfair (Score:4, Insightful)

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday September 01, 2008 @06:16PM (#24835363)

    So he has to go to prison, and his 75 y/o mom stays free? Screw that! put her wrinkly ass in the pen too.

  • by moehoward ( 668736 ) on Monday September 01, 2008 @06:17PM (#24835377)

    If you have the balls, but not the penis, to ask for the refund, go for it.

    Not that I ever used their products...

  • Question: (Score:3, Funny)

    by larry bagina ( 561269 ) on Monday September 01, 2008 @06:19PM (#24835399) Journal
    Why is this news for nerds, stuff that matters? Maybe ScuttleMonkey has a small penis and wasted money on these pills?
    • Why is this news for nerds, stuff that matters?

      It's actually "news for nerds, size that matters." But not really. We all know that size doesn't matter, but getting out of the basement *does matter*.

    • Is J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, the icon of the Church of the SubGenius [subgenius.com] and a fixture on the Internet as long as there's been one. Many are the followers of the SubGenius.

      This huckster's appropriation of Smilin' Bob for his advertising is itself subtle worship and as such, could be protected speech. Of course getting caught is a cardinal sin in the huckster's ethos so perhaps he's excommunicated.

      In protest we should all donate to Rev. Magdalen's Legal defense fund [modemac.com] because she's worth it even if this twerp isn't.

  • by nickswitzer ( 1352967 ) on Monday September 01, 2008 @06:28PM (#24835505) Homepage

    She had pleaded with the judge not to send her to prison. "I have grandchildren," she said. "The time I have left, I'd like to spend with them. I don't think it's fair to take me away from them."

    I don't understand how it matters that she has grandchildren or how old she may be. She was convicted of fraud and other crimes, so the law she punish her the same.

    • by jesdynf ( 42915 )

      Meh. I could see it either way.

      The key here is what most benefits The People. There aren't really any gains to paying for her incarceration. Are we not setting a tough enough /example/? Is there some need to deter copycats from contracting cancer to avoid punishment?

      I don't know of any punishment the court could exact that would make someone less likely to commit crimes of this nature in the future -- the nature of the malefactor is that they don't think they'll get caught -- and vengeance for its sake does

      • Re: (Score:2, Insightful)

        by volxdragon ( 1297215 )

        I once got a speeding ticket. The total cost, including the lawyer to get it pead down, the court costs, and the ticket cost me a whopping $110. Of that, $10 was the ticket. $10. That's it. What did I learn from this whole episode? Speeding doesn't matter because the punishment was so pathetic that it was worth it. Do I still speed? No, but that's because I now have a wife and kids to think about, but it most CERTAINLY wasn't because the penalty was any sort of a deterant. Make punishments actually

  • by RyanFenton ( 230700 ) on Monday September 01, 2008 @06:30PM (#24835515)

    For as long as there's been culture, there's always been con men. It's always a sensitive balance for a society to decide how much fraud to allow to go on, and what to call fraud. From countless iterations of fortune tellers, to confidence schemes, to games of chance, to plain old commercial advertising, there have always been the grey areas where the clever can take from the gullible, but find ways to avoid the usual punishments for theft or fraud.

    Most societies find ways to prevent too much subjective productivity from being lost to these schemes, but sometimes more than just public awareness is needed to counter the effects of such large scale con jobs. In the 1950's, there were bunco squads, or sections of the police force organized to find common fraud, such as fortune tellers, rigged games, confidence swindles, and the like. I think we could use more of those today - law enforcement devoted to tracking down leads on swindlers for the public interest. Skeptical communities and movements are nice - but very few people are really interested in learning how scams work before they're fooled by them, and it seems there's always a multiplying number of desperate swindlers looking to fool more folks out of money while hiding from consequences.

    Ryan Fenton

    • by TheRealMindChild ( 743925 ) on Monday September 01, 2008 @06:58PM (#24835771) Homepage Journal
      I think we could use more of those today - law enforcement devoted to tracking down leads on swindlers for the public interest

      Sorry man. Those resource are gone... to fight the war on drugs.
      • by RyanFenton ( 230700 ) on Monday September 01, 2008 @07:07PM (#24835877)

        Indeed - and the war on drugs itself, I would define as a confidence scheme. Why? Because the only way people believe it's working and paying off is because of the words of those enforcing it. Meanwhile, those enforcing the war on drugs don't count the lost productivity of those jailed for minor drug charges, and can claim that every arrest saves countless productivity, and can claim, just by throwing an unlimited number of people in jail, that they're making society more productive without limit. It's a complete scam that's stealing a very large portion of America's resources mostly to feed and perpetuate its own existence, while not actually doing much to actually fight the more destructive aspects of drug use in our culture.

        I'm saying this as a guy who, like Penn Gillete, has never used any illegal drugs, nor even drank anything more than a sip of an alchoholic beverage. I personally hate the idea of a substance changing the way my mind works, and love consciousness itself too much to want to mess with it - but I know a broken system when I see it, and see the "war on drugs" as a completely broken method of fixing our nation's problems with drug usage.

        Ryan Fenton

        • Re: (Score:2, Flamebait)

          by cdrguru ( 88047 )

          I agree that the "war on drugs" isn't doing much to reduce the problem below current levels. But, it is my belief that after seeing plenty of people addicted to drugs in one form or another that removing what controls exist today on it would give many more people the justification to use drugs. There is a small group that really cares that they are illegal and without that, they would gladly use whatever was available.

          So what do we do? Education? The problem is that we are fighting "escapism" in general

    • In the 1950's, there were bunco squads, or sections of the police force organized to find common fraud, such as fortune tellers, rigged games, confidence swindles, and the like. I think we could use more of those today - law enforcement devoted to tracking down leads on swindlers for the public interest. Skeptical communities and movements are nice - but very few people are really interested in learning how scams work before they're fooled by them, and it seems there's always a multiplying number of desperate swindlers looking to fool more folks out of money while hiding from consequences.

      Ryan Fenton

      Now those resources go to protect the extremely rich from poor people who might download music without paying for it.

  • With the company... (Score:2, Interesting)

    by glitch23 ( 557124 )
    still in business that means we still have to see the stupid Smilin' Bob commercials? Or worse, will they think of another stupid ad campaign to try to drum up more business and soften (no pun intended) the blow of the $500 million forfeiture?
  • Months ago... (Score:3, Insightful)

    by AdmNaismith ( 937672 ) on Monday September 01, 2008 @06:39PM (#24835613)
    ...it was shown that this stuff doesn't do anything. It's just a combination of every herbal 'aphrodisiac' in one pill. I admired the ads early on because they were so cheeky and it otherwise looked like a 'legitimate' pharmaceutical. Shortly after that they just became annoying. Besides, when you can get something like this without a prescription, over-the-counter (or worse, by TV mail-order) you must understand that it will not do anything useful.
    • ...it was shown that this stuff doesn't do anything.

      Personally I thought the ads were completely hilarious - a wink and a nod from Smilin' Bob that yes, it's a scam but let's have fun with it. I am sitting here shocked they raised anywhere in the neighborhood of a half a billion dollars.

      The folks who sent their money? No sympathy. Sorry. None. Launching your lawyer because you missed the joke is a great way to turn a happy prank into just another sad day in court.

  • by Phantom Gremlin ( 161961 ) on Monday September 01, 2008 @06:45PM (#24835677)

    No parole. Maybe 20 years with time off for "good behavior".

    This guy got more prison time than Jeff Skilling of Enron fame. And Enron's collapse cost a lot of people some serious coin.

    • Re: (Score:2, Insightful)

      And more time than Hans Reiser (15 to life means he'll be out in 10).
    • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

      by Jaime2 ( 824950 )
      I was on a federal court jury a few years ago. The judge explained to us that in the federal judicial system, there is no such thing as parole. If you get sentenced to 25, you do 25.
  • by Anonymous Coward on Monday September 01, 2008 @06:55PM (#24835731)

    Great guy, heard some really hilarious stories about the company...grandma winning employee of the month on numerous occasions. Groups of employees taking product at work just for "fun". He told me his uncle said they sell confidence in a bottle and nothing more! The dood always had plenty of money and never went to class, but 500 million...damn!

  • by coaxial ( 28297 ) on Monday September 01, 2008 @07:44PM (#24836119) Homepage

    Among their most egregious offenses was a requirement of a Notarized statement from a doctor certifying that they had a small penis. Amazingly, remarkably few customers availed themselves of the refund offer.

    "Sorry, but do to a supply chain issue, we can not fulfill your order. Here's your refund, courtesy of The Anal Sex and Fetish Perversion Company [snopes.com]."

  • 25 years? (Score:5, Interesting)

    by bigbird ( 40392 ) on Monday September 01, 2008 @08:35PM (#24836539) Homepage

    That's an amazingly long time in prison for scamming people. He would have got less if he sold legitimate drugs that occasionally killed people.

    No wonder American prisons are overflowing. Why not make him empty bedpans in retirement homes or some other yucky community service for a few years instead?

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