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"Iron Chef": The Movie? 70

Posted by Hemos
from the color-me-disturbed dept.
imac.usr writes "Well, Coming Attractions never lies. Coming soon to a theater near you. Be sure to follow their link to the Lego Chef as well on iFilm." Words escape me.
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"Iron Chef": The Movie?

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  • by Anonymous Coward
    That was the Swedish Chef you fool...

    BORK BORK BORK!
  • by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 02, 2001 @03:04PM (#460546)
    Hemos: Words escape me

    Yes, Hemos, they typically do.
  • I would have to say the one that amazed me most was the asparagus battle.

    Take more lobster than you can shake a stick at, crush them (shells and all), lay them in the bottom of a pan, lay down a linen towel, lay 5 pieces of asparagus on that, fold the towel over, and fill the rest of the pan with crushed lobster.

    bake.

    Take it out of the oven, and throw away the lobster!!!

    All that just to flavor the asparagus with lobster. Now *that* is insane.

    God I love this show. :)


    1st Law Of Networking: Loose ends are bad, termination is good.

  • What about matrix effects swinging around the chopping knife...flying food bits...

    I can dream....

  • Who the hell rated this "Informative"?! Moderators, please check your drugs at the door.

    Zontar The Mindless,

  • Guess that means don't even drive down a mountain with a truck behind you. It keeps applying it breaks to slow down the breaks blow and it comes barreling down at you. Meanwhile you keep going at the same speed and get smashed by the truck.

    Hard speed limits are not good since there are many situations in which you have to move faster to be safe.
  • The funniest movie ever made is an Iron Chef parody, the God of Cookery. I can't recommend this movie enough for any nerd.

    -m

  • "You have to cook good food fast!"

    Maybe they should put them up against Waffle House Cooks. I bet they couldn't top hash browns that are 'scattered, smothered and covered."

  • That's the episode that pretty much convinced me that he had to be gay. I mean, did you see his facial expressions while hiding there? Geez.

    ...but I like it. Strange.
  • The film rights for the Fuji International TV show were picked up a couple of years ago and a script by Jeff Eastin (True Lies 2, Shasta McNasty)

    Really, there was a True Lies 2? Never even heard of it.

    OK, now back to Becker (The Lost Episode).
  • This leads me to an interesting idea. How about a remake of the New York episode of Iron Chef.

    We open with an ominous shot of the darkened kitchen stadium. The camera slowly crawls its way along the kitchen counters. James Earl Jones provides the narration:
    For years Kitchen Stadium has been a bastion of Japanese culinary arts. Here tradition has been married to innovation as they struggle to guide an age old custom into the twenty first century. This is a land of honor and stoic struggle.
    And today we loudmouth Americans are going to open a can of whupass on those foreign bastards.

    Now we cut away to a high speed Mtv style montage of New York City intermixed with bartenders doing silly tricks with botttles and Emeril going 'Bam'. After a suitably driving techno beat builds up to fever pitch, we close in on that guy from the boxing matchs yelling "Let's get ready to RRRRRUUUUMMMBBBLLLLEEE".

    Next shot, interior of kitchen stadium. The stands are packed with screaming american fans. Some imported dutcg soccer hooligans are hitting on the clueless Japanese actress in the judging booth. They start to do the wave. The normally reserved Iron Chefs are visibly disturbed by the noise and commotion. Except for the curiously stoic Iron Chef Hong Kong. Wait, Iron Chef Hong Kong? Who could that be? Why its Jet Li. And Jet doesn't like loud, disrespectful fans in kitchen stadium. He proceeds to make his displeasure known, in ways that only Mr. Li can.
    He plucks a live squid from the seafood tank. A few wild whirls of wicked whipping tentacles and several fans are going to be pissing black ink for the next few weeks. Emiril Lagasse leaps from the stands to come to the defense of a soon to be defenestrated David Rosengarten only to find himself on the recieving end of the razor sharp edge of a cluster of Japanese War Seaweed. Emeril will Bam! no more.
    Sneaking behind Jet is the treacherous she-cook from Hades: Martha Stewart. It seems that she's got the drop on him. Little does she know that that was no clueless ingenue in the judging panel. It was HK movie star and protecter of Asian Cooking Shows the world over Michelle Yeoh. Before the Mistress of Affordable KMart Housewares knows what has happened, Yeoh rains down a storm of Wustoff-Trident death on the housemaking maven. The finely tempered German knives pierce Martha's lungs, killing her instantly.
    A hush settles over the survivorsa of the crowd. Only Bobby Flay is unharmed on the Western side of the conflict. Iron Chef Japan Masaharu Morimoto stands before him, his hand on the sword at his side. (Who knew Wustoff-Trident made katanas, too). A thin bead of sweat makes its way down Flay's quivering face. Morimoto adresses the once cocky now urine soaked cook. He says: A true chef does not disrespect his stove by standing on it. Now the blade flies from its sheath. Now Flay dies.
    Fade to Black.

  • I saw those and what was weird was that shiny expensive refrig had no fresh vegetables in it. Mostly frozen meat condiments. I was thinking how typically american.
  • Great movie if you are going to watch it though make sure you have some noodles handy (the nice ones not the dried ramen).
  • by The Queen (56621)
    That made my Monday. Thank you!


    "I'm not a bitch, I just play one on /."
  • by TrevorB (57780) on Friday February 02, 2001 @02:57PM (#460560) Homepage
    Just get the same crew who did Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to do the special effects. Or at least the intro.

    I can see Chen Kenichi flying through mid air attacking Morimoto holding his blowtorch...
  • by adjensen (58676) on Friday February 02, 2001 @03:26PM (#460561)
    Well, I don't know about that. The dude from San Francisco won (and is featured prominently in the opening sequence,) while all the Japanese guys that the Ohta faction kept sending after Morimota kept getting their collective asses kicked. Granted, the Iron Chefs win an awful lot, but they do have "home kitchen" advantage, and given the "save face" mentality of the Japanese culture, I would suspect that in most cases, judges throw ties to the Iron Chef.

    Remember the episode where Kaga boycotted because the ICs had lost three in a row?
  • Unfortunately, if you don't have Food Network, you're SOL. You can always petition your cable provider. :)
    I went over to a friends house last weekend to watch Iron Chef because he assured me he had Food Network. He ends up scanning through all 500 channels of his digital cable to finally say, "Oops, thought we had it."
    We resigned ourselves to watching "The Matrix" on HBO.
  • I thought Kaga boycotted that episode because it was a collective 3-9 losing streak, or something to that effect. I remember vaguely hearing the reason.
    Of course, it was totally dramatic since near the end, the announcer was like, "We have a report that Chairman Kaga is somewhere hiding in the studio!" Then the cameraman showed Kaga hiding behind a pillar, peeking at the competitors, holding a glass of wine.
    When they announced that the IC won, he took a careful, grateful sip of his wine, almost overjoyed that the IC had won. Great acting... lol
  • by Fanmail (61003) on Friday February 02, 2001 @03:28PM (#460564)
    For those of you interested in seeing Iron Chef now, go to Food Network [foodtv.com]. It has the upcoming episode's time and ingredient. Enjoy.
  • by sconeu (64226) on Friday February 02, 2001 @03:15PM (#460565) Homepage Journal

    Beowulf Clusters!
  • I'd have to agree. God of Cookery is a... wacky... film to say the least. There's nothing like bad acting with bad translation to get you excited about foreign films.
  • I can't seem to see the movies of Lego Chef. Does anyone know of a mirror of the movies? I know that iFilm has a registration requirement but I seem to be blocked from the site as a whole. Dang filtering at work...

  • Heh, easily one of the best episodes, just for the sake of watching the Iron Chef who was competing screaming, "He is not a real chef!" in a bloody rage at the dude for jumping up on his cutting board. They really do take that shit seriously. That said, I don't know about that movie; from the description, it sounds like its going to be a goofball flick using a pop culture icon as a backdrop to a lame story, like Ready To Rumble or Detroit Rock City.

    Deosyne
  • by Ikari Gendou (93109) on Friday February 02, 2001 @03:20PM (#460570)
    I'm having seriously horrible flashbacks to the waste of celluloid that was the US Godzilla.
    I can already see visions of bastardized american versions of the IC's:

    Iron Chef Hamburger

    Iron Chef BBQ

    Iron Chef Vegitarian
    And the mysterious 4th Iron Chef...

    Iron Chef Leftovers

    So who would you cast to play the Iron Chefs, if you couldn't get the real thing?

  • For anyone wondering, you can find the set of Lego's used in this film here. [lego.com]
  • Ooh, that's not a good idea... I don't think I could watch someone eat steamed squid brains with a side of cow intestines while blitzed.. Ugh.

    S'cuse me while I go hurl....

    Shayne

  • My take on the Iron Chefs' impressive winning percentages, which range from mid-60s to mid-80s depending on the chef, is two-fold. First, the Iron Chefs know the Kitchen Stadium. For the challenger, it is the first time they have cooked in that environment. Secondly, the Iron Chefs will have a better feel for what the judges like, especially some of the judges who are on the show frequently, such as Kurimoto and Kanoh.
  • Actually, it's not Ron Siegel who appears in the opening montage. According to ironchef.com, it is Phillip Baton, who was in Battle Bacon in 1996.
  • Although there have been rumors flying around the past few months that Time Warner has purchased the rights to Iron Chef (one rumor saying TW bought the rights to the past catalog of shows, another saying TW bought the rights to the show's format in order to produce an American Iron Chef), I don't think an official announcement has been made about an actual purchase.
  • Nope, you can only find Iron Chef on Food Network. If you want to go the satellite dish route, Food Network is available on DirecTV and probably Dish Network as well. However, be warned that there are only 11 more episodes of Iron Chef left for FoodTV to air. They may have bought the rights to the pre-Morimoto shows and will start airing them when the reach the end of the series, but no one knows except FoodTV, and they ain't talking.
  • Iron Chef was around about three years before God of Cookery, so IC could not be based on God of Cookery.
  • Better than watching Iron Chef while drunk: watching Iron Chef while getting drunk!

    http://www.wpi.edu/~riffraff/irongame.html [wpi.edu]
    http://www.ironchef.com/irongame.shtml [ironchef.com]

    God does not play dice with the universe. Albert Einstein

  • err, weekend.

    ...

    Slashdot requires you to wait 1 minute between each submission of /comments.pl in order to allow everyone to have a fair chance to post.

    It's been 1 minute since your last submission!


    --
  • I saw The Chinese Feast [imdb.com] on the International Channel over the weekends, or at least parts of it. The subtitles were hard to follow and I kept leaving (the International Channel doesn't have normal commercial breaks), but the opening battle was great and I found it to be rather funny.

    I don't know about God of Cookery, but if it was definitely worth the title of "Iron Movie".

    --
  • I really used to like "Iron Chef". It was grand theatre more than anything else, but certainly entertaining.

    Then the "cease and desist" letters from the Iron Chef lawyers to the fansites came, and I have not watched it since. I really should tune it in so I can find out who the sponsors are and let them know I'm boycotting them as well, but I just don't want to waste my precious time.

    As far as I'm concerned, "Iron Chef" committed seppuku with those C&D lawyer-letters. They became popular thru the concentrated efforts of a few individual fans in the states, and then Fuji TV stabbed their own fan-promoters in the back.

    Fuck 'em. I've got no time for jerks like these.
  • >There is already a movie king of about Iron Chef

    This isn't entirely accurate. God of Cookery is a parody of an earlier movie, God of Gambling. In fact, it's a parody of a whole bunch of movies (most of which I haven't seen). The cooking styles are parodies of classical martial arts moves. The translation was pretty clever at times. They managed to adapt some puns in Chinese to puns in English.

    Iron Chef is based on the cooking show in God of Cookery, so this new movie would be a spinoff of a spinoff of a spinoff.

  • I once sat in on a friend's Japanese class and they watched that movie. I'm not entirely sure why a bunch of those scenes had anything to do with anything else, but I sure learned a thing or two about what you can do with live shrimp.
  • The Lego Chef link was much more interesting than the original link.

    Not to say it won't be a funny movie, but hey: given the choice between legos now and a movie later, what would you chose? ;)
  • >For a real treat, watch Iron Chef while drunk.

    I'll drink to that! We had a NYE party at a friend's house and he had the IC marathon on.

    I'd seen this show a couple of times and didn't really get it. Made a lot more sense watching it totally blitzed.
  • mmm....

    seaweed and giant eels, yum!

    I liked the one with the 5000-yen a pound beef.

    that 'fortune teller' woman they have on the panel sometimes is a riot. "this meat is very tough"
  • Iron Chef SoyMeatSubstitute!

    --
  • Watch out...AOL Time Warner has the right to make a US TV version of IC...they bought it from Fuji-TV for serious bucks.

    Oh yeah, and the premise of the threatened Columbia movie is as follows: "Can a short-order cook rise from the grills of obscurity to defeat the legendary Iron Chef? He'll soon find out amidst a battlefield of heated stove-top burners."

    Sounds about as appetizing as a Natto sundae...


    ----
    http://www.msgeek.org/ -- Because you can't keep a geek grrl down!

  • by vandelais (164490) on Friday February 02, 2001 @02:53PM (#460590)
    Hyurde furhy Slasha dota Bork Bork Bork!!!
  • They are blocking Opera from the Web site...

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    Gues the movies gonna suck then...
  • by tie_guy_matt (176397) on Friday February 02, 2001 @03:14PM (#460592)
    I am not sure if he always wins because he is a better chef or not. I think the judges shouldn't be allowed to know whose food they are eating. Also it seems that while the judges are all Japanese sometimes the Iron chef's opponent isn't. Could it be that this gives the Iron chef an advantage? If nothing else he knows how to cook for the pallete of people from Japan. Anyway he wins so often that sometimes I wonder if it is fixed. The time limit is interesting though. You have to cook good food fast!
  • He did supposedly boycott because the IC's had lost six in a row. Of course, when they showed him later, he looked like hell, which makes me think he'd just been really ill and couldn't do the speaking part.

    The IC's do have a very good record, and they probably do have an advantage - after all they're recognizeable and their food is fairly famous in Japan - finding totally impartial judges would be difficult. But the show really isn't about who wins or loses - it's about the food. Oh, the food.

    Except for the cod soft roe ice cream. That was disgusting. Got Milt?

    ----

  • First of all, why would Kaga (the fictitious bored millionaire who constructed Kitchen Stadium for his amusement) have only pretty-good chefs as the Iron Chefs? These guys are the tops of their field. To win fame in Kitchen Stadium you don't get it by defeating the short order cook from Denny's. Second, if the Iron Chef didn't win consistently, he should be replaced. Third, if the Iron Chef didn't win consistently, it would be pointless to call the show Iron Chef.
  • Hemos [slashdot.org] starring?
  • All I can say is Tampopo

    I bet no Iron Chef movie can match those sex scenes :-)

  • While I agree that I'm sure it gives the iron chefs a slight advantage knowing the judge's tastes, go to a genre/style-inspecific cooking competition in any given country... guess who the judges are? People from that country. While it shouldn't be your only goal, it's part of your job/responsibility to know what the judges like/dislike, too.

    In a cooking competition that does not limit the competitor to any specific genre/style of cuisine, the ethnicity of the judges probably has less implications.

    I mean... deep-fried sashimi served with Peking duck and truffles, covered with white wine sauce, or some weird stuff like that -- who in the world is truly qualified for that type of dish?

    Still... it would be nice to see a non-Asian on the panel of judges to give the whole competition a bit more international credibility...
  • "It's extreme cooking for the nineties - like Julia Childs turned Sumo wrestler." [cartoonnetwork.com]

    I'll see this movie just to find out what ingredient they come up with. I just hope they have actual chefs in it. Hand doubles would really screw this up pretty bad.

    Anyhoo, I hope the screenwriter manages to do a little better than his proud Shasta McNasty heritage suggests.

  • "Also it seems that while the judges are all Japanese sometimes the Iron chef's opponent isn't."

    Um.. cause it's a Japanese show, maybe?

  • Those guys can make fried dog shit taste good.

    --
  • So do the math! There are full stats online at http://www.ironchef.com/ironstats.shtml [ironchef.com].
  • Iron Chef is a trip. Once Iron Chef stopped coming on, and the Sopranos second season was over, I had cable disconnected. (ot: it will be reinstated soon for season three!)

    If you aren't into Iron Chef yet, you simply must check it out. There's a great Iron Chef site at www.ironchef.com [ironchef.com]. See their great FAQ [ironchef.com] if you're new to it.

    For a real treat, watch Iron Chef while drunk.

  • There was already a great Iron Chef-inspired film: Stephen Chiao's hilarious 1996 God of Cookery, which is available on VHS [amazon.com] and DVD [amazon.com]. I had the good fortune to see it on the big screen, where its stylish visuals really shine. Iron Chef fans need to check it out--the source material is parodied very well.
  • Have they ever even seen this show? I mean it's far out but I don't think this as a comedy would have a leg to stand on.
  • There's no way I'd see this movie unless they have the Iron Chef compete with...

    Natalie Portman.

    Sorry. If it hadn't already been said in 100 comments, it had to be said now.

  • There was an Iron Chef Special: the door-knocking Iron Chef.

    They knocked at an "average person's door" and used the contents of his/her fridge as the theme ingredient.

    Isn't that "Iron chef Leftovers"?
  • Will they have the French Shef from the Muppets do a cameo appearance??

    The simplest act of surrealism is to walk out into the street, gun in hand, and shoot at random
  • Iron Chef Leftovers was already done, by the actual Iron Chef.

    A year or so ago, when the Iron Chef show went to New York so Bobby Flay could prove once and for all what an utter dick he is, they made a few detours at Food Network's behest.

    One of them sent one of the the ICs off with Gordon Elliot (not to be confused with Gordon Bennett, who IMO would make a better houseguest) to film an episode of the FN show where FN knocks on an unsuspecting victim's front door and insists on cooking dinner with whatever is in the house.

    Of course, they don't go to the Bronx. They go to some gated community in the 'burbs where the steel-clad fridge is loaded with goodies. But the Iron Chef did do the deed on their leftovers. Looked pretty good, too.

    --Blair
  • I liked the one with the 5000-yen a pound beef.

    I was transfixed by the one with the $200-a-pound bean sprouts

    --Blair
    "This is absolutely true." - Dave Barry
  • this show rules! i've seen, like, one episode recently, and it remains emblazoned in memory ...

    THIRTY-YEAR-OLD GIANT LOBSTER! big as dogs, i tell you. it was Iron Chef Italian vs. some upstart chef. actually, the ICI's opponent had some credibility -- he was in residence at the restaurant that *invented* sweet & sour pork with pineapple chunks (i dunno if they patented it ;) ). anyway, ICI started in on some bizarre lobster-butt-wrapped-with-bacon dish, and all the contender could come up with was ... sweet and sour *lobster* with pineapple chunks!

    ... needless to say, ICI's honor emerged unscathed.

    i noticed kind of a "bob ross" effect while watching this momentous cookery unfold -- i was on the edge of my seat waiting for ICI to screw up his outlandish dish ("he can't possibly put more lobster-butt in that ... deep-frying? is he mad?!"). [bob ross, of course, being the famous, now-deceased 'happy little tree' pbs painting-show guy].

    ... anyway, IRON CHEF RULES!

  • mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........... natalie.......
  • by rdejuana (312415) on Friday February 02, 2001 @03:45PM (#460613)
    There is already a movie king of about Iron Chef. Its called God Of Cookery [imdb.com]. Its a hong kong film, so its in Cantonese. It kind of the same premise as the Iron Chef movie, but in this onehe start off as the iron chef (or as they call him, god of cookery) and is dethroned and has to work his way up. If you like Iron Chef, I recommend you check it out. (If you happen to live in austin, I think vulcan video has it)
  • I totally agree. That Lego Chef was the perfect parody. Right down to the lego sets, the camera angles and even the bad dubbing. And to throw Sean Connery in as a judge...brilliance! I say make a major motion picture of Lego Chef instead!

If A = B and B = C, then A = C, except where void or prohibited by law. -- Roy Santoro

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