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Television Media

William Shatner To Host American "Iron Chef"? 109

Posted by CmdrTaco from the you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me dept.
imac.usr writes "OK, I was a little concerned when I submitted the story about the "Iron Chef" movie, but even I was unprepared for this one. This is either the best or worst idea I've heard this year; perhaps both? The main fan site also has the story. Allez Cuisine ahead full!" This has got to be kidding. If they can get Morimoto to be on it, I'll watch. Once anyway.
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William Shatner To Host American "Iron Chef"? More

William Shatner To Host American "Iron Chef"?

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  • shatner is perfect (Score:1)

    by Anonymous Coward
    Shatner is perfect for the job. After all, the current host is a sort of Japanese shatner - take a look at his bio for gods' sake! He's even recorded a few albums after an illustrious career of television series and musical theater. I have been a huge fan of the show since it was aired in Japanese only on the international channel, and got cable just for the food network (and Sopranos, of course). I went to NYC recently (well, just before Morimoto left, so not THAT recently) for the express purpose of eating the prix fixe at Nobu, prepared by the king himself. My pedigree now established, let me say this: the show is PURE CAMP. Shatner as host just proves that the show doesn't take itself any more seriously than it expects its audience to take it. Tonight's .... ingredient: Calf liver .... and! ... Macaroni. Your friend, hundertwasser@yahoo.com

  • Re:shatner eh.. (Score:1)

    by Anonymous Coward
    Klingon Iron Chefs? Hmmm... "THIS FOIE GRAS HAS NO HONOR! RAAAGH!" I'd watch that.

  • Damn it Jim, I'm a doctor not an Iron Chef (Score:1)

    by Anonymous Coward
    Top 5 reasons this rocks:

    5) double-handed axe blow across back of losing chef
    4) chef assistants dressed in red die during the battle
    3) celebrity panel always includes fortune telling Betaziod
    2) Iron chef Nelix vs. Worf in battle to the death
    1) today's theme ingredient: tribbles!

  • This has got to be kidding. (Score:3)

    by Anonymous Coward on Friday May 18, 2001 @03:52PM (#212616)
    This has got to be kidding

    Nice Grammar, Taco.

  • One thing I'm wondering is what are they going to do about the Iron Chefs themselves? Find new ones, bring over the old ones, or let Shatner bring his own?

    Iron Chef Vulcan is Sabal.
    Iron Chef Klingon is Ga'Rath.
    Iron Chef Federation is Ken Kenichi.
    and Mordal is Iron Chef Ferengi.

    Down that path lies madness. On the other hand, the road to hell is paved with melting snowballs.
  • Posted by serpens:

    Is there anything that Americans don't copy off of other cultures just because they think they can make a better version of it?
  • I sense... a bad...
    remake... coming to...
    my cable... network...
    ---
    pb Reply or e-mail; don't vaguely moderate [ncsu.edu].

  • Any takers? I'm surprised nobody has really asked this question yet. Here are my nominees:

    • Iron Chef Boyardee
    • Iron Chef Betty Crocker
    • Iron Chef Julia Childs
    • Iron Chef Dom Delouise

    Of course, since this is America, it'll probably be more along the lines of:

    • Iron Chef McDonald's
    • Iron Chef Happy Panda
    • Iron Chef KFC
    • Iron Chef Taco Bell
  • You are so right.

    I have basically given up on TV. I don't have cable and the television itself is some twenty-five years old and significantly smaller than my computer monitor. It's there so I can watch the occasional movie rental. Hell, I can't even go DVD, 'cause it'd be a crime to connect it to this P.O.S. "Electrohome" tv.

    But over the past four months, I've actually *made the effort* to watch one particular show: North of 60.

    It's set on an Indian reservation in the North-West Territories. It cuts no crap: there's a *lot* of humanity in it. It's written and played with honesty: life's a bitch when you're a status Indian ekeing it out in the North. In this show, children die, bodies are buried, cops collude with badguys, spouses cheat and lie -- it's gritty.

    It is, in my opinion, one of the best pieces of television to ever air. It's like Hillstreet Blues or Degrassi Jr. High: shows where the characters are fully-developed and absolutely human, completely capable of being good and bad at the same time, and sometimes making disasterous life decisions with consequences that fuckin' hurt.

    Is good television like that still being produced? What do we have for *great* human drama? I know ER was pretty damn great for a while -- has it devolved into the senseless comedy pap that St. Elsewhere suffered during its dying days?

    Powerful hour-long human drama. An extinct species. :-(

    --
  • Hmm... Or should that be "Ummm?"

    Given America's love affair with the highway and the number of dents put into fenders every year, I wonder if they'll feature truly American recipes like "Sail Cat," "Armadillo pancake" and other ingredients from the flattened fauna that lies on the soft shoulder after meeting with the hard body panel...

    They could host it "On the Road," and keep the production costs real low(-riser.)

    Just thing that make you go "Mmm..."

    (As long as they stick a sock in Shatner's mouth and threaten him with a phaser set on "calcinate" if he so much as hums. :-)
  • Exactly. The show is going to flop, just like so many other American remakes of overseas shows. Iron Chef needs wierd ingredients, live eels, Chairman Kaga and strangely translated tasters waxing philosophical about the food. An American version...ick. UPN probably sees it as another "reality show", which have all ben crap so far, IMHO.

    -=lx=-
  • Er, so? Why is one body part worse than another? It's all dead flesh, which I personally think is yum. I see a lot of Americans squirm about it - probably the same people who won't eat sashimi - when people are killing octopii, etc. Do these people not know where meat comes from?

    -=lx=-
  • = Let's Cook!
  • . . .and Scotty can't fix it.

    Make it so. . . . (evil grin)

  • Dude, "meat is food".
    Kidding is a mass noun, like sand.
    Oh, there's another one: glass is sand. I could go on all day.
    And there are plenty of ways to form new words. There's no reason kidding can't be a mass noun, like "teasing".

  • What the Japanese think (Score:3)

    by elinenbe ( 25195 ) on Friday May 18, 2001 @04:27PM (#212628)
    After living in Japan for the last year you can not believe the success of this show. Just walk down the street in Tokyo and you will see Iron Chef clothing and tidbits in every shop. Many products in the stores are endorsed by "the Iron Chefs" themselves. This show is nothing in America and with a host like Shatner you can be sure that it will be as successful as the Priceline.com ads. The beauty of the show is in the presentation and style that will not come across here in the states. The dubbing at least leves much of the original flavor. Mmmmm... Time to eat!

    -eric

  • Iron Chef Drinking Game (Score:5)

    by Xmarksta ( 30211 ) on Friday May 18, 2001 @04:05PM (#212629)
    If you want to get a better feel for what the show is like in case you haven't seen it,
    here [ironsteph.com] is a link to the Iron Chef drinking game. (That's http://www.ironsteph.com/irongame.shtml for the paranoid...)
  • "I want full relish, Mister Sulu. Full relish!

    Or was that Mr. Chekov? I don't remember...

  • ALL YOUR KIDDING Are BELONG TO US

  • Re:Oh... no... (Score:3)

    by slickwillie ( 34689 ) on Friday May 18, 2001 @04:13PM (#212632)
    Is that supposed to be talk-sung [scifitimes.com] to the tune of "It Was a Very Good Life" or "Mr Tambourine Man?".

  • Looking on the bright side (Score:3)

    by ajs ( 35943 ) <ajs.ajs@com> on Friday May 18, 2001 @09:30PM (#212633) Homepage Journal
    Ok, so Shatner will host. No biggie. If they steal the format wholesale, we'll see maybe 5 minutes of him per show.

    Here's the tough part: who plays the other roles? Who are your celebreties? Here's my vote:

    Keanu Reeves:
    Well, here we are at the first ever Iron Chef: America. The Captain has just unveiled the secret ingredient: catsup. Our Iron Chef Soul Food has begun scooping up huge buckets of the red sauce, but it seems the challengers, England's own Two Fat Ladies are having trouble getting their sidecar filled with small cups of the stuff.

    All right, let's introduce our panelists while the chefs get started. First we have former president William Jefferson Clinton. Good evening Mr. President.

    Clinton:
    Hi Key.. Kayanu... um... Neo.
    K.R.:
    And we have the lovely and talented Rachel Weisz
    Rachel:
    I don't actually have to
    eat everything that they cook, do I?
    K.R.:
    Oh, I'm afraid so. And, joining us from the prestigious MPAA we have Jack Valenti
    Jack:
    Keanu, have you ever stopped to think about how much money chefs are losing when people share recipies?
    K.R.:
    Ah... well I guess I...
    Alex Winter:
    Ted!?
    K.R.:
    Shut up Bill! Um... I mean, go ahead Alex!
    Alex:
    It looks like the challengers are adding butter, lard, corn oil and smoked kippers into a pot!
    Nameless Food Expert on Panel:
    Oh right... I've seen this technique in English cooking before. The idea is to actually make the solid parts of the meal
    float in grease so that it's easir to serve. This should be quite good, and great for firming up those arteries.


    Ah yes... I can see this working quite well... ;-)
  • James Earl Jones would be great. He could easy fill those shoes without the overdramatization.
    Besides think about him saying: http://www.best.com/~kennahm/life.wav
    wave file [best.com]

  • Theme (Score:3)

    by Strider- ( 39683 ) on Friday May 18, 2001 @03:46PM (#212635)
    Lets just pray that they don't get Shatner to sing the theme song. :P I've already been scarred for life by his singing. :D

  • This will be entertaining (Score:3)

    by kahuna720 ( 56586 ) on Friday May 18, 2001 @03:55PM (#212636) Homepage
    Chairman Kaga is just the sort of campy, melodramatic character that Shatner has essentially made his entire post-"Trek" career on. It makes total sense.



    Who gets to play the Oto and Fukui-san parts tho?

  • I threw out my TV over 5 years ago, and everything changed. I no longer found myself choosing sides in pointless debates about fluff. I found that my view of the world at large was no longer colored by the corporate angle presented by TV news reports. I learned that even without TV I still don't have enough time to fulfill all my creative projects. I discovered that indeed the art of conversation is not dead, and furthermore that there's a whole world of literature out there just waiting to be read - and not just made into a TV movie of the week.

    Of course I now spend a good 4 hours a night on the internet! But here in this worldwide forum I'm discovering a multivarious universe of pluralistic view I never see on TV.

    So what's SlashDot doing posting a story about a possible TV show about food-preparation that may happen to feature master thespian William Shatner?

    Perhaps because Iron Chef represents the same ideals as SlashDot itself! Using weird and limited resources to produce something of dubious edibility that is summarily critiqued by a large panel of nonentities.

    Perhaps because William Shatner - like William Gibson and Jerry Pournelle - has produced classic works of science fiction in a very particular idiom.

    Next time couldn't we get an interview with the cast(aways) of Survivor instead?


    --------
    Yeah, I'm a Mac programmer. You got a problem with that?

  • Comment removed (Score:3)

    by account_deleted ( 4530225 ) on Friday May 18, 2001 @07:19PM (#212638)
    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  • they don't get it. (Score:4)

    by AugstWest ( 79042 ) on Friday May 18, 2001 @04:09PM (#212639)
    the main reason for the show's popularity is its.... well, japanese-ness.

    take that away, and you've got a lot of money wasted on a failed television project. not the first, not the last, but it realy seems like there are just so many better projects otu here to spend money on.
  • since the hostess at the time was probably the most fuckable chick on Food Network

    Surely, you're not talking about Fern Britton [fortunecity.com]?
    --
    Lord Nimon

  • From an e-mail from my brother about this subject:

    I just hope we'll have occasional episodes that have Star Trek cameos. Here's the ones I can't wait to see:

    James Doohan comes on to prove that Scottish food isn't that bad when you're piss drunk.

    George Takai shows just how to make the most Americanized Chinese food in the world.

    Special guest Wil Wheaton gets used for the "long pig cookoff spectacular"

    And finally, Iron Chef French vs. the replicator!!!

  • Nooo! (Score:3)

    by Greyfox ( 87712 ) on Friday May 18, 2001 @03:44PM (#212642) Homepage Journal
    He can't afford to gain any more weight! He'll DIE!

    They'll have to chuck him on an exercise bike for the hour while the chefs do their things...

  • ... I think they should do something more along the lines of "Junkyard Wars" meets "Emeril Live!", where they have the master chefs (emeril vs. one of the Two Fat Ladies, for instance) and each has a team of 3 amateurs.

    Only then could I tolerate Bill doing commentary.

    :)


  • I agree with previous posters that Bill Shatner is the only actor in America who is as over-the-top as Chairman Kaga. However, there's more to Iron Chef than a flamboyant host and breathless commentary. The part I most enjoy is the strange and unique dishes made from strange and unique foods that likely as not were still writhing when the Chairman introduced the theme ingredient.

    Unless the American show comes up with something really outrageous, it's going to be just Emeril [foodtv.com] kicked up a few more notches.

    Bang!

    Allez Cuisine!

  • Shatner singing the theme song can't really be worse than Chuck Noris singing his own theme song (for Walker Texas Rangers).
  • we spawned the Shat-ner, but he's since left for numerous lights of the u.s.

    Linus has,in fact,grown,and explosively-JonKatz
  • damn, should have been "no OTHER north american actor"
  • FYI: Shatner is Canadian.

    But where does he live now? Not in Cananda eh.

  • Except there's only one fat lady left.
  • No North American actor could pull of the part of the "Chairman". The overdramatization, the weird facial expressions, the zeal with which he bites that damn pepper... Who else but Shatner could fill those shoes? Who did you want to host it? Alex Trebec? (sp?) Dick Clark?
  • It's about the Iron chefs that compete against each other in this sort of intense, very theatrical, over the top, gladiator-like style," he said.

    The American version will be filmed later this summer at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas and will include a new panel of Iron Chefs, Valentine said.

    (1) Since when do the Iron Chefs go head-to-head against each other?!

    (2) No Morimoto. Perhaps as a guest Iron Chef, or a challenger, but according to the article, we'll see all-new chefs. Shame, really...

    --
  • Jim Carrey could be fun, if a lot more expensive.
  • the hostess at the time was probably the most fuckable chick on Food Network
    No, that'd have to be Padma Lakshmi.

    I definately think an American version of the camp feel could work, but you'd want to associate it somehow with the WWF. "You beat me once Mr. Iron Chef, but this time you're going down! Then I'm gonna outcook your Momma and your Daddy and all your kids..."
  • Please. We have to give the geriatric bastard a break. My god all the superb acting and all those Star Trek episodes. But Please Mr. Shatner no more singing (if I can even remotely call it that) like you did on the PriceLine commercials!!
  • It's popular, it's derivative of an existing show, how could they not make it in America?

    Of course, it's impossible to say what the end result will be. It could either delight or alienate fans of the Japanese show, or it could pick up enough of a new audience to make the old audience irrelevant. And, as we all know, by the cancellation of Lone Gunmen, the quality of the show won't dictate how long it will stay on the air.

    I will say that the show will probably suffer if they try to copy the show exactly. However, it's taking place in Vegas, so there's a good chance it'll look like that New York Battle, which would be much much worse.

  • People shouldn't eat people.
    1) Disease transmission: whatever disease that dead human has, you can probably get.
    2) Toxicity. Average human age is quite long, so unless you get em young, they've probably accumulated tons of toxic stuff. And even if you get them young, breastfeeding will pass the moms toxins to her kids.
    3) If you wait for them to die of natural causes, see 1). Forget deaths by accidents- it's like eating a chicken that's been rolled over, very negative aesthetic value. If you kill and eat people, their friends tend to be very upset and might come with guns and blow you away. Cows don't do that.

    BTW feeding cows to cows was one of the stupidest ideas, worse since cow digestive systems are adapted to digesting vegetation.

    Cheerio,
    Link.
  • The reporter has no clue about the show, because if you've ever watched even ten minutes you understand that the dubbing is *exact*, even giggles and "uhms", it's not at all "inept".

    Translating the show as a whole to an American context is going to be impossible, as we do not have hundreds and hundreds of years of culinary cultural heritage that is our own, and although Twinkies can last that long they don't count. Game shows in Japan are different from ones here because, simply, the US and Japan are different, very different. Their food means a lot more to them than our food (and lack thereof) means to us.

  • How about this: Jack Palance as the chairman, Oto and Fukui-san being played by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. OK, maybe not the SP dudes for those parts, but Jack Palance would really kick ass, his on screen presence would rule.

  • For the record, "split infinitives" are not actually a grammatical error. It's a style point that gets played up by misinformed pedants repeating a bit of Latin grammar that was inappropriately mapped on to English a couple of centuries ago by someone who didn't really know what he was talking about.

    Diagram that!

    /Brian

    (ps William Shatner, food... uh... Well, I was in a bar last night that was invaded by three costumed folks passing out stickers promoting the Iron Chef special and they hadn't heard the William Shatner thing. I will say this, though -- if you need overdramatic (which I get the sense Iron Chef is; AT&T won't get off their butts and give us TV Food Network already) he's your man.)

    (pps This message is boobytrapped. The pedants I mentioned above will know why but won't realize it.)
  • You didn't read the last line of my post, nyah nyah...

    /Brian
  • After years of bolding going where no man had gone before, William Shatner is now what he pretended to be: a void in space.

    He drifts... floating from stupid Priceline.com commercials to writing books back to Priceline.com commercials.

    Now he's becoming a chef.

    Let's all write him a letter, asking him to dedicate himself next to something less public. Perhaps he can be an ambassador to a small African country? Perhaps an engineer at a clean-coal plant?

    I seriously fear William Shatner... and now he'll have chef knives and use of fire?!

    Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • "bolding going"?

    Nice typo, me. Perhaps I should resort to a clean coal plant or African nation.

    It's the Nyquil... I swear, it's the Nyquil...

    Don't mock me.
  • Bill Shatner, the man, is from Canada.

    USA: 0, Canada: -1

    Captain Kirk, the character he plays, is from Iowa (USA).

    USA: 1, Canada: -1.

    Then again, T. J. Hooker is also American...

    USA: 1, Canada: -1.

    And shatner is still in America, doing Priceline.com commercials.

    USA: 0, Canada: -1.

    Bill Shatner has nothing to do with Mexico.

    Final result, Mexico kicks our asses. (Mexico: 1, USA: 0, Canada: -1) Congratulations, Mexico, for being the least Shanterist of all of the NAFTA members!

    PS. I think the Iron Chef was cool before, and will probably keep up momentum if they don't change much. "Who's Line" is doing a good job on ABC proving that a good show does not need a total overhaul to work for American audiences.

  • Oops. Typo.

    T.J. Hooker was supposed to knock the US down to 0, so USA's final score in that post should be "-1". (As will my pathetic attempt at humor, once any short-tempered Canadian moderators are done with it.)

  • Not only that, but it should be "and to go boldly."

    The whole thing is a grammar teacher's nightmare... which makes it a great choice for Babelfish abuse! :)

    Translating "Space, the final frontier" (a sentance fragment) into German and back to English gives you:

    "Workstation, the locking boundary."

  • Actually, I did.
  • While we are talking about other hosts for shows, I would like to take the opportunity to mention that Anne Robinson is an annoying hag, and should be fired. Her pathetic attempts at acting mean, her sad jokes that are supposed to sound cruel and always fall flat, and that creepy wink she gives to the camera at the end of the show... it all makes me want to stab her in the face with a really dull knife. The concept of the show is okay, as game shows go, but she is terrible.

    Ms. Robinson, you are the weakest link.

    IMHO, The show would be much more intense with a friendly, soft-spoken host, calmly grilling the contestants. My choice: The great Peter Faulk, of course! :)

    As for Shatner, I think SmokeSerpent is right. There is nobody more perfect for such an over-the-top show.

  • For the record, "split infinitives" are not actually a grammatical error.

    It never fails. If you attempt to correct grammar on slashdot, you will make some yourself. Your misuse of singular vs. plural in that sentence is a classic example.

    Let's be really pedantic and break down the whole damned thing, shall we?

    Space, the final frontier.

    This is actually a fragment, not a sentence.

    These are the voyages of the starship, Enterprise.

    Nothing seems wrong at first, except that in the context of their "5 year mission", and the fact that the only destination defined here is "space" they are actually on one voyage.

    It's five year mission, to...

    Again, the verb is missing. Some grammar nazi's would let this slide as an implied "is".

    ...explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before!

    While connordb points out that the split infinative is not an error, it is pretty sloppy writing. Another problem is the redundancy. How can you possibly explore stange new worlds if you only go where man has gone before? The whole last phrase is unwarrented. Also, are they uninterested in seeking out old civilizations? Is there seach limited to newborn infants in recently constructed cities (on newly formed planets)? "New" is a poorly chosen word.

    A more correct way to write the introduction would be as follows:

    Space is the final frontier. This is the voyage of the starship, Enterprise. Its five year mission is to explore strange worlds while searching for life and civilizations.

    All the drama is lost this way, of course... but then we have all seen the old jokes about what happens to the Gettysburg Address after an English 101 teacher gets done with it.

    Strict grammar is effective, but seldom affective.

  • It never fails. If you attempt to correct grammar on slashdot, you will make some yourself.

    And another example in my reply to your reply:

    "Is there seach limited to..." That's a wrong use of "there". It should have been written "is their search limited to..."

    Also, it would not kill me to close an html tag once in a while. :)

  • The Chairman, the program's host who oversees the competition and is famous for dramatically biting into a hot-pepper at the beginning of the show.

    That is a sweet yellow pepper. It's not hot at all. Damn tasty though.

  • So, does this mean that every odd episode will be lousy, and every even episode great???
  • Second Thought:

    American Cuisine???

    Competition over a Macdonalds menu? or the best Pizza and Beer combo?

    the mind boggles.

    Check out the Vinny the Vampire [eplugz.com] comic strip

  • Vulcan Cuisine (Score:3)

    by Alien54 ( 180860 ) on Friday May 18, 2001 @03:59PM (#212674) Journal
    Even worse, the competition will be between two Vulcan chiefs

    Imagine Vulcan color commentary.

    This could be bad, or really good camp.

    Scotty - Beam me out of here!

    Check out the Vinny the Vampire [eplugz.com] comic strip

  • Split infinitive of the verb to go.

    The Grammar Nazi's prefer to go boldly.

  • Before all the Iron Chef fansites were pulled for "legal reasons", the prevailing opinion was that he actually was saying allez cuisine, which translates to "go kitchen" from french to english. If you watched the US battle between houseplant Bobby Flay and Morimoto, it was more obviously "allez" than in the syndicated Japanese episodes.

    Don't hesitate to ask any other questions relating to completely useless information that nobody could possibly care about aside from undersexed losers like myself. I'm the Cliff Claven of Slashdot.

    ---

  • Renowned psycic Dianne Warwick. "This is very fruity! I like that"!

    Senitor Strom Therman "This appitizer is actually keeping me awake. Very good!"

    Rock Star Jewel. "MMMMMMMMM!!!"

    Actor Kirk Cameron. "Please hire me. My agent said this was better then Hollywood Squares, but now I'm not so sure".

  • Spoiler alert...

    Flay/Morimoto II has already been taped, the ingredient is lobster, and Flay hands Morimoto his wasabi...

    I forget the exact scores, but Flay rolls over Morimoto.

  • ...there's a toupee in my soup!
  • I wanna see him wrestle with an octopus on live TV.

    Other than that, it's a travesty.

    ~sabine
  • "Scotty, we need more power to the blender."
    "Captain, I'm givin' her all she's got!"
    "We need more speed or we're dead."
  • Who cares about Shatner! Now I want to see 7 of 9 hosting it :) (or Xena... or Buffy... or...)
  • C'mon...Just because Shatner is in it doesn't make it scifi...or does it?
  • has been expecially successful in the U.S. It's good to know that you don't need to have a solid grasp on our language to be a journalist

    And it's even more expecially good to know that those in glass houses are still huckin' stones! :)

  • I heard that show was finally cancelled. Whew. That awful title always made me think of Chuck Norris beating the shit out of a bunch of baseball players. It even had a spinoff series.
  • But here in this worldwide forum I'm discovering a multivarious universe of pluralistic view I never see on TV.

    My TV-weakened brain is having trouble parsing that sentence, but if you never see a multivarious universe of pluralistic view on TV, doesn't that mean that you always see something else - and thus that you are constantly watching TV. As this negates your previous assertion, I can only assume that you peak through your neighbors' windows and watch their TV, as yours, as stated, has been tossed out.

    Personally, I find the most interesting thing about TV is trying to detect the corporate agenda while watching. This, I think, was why Survivor was popular. You can truly judge someone's intelligence by seeing how they watch Survivor (though by merely watching it one starts with a minor intelligence handicap). Roughly 3/4 of people will get fooled by the editors and claim to know what's coming only to have it, quite suprisingly, turn around in the last 2 minutes. Trying to see beyond what TV editors want you to see is the only valuable thing on TV for me (well, that and the Daily Show).

    I realize that many waste away their lives in front of the TV, but I just don't get people who claim to be somehow superior because they avoid it at all cost. That's tantamount to one of Gutenberg's contemporaries clinging to his local bard and claiming that print is a detriment. Obviously, TV is under corporate control, but it is still of cultural value. Like it or not, it's the medium that defines the last two generations. Music probably defined the two before that, but TV still had a huge role. Really, is something like Saturday Night Live any more mindless than Chaucer?

    Instead of engaging in the "art of conversation" and railing on the mindless masses from your perch of artistic piety, you should try and start a competing medium yourself. Or, since the public seems rathered entrenched in the TV culture, try to create some sort of intellectually stimulating TV program. Criticizing TV watching isn't going to eliminate it because the people on TV won't broadcast your criticism. You have to show them another mode of media through the existing form. I imagine word of mouth spread news of the printing press, that handbills advertised the sales of radios at Sears, and that there were radio ads for TVs. Going back to word of mouth isn't going to eliminate television slaves - you need a better solution. Or you can just sit on your ass and complain about it ... which if you think about it isn't much more productive than watching an episode of South Park anyway.
  • No Shatner?

    FYI: Shatner is Canadian. So is James Doohan (aka Scotty.)

  • "No North American actor could pull of the part of the "Chairman". The overdramatization, the weird facial expressions, the zeal with which he bites that damn pepper... Who else but Shatner could fill those shoes? Who did you want to host it? Alex Trebec? (sp?) Dick Clark?"

    They should get James Earl Jones. It would finally keep kim busy so he wouldn't have to do those steenking Verizon commercials.

  • Perhaps the ultimate American cuisine (if there is such a thing) "food fight" would be seeing Dave Thomas (Wendy's Restaurant Guy) and Colnel Sanders (KFC guy) go at it. Even though the latter is no longer alive, It would be interesting to see which one could make the food with the highest NFC.

    [NFC = Net Fat Content]

  • "But where does he live now? Not in Cananda eh. "

    He owns his own business in Toronto [from his biography [northernstars.net]] so it stands to reason that he lives in the city too.
    But alas, as I dig deeper, it turns out [jamshowbiz.com] that his abode is in California.

    "I AM CANADIAN! [adcritic.com]"

    -William Shatner
    [quote is from the same site as previous link]

  • The Iron Chef is really an adictive show. If this works out it'll be great but It'd be better with Morimoto. Perhaps they can bring in all the hosts of all the other TV Imports, to be judges.

    I bet Anne Robinson can really pack it away.
    and Regis seems to be quite the food coneseur
    Jeff Probst seems like he could really benefit from eating something other that all that Vegimite he's been living on...


    --
  • Here's the setting. It's late, I'm at my grandparents' house, and I'm flipping through channels. I get to that channel that tells you what's on. (I can't remember what it's called now! You know, it's like a televised schedule for shows.) Anyway, I find this channel and see what's on. Then, it appears. IRON CHEF! (Pronounced in that weird sponsor guy's accent). Needless to say in my caffeine-heightened state I have to see what this show is. I go to the Food Network. It's late, I'm wired, and the show is the funniest thing I have ever seen in my life! If you've ever watched it you know what I mean here's an example...

    In weird dubbed Chinese voices:
    Announcer guy:[Chinese name]

    Other announcer: Go ahead!

    Announcer One: It appears the challenger is doing something unique! He's braising the shark fins in a mix of lemon juice and mango seeds! (NB: I made that up).

    Third Announcer (woman): Ooooh! That looks delicious.. and the color, I didn't think shark fins were so pink!

    Aouncer One:Yes, these are very fresh shark fins, look there are the sharks! (Actually, the only live ingredient I saw was squid, but shark is cooler).

    Time passes until serving

    Announcer One: This is delicious... I can't say I care for the taste, but this is delicious anyway!

    Everybody else says, basically, the same thing

    The Iron Chef then wins, by one point.

    It's like a fixed boxing match. But I still love the show, it has the "All your base belong to us" side, and then it has the cool food... All in all a great show, both for comedy and for, well, general entertainment value.
    --------------------------------------

  • I can see it now... (Score:3)

    by ConsumedByTV ( 243497 ) on Friday May 18, 2001 @04:19PM (#212694) Homepage
    I.... Think.... Our......... chefs ..... willl............ be.... cooking.........FOOOD....... tonite.......beam me up...err... i ... mean.... name.... your...errr...damn it.... just cook....angerly.....


    The Lottery:
  • If the challenger is female, will Kirk hit on her?

    I agree with what someone else said: the show is a hit in the US because of its campy Japanese nature, the bad dialogue, and the unusual ingredients.

    A US version of the show will succeed only if it is purposely campy. ...Tonight's challenger is the night manager of the Burger King on 58th street. His interest in French cuisine led him to experiment with the salt to oil ratio of the french fries. Three grease fires in as many weeks have not dampened his spirits for this battle against Iron Chef Irish, Ronald McDonald. Now, Chairman Kirk unveils the secret ingredient: COCA-COLA!

  • Sports stadiums are not sponsered by sports-related companies, so why would Iron Chefs be sponsored by food companies?
    • Iron Chef 3Com
    • Iron Chef Ameritrade
    • Iron Chef Blockbuster Video
    and Shatner's favorite
    • Iron Chef Priceline.com
  • We have plenty of food heritage in the US for this kind of show.

    Fukai: The theme ingredient tonight is American Cheese, and with 20 minutes remaining, our challenger does not appear to be doing well with this ingredient. Wait, he's pulled out his cell phone. What is he doing?

    Ota: Fukui-san?

    Fukai: Yes, Ota!

    Ota: The challenger informs me he has called Dominos and ordered an extra large 3-Cheese deluxe pizza with a side of fried cheese sticks. While waiting for it to arrive, he's making a dipping sauce from ketchup, ranch dressing, and salt.

    Fukai: But with only 20 minutes remaining, isn't he cutting it a little close?

    Ota: Fukui-san, the challenger informs me that Dominos always delivers in 20 minutes or less. If not, he gets the order for free.

    Fukai: What a shrewd move on the part of the challenger!

  • maybe he got tired of writing novels about his *DEAD* character on Star Trek...

    God I hope so... he just kept writing books explaining how Kirk wasn't dead, how he couldn't die, and everything else...

    don't get me wrong.. I loved the books. But far too much Kirk!
  • the terrible dubbing, the faces and mannerisms of the japanese chefs all give it that special character that make it so funny to watch. I never laughed so hard after seeing a chef hang his head in terrible shame after a judge said "its just a bit too sweet"
  • How about Anne Robinson as a guest host (when Shatner goes on vacation)? "I'll remind the chefs that grease is NOT the theme ingredient!"
  • What will be the first main ingredient?

    Romulan Bloodworms!

    Which actually sounds a little more palatable than some of the things I've seen 'em whip up, e.g., squid gut ice cream.

    Hell, as long as I get to see somebody bludgeon large sea creatures to death with the blunt end of a butcher's knife, I'll continue watching.

  • Captain Kirk:

    What do think of this turkey à l'orange Bones?

    The Doctor:

    He's dead Jim.
  • "Damn it Bones! I'm a captain, not a chef!"
  • Hm, I can't watch Iron Chef where I live (yet?), but I do sporadically have a fun-packed half hour watching Takeshi's Castle (is this being broadcast in the US? If not, that's a pity, go complain and start writing letters immediately), and I just tried to imagine what that show would look like as a US (or European for that matter, no anti-US rants from me! Ermh, at least no mindless ones...) remake: guess what, what I came up with looked like utter crap, because there's stuff that's funny in one given cultural context, but if it draws heavily from that culture you can't easily transplant it elsewhere, you will only get tedious results IMMHO. Has been proven often enough, just take the long list of US remakes of french films as an example.

    Anyway, if they made the Holo-Doc host either of the shows, I'd risk an eye.
  • Oh Shatner did get paid in Priceline stock. But he sold his shares before they dropped. He made a few million. At that time, his actions made it clear to a lot of business analysts and lay people like me that he had little faith in the business.
  • He drifts... floating from stupid Priceline.com commercials to writing books back to Priceline.com commercials.

    Aw heck, I heard he got paid for those commercials with Priceline (PCLN) stock ... which today, is trading at a whopping $4.94/share ... up from $1.06 in late December (whoo hoo!!)

    In short, the guy's gotta earn a living, and with any luck, he'll get bunch of free food, too. :-)

  • What news?

    Sigh.

    CmdrTaco has eaten too many tacos
  • He didn't write any of them, they were ghost-written (but of course you knew that). Ron Goulart was paid a lot of money to write the Tekwar books, and keep quiet about it.
    -----------------
  • S'Okay, the original "To boldly go" is a grammatical error (danging modifier, I think, but IANAEM) that drives english majors crazy.
    -----------------
  • And exactly how many dishes can you make out of Tribbles?
    -----------------------

  • Shatner's Rug (Score:3)

    by 6EQUJ5 ( 446008 ) on Friday May 18, 2001 @03:48PM (#212717) Homepage

    Is he gonna finally cook up the squirl he's been sporting on his head for 20 years?

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