Bastard Operator from Hell II (Son of the Bastard) 125
Bastard Operator from Hell II (Son of the Bastard) | |
author | Simon Travaglia (Illus., J. D. "Illiad" Frazier) |
pages | 152 |
publisher | Plan Nine Publishing |
rating | 9 |
reviewer | Craig Maloney |
ISBN | 1-929462-40-9 |
summary | The continuing adventures of the Bastard Operator from Hell in paperback format, illustrated by User Friendly's J.D. "Illiad" Frazier. |
> DUMMY MODE ON <
If you've been around computers for a while, you've probably read the adventures of "The Bastard Operator from Hell" (or BOFH). Throughout the years, Simon Travaglia's version of the BOFH has become the canonical version with its witty and humorously sadistic vignettes. Bastard Operator from Hell II (Son of the Bastard) is a compilation of some of the more recent tales of treachery similar to the ones that appear at http://www.theregister.co.uk.
"Hello?"
If you've enjoyed reading any of the BOFH stories, you'll love this collection. The stories are written with the same overall style that has made the BOFH series so popular. Whether the BOFH is trying to revive his boss with PC parts (after showing his boss the bill for his new "work wear") or taking the reins of (horrors) management (where the managers have such exciting meetings such as trying to figure out whether to rent the plants for the building), Bastard Operator from Hell II delivers 37 fiendishly funny glimpses into the life of a truly evil operator. The stories themselves are only a few pages, so the casual reader can take in a few without much trouble. The truly voracious reader will look at this book as merely an appetizer. What it lacks in quantity it more than makes up for in quality. There are some real laugh-out-loud moments in this book which have to be read in context in order to appreciate them. Suffice to say, readers of this book won't be disappointed.
"It's a dog's life really..."
Plan Nine Publishing did a great job of laying out this book. The six illustrations "Illiad" illustrated are sprinkled in various sizes throughout the 151 pages of the book (with some repetition, but unless you're really picky it won't bother you too much). Speaking of nitpicks, a small table of contents would be helpful in locating choice stories quickly.
So, what's in it for me?
At $12.95, the book is a bit pricey for the amount of content. Fans of the BOFH series should not hesitate to get this latest installment. Those who don't feel the need yet should check out the older stories archived in various places on the net before pulling out their wallets. Once you've picked this book up, though, you'll want to read it cover to cover. You'll find it hard not to wish you were inflicting some of the bastardly acts yourself. Now where did I leave my clue-by-four ...?"
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I just hope (Score:3, Funny)
Re:I just hope (Score:5, Funny)
You should see the 'art prints' that advertising's color dye sub is printing out. Very 'artistic'.
All I can say is... (Score:2, Funny)
I still remember the looks I got for blowing a snot(drinking a pop while reading BofH is not a good idea) when I read my first story.
BOFH At The Register (Score:5, Informative)
BOFH 2000 [theregister.co.uk]
Ancient BOFH [ntk.net]
BOFH Archive (Score:4, Informative)
If anyone is interested in reading the old BOFH posts, there is an archive [iinet.net.au] available.
Re:BOFH Archive (Score:3, Informative)
make users suffer! (Score:4, Insightful)
no! sysadmins should be allowed to crucify users that get out of line and then set the crosses on fire.
Re:make users suffer! (Score:5, Funny)
You'll never become a true BOFH unless you understand the basics...
Re:make users suffer! (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:make users suffer! (Score:3, Informative)
Re:make users suffer! (Score:1)
You're missing the point. Sysadmins should behave in such a way that when they crucify users that get out of line and then set the crosses on fire, the users think that they *are* being nice to them.
Not quite.
ciao,Users must think that sysadmins are being nice to them in spite of their incredible tight scheduling, so that they will think twice before bothering them again.
A sysadmin wants to deal with systems, not with users.
Re:make users suffer! (Score:2, Funny)
Where did I leave the Halon release key?
Re:make users suffer! (Score:2)
Re:make users suffer! (Score:1)
If I am as unhelpful and un-nice as possible, then they'll think twice before calling me again.
Re:make users suffer! (Score:3, Funny)
My favorite is the user who forgets their password. New employees are encouraged to call me to "have their password reset." Usually, just setting it to "forgot," and then having them hear a light chuckle seems to be enough around here.
Another favorite is the user who needs the status changed on orders in our internal order processing system:
*ring*
"Hello?"
"I need a bunch of orders reset to 'newly entered'! The printer messed up while printing them, and I have to reprint them immediately!"
*sigh*
"Were these orders entered manually, or did they come in over EDI?" I ask, concern for the user oozing from every pore.
"Uh, manually entered, I think..."
"Okay, one moment please..."
clickety clickety clackety click
"Does 316 orders sound about right?" I ask, still with the Voice of Concern.
"Yes!" blurts the user. "Yes, that's it!"
"One moment please while I cancel your orders so you can re-key them..."
clickety...clickety...
User on the phone "What! Nnnnooooo!"
"Thanks for calling!"
Problem solved. Sometimes, I just love my job. HR could never fully explain a perk like this... :-)
Re:make users suffer! (Score:1)
This is probably off-topic, but i think i can swing it through with the 'be nice to your users' comment
Re:make users suffer! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:make users suffer! (Score:1)
Re:make users suffer! (Score:2)
We try to better ourselves and society with art and science, we take interest in our surroundings, and learning as much as we can. Maybe we can't throw a ball half a mile, or smash someones face in, but those are things that society should have evolved through a long time ago.
btw, i have never electricuted anyone in my life, or posted someones internet cache for all the world to see.
What really happens when you read the book... (Score:5, Funny)
Oh, I didn't know humidity would cause it to stick shut...What? No, sorry, I don't have any distilled mineral salts.
Sure, I've got a power cord right here - now I need to do what? Ionize the electricity with some saline? But I don't...Oh, sure I could do that....
*sticks power cord in mouth*
ZZZZZZZZZT *thunk*
Two thumbs up (Score:2, Informative)
I really enjoyed the first book, but it wasn't really meant to be read in one sitting; it was starting to get tedious towards the end. Having said that, if you don't have diarrhoea, then it's eminently dippable, and well worth keeping in the bathroom.
hrmph (Score:5, Funny)
Re:hrmph (Score:2)
Re:hrmph (Score:2, Funny)
.PDF (Score:3, Funny)
Re:.PDF (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:.PDF (Score:1)
(kidding..)
Re:.PDF (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:.PDF (Score:5, Insightful)
It's the same with GNU software. It's great that it's (beer) free, but that's no reason not to give something to the FSF if you can and want to.
Re:.PDF (Score:3)
For instance, I will definately buy this book, but I will not buy any CD's because I do not want to support the RIAA, and that's where most of my money will be going. I don't mind supporting a publisher and the author for work which I think is hilarious.
Re:.PDF (Score:1)
That's all well and good if you don't mind supporting the publisher as well as the author, but you do realise that Simon Travaglia will almost certainly be getting no more than between 1 and 5 cents in every dollar, right? The RIAA might be a huge, greedy manopoly, but that doesn't mean that what they do is unusual. It just means they're the best at it. The fact that they're in an industry where they have, for whatever reasons, become the "standard" and all musical production must go through them (correct me if I'm wrong?) just goes to demonstrate how good they are. However, I might contest that Joe Average knows any more about the RIAA's methods than about any book publisher--the only reason it's a big deal here on Slashdot is because the RIAA is seen as the Big Bad(TM) in the war over intellectual property etc.
This is the reason I very rarely buy books, and also the primary reason that have chosen to copyleft all my work (as a writer), and pursue journalism instead.
Btw, it's "definitely" and "CDs".
Re:.PDF (Score:3, Funny)
Buying the books (Score:5, Informative)
OctaneZ
BOfH Administrator
Daily Excuses (Score:1)
Re:Daily Excuses (Score:3, Informative)
Well Worth The Money. (Score:1)
That's all I can say. Buy it. You'll like it.
Bitterman
My god.... (Score:2)
See the cover image... (Score:1, Redundant)
Re:See the cover image... (Score:1)
Disaster Recovery? Sorry but if a disaster happends, I'll be recovering in the Bahamamas
Re:Sysadmin hint #45 (Score:1)
Real men run AIX
Re:Buying the book (Score:2)
It's good, but... (Score:3, Informative)
But there are a few critical points that should be made about the second book, and that can hopefully be avoided in the next installment:
BOFH goes America is worth a read (Score:2)
tells you how life in the US really is.
Oh - and if you're from the US, it teaches you
all the unfounded lies and cliches we Europeans
believe in about the Ameican way of life.
Salmon Days (Score:5, Informative)
I think Salmon Days [salmondays.tv] is going to start running a BOFH-ish broadcast series.
If you haven't seen The Trailer [salmondays.tv] you're missing out.
All I can say is, "ROFLMAO!"
Re:Salmon Days (Score:3, Interesting)
Almost anyone who's worked with clueless users will double over laughing at this: a live-action, Internet-only video series called "Salmon Days [salmondays.tv]", starring the Bastard Operator from Hell [ntk.net]. Featured are a thrashing of the Microsoft Paperclip, an inter-office porn show, and lots of idiot users getting their comeuppance. You have to call a phone number and pay a small fee to gain access to the full episodes, but just the trailer [salmondays.tv] is hilarious, and the profits go to charity [riders.org].
Re:Salmon Days (Score:1)
BOFH quote of the moment (Score:2)
BOFH Quote of the moment
Phreedom.Net BOFH Quote [phreedom.net]
Re:BOFH quote of the moment (Score:1)
www.beersoft.net/excuse
Owen
- insert coin for new game
Re:COX.NET has at least one BOFH. (Score:1, Offtopic)
and Preview are your friends...
Re:COX.NET has at least one BOFH. (Score:2)
That should have been:
</a> and preview are your friends.
*Sigh*
Re:COX.NET has at least one BOFH. (Score:2)
Re:COX.NET has at least one BOFH. (Score:1, Offtopic)
{Yes, that was probably true before as well...}
Re:COX.NET has at least one BOFH. (Score:1)
Goes off mumbling...
Re:COX.NET has at least one BOFH. (Score:3, Funny)
[lines of badly formatted HTML snipped]
Grasshopper, there is a careful difference between a commodity bastard, & a true BOFH. A small-b bastard is an idiot who makes everyone's lives miserable with little or no thought; a true BOFH shows great cunning & care in inflicting misery on her/his victims.
(There is a school of thought that a BOFH inflicts misery only on lusers. Debate about this point is endless. However, a BOFH will only inflict misery on another BOFH for a very brief time for obvious reasons.)
So if someone has passed to you much pain, & you can identify them well enough to return the present, then see this as a call to find your BOFH nature.
> I get the last laugh, however. Without my money they looses their job as COX goes belly up. No one really wants to
> spend loads of money to trade the TV that spews trash they hate to have their PC spew much of the same.
> Prediction, bankruptsy in two years. Bye Bye BOFH, better learn to write a more flexible and friendlier shell
> script. [cox.net]
Grasshopper, grasshopper. One disgruntled customer deciding to stop buying will not put an end to a business. Sieze your BOFH nature, & find a useful way to deal with this problem.
And remember, a true BOFH is never caught.
Geoff
JDASOGFFS (Score:1)
Just Do A Search On Google, For F*** Sake!
Re:JDASOGFFS (Score:1)
I thought that was a 'model 2' (Score:2)
Man, from then I was hooked. I kept a waffle iron in my office for a few years, but only two people ever looked at it and asked if it was a "Model 3"! A good way to find kindred spirits!
BOFH - 1st USENET posting ... (Score:3, Informative)
(You have to love the classics
pherris
Re:BOFH - 1st USENET posting ... (Score:3, Informative)
Irregular Striped Bucket #1 [iinet.net.au]
Don't really understand the BOFH thing... (Score:3, Insightful)
I must admit that I don't really grasp the BOFH perspective. I figure that as a sysadmin, my job is to serve users; torturing them really doesn't seem to be part of the job description. Yeah, they can be pretty annoying at times, but I figure that's partly because being a computer expert isn't necessarily part of their jobs - any more than it's my job to know the ins and outs of accounting or financial aid or anything else that my users do.
And yes, I should probably just learn to take a joke. I was a bit curious, though, to learn if anyone else felt the same way...
Re:Don't really understand the BOFH thing... (Score:3, Insightful)
Well, yes, it is. Mine too. But that's not the allure. Where I work now, there are only a handful of people I have to support. The user/luser ration is pretty user-heavy.
BUT...at a previous posting, I worked with a lrger group with a lower average "computer IQ". There's only so much you can take before revenge fantasies pop to mind, and from there, jail.
BOFH is a release, much the way a quality FPS is a release. Only a brave few will actually emulate the BOFH. The rest will take solace in the fact that somewhere, some luser just got some more free disk space ;)
P.S. Where you work, does your HR insist on some level of computer experience before hiring? We just hired a data-entry person who had NEVER used a PC on her 55+ years on the planet: "Press the Tab key to enter your password." "The what key? Enter?" Aaargh!
GTRacer
- Glad to have moved on from support to analysis!
Re:Don't really understand the BOFH thing... (Score:1)
P.S. Where you work, does your HR insist on some level of computer experience before hiring? We just hired a data-entry person who had NEVER used a PC on her 55+ years on the planet: "Press the Tab key to enter your password." "The what key? Enter?" Aaargh!
Ouch... Actually, the place where I work is small enough (a small college, ~150 employees) that we don't have a proper HR department. The staff are mostly clueful, though, and the students aren't technically inclined enough to be too demanding.
What probably helps me most, though, is that one of the other guys in the computer department usually ends up handling users. I keep the servers happy and do programming (both of which involve some dealing with users), while he does PC troubleshooting and helpdesk (which involves most of the dealing with users). I must say that I don't envy him.
Re:Don't really understand the BOFH thing... (Score:1)
No.
Re:Don't really understand the BOFH thing... (Score:2, Funny)
Financial Aid? Easy. If your EFC exceeds your COA you're SOL for the FSEOG. It's really all you need to know.
Ahem! (Score:1)
clickety click...
Keeping my day job ... (Score:2, Funny)
"My computer is frozen" ... "well put a six pack on it and I'll be right there"
"My computer is stuck" ... "You need to put a laxative in the cupholder"
"I can't get in" ... "Well tell your significant other to use a lubricant"
Some of the people I deal with are competent and I treat them well ... but a good majority of them deserve to be beaten down
My first posting... (Score:4, Informative)
While here, I thought I would address a few points/questions brought up in the posts.
1) Order of the stories - I pulled the stories from Simon's web site in the order they were posted, so I had assumed they were in order. I'll read through both books tonight and double check.
2) BOfH in PDF - I am not a big believer in electronic versions of books. While I feel they have there place in the realm of college texts, people still want a tangible book to read. Besides, the book doesn't need batteries.
3) Price of BOfH - I would love to get the price down, but given the very small print runs, that is hard. As demand for the books increases, this will happen. The good news is that a fair chunk of the purchase price goes to Simon (he makes more than we do, which is how it should be)
All of Plan Nine's books are more expensive than the average "Dilbert" (of course I think our stufff's funnier, but I am biased), but I can't afford to print 250,000+ copies.
A side note, if you buy the Bastard Pack, you save $4.00.
4) Availability from Amazon - The book is available from Amazon, they just have to get their act together. Once upon a time, they used to allow publishers to upload title info directly. Now they only do that if you sign up for their "Advantage Program", which only is advantageous if you are Amazon. I personally don't have the money to make interest-free 60-day loans to multi-billion dollar companies.
Besides, when you buy direct from Plan Nine, the artist/author gets twice the royalty that they get if you buy from Amazon or a book store.
Thanks for supporting Simon and the other folk at Plan Nine.
David Allen
Publisher, CEO, Janitor
http://www.plan9.org
What does PFY stand for? (Score:1)
Re:What does PFY stand for? (Score:1)
Re:What does PFY stand for? (Score:1)
Re:Sysadmins are sad (Score:2, Insightful)
It's a dirty job, but someone said I have to do it...
Re:Sysadmins are sad (Score:4, Redundant)
Sysadmin aren't the bottom ring of any company. From the very very large(GE, Kraft, anyone?) to the very small(20 employees) sysadmin are NEVER the bottom rung. That spot is reserved for the new marketing employee. The sysadmin's I work with control my life, and get my respect.
Could they code? Sure. Most of em have. Do they enjoy tinkering with machines and toys rather than chasing down the one cascading error in thousand's of lines of code? Looks like it.
Sounds to me like you have an attitude problem.
Re:Sysadmins are sad (Score:1)
I cant read the post you are replying to (i browse at 0 or 1 generally) but whenever i think of jumped up sys-admins i also think of the fat, lonely, sad comic book guy from the Simpsons. Read a BOFH using his voice and you may see what i mean.
Personally i find BOFH about as funny as Dilbert or User Friendly - ie not very. I dont think i`ve ever read any genuinely funny computer related humour - for some reason professional comedians dont go near it. I wonder why that is?
Re:Sysadmins are sad (Score:3, Interesting)
Obviously you've never seen "The Devil's Dictionary" (likely out of print now, though).
Re:Sysadmins are sad (Score:1)
I do seem to remember something with a similar title, and which was computer related, but i cant remember how funny that was either.
I dont want to sound like a grumpy old man, but i really like comedy, and i`ve looked for funny stuff, but its all of similar quality to those tedious `10 reasons why the internet is better than a woman` type emails which less (computer?) literate people persist in emailing me at least once a month.
Re:Sysadmins are sad (Score:2, Informative)
Re:Sysadmins are sad (Score:1)
Version 2.0 of SKB's out-of-print "The Devil's DP Dictionary" is called "The Computer Contradictionary" [amazon.com], (MIT Press; ISBN: 0262611120). An essential element of every geek's library, it's inspired by Ambrose Bierce's cynic masterpiece [amazon.com].
Raymond
Re:Sysadmins are sad (Score:2)
cheers,
mike
Re:Sysadmins are sad (Score:1)
Re:Sysadmins are sad (Score:1)
Re:Sysadmins are sad (Score:1)
Re:Sysadmins are sad (Score:1)
Check out SAGE website under USENIX and you will find out sysadmin is among one of the most tech-savy professional fields in the IT world.
Re:Sysadmins are sad (Score:1)
just stating a point.. tho it seems I'm the only one not allowed to bash the first guy to got troll.. but hey its tru, a lot of sysadmins don't like stupidity, or atleast their version of stupiditiy, (sorry but when someone complains about their monitor not working, and you come up and press the button, and it magically comes on.. you tend to consider it stupid.. u just never say it
sigh.. musta hit a nerve..