Star Wars: AOTC Reviews Pour In

Dork King writes "The New York Time's Review of AOTC (free reg, yada yada) notes that Attack of the Clones doesn't look good for fans. Thankfully, I'm not a fan." Also, dw5000 writes "The BBC has a favorable review of Attack of the Clones on its news website, as well as an executive summary of what the UK papers are saying about AotC. The populist tabloids love it, while the broadsheets are giving cautious approval. Hmm. Maybe I won't wait for DVD ..." I also noticed Variety has a review up as well. Also, for those who have lost all hope for Star Wars, I submit to you the date of the Spider-Man sequel: May 7th, 2004. You should know that spoilers exist in one or more of these stories. Beware!

spoiler

[dirvish]

Spider-Man spoiler? How is that possible? Anyone who is a fan knows every possible story line they could use in the sequal.

Plot twist to come

[ObviousGuy]

The Jedi are destroyed and the remaining few are scattered about the galaxy.

Anakin turns to the Dark Side and becomes Darth Vader.

Jar Jar Binks is the worst Star Wars character ever.

Lucas should have gone for real foreign languages instead of giving everyone bad accents.

Re:...and it's already on the net!

[rosewood]

I have 100+ DivXs sitting here next to me
I dont have a single DivX of a movie I would buy on DVD or havent seen on a theatre screen

Its been shown time and again that p2p etc. does not cut into sales

Weirdos

I guess I just dont understand - its like the free art museum that wont let you take pictures to show your friends half way across the world that will NEVER SEE THIS ART

recipe for comments in this discussion:

[jdbo]

mix-n-match to your pleasure:

claim to righteousness:

• "I haven't seen it, and..." (modded up as insightful)
• "I have seen it, and..." (lying, modded up as informative)
• "I have seen it, and..." (true, modded down as troll)

claim of truth:

• "...it sucks!..." (modded up as insightful)
• "...it rocks!..." (modded up as insightful)
• "...it sucks and (LOTR/Spider-Man/Matrix) rocks!..." (modded up as insightful)
• "...it rocks and (LOTR/Spider-Man/Matrix) sucks!..." (modded up as insightful)
• "...[perverse rant about Natalie Portman]..." (continously modded up as interesting and down as troll)
• "...what about the MPAA?..." (modded down as flamebait)
• "...[actual thoughtful review]..." (modded down as redundant)

parting declaration:

• "...Lucas has lost it!..." (modded up as insightful)
• "...Lucas is the king!..." (modded up as insightful)
• "...the FX are incredible!..." (modded down as redundant)
• "...I've done better FX on my basement 486 using POVRAY..." (modded up as interesting)
• "...it's OK. Go see it if you're interested, ignore it otherwise, and by all means wait for the swarming masses of raving geeks to dissipate..." (ignored by moderators)
• "...[desparate plea for a date with Natalie Portman]..." (modded up as funny)

Ripoff

[miracle69]

This movie is an obvious ripoff of two highly successful movies from two different eras: Strange Brew [imdb.com] and Spiderman [imdb.com]

Let's Compare.

Strange Brew : Star Wars EP II
Flying Dog : Flying Green Muppet
Plot to take over world : Plot to take over universe
Evil hockey players : Stormtroopers
Beer is source of power : "Midichlorion" microbrew
Bob and Doug : Obi and Anakin
Based on Hamlet : Based on ancient myths
Max von Sydow : Ian McDiarmid

Clearly, this movie is just a poor-rehash of Strange Brew with one twist - Spiderman special effects and the "spider sense" redone in an effort to trick the viewer into liking this poor-rendition of the greatest movie ever made, Strange Brew.

I don't buy it.

Kooookokokokokokokooooooo!

AOTC

[Anonymous Coward]

Since I have nothing witty to say, I will state for the record that Chewbacca is a better actor than Worf.

Re:I DOWNLOADED THE MOVIE

[ObviousGuy]

As Luke Skywalker hasn't even been introduced in AotC, a true spoiler would be that Anakin Skywalker is Darth Vader.

Whoops! Did I let that gem out prematurely?

Britney?

[Ogerman]

Is it just my imagination or is queen Amidala dressed almost precisely like Britney Spears in that one scene? Tight vinyl pants and top, belly showing, etc. Except it's a white outfit instead of red.. How lame can you get? Lucas has definitely sold out to corporate America. Sad really..

Re:NYT accounts deleted (karma whoring too)

[Stormie]

Anyone else notice the blah/blah and yada/yada login/passwords don't seem to work at New York Times anymore.

Well, I created a new account to read this. Username is something like sdkfgdkfs and password is something like pwejorowebn. (email is [e-mail])

If they want another one like that added to their database every time they have a story linked to by Slashdot, they're more than welcome to it.

The dread disease Midichlorian-itis!

[Spirit of Vengeance]

Midichlorian-itis predicted in record numbers!

Thats right, the dread disease Midichlorian-itis will once again make itself known in a mere 6 days!

Symptoms include but not limited to:

Hyper tension
High blood pressure
Trembling muscles and nervous twitches
Cold Sweat
High anxiety (generally manifest in high piched voice with constant arm waving and muttering "Oh my! We're doomed!"
Loss of appetite followed by craving for popcorn
Red and black markings on the patients head and body along with yellow horns protruding from the head.
Breathing problems, (the most common manifestion is when the patient breathes deeply on a regular basis)
Craving for roasted Ewok
Desire to skip work or school
Hallucinations of an army of Jar Jar Clones! (Warning! this symptom is indicative of an impending psychotic episode! Consult your Doctor right way! Failure to receive treatment on time can result in being carbon frozen!)

On May 16th please report to your local movie theatre, where for (insert ticket price here) you can receive your annual innoculation for the next 3 years.

If after the over 2 hour innoculation procedure is not enough, you can spend more $$ to repeat the dosage or else swing over to another part of the theatre for an arachnid booster shot

This public service message brought to you by Coruscant Medical Institute, the Friendly Family Doctors!

Re:I DOWNLOADED THE MOVIE

[Anonymous Coward]

You are mistaken. This episode reveals that Luke's father is actually Jar-Jar.

Re: Overwhelmingly Positive Reviews

[Black Parrot]

> For those to lazy to register:

LMAO. If the movie's half so entertaining as that review, it should do OK.

I'm not holding my breath, though.

spoiler

[TheWickedKingJeremy]

*SPOILER

- Padme engages in a threeway with a Gungan and a droid

- One of the three is a "screamer" in the sac - (hint, its not Padme or the Gungan)

Re:Britney?

[PCM2]

Is it just my imagination or is queen Amidala dressed almost precisely like Britney Spears in that one scene? Tight vinyl pants and top, belly showing, etc. Except it's a white outfit instead of red.. How lame can you get? Lucas has definitely sold out to corporate America. Sad really..

You would have preferred her naked and petrified, perhaps?