Review: Star Wars Episode II, Attack of the Clones 909
Much of the cast from Menace is back. Unfortunately none of the major actors manage to pull of a standout performance. Anakin is little improved from menace. I know he's supposed to be full of anger and angst, but mostly he just comes off as constipated and bitchy. Amidala seems to be taking a bit of a nap. Their romantic scenes together are the Jar Jar binks scenes of this movie: It just pauses the action, and the acting is so bad that the movie stalls until something interesting happened.
The rest of the cast is much better. Ewan McGregor has finally grabbed onto the role of Obi Wan. He's a bit preachy, but it works. Samuel L Jackson is the badass Jedi we want him to be. Senator Palpatine is pretty much the same guy as last time around. And Dooku, the flick's major bad guy is pretty excellent too. Its nice having villians with faces since they actually get to act a bit. The Fett family felt a little forced, but it was interesting.
Most notable this time around is the CGI characters. Episode I of course had Jar Jar, Watto, and many other CG chars, but Menace is literally crammed full of them. And the technology and animators have improved substantially since the last showing. No longer do they stick out like sore thumbs- now they merely stick out like a thumb with a little bit of a sliver. Yoda is of course the most important of the CG chars- everyone probably remembers the horrible animation on his one CG scene in Menance, but in Clones he is CG all the way. This is a huge deal since unlike most of the CG chars we've seen so far, this one works almost perfectly. There are a couple of shots where it doesn't seem quite right... but those are the exception, and not the rule.
What I'm saying is that CG characters have finally come into their own. In Menace, all I could think about is the fact that they were CG. The fact that they didn't looke quite right. This time around they are just part of the show. Another cast member delivering mediocre dialog. Ironically enough, several of the CG chars outshine their human counterparts.
The movie as a whole looks great. Many of the costumes look a lot more like Star Wars. From the clone army, to Amidala wearing a white costume for the last act, things just look like I would expect them to. We get to see some sets familiar from A New Hope as well as Menace, and that all really contributes to making the movie feel like a Star Wars flick. It also helps that the CG has continued to improve.
I'd also like to note that I didn't get to see it on the digital screen. I plan on seeing it digital in the next week or 2... I figured I'd see it at the local theater and make sure it didn't suck before I bothered driving to Southfield to see it in full digital splendor.
The rest of the review will focus a little more on plot. You've been warned. The story is of course largely a love story. There has been a threat on Amidala's life, and her old friends Anakin and Obi-Wan have been assigned by the Jedi Council to protect her. Investigating the asassination attempt leads Obi-Wan to a far away planet where he discovered a clone army being constructed, and a conspiracy to suppress information about it. Anakin and Amidala spend time together and get closer through a series of awkward pseudo romantic scenes where they both look like they would rather have been in different movies. Their utter lack of chemistry is almost amusing.
Obi-Wan gets into some smack, and so Anakin and Amidala go to rescue him, only to end up compounding the level of smack around for the good guys. Meanwhile the Senate does its thing and a major shift in power occurs. We learn who is responsible for the clone army, and what the plan for it is.
The last hour of Clones is the Payoff. A battle worthy of the original trilogy. I'm not going to go into it becuase that might spoil it, but let make the following points. First, we finally have enough light saber action. The massive jedi fight that we all knew these prequels could offer us. And my god was it ever worth the wait. But we also have Mace Windu kicking ass, and at long last, Yoda gets his chance to prove why he is so highly regarded.
The parallels to other movies in the SW Series, especially Empire Strikes Back are many. I'm avoiding mentioning them here, but I will say that the film tries to end on a dark note which is cool.
The packed theater that I saw this really seemed to feel the same way as me. A few awkward laughs during the romance scenes- even snickers during the sound-of-music picnic sequence. But when the final battles came around there were cheers around.
And that really sums it up. It took 3.5 hours of prequel film to get us to the payoff. For some it might not have been worth the wait... but for me, I'm just happy to finally to see most of what was promised delievered. And I'm reinvigorated towards Star Wars. If Episode III can pick up where II left off, III should finally be the Star Wars Prequel that we've been waiting for.
Mixed reviews (Score:5, Informative)
Roger Ebert ripped it a new asshole [suntimes.com], saying that the characters talk "more like lawyers than the heroes of a romantic fantasy."
Other reviews, however, were very positive (FilmThreat.com [filmthreat.com] had a cool review here [filmthreat.com] and here [filmthreat.com].
If you've got the time, look at the smorgasbord of reviews [mrqe.com] on www.mrqe.com.
The worst episode ever. . . (Score:1, Informative)
- impressive visuals
- impressive sound fx
The cons:
- the flattest story ever
- only one sentence dialouge sequences
- except for christopher lee and ian mcdiarmid the actors were really shallow (especially natalie portman)
mo
Re:Questions (Score:3, Informative)
Don't be. (Score:1, Informative)
It'll take some very clever screenwriting (and this hasn't been suggested by the summaries I've read) between this and the next episode to prevent viewers reacting to the line "I am your father." with the phrase "Well, duh!".
I don't think it's Lucas' style to leave much to the imagination (I didn't know that they had Millenia or Falcons long, long ago in a galaxy far away) and he's going to have to compromise himself (and maybe lose money) if he is to make the series as a whole tie together.
Re:My Thoughts (No Spoilers) (Score:5, Informative)
Re:Questions (Score:5, Informative)
Re:Australia (Score:2, Informative)
The security chief is Jay LeGualia
Jango Fett is Temuera Morrison from once we were warriors
they are both Maori though (New Zealand natives)
nipples/half ripped off top (Score:2, Informative)
In space, no one can hear you groan (Score:2, Informative)
ALERT!!! IP Theft!!! (Score:5, Informative)
Re:size counts (Score:4, Informative)
I wouldn't be at all suprised if some theaters are bending the rules a bit and going well over the lucasfilm rules about multi-screen projections to 4 or more screens from a single print.
"better" than TPM, but still a mess [long review] (Score:2, Informative)
It's "better" than TPM, but still a lousy SW movie. The love scenes are unbearable. Actually hearing some of those lines makes you want to cover your ears and say the alphabet to drown it out. Anakin is such a lecherous jerk it's astonishing. He keeps touching Padme and feeling her arm, as if that magic touch is going to make her go wild. Any normal girl would slap him in the face and tell him to keep his fucking hands to himself. I mean, it's almost sickening.
This is what Darth Vader is reduced to? Anakin is annoying in so many ways: embarrassingly horny, foolishly impulsive, recklessly stubborn. No redeeming qualities at all. Even bad guys have redeeming qualities, it's what makes them captivating. He has none at all. He is a horrible character. Darth Vader as a character is diminished by seeing this, although even now I barely connect the two together.
Ironically, while the audience will want the romantic scenes to be over as soon as possible, in the context of the story, it happens way too quickly. It goes like so: Horny Jedi sees the girl he's had a crush on for 10 years and drools over her in the most obvious ways. She repels his advances, but does give him the once-over. OK, he's aggressive and pestering, but SO DREAMY and INTRIGUINGLY DISTURBED. (Five minutes pass) He kisses her and she says it's a mistake even though she admits to feeling something too. More obvious fawning and pleading from the Horny Jedi. (Ten minutes pass) They go to Tatooine and she sees his sensitive side. The grieving son side, not the going-postal-with-revenge side. (Five minutes pass) They get captured and she professes her love for him because life is, like, too short, you know? (One big battle happens. Twenty minutes?) Having survived that, they return to Naboo and get married. (Good thing for him, because wanking off would have been damn near impossible after that saber battle...)
The early scenes on Coruscant are typical Lucas. Every frame is jam packed with too much to absorb. There are aliens walking around. Signs displaying messages. Trams zipping along. Droids performing tasks. And somewhere in the middle of this mayhem, two characters who you are supposed to be paying attention to. Man, he just doesn't get it. This overstimulus repeats itself over and over: in the speeder chase; in the city street; in the bar.
The movie's scenes are like index cards with ideas for locations, fights, or chases, with nary a bit of connective story between them.
The detective plot is silly. I'm sorry, but it is. Hmm, where did this mysterious dart come from? Of course it only comes from one planet. You know, the one in the Big Clue solar system. If you wanted to kill someone, wouldn't a nice sniper shot from a laser rifle be effective? If subtlety wasn't important, just spray a crowd with a blaster cannon. But no, use a stupid dart that will allow them to follow the trail of conspirators.
It bears mentioning that I can't believe the Jedi council continues to send one guy on critical missions when maybe four would be appropriate. Also, Yoda has never looked so unwise. Bad decisions you make! Cost many lives, it will!
The second half of the movie is somewhat better in that there is some action. However there are still problems abound. First there's the whole Tatooine trip. You're never told why Anakin hasn't in ten years been able to see his mother, so you're left to wonder why, other than to make it really dramatic, he only shows up when she breathes her last breath. Are the Jedi such assholes that they won't allow a four-day furlough for a trainee to go visit (perhaps even "free") his mother? OK, so now he's gonna do some serious kung fu on those Tusken Raiders, show 'em who's boss, yo! ....uhm, whaddayamean you aren't going to show it? You go from him taking the first swing (as seen in the trailers) to a fade/wipe to the next scene? Lame!
The fighting in the arena is pretty intense. I'm not entirely satisfied here either though, because some key matchups again get the short shrift. You'd expect Jango against Mace Windu to be a great fight. A Jedi Master versus Jango Fett? Sign me up! Don't get your hopes up, it's lame. Jango hardly puts up a fight before his head flies off. Really disappointing.
Plus, the Jedi in the battle are nameless and interchangeable. (Another of Lucas' big blunders. If he had any storytelling skill, he would've introduced at least one new Jedi character in this movie, if for nothing else than for the sake of getting some emotional response when he dies.)
For all the build up, the Yoda fight was a big letdown. As I feared, they have him spin around like Sonic the Hedgehog. The fight barely lasts a few seconds and then Dooku makes his escape.
One thing that really bugged me was the blatant Empire Strikes Back ripoffs. You'll see them continually throughout the movie. Lines of dialogue are so similar that you are forced to draw comparisons. There's a whole bit where Dooku is trying to get Kenobi to join him and I half expected him to say, "Yoda never told you what happened to your father. I am your father!"
So much of the action is cartoony. Anakin falling hundreds of feet onto a speeder with no injury and then having it crash and having him stand up with barely a wince is just one example.
However, at least this one doesn't crap all over the original trilogy the way the first one did. Which is my bitter way of saying Lucas didn't pull another "Darth Vader built 3PO" type of bombshell. So that was "good."
Parent stolen from Adequacy.org (Score:5, Informative)
Greedy Ticket Pricing (Score:1, Informative)
at the local theater's website, and I found the following notice:
Sorry for any incovemience
Lucas films will not allow any discount tickets
for any showing of Star Wars
Sorry Lucas, this obvious record-breaking tactic
still won't get you the records you're after.
Try making a good film. Now there's a novel idea that just might work!
Re:Clones Delivers (Score:3, Informative)
Standard historical pedantry: Hitler in fact was not elected, freely or otherwise. He ran for President in 1932 but was beaten by the incumbent, Hindenburg. The Nazis were doing extremely well in parliamentary elections (over 30%-40% of the vote, peaked at 48% in one state, I think) but there is some evidence to suggest that their vote (and their funds) was declining by the time the conservative clique who ran politics at the time installed Hitler as Chancellor in Jan 1933 as a puppet. Quite possibly the biggest underestimation in history! Later on, his rule was endorsed by several plebiscites which were free, if not fair (the massive support for Hitler was accurate enough, but all political opposition had been eliminated by this stage). But these had no constitutional validity. Hitler was installed, not elected. He had held no elected political post whatsoever before 1933.