The Case for the Empire 752
fReNeTiK writes "In this amusingly controversial article over at the weekly standard's web site, we get to hear an opinion not often heard among the hordes of Star Wars fanatics out there: The rebel alliance are actually "... an unimpressive crew of anarchic royals who wreck the galaxy so that Princess Leia can have her tiara back." An entertaining read which will surely spark flame wars of epic proportions." Reader kaypro submits an MSNBC story examining the
science of Star Wars. And
Ant notes that the
Clones DVD will be out earlier than expected.
Idiodot! (Score:3, Funny)
Under the Patriot act... (Score:5, Funny)
Parallel: Imagine a bunch of heavily armed British (or even French) Monarchists waging guerilla war across th US to undo the "injustice" of the American revolution and restore the House of Windsor to power.
The whole Star Wars series is responsible for promoting and glamorizing terrorism. Somebody arrest George Lucas.
...of course, he should have been arrested for Ep 1.
help me Obiwan, you're my only hope! (Score:4, Funny)
"Hey, what's this crap, I didn't wanna read this!"
"Move along."
"I'm gonna reload so I can get first post on the next story!"
In defense of the empire (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Meanwhile, back in the real world.. (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Under the Patriot act... (Score:2, Funny)
1 The Teletubbies cruise missile
2 The Aegis Group Harmony Facilitator
3 The Polaris Submersible-launched Sunshine Machine
"Terrorism" is based on perspective:
I am a freedom fighter.
You are a partisan.
He is a terrorist.
Re:Under the Patriot act... (Score:1, Funny)
"This is Planet Horumba to the head of the Federation. We're requesting a diplomatic envoy for our mission to Planet Splarch."
"Acknologed, Horumba. Now dispatching THE DEATH STAR."
"Wait a minute, Death Star?? We're trying to hold trade talks, not destroy their entire civlization!"
"The Death Star is a standard class sattelite-sized envoy space vehicle. For wartime measures, we send out our attack ships, The Genocidal Scary Big Balls of Death, Pain and Torture."
"Oh. Very well then."
Re:In defense of the empire (Score:5, Funny)
"First they came for the Droids but I was not a Droid so I did not speak out;
Then they came for the Wookies and the Naboo but I was not one of them, so I did not speak out;
Then they came for the Jedi but I was not a Jedi so I did not speak out.
And when they came for me, there was no one left to speak out for me."
Re:an obvious remark (Score:4, Funny)
proof that....... (Score:2, Funny)
Long live the 2nd empire! (Score:2, Funny)
Flame Wars (Score:3, Funny)
Hmm...
A long time ago, on a message board far, far away...
It is a period of flame war. Rebel thinkers, striking from their hidden message board, have won their first victory agains the Marketing Empire of Lucasfilm.
During the battle, Rebel geeks managed to come up with a new interpretation of the Empire's ultimate weapon, Episode I, a film so boring it could put entire audiences to sleep.
Pursued by the Empire's sinister lawyers, Princess Leia races home on her encrypted email, custodian of the new thoughts that can liberate her people and restore freedom of speech to the galaxy...
Ep2 an overblown fan film? (Score:2, Funny)
To prove that imitation is indeed the sincerest form of blatant copyright violation, Lucas premiered his "film" at this week's Orange County Star Wars convention. Lucas' mother, in whose basement he has lived for the last twelve years, is reportedly proud of her son's accomplishment. However, she also felt the love story between Padmé and Anakin was forced and poorly written.
Like most fan-generated "films," George's project was not a film at all. Lucas admits that he shot everything on digital video, about one quarter the image density of standard 35mm film. While he maintains that the choice was an artistic one, the issue of cost is undeniable.
During the screening, many patrons complained of the blurry look of the film print. A defensive Lucas reminded them that it looked much better on his computer monitor.
"If you look at color retention and light response, it would have looked much better on film," offered local film buff Wes Antilles. "I would have let him borrow my Super16 camera. He's too proud to ask, I guess."
The film suffers other ills common to fan films. Even the B-movie title, Attack of the Clones, is a dead giveaway of its amateur origin.
While some critics say that story elements take a back seat to flashy special effects, it would be difficult to argue that Lucas underwrote the film. The first two thirds of the film consist of nothing but mouths moving, gums flapping.
"I've seen this kind of thing ruin otherwise promising films," says UCLA film professor Leonard Calrissian. "Independent films often turn out too 'talky' because amateur directors are often too in love with their script to cut unnecessary or forced dialogue."
The most common complaint so far is that the film is not very much fun to watch. One walks away from Attack of the Clones wondering for whom it was made. Like most independent/amateur cinema, it is likely that the movie exists mostly for its own sake.
"I've got lots of other friends who do this kind of thing," said one local independent filmmaker. "Every time I run into them, they demand that I watch their latest project. It's getting to the point where I'm avoiding people. I haven't talked to George for over a year."
Unable to pay real actors and having run out of available friends, Lucas had to create many of the characters digitally. In spite of their obvious unreality, these digimuppets do a great deal to mask the awful acting and terrible direction common to such efforts.
There is no word yet whether the owners of the Star Wars trademark and franchise will do with Mr. Lucas. Clearly Attack of the Clones violates more than a dozen heavily-guarded copyrights while creating unsanctioned and [according to some] inconsistent backstory for established Star Wars characters.
In spite of its problems, most audience members agreed that Attack of the Clones was one of the best five fan films they had seen this year. Some even went so far as to compare it with the much-loved The Lego Strikes Back from 1996. Not bad for a first effort.
Inspired by the slightly-warmer-than-luke response to Attack of the Clones, Lucas announced plans to begin work on a sequel- as soon as he can come up with a better title.
[from ridiculopathy.com [ridiculopathy.com]]
Re:The Empire is the USA ? (Score:2, Funny)
Jango Fett is gay! (Score:4, Funny)
So, they definitely HAVE to be made homosexual, because: