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George Lucas May Be Completely Evil 1036

Posted by chrisd
from the historical-revisionism-stinks dept.
gabec writes "Sci-fi Wire is reporting a couple rumors about the changes being made to the original Star Wars trilogy for its next release. That being that Natalie Portman may be being inserted into Episode VI: Return of the Jedi and that universally reviled Jar Jar Binks may be being inserted into Episode IV: A New Hope. May The Force forbid." Mind you this is reported as rumor, but it's so unsurprisingly possible...
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George Lucas May Be Completely Evil

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  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @02:37PM (#3603456)
    You're like abused wives. You keep coming back for more, even though it hurts.
    • by digitalunity (19107) <digitalunity@yahoo . c om> on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @02:45PM (#3603546) Homepage
      I'll take all the punishment George can give out for just a little more Natalie Portman

      :)
    • You're like abused wives. You keep coming back for more, even though it hurts.

      The parent will probably end up at -1 flamebait pretty soon, but it's actually an appropriate sentiment.

      If you don't like what Lucas has done or is going to do (Episode 7 anyone?), just give your money to someone else. Break the cycle. His ego is such that he doesn't care if people hate Jar Jar or any of his other silly CGI insertions. AotC will make him millions and episode 3 will make him millions more, regardless. Just let it be and go focus in on other movies and moviemakers. They'll appreciate your 10$ more than Lucas ever will, I'm sure.
    • In Boston we can get the fans at the Fleetcenter to chant "Wife-beater" at Jason Kidd during a playoff game. Maybe we need to come up with a chant for Lucas to be heard at theaters across the nation.

      "NERD ABU-SER! NERD ABU-SER!"

      Of course any chant with Jar-Jar's name in it wouldn't be worth the breath it expelled...so we'll leave him out of it!
    • by grytpype (53367) on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @03:08PM (#3603811) Homepage
      Yeah, you SW nerds should be on Maury.

      Maury: How did it feel when you saw how much Episode 1 sucked?

      Nerd: Ah felt betrayed, and ah felt abused. He abused me like ah was a wet food stamp!

      Maury: But you stood in line for weeks to be the first nerd to see Episode 2!

      Nerd: [Nods, weeping]

      Maury: Well, why do you keep going back to him?

      Nerd: Because ah LOVE him! I LOVE George Lucas!
    • by matrix29 (259235) on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @09:52PM (#3606638) Homepage
      You're like abused wives. You keep coming back for more, even though it hurts.

      Damn and I was hoping in Episode 3 we find out Jar Jar Binks is actually the thinner version of Jabba the Hut. I figure Jar Jar (once he realized how badly he screwed over the Federation and after he grew a conscience) started over-eating to subsume his growing guilt, started a black-market trading operation to undercut the Empire financially, and finally lost his mind when he started eating his Queen Amidala dancer-substitute. Face it folks - Jar Jar is Jabba the Hut. Once you accept it, all of it makes sense.
  • by bluprint (557000)
    who wants to see the exact same movies re-released anyway? Just rent the tapes....
    • Just rent the tapes....

      You know, I'd buy them, if only I could. But you know what? I can't. I can buy the new versions of 4,5 and 6, but not the original versions. Lucas won't sell the originals anymore. So, no money from me, George.

    • by ralico (446325)
      Well.... it would be nice to have the original content of IV-VI on a legal DVD (as opposed to the bootlegs [dvdfile.com] )

      I, for one, curl my lip every time I see Greedo make that first shot [jax-inter.net]. What was he trying to do?

  • Didn't Leia say, "She died when I was very young." Wait, they're not going to make her a jedi-ghost, are they?
    • If Obi-Wan lied to Leia about her brother then he could have lied about her mother as well.

      That said, Lucas is incredibly naive if he thinks anyone is going to accept Jar-Jar being added to Ep IV. Personally, I think AICN has been fooled yet again.
    • and luke thought his father died when he was very young, too. what's you're bloody point?





      SPOILER
      luke's father isn't dead. he wnet to the dark side and became darth vader.

    • If they can clone thousands of storm troopers, we shouldn't they clone Luke Skywalkers mother, too ?
      This will result in a funny scene:
      Yoda: If he fails everything is lost.
      Obi-Wan ghost: No, there is still his sister.
      And if she gets screwed, we can still clone them 1384 times.
    • like george wont hack that bit out and change it to "she was able to sell a lot of action figures and posters when i was very young."
  • by NetJunkie (56134) <jason...nash@@@gmail...com> on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @02:40PM (#3603474)
    As soon as Lucas said he was waiting for the new three to be released before putting the originals on DVD, I said he was going to do this. What will it be called, Super Special Edition? Speciai Edition Pro? 32-Bit Special Edition Turbo?
  • Surprise, Surprise (Score:2, Interesting)

    by GenericJoe (16255)
    Anyone who is surprised that Lucas is going to re-do the first trilogy, releasing it after episode III probably shouldn't be using a computer to surf the web.

    It'll make a ton of money, and maybe (just maybe) he'll fix his continuity problems.

    GenericJoe
  • George has obviously gone over to the dark side, trying to cause as much dissension and strife as possible among the people.

    So here's the quandary: do we take the bastard out now, or do we try to figure out who the sith lord is?
  • by YaRness (237159) on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @02:41PM (#3603485)
    is here. [aint-it-cool-news.com]

    if the author's command of english is any demonstration of the reliability of his unmentioned sources, there's little to fear about natalie being inserted into the original trilogy.

    however, i would have nothing against jar jar taking greedo's first shot in the chest, allowing han to do the heroic thing and finish him off.

    err, finish off greedo that is, not jar jar.
  • But why??? (Score:4, Insightful)

    by RayChuang (10181) on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @02:41PM (#3603486)
    I'm not sure if this is even a good idea.

    It might work for continuity purposes (in George Lucas' mind), but frankly, most Star Wars fans prefer Episodes IV-VI to be as unchanged as possible even after Episode III is released. Lucas will be accused to overtinkering with the first Star Wars trilogy, and that won't win him friends among old-time Star Wars fandom, that's to be sure.
    • Re:But why??? (Score:5, Insightful)

      by _ph1ux_ (216706) on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @02:56PM (#3603675)
      as much as I love star wars - I cant stand lucas... basically I see him as someone who's whole career is riding on the one good success he had - A new Hope, ep IV....

      He is *not* the genius visionary that all his buddies and hollywood ass kissers like to tell him he is - he just had one really good idea - but now he is just a greedy flipping bastard without imagination and vision. The star wars universe has been built up and expanded upon by the great fans that have loved the original seed that lucas planted and nurtured it into a mature and full concept - the only thing lucas does for the sar wars universe these days is capitalize on it.

      he is not a good director, he is just someone who stumbled onto something that became great - regardless of him. but he keeps his imperial grip on the concept and makes himself more and more into the palpatine we despise....

      /rant
      • . . . the more fans will slip thorugh your fingers.

        Now, all we need is a CGI Peter Cushing [earthlink.net] with a CGI Lucas beard and flannel shirt [starwars.com]. . . .

      • Re:But why??? (Score:5, Insightful)

        by ajs (35943) <ajs@@@ajs...com> on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @04:20PM (#3604593) Homepage Journal
        "[George Lucas] is *not* the genius visionary that all his buddies and hollywood ass kissers like to tell him he is"

        Heh, I always love to hear this kind of uninformed sillyness. It's what keeps me going.

        First off, as for directing, Lucas is good. He directs well, and his visual sense is utterly amazing. He's terrible at some things, and I would never rank him with someone like Kubrik or Hitchcock. There are, however, only a handful of people who can make a movie as physically engaging as episodes IV, V and II. Technically he does a good job.

        But no one sings Lucas' praises solely for his directorial work. The reason that he's refered to as a giant in the industry is the sheer number of times he's changed the way Hollywood works! You may have heard of the names Skywalker Sound, Lucasfilm, Lucas Arts, Pixar, ILM? These are all Lucas companies that have contributed hugely to the modernization of the movie-making industry. Having created any *one* of them would have been an achivement worthy of comment in Hollywood. Having created all of them is frankly stunning.

        There are also less... wholesome things that I credit the man with genius and visionary status for. He forsook pay on episode IV in return for merchandizing rights. He was frankly laughed at for asking for this, but the studio happily gave away the "worthless" merchandizing rights. No studio will ever be able to take that decision lightly again because it was George Lucas who showed Hollywood what those rights were really worth. That money paid to turn ILM and Lucasfilm into forces to be reckoned with in Hollywood and in turn founded Skywalker Sound, Pixar, and lots of other little companies as spinnoffs (can anyone remember the name of the medical imaging company that Pixar spun off?)

        You may or may not like or respect Lucas, and that call is all yours, but I think genius visionary is a title that can be safely awarded to anyone who slaps Hollywood to its senses and ushers in the age of digital effects and later digital film making.
    • Re:But why??? (Score:4, Interesting)

      by crimoid (27373) on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @02:58PM (#3603699)
      I've been a Star Wars fan from day 1. Sure I'm annoyed with Jar Jar, and sure there are moments in EVERY episode that are corny, but I love the story - every version of it.

      Personally I would LOVE for Lucas to tinker with ANY episode that he wants to. Barring a complete rewrite of the story I'll be chomping at the bit to see what layers of the story can be added.

      If he blows it and introduces something new and corny I'll just watch my older VHS copy of the episode, no harm done. If he pulls a rabbit out of the hat and adds more depth, or better effects, or ties the story together better I'll eat it up.

      Star Wars isn't sacred and written in stone. It's just a story, one of the most epic stories ever told. Obviously as time goes on the story will grow (fan fiction, Lucas himself) and evolve (remastering, etc.). Given the advances in technology I'd love to see all of the episodes stiched together seamlessly. How many of us wouldn't want to fiddle with the originals if we were in Lucas' position?
      • by Wind_Walker (83965) on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @04:14PM (#3604545) Homepage Journal
        I do not mean to offend you, but you're exactly the kind of Star Wars fan that Lucas wants. You'll take any shit that he puts on celluloid and eat it right up. Since you say "...I'll eat it up" I assume that means you'll buy the new version of his movies. Wow, another couple billion in his pocket. And if it sucks, then you'll still rent the video and see how bad it sucks; only about 200 million in his pocket.

        Oh, and calling Star Wars one of the most epic stories ever written is pathetic. Read some books for God's sake. Ever heard of The Illiad? The Odyssey? The Maha-Barata? Fucking BEOWULF, for God's sake! Get out more!

  • HEY! (Score:5, Funny)

    by Dirtside (91468) on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @02:41PM (#3603487) Journal
    Jar-Jar is not UNIVERSALLY reviled: the Galactic Senate heartily approved of his proposal to grant Emp^H^H^HChancellor Palpatine emergency powers! Heck, even Anakin seems to like Jar-Jar, and we know what a hothead he can be. Don't you think Anakin would have dismembered Jar-Jar at the first opportunity if JJB was REALLY so reviled?

    Binks: A Future For Your Children. A Future For The Republic. Vote Today.
    • by Kynde (324134) <kynde.iki@fi> on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @02:57PM (#3603691)
      Jar-Jar sure aint "UNIVERSALLY" reviled.
      Hasn't anyone seen the Simpsons episode where the comic store clerk goes to sleep with a life-sized Jar-Jar doll saying "Oh Jar-Jar, no one loves you but me..." .

      Groening couldn't have been more correct there...
    • by jafac (1449) on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @05:50PM (#3605372) Homepage
      I just got an email from George Lucas himself, asking me what I think of his proposed outline for Episode III (he said his outline for II finished up a week after filming started, we all know what a disaster that was, so he's trying to get a headstart on III).

      In III, it is 15 years later. The Clone Wars are in full swing. Chancellor Palpatine's "War on Secessionists" has killed many innocent people, but has failed to bring Count Dooku to justice.
      Amidala has secretly had Anakin's love babies - while Anakin has been called away to fight the "War on Secessionists" with his side kick ObiWan.

      Jar Jar accidentally flips the latch on Amidala's window in her high-rise as she leans on it to look out on the beatiful sunrise one morning (er - I wonder what Jar Jar was doing in Amidala's room in the early morning?). Anakin totally blows his top, and abandons his post, returning to Coruscant, he confronts Jar Jar, who admits that he was "doing" Amidala, and that Luke and Leia are really HIS. Anakin force-grabs Jar Jar, and lightsabers his arms and legs off, then shoves him out the same window, and before dropping him 5000 feet, tears his torso to shreds.

      In the meantime, ObiWan is instructed by Yoda to NOT confront Anakin, but instead, to protect Luke and Leia from his growing rage. So ObiWan successfully evades Anakin on Coruscant, abducts the children, and spirits them off to Bail Organa's home planet of Alderaan. To have him adopt them as the Jedi's ace in the hole against the growing menace of their loose cannon, Anakin.
      Anakin finds out and decides that the Jedi council is plotting against him, and needs to be destroyed. And so, he destroys them. Three escape. Yoda, Mace, and a new Jedi, Ell Ron Hubbardi played by John Travolta. A long hunting sequence plays out where Mace Windu and Ell Ron lead Anakin on a wild goose chase through the streets of Coruscant in a speeder, while Mace and Ell Ron philosophise about the meaning of life, the force, phenomenology, etc.

      While they stop for food at a "Space Denny's", Mace goes to the bathroom, and Anakin finally catches up to Ell Ron, and uses the Jedi Mind Trick (TM) to convince him that Mace is evil and that they should destroy eachother. Mace comes out of the bathroom, and they have the lightsaber duel to end all lightsaber duels. Properly disposed of, Anakin now ignores the two and pursues Yoda. But by now, the trail is cold, and he ends up on Alderaan, looking for the kids, so he can destroy them. ObiWan finds him first, and they duel nearly to the death, and Anakin is plunged into a volcano.

      Mace has destroyed Ell Ron Hubbardi, and it is in the remains of the shattered high-rise that was the Space Denny's that the emporer encounters him, all pissed off and shit. The emporer turns him to the dark side, and has him change his name to Darth Vader. The emporer says that he will tell everyone that Darth Vader is really Anakin, rescued from the Volcano, and rebuilt with off the shelf cyborg parts.

      Yoda catches up with Obi Wan, and tells him that they've got to change plans a bit, because having BOTH twins on Alderaan is a single-point of failure, so Obi Wan takes Luke to Tatooine, and sells him as a slave for a cheap hooker. Luke is eventually sold through several owners, who decide to get rid of him as soon as they find out how much he whines, until he ends up in the same fate as his grandmother Shmi. Eventually, Owen comes to love Luke and sets him free, and even stops molesting him - but continues to keep him on as a farmhand. Yoda, in the meantime, has hidden himself on Dagobah.

      Oh yeah, and one twist he wants to add.
      The Space Denny's actually gathers roadkill from all around Coruscant. People who have fallen out of windows, or their speeder's seatbelts weren't fastened, etc. And grinds them up as mystery meat. So Mace and Ell Ron were actually eating bits of Amidala and Jar Jar. And when Anakin stopped to warp Ell Ron's mind, he also took a bite of Mace's hamburger, containing bits of Amidala. In this way, Amidala's body became part of the force, and this is the route through which she becomes a ghost at the end of the re-made episode VI. Also, they'll have to reshoot the scenes where Vader takes off his mask in Episode V and VI (and his ghost scene at the end of VI) to replace him with Windu. This is also how Jar Jar's ghost ends up in Episode IV, because he was eaten by Mace, who was Darth Vader. Jar Jar's ghost will be in the scene where Obi Wan is killed, he'll tell Luke; "Luke! Meesa tink yoosa better get a runnin boss" - but he won't admit to being his true father, because that would present an obvious continutiy error with Episode V. In fact, it will never be revealed to Luke who his real father is, and when he pulls off Vader's mask at the end and sees that it's Mace, he'll chalk up the skin color difference to volcanic scorching or something.

      - - -
      I'm not sure what to say to George. I mean, I think he sent it to me by mistake - I actually opened it by mistake, because the subject line was "Enlarge your penis 500%!" -
      I think it's a great idea that hes getting a headstart, and I kind of like this better than where it looked like it was headed.
  • by rde (17364)
    So this means that our beloved RotJ is going to be ruined by annoying creatures added in to appeal to the kids? Nooooooo!

    Next thing you know, he'll follow it up with a movie called Jar Jar : The Battle for Naboo, which'll be inane, cute and a travesty of... oh, wait.
  • No need for hysteria (Score:5, Interesting)

    by ShawnDoc (572959) on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @02:41PM (#3603490) Homepage
    The main rumor is that Portman will film a "flashback" scene to be inserted into ROTJ when Luke asks Leia if she remembers her mother. (Implying that Leia was born a few years before Luke)

    Personally, I like the idea of this. It helps tie all 6 movies together and makes them seem like the series they are supposed to be. I mean, its not like he's totally changing the movie like he did with ANH and the Greedo scene.

    • I wonder, could somebody actually watch all the movies in sequence without nitpicking the last 3 to death between the story and the special effects (or lack of).
    • (Implying that Leia was born a few years before Luke)


      But then how could they be twins? That would be one heck of a labor!
    • by Cheeko (165493) on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @03:14PM (#3603859) Homepage Journal
      Except that Luke and Leia are twins. My guess is that in Episode 3, Obi-Wan takes Luke and Amadala takes Leia and they hide them, raise them etc. Likely Leia remembers her real mother cause she lived with her for a short time before her mother dies.
  • Does Lucas really have a legal right to change my copies of the Original and Special Edition Trilogies?

    I suppose he considers this a bugfix release. . .

  • by tswinzig (210999) on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @02:42PM (#3603494) Journal
    ...make changes to his own movie!

    • How dare he make changes to his own movies?
      Once an artist releases a work, it becomes a much a property of the audience as of the artist. If he has the legal right to change it later (say, after it has become wildly popular?), and he does so, that is of course his business. But he shouldn't be surprised if the audience does not accept the revised work, nor if the audience villfies him for so doing.

      sPh

      • But he shouldn't be surprised if the audience does not accept the revised work

        Oh yeah, how much do you want to bet that these DVDs with new footage will sell like hotcackes ?
  • I'll admit it, I really did enjoy the original Star Wars Trilogy.

    However, Lucas just didn't figure out that he should've quit while he was ahead. So we get bullshit like Episode I. What an utter disappointment. That was the last new Star Wars movie that I'll ever be tricked into seeing. What remains is only the manifestation of Lucas's desire to ride the wave of merchandising income driven by the sheer inertia of the franchise. The only people that I really see as enjoying the new breed of Star Wars movies are those who are in denial of its poor quality, those who refuse to believe that the best days of their favorite Sci-Fi adventure series is behind them.

    Sorry, folks. All good things must come to an end.

  • by crumbz (41803)
    Why is he altering the originals? To screw with our collective mind? It's like removing words from the dictionary in 1984. He is a very bad man, IMHO.

    • Re:Why? (Score:5, Funny)

      by cjpez (148000) on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @02:56PM (#3603681) Homepage Journal
      It's like removing words from the dictionary in 1984.

      lol. Right. It's imperative that we ensure our fiction is as absolutely accurate as possible. How will future generations know what might really have happened on Tatooine if it would have been a real place? Who can our children trust when they need to find out how the Rebel Alliance could possibly have destroyed the first Death Star assuming that either of those things existed in the first place.

      Please. Okay, yeah, Lucas may be a jerk for changing stuff around (if, indeed, he ends up doing so), but hell, don't liken it to 1984. It's just a movie.

  • fixing what's wrong with Episodes I & II. I'm sure there's more extra footage around, and it wouldn't be too hard to shore up the plot in those two installments. I would pay to see The Phantom Edit on the big screen, and I'm sure we could even completely replace Jake Droid with a more lifelike computer animation.

    Certainly the "oops . . . I just blew up a fleet" scene could be repaired.
  • "Mind you this is reported as rumor, but it's so unsurprisingly possible... "

    That gives it away.

    Score:-1, Troll

  • YHBT. YHL. HAND.

    I wish that you people would at least *think* before you post online rumors like this one. Jar Jar in Episode 4? It takes place 30 years after Episode 3 ends, and the Gungans have a life span of only 25 years (from Episode 1). And where could Portman get worked into the plot of Jedi? There are no lines in the whole movie that reference a mother figure, only "I am your father". If anywhere, it would be in Empire, where Luke is talking to Obi Won, asking about his parents and finds out about his sister.

    • Luke finds out about his sister in Jedi, not Empire. (Although it is hinted at in Obi-Wan and Yoda's private conversation in Empire after Luke takes off from Dagobah.)

      The lines referring to the mother are in the conversation between Luke and Leia in Jedi. Lucas always said he added this scene in because he intended to make their mother a significant character in the prequels. I'm speculating added footage would involve a flashback on Leia's part.

  • Personally, I liked most of the changes and enhancements of the "Special Editions" (except for Greedo shooting first).

    I thought it was great they Jabba was added to A New Hope, and I look forward to seeing Natalie Portman in Return of the Jedi, but pleeeeease no more Jar Jar.
    • i don't care so much about greedo shooting first, when you compare it to that horrile jabba scene. i had almost managed to rationalize it away, thinking, "well he must have put on a few pounds between movies." after all, isn't it supposed to be several years in between episodes 4 and 6?

      then i saw episode 1 and realized that george lucas just didn't see how hideous that scene was because his colon was blocking his view.

    • I thought it was great the way Jabba was added to A New Hope


      For story continuity reasons, maybe. But the way they physically did it was awfully clunky. They had shot a scene of Han walking around a big fat guy wearing a weird costume. Not "Jabba" enough I guess. So later when they CG add Jabba, the body sizes are off. So Han has to walk on Jabba's tail to walk around him. Bad, clunky. OK, this guy wants to kill me, let me walk on him, but then again the CG Jabba doesn't have a reaction at all anyway to this guy walking on him, so what the hell. Worse, they have to CG elevate Han, so all of a sudden, he just pops up maybe 2 feet, then pops down, no natural ovement at all. Very clunky.


      I also remember, maybe in a comic, that Luke and Leia kissed. Kinda icky since they're brother and sister. Just shows that Lucas never really thought the whole thing out, kinda shooting from the hip. That's not a bad thing, just don't confuse him with a story visionary.

  • by stubear (130454) on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @02:45PM (#3603537)
    ...that wants to eliminate copyrights so ANYONE can make changes like this on a whim?

    Yeah, count my vote on that one.
    • by mblase (200735)
      Many (not all) of us *do* want general freedom to modify the original films in this manner.

      We also want to have the choice of retaining the film in its original presentation.

      Lucas seems bent on changing the "Star Wars" movies a bit more with every major release so that the only way to get the original films may one day be to buy the VHS copies on eBay somewhere.

      Pfah to that. Not *everyone* wants to see the films "enhanced" with new footage, and I'd like to have the choice of not seeing it when I watch the film.
    • Every time you release an altered version of a previously copyrighted work, you can claim a NEW copyright. So if ANH gets re-edited and re-released in 2002, it gets a fresh copyright date -- 2002 -- without having to actually be a new work from scratch.

      I'm not sure of the legal standing of this wrt to the original version, but for practical purposes it's probably effective as a method to extend copyright forever.

  • Bar Scene (Score:5, Funny)

    by falser (11170) on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @02:47PM (#3603573) Homepage
    I think I'd be happy with this news if they decide to replace the alien that was bullying Luke with Jar Jar, and instead of Obiwan cutting off his arm he decides to rid the Star Wars universe of him once and for all:

    JJ: "Meesa wanted man in 12 systems!!!"

    Luke: "I'll be careful"

    JJ: "Yousa be dead like a da Gungans!!!"

    (swoosh! - lops off his head)
  • I might skip watching the SW's movies...they've gotten "lazy" in the creativity department anyway.
  • by Papa Legba (192550) on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @02:49PM (#3603593)

    First I want to say that any lengthy insert would be a disaster. I think their is no argument at all on that subject.

    I can , however, see where a small insert would be helpfull to the story line. Something like a shot of jar jar watching luke meet obiwan and saying "the circle starts again" or something similar IANASW( I am not a script writer). A small item to help tie the first three with the next three. With the way that these movies were filmed, in reverse order, Something like this may be necesary to make them feel as a whole series again.

    The other possibility is that he needs to add elements to tie the last three to the middle three. For an example having queen amadala show in return to say that she was never gone but hiding out and once the emporer is defeated we need to go do this. He may have excluded these parts in the original filming becuase it would have created a cliff hanger in the movie that would not be resolved for 30 to 40 years. Now he can add it and start the work, striving for a completed nine movies over three sets of three.

    The point is a little dash of extra may not be so bad, have to see it to judge. Let's just hope this is not done as some marketting stunt to get us all buy the movies AGAIN.

    • by doorbot.com (184378) on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @03:32PM (#3604003) Journal
      He may have excluded these parts in the original filming becuase it would have created a cliff hanger in the movie that would not be resolved for 30 to 40 years. Now he can add it and start the work, striving for a completed nine movies over three sets of three.

      My understanding was that the trilogies were supposed to be separate. Yes, there is a background story which flows between the nine, but each trilogy is (I guess) about a different generation. But hasn't Lucas said he wasn't going to make the third trilogy.

      Which brings me to my argument. I have yet to see any convincing evidence that there ever was a trilogy of trilogies. It seems to me that Lucas is just winging it, knowing Star Wars fanatics will blindly follow where their messiah takes them (call it fundamentalism if you want). He may have had the original trilogy in mind when he made the Ep IV (debatable) but I find it extremely hard to believe he had the entire series of nine in mind. Now, however, he's in a position to claim he had the whole thing in mind the whole time, and who is really going to question him? SW zealots take his word as Truth, and nobody else really cares.

      I'm actually planning on seeing AOTC tonight, so we'll see if Lucas manages to impress. I have the advantage of having no hopes that it will... so perhaps this movie will be rated on its own merit and not the merit of the supposed "universe" which "Lucas created." Newsflash: Lucas didn't do a hell of a lot... writers like Timothy Zahn did the great work extending the SW universe. Lucas just gets the credit.

      I'm a former SW fan (fanatic, perhaps, but only a bit beyond the "fan" level). Maybe that makes me a bit disgruntled and angry of how Lucas has fleshed out the plot to "his" movies -- that's fine if they're his movies, but you'd think he'd have the self-interest to make sure the new ones didn't suck. Episode I was just another example of Lucas's complete lack of talent.

      As Han says, "I call it luck."
      To which Obi-Wan answers, "In my experience, there's no such thing as luck."

      Well... who do you like more? I always liked Han.
  • Since Lucas claims to be waiting for the current trilogy to be complete before releasing IV, V, and VI on DVD, it looks like we'll end up being stuck with the latest and greatest bastardization of the originals. Time to invest in a laser disc player.

    Maybe there will be a hidden feature that will let you play the movie in the original, uncut version.

  • Tragic (Score:4, Funny)

    by Washizu (220337) <bengarvey@comca[ ]net ['st.' in gap]> on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @02:50PM (#3603610) Homepage
    How dare he ruin the series by making changes to it after it was released.

    Ooh a new halflife patch!
  • If they're doing all of this revision, I hope JarJar officially goes over to the Dark side and becomes kind of a mini-me to Vader. Call him Darth JarJar. In Episode IV - Death Star Officer to Vader - "(insert new footage of JarJar)The two of you...are the last of the Jedi Order...later, ObiWan can fight BOTH a digitally inserted JarJar and Darth at the same time in a two-on-one fight like in Ep 1. Etc, Etc, the possibilities are endless...
  • ...is that R2D2 and C3PO's memories are accidentally wiped during a bungled attempt to upgrade their firmware in Flash ROM...
  • by DanMcS (68838) on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @02:51PM (#3603624)

    You know, I hear that if you cross the International Date Line thrice, backwards, at the equator, and then find the proper site in Taiwan, you can get a copy of Episode 3 before Lucas has a chance to mess it up...

  • to get good ideas from millions of fans.
    Here is my addition to those scripts:
    don't touch the original trilogy, write a new script and do episodes 7, 8 and 9.
    american director are too lazy when it comes to stories: sequels and re-make.
  • I thought Jar Jar dies in Ep III. Maybe now he is just lobotamized and he forgets to shave. No more "Meesa please", just growls and undiscernable barks. Jar Jar is dead, long live Jar Jar!

    -Sean
  • by Washizu (220337) <bengarvey@comca[ ]net ['st.' in gap]> on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @02:53PM (#3603646) Homepage
    At least this opens the possibility that Lucas could redo Episode I.
  • Lucas wants to erase the cultural memory that the first film was good, the second better, and it all went into the toilet after that.

    Having learned from the previous Special Editions that it is possible to make a good film worse, he will now bring all the films to the same level of quality, thus shutting down any future debates over which movies were worse than the others.

    Unfortunately, his benchmark for quality seems to be that late-70's made-for-TV Wookie holiday special.

    Besides, re-editing the original films could make them better, you know (it worked for the video/cable release of Battlefield Earth. Right?)
  • by PhxBlue (562201) on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @02:54PM (#3603650) Homepage Journal

    May I suggest a change of motto?

    Rumors for Nerds. Tabloid that Thinks it Matters.

  • Once done with all 6 edisodes, he would go back and make themed versions. Say, replace the Ewoks with Cabbage Patch kids! Or switch the Gungans with the stormtroopers. R rated version with topless Portman and Fisher (maybe even in the same scene!). Star Wars: The Celebrity Version- latest boy band as Jedis, latest girl singer as lead female, couple of rappers as bad guys, etc. My favorite switch would be to switch Admiral Ackbar with Captain Picard, but leave the voice the same.

    On topic- Lucas has always said he thinks of movies as never being done, they are abandoned. Though I think one can end up tinkering too much and screwing up (Jedi's new end song didn't do it for me).
  • Who gives a damn? (Score:5, Interesting)

    by jcoleman (139158) on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @02:58PM (#3603705)
    The movies are the sole intellectual property of GEORGE LUCAS. They do not belong to you. They do not belong to the fans. They do not belong to the merchandisers. They belong to LucasFilm, which in turn belongs to George Lucas.

    These six movies are a saga. They tell a long, complex story with lots of twists and turns. When Lucas comes up with what he thinks is a good idea, he puts it in the mix. If he has to change a couple of things around to fit it in, he does. Big deal. It's not like he's going to change his mind on Darth Vader being Luke's father.

    He can do whatever he wants with his movies, and personally I think he's doing a fantastic job. All six movies will fit together as a cohesive whole when it's all said and done.

    This ain't Shakespeare, folks. Even Tolkien went back and corrected some continuity problems after LotR was published. So get over it.
    • by Servo5678 (468237) on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @05:01PM (#3604995)
      It's not like he's going to change his mind on Darth Vader being Luke's father.

      The Year: 2007. The Empire Strikes Back: Ultimate Edition hits the screens.

      In a controversially updated scene, Luke follows Darth Vader to the Cloud City of Bespin, where at the climactic moment of the legendary lightsaber duel, Vader says...

      "No, Luke... meesa es your father!!!!!"

    • by marick (144920)
      The movies are the sole intellectual property of GEORGE LUCAS.

      Ok, I agree, George Lucas owns those movies. But the ideas he put down on film in episodes 4-6 are our common experience. They are part of our culture. We know what happened in the first star wars trilogy and we know what didn't happen.

      I'm from Boston, and I know that in 1986, the Red Sox lost the world series on a grounder through the legs of Bill Buckner. I also know that the Red Sox DID NOT win the world series, have not since 1918. As much as I wish it could be otherwise, this is the way the world is.

      Fiction is otherwise, but it's still a shared common experience. We all know Luke lost his hand in episode 5. We all know Han was encased in carbonite. We all know Yoda dies in episode 6. These are as much facts for us as the 1986 world series or the Apollo moon landing or 9/11/2001 or Tiennanmen Square.

      Now, suppose George Lucas could rewrite history. Would we approve? No, of course not. This is, in many ways, no different. Jar Jar Binks was not in "A New Hope". But now Lucas is saying "No, no, I can change history. I own this Intellectual Property and can do as I wish with it.". In short, yes, he CAN make a mockery of our common heritage. I, for one, certainly hope he doesn't.

      Episodes 4-6 stand on their own as a saga of epic proportions. They live on in my mind as memories of happy days in the past, before the dark times, before Jar Jar. I only hope my children will have the opportunity to feel the same way.

  • Lucas also reportedly told E! Online that the reason droids C-3P0 and R2-D2 have no memory of Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader is because their memories have been wiped prior to the beginning of Episode IV, the original Star Wars movie. "[C-3P0's] memory system has been erased, and so has R2's," Lucas told the site. "So they don't remember anything from the first trilogy. I'm telling you something from Episode III, but I shouldn't be telling you that, but I think most of the fans already know that."

    I wish I couldn't remember anything form the first trilogy either!

    Seriously, though ... it reminds me of one of the Chritopher Reeve Superman movies, where Superman erases Lois' memory, so she won't know for the sequel. Stupid then, stupid now.

    George, why couldn't you have died in the 80s and left us imagining how great the movies could have been?

  • by rob_from_ca (118788) on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @03:01PM (#3603732) Homepage
    Personally, I don't care what he does to his movie. The sad part for me is that all the work done on restoring footage and reworking original soundtracks is all thrown into these modified special editions. The _original_ films now only exist as worn VHS tapes. The first special editions were different; not necessarily better, but different. Any further rounds of modification will be different still.

    It's sad that the original films have become lost to consumers, and presumably will stay lost. How about if he releases the original, restored (but unaltered) movies on DVD first. Then he's free to add Jar Jar, Natalie Portman, Samuel Jackson, Matt LeBlanc or whoever the hell else he wants to Episodes IV-VI.
    • The _original_ films now only exist as worn VHS tapes.

      That's odd. I could swear my laserdiscs were of the original films. Aside from the "A New Hope" title, that is. I hear that got inserted in the years between the original theatrical release and the video release. Damn, I wish I knew what happened to the ancient bootleg VHS copy that my family used to have way back when.

    • If you are careful about the DVD mastering, you can do both, actually. Check out the Terminator 2 [imdb.com]: Ultimate Edition DVD sometime.

      It's a two disk set (or two sided disk, depending on when you bought it). On the first side/disk are three different edits of the film: the original edit, the "special edition" they did for cable a few years back, and an extended edition (hidden behind an easter egg) that includes a few more scenes that aren't even in the special edition. What's great about it is everyone gets what they want: Cameron [imdb.com] can deliver the recut version he likes best, and fans can see the other two versions as well. (Cameron's preference apparently is the middle version, which is why the longest one is hidden behind an easter egg).

      How do they jam three separate edits of a 152 minute movie on one DVD? They don't. They take advantage of the seamless branching functionality that has been in the DVD format all along, and re-use the sections of the flick that are unchanged from one edit to the other.

      Now, the question is: is Lucas is smart enough to do this?

  • by jms (11418) on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @03:12PM (#3603842)
    Here's an idea.

    Remember the scene where Greedo confronts Han in the cantena. Now we all know that in the original Star Wars, Han shoots first, but for the "special edition", Greedo shoots first, and his shot hits the wall next to Han.

    Imagine Jar Jar sitting next to Han. Greedo shoots first, blowing Jar Jar's head off. Han shoots second, killing Greedo.

    Everyone wins.
  • by smackdotcom (136408) on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @03:19PM (#3603891)
    Let's face it, the moment "Attack of the Clones" hits the video market someone's going to be chopping out the annoying C-3PO "comedy" bits. Any changes that Lucas makes to the originals will find themselves weeded out just as quickly by the die-hard fans. Along those lines, I'd like to be the first to suggest the naming scheme for the impending fan edits:

    Episode I: The Phantom Edit

    Epidose II: Attack of the Edit

    Episode III: TBA

    Episode IV: A New Edit

    Episode V: The Edit Strikes Back

    Episode VI: The Return of the Edit

    And of course Portman is going to end up a glowing ghost beside Anakin, Obi-Wan and the little green dude. Heck, it wouldn't surprise me if Lucas digitally inserts (a suitably make-up aged) Hayden Christensen instead of the guy who's playing Anakin now. Long story short--don't worry about it. The technology is there and the devout Star Wars afficiandos (you know, the guys who make their own vacuum-formed stormtrooper armour?) will have a definitive FAN-tastic version circulating out on the Net before you know it.
  • by MagikSlinger (259969) on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @03:20PM (#3603904) Homepage Journal
    Jar-Jar and Bail Organa looking up at the ominous new star in the heavens.

    Jar-Jar: "Issa thata new moona, Bail Organa?"

    CUT TO Death Star interior as the Planet Pulverizer(TM) fires and hits Alderaan.

    CUT TO Jar-Jar binks being hidiously vaporized on Alderaan in a cruel twist of fate for giving the empire its power.

    So you see, people, it might not be that bad...
  • by Dephex Twin (416238) on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @03:30PM (#3603988) Homepage
    I don't know if George Lucas would want to do this, but what if the DVD had all three versions (or at least the original and the newest with both sets of new stuff)? That way, our beloved original is not lost, but there's some fun added stuff.

    Would there be any harm in doing this?

    mark
  • by Picass0 (147474) on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @04:08PM (#3604470) Homepage Journal
    So now every year or two you'll have to patch Star Wars to keep it current. SP1 will patch inconsistancies with caracter's memories, age, and correct lightsaber colors!
  • by Dirtside (91468) on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @04:14PM (#3604542) Journal
    Back in 1977, right after Star Wars became a huge hit, Lucas had said that he did indeed have the rest of the story more or less sketched out, and that he thought it would take 9 movies to do it. Heck, originally he wanted to put the entire Anakin cycle in ONE movie, but it was way too long. He wasn't expecting Star Wars to succeed, he just wanted to make a fun movie. Then it hit it big and he said, "Hmm..." Anyway, originally he thought it would take 9 movies, but a short while later he realized that he didn't have enough story for 9 -- 6 movies would do. Ever since then is the oft-repeated myth that there's going to be 3 more movies after Episode III finishes. If there are, it's not going to be part of the Anakin cycle (well, naturally, since Anakin dies in ROTJ).

    I don't discount the possibility that there could be more Star Wars movies after Episode III, but I personally don't think Lucas will want to put out the effort. Remember, he's going to be 61 years old when Episode 3 comes out, and productions of this magnitude take a huge amount of effort. I suppose he could act in more of a supervisory role and let someone else handle more of the day-to-day duties, but, the question of Lucas' talent aside, would such movies FEEL like "Star Wars"? Hard to see, the future is. Not to mention the fact that the story arc would be more or less unrelated to Eps. 1-6, and we probably wouldn't have the same emotional attachments we've formed with the characters we already know.

    It has occurred to me that an "interim" movie would be possible, something that takes place between episodes 3 and 4 (call it "Star Wars: Rise of the Empire" with no "Episode N" part) that bridges the 20-year gap... maybe giving some details of the Empire's atrocities, Luke and Leia's upbringings, maybe Han's background, etc. Just a thought of my own.
    • by Dirtside (91468) on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @04:42PM (#3604801) Journal
      As an addendum to the above post, here's a quote from the Star Wars FAQ [starwars.com] on the official Star Wars website:
      # Episode VII and Beyond

      1. Wasn't Star Wars going to be nine or more parts? Will sequels be made set after Return of the Jedi?

      Early on in the saga's development, some thought was given to have a trilogy set after Return of the Jedi. George Lucas has long since changed his mind, and the entire Star Wars saga will now encompass six episodes, starting with The Phantom Menace, and ending with Return of the Jedi. There will be no future Star Wars films set after Return of the Jedi.

  • And now (Score:5, Funny)

    by The Cat (19816) on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @04:18PM (#3604577)
    From the home office in Anchorage, Alaska, the TOP TEN PLACES TO ADD JAR-JAR IN EPISODE 4:

    10. Orbiting Tatooine in the opening scene.
    9. Sweeping the hallway on the Princess' ship right before the stormtroopers cut through the door
    8. In the first escape pod from the Princess' ship
    7. Standing behind Obi-Wan at the bar
    6. Under the table during Greedo and Han's conversation
    5. Admiring the Millenium Falcon from the doorway just prior to its departure
    4. Running a lemonade stand on Alderaan
    3. Last (almost) through the blast doors
    2. Porkins' co-pilot

    ..and the NUMBER ONE place for Jar-Jar in Episode 4:

    1. In the exhaust shaft!
  • R2D2 Memory (Score:3, Funny)

    by bigdavex (155746) on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @04:18PM (#3604580)

    Lucas also reportedly told E! Online that the reason droids C-3P0 and R2-D2 have no memory of Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader is because their memories have been wiped prior to the beginning of Episode IV, the original Star Wars movie. "[C-3P0's] memory system has been erased, and so has R2's," Lucas told the site. "So they don't remember anything from the first trilogy. I'm telling you something from Episode III, but I shouldn't be telling you that, but I think most of the fans already know that."

    That explains a lot. R2 doesn't fly in episodes 4-6 because he forgot he can.
  • by Bowie J. Poag (16898) on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @05:21PM (#3605165) Homepage


    Episode IV: Jar Jar steps in Jawa poo.

    Episode V: Jar Jar steps in Jabba the Hut's poo.

    Episode VI: Jar Jar steps in Ewok poo.

    I just think Lucas is trying to insert "poo" analogies in his films. Pretty soon, Vader will be re-dubbed to refer to his army of "stormpoopers". Han Solo will be encased in poop instead of carbonite, AT-ATs will step in poop, and and the climax of the saga will be when Vader gets unmasked, only to say "Poop, I am your faaaa-tha."

    Save The Planet - Nuke California,
  • by GoNINzo (32266) <GoNINzo@y a h oo.com> on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @05:25PM (#3605192) Homepage Journal
    There's going to be an extra scene included in the DVD release of EMPIRE STRIKES BACK coming up next year! Basically, it expands on the scene where Vader reveals his fatherhood to Luke, and ties up some loose ends created with the release of Episode 1.

    INT: BESPIN GANTRY - MOMENTS LATER:

    A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader, chops off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.

    Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.
    Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!
    Darth Vader: No... I am your father!
    Luke: No, it's not true! It's impossible.
    Darth Vader: Search your feelings... you know it to be true...
    Luke: NO!
    Darth Vader: Yes, it is true... and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?
    Luke: Threepio?
    Darth Vader: Yes... Threepio... I built him... when I was 7 years old...
    Luke: No...
    Darth Vader: Seven years old? And what have you done? Look at yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp...
    Luke: I destroyed your precious Death Star!
    Darth Vader: When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship!
    Luke: Well, it's not my fault...
    Darth Vader: Oh, here we go... "Poor me... my father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday... boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith... waahhh wahhh!"
    Luke: Shut up...
    Darth Vader: You're a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had exterminated the Jedi knights!
    Luke: I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon.
    Darth Vader: Oh, for the love of the Emperor... 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open... Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer... right here, baby!
    {Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.}
    Darth Vader: I was wrong... You're not my kid... I don't know whose you are, but you sure ain't mine...
    {Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft.}
    {Darth Vader looks after him.}
    Darth Vader: Get a haircut!

  • by OneWeirdFish (582271) on Wednesday May 29, 2002 @06:00PM (#3605443)
    Unfortunately, Lucas won't stop at the Special Edition. After the release of Episode III ("Ani, Get Your Gungan") he plans to go back and further modify the original trilogy. Here are a few other of the rumored changes straight from the brain of one weird Fish. Special Special Edition (2008). * Jar Jar is digitally inserted into every scene in Ep4, Ep5, and Ep6. * Stormtroopers carry walkie-talkies instead of blasters. (Hey, they never hit anything important anyway.) * Luke's haircut is made presentable, but now he looks like "Hanson." * Ian McDiarmid replaces Clive Revill in the Emperor-hologram scene in Ep5, except now is a CGI construct less believeable than bikini pinups of Lara Croft. * Han Solo's Special Edition line, "It's all right, I can see a lot better now" is replaced with "It's all right, I never had hibernation sickness, I was only fooling." * Aunt Beru's looped lines are redubbed by Fran Drescher. * The sweeping John Williams asteroid theme is replaced by the music from the 1979 arcade game "Asteroids." Ultra Special Special Edition (2012) * Chewbacca is digitally removed from every shot and replaced with Jar Jar Binks. Han Solo's line "It's not wise to upset a Wookiee" is replaced with "It's not wise to upset a Gungan." * Footage is added of Imperial Academy forces being trained in weapons use by Don Knotts. * Digital lip-sync technology is used to change Luke's line "Nooo-ooo-ooo-oooooo!" into "Yippee!" * To make it more obvious that Senator/Chancellor Palpatine is really the Emperor in disguise, a set of Groucho glasses is added to every shot of the Emperor. To every shot of Palpatine is added a halo. * The Wampa Ice Creature is now a cameo role played by Shaquille O'Neal, complete with musical number and dancing girls in skimpy fur bikinis. The scene goes on tour as the "Wampa Ice Capades." * The entire John Williams score is scrapped and replaced with Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon." Some fanboys claim it fits with spooky synchronicity in certain scenes, usually after the imbibement of several non-prescription herbal remedies. Incredibly Special Ultra Re-release Special Special Edition (2025) * Jar Jar Binks is made a Jedi Knight. * Jar Jar Binks destroys the Death Star. * Jar Jar Binks is shown to be a cunning and foresighted adversary who allowed himself to be manipulated by Palpatine into proposing legislation to create the Imperial Army. Says Jar Jar in Episode 2, "Revenge of Jar Jar," "Nowsa meesa has a eeeevil Emperor where meesa want!" * Luke Skywalker is digitally erased from the picture and replaced with a member of the 2025 Swedish Bikini Team. * C-3PO is re-dubbed by Dennis Franz, who plays the Brooklyn-born Lt. Sipowicz from "NYPD Blue." * R2-D2 is given the BFG from Doom XII and goes on a rampage in Cloud City to rescue C-3PO's disconnected parts. * Han Solo no longer accidentally activates Boba Fett's jetpack to send him careening into the Sarlacc Pit. Instead, Han indicates that Boba Fett's shoe is untied, whereupon the bounty hunter looks down, trips over his own foot, shoots himself in the neck, gets tangled up in his own grappling hook cord, and says "D'oh!" a la Homer Simpson. Fett then windmills his arms wildly on the edge of the skiff, falls into a batch of wet cement, and explodes with near-nuclear force. Han Solo then quips, "The fool! He doesn't even have shoelaces." * Governor Tarkin, Han Solo, and Jabba the Hutt replaced with an aging Mike Myers doing Dr. Evil, Austin Powers, and Fat Bastard, respectively. The Ewoks are replaced with Mini-Mes.
  • When they had no money, the quality was "better". As they progressively get more money, quality dives, to the point of purposefully going back and wrecking the few things they did have right in order to increase profits. Imagine Star wars Episode IV version 3.1B... if they had to re-release the movie 5 or 6 times to make all the necessary adjustments for the series to actually flow together. Imagine Star Wars controlling 45% of the movie market, fighting off monopoly lawsuits left and right, and a director that owns an island somewhere in a galaxy far far away...
    sir_haxalot

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