Warner Bros. plans 'Superman vs. Batman' Movie

ReadParse writes "The Sacramento Bee is running an AP story about Warner Bros' plans to produce a Batman vs. Superman movie. It's kind of hard to imagine anybody but Christopher Reeve as the Man of Steel -- somebody check Michael Keaton's schedule."

Lacking something important.....

[Lord_Slepnir]

I think they'd get more money with a Catwoman vs. Wonder Woman movie. Unless this new one has a lot of Kristen Dunst in the rain.....

Use Reeve anyway

[Uhh_Duh]

I think they should use Reeve anyway and just let batman wail on him for 2 hours.

Yeah, right.

[Dirtside]

Batman, Batman.
Parents were killed by the Joker-man.
What's he like? It's not important.
Batman.

Is he a hero? Or a vigilante?
When he fights crime, is he allowed?
Or does he become a criminal too?
Nobody knows. Batman.

Superman, Superman.
Superman hates Batman.
They have a fight. Superman tears Batman into tiny little billionare chunks, because he's FUCKING INVULNERABLE.
Superman wins.

(etc.)

Wesley Willis!

[John Biggabooty]

Why Superman VS Batman? Wesley Willis whooped both their asses. Here is a great movie idea. A Godzilla with Bill Gates' face fights a giant Tux the Penguin. Call it Gateszilla VS. Torvalds! Rock over London! Rock on, Chicago! Diet Pepsi, Uh-huh!

I'm going straight to hell

[Mike Schiraldi]

It's kind of hard to imagine anybody but Christopher Reeve as the Man of Steel

Well, I guess they could just put kryptonite in every scene.

Eh?

[American AC in Paris]

from the man-of-steal-vs-the-dark-knight dept.

...Hamburgler vs. Batman?

Hulk vs. Superman: from the Internet Oracle

[Creosote]

Forget the movies. The best, funniest treatment of a superhero face-off ever was the Internet Oracle's response a few years ago [wmin.ac.uk] to a query about who would win in a fight between Superman and the Hulk.

"Hulk will impale Superman on sentence fragment!"

They don't make Net humor like that any more.

Re:How is this a fight?

[swagr]

Superman also flew faster than light to go back in time.

1. Time travel gives him an advantage.
2. The work required to accelerate an object with mass to the speed of light is infinite. So Superman isn't just "Really REALLY strong", he's "REALLY REALLY REALLY..." strong.
3. The universe doesn't seem to mind when Superman breaks the laws of physics.

Crappy plot, I think.

[MattRog]

Batman: I finally found the people that killed my parents! Prepare to die! :holds up BatGun:
Superman, swooping in: I'm sorry Bruc-- I mean 'Bat-Man'. I can't let you kill them, that would be wrong.
Batman: Oh shut up you tight-wearing pansy! :looks at own tights: Ok, well at least I make this look good!
Superman: After all we've been through together! :wipes tear away: Prepare to die! :turns on heat vision:
Batman: Ah-hah! 'BatAntiSupermanHeatShield' activate! :heat vision deflects and blows up a nearby building:
Superman: You bastard! I'll crush you with my pinky! :lunges at the Caped Crusader:
Batman: Not so fast, Superdork! :whips out glowing green kryptonite rock:
Superman: Noo, my one weakness! My Achilles rock, as it were! :grabs Bruce's parents killers: Now I have YOUR weakness, the vengeance for your parent's killers! :laughs heartily:

...Lather, rinse, repeat...

2 hours later

Superman: :breathless and weary from a long fight: How did... how did Lex Luthor and The Joker team up to defeat us both?
Batman: :also beat-up: I don't know, but I suspect it is the scene for Batman V Superman II: "Two super-heads are better than one!"

fin.

I'm still waiting for

[unformed]

The Superhuman Royal Rumble.

Granted, it'll probably get sued by the WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment) who was recently sued by the WWF (World Wildlife Fund).

Even still, the Royal Rumble between Superman, Scooby Doo, Batman, the Penguin, Wonderwoman, Catwoman, and Tonya Harding, would be a truly kickass event.

Re:How is this a fight? (Hint: it was, Batman won)

[JoeBuck]

SirSlud writes: Check out "The Dark Knight Returns", where Batman defeats Superman (using some Kryptonite, btw.)

Cool. So Christopher Reeve can play Superman after all.

Re:New man of steel

[Skyshadow]

Then Batman really wouldn't stand a chance. He'd kick Supes around the film in amusing ways for a half hour only to get his head blown off by a not-much-worse-for-wear, shotgun-weilding Superman.

Hail to the King, baby.

The Great Carnak holds the envelope to his head...

[Cirrocco]

...and says, "Christopher Walken."(carefully opens the envelope and removes the card)

"Name something that members of the Reeves family will never see again!"

Re:How is this a fight? (Hint: it was, Batman won)

[Skyshadow]

Kmart. A lot of people never shop there, but there's actually some great super hero supplies stashed back behind the fishing stuff in sporting goods.

Don't tell anyone.

Re:Matt Damon, not Michael Keaton

[Slak]

Have you ever seen a Connery movie where he drops the accent? Didn't think so.

How about Clint Eastwood as the Dark Night - think "Unforgiven" - if it's to be anything like "The Fall".

Cheers,
Slak

Don't fall for this!

[CleverNickName]

This movie is just a ploy to get all of us geeks into theatres so they can gas us, and stop our anti-DMCA, pro-open-source, anti-Jar-Jar rhetoric.

Excelsior!

To paraphrase The Onion...

[dswensen]

Working title: "Superman Vs. Batman: The Last Thing You'd Ever Want To Sit Through."

Re:A serious reply: Would a superheroine movie sel

[Skirwan]

But I wonder if that acceptance wasn't because the whole movie was supposed to be a fantasy (with the flying and all).

I hate to burst your bubble, but Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, and Catwoman are all fantasy too. Completely fictional.

You might want to get out more.

--
Damn the Emperor!

Re:New man of steel

[Keith Russell]

I'd go see any Superman film with the hero line:

Good... bad... I'm the guy with the heat vision.

Although I'd have a problem with Batman dancing around, singing "Little goody-two-shoes! Little goody-two-shoes!"

Re:How is this a fight?

[Anonymous Coward]

And also was able to figure out who Super Man's alter ego was

WTF? He saw past the glasses???

Choosing the Wrong Batman

[DarkHelmet]

It's kind of hard to imagine anybody but Christopher Reeve as the Man of Steel -- somebody check Michael Keaton's schedule.

Christopher Reeve vs. Michal Keaton is a nobrainer fight...

Now... Christopher Reeve vs Adam West... Now that I might wager money on...

Just as long as West never kept any of his "Bat-Shark Repellant" or "Bat-Gas" or "Bat-Enemas".

Re:Just one question:

[justydrink]

Are you kidding? The sexual tension between Nancy Drew and Frank Hardy was totally worth the $3.50 to the prepubescent longings of 11 year old girls.

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Re:Lacking something important.....

[Anonymous Coward]

Search google and you can find "Tentacle alien vs Japanese High School Girls" DVD easily.

Re:History Lesson

[Anonymous Coward]

There seems to be some kind of curse placed on Superman actors. George committed suicide (ironically by leaping out the window of a tall building in a single bound), and Christopher almost died in that horse accident.

Maybe Carrot Top should be the next Superman

I'm Batman!

[c4tp]

I could care less about Christopher Reeve as Superman.

But if Adam West doesn't reprise his role as Batman, I don't know what I'll do!