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Superhero Smackdown 602

Paul writes "Fox News is running a story that asks one of the best geek questions of our generation: who win if Superman and Batman fought one another?. The last this topic was big was during the Spider-Man/AOTC rush in May. I distinctly remember a particular essay that compared Superman, Batman, Spider-Man, any Jedi (particularly Yoda), and James Bond." Obviously the author didn't read DK2 ;) And I put my money on Deadpool, if only because his quips are better.
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Superhero Smackdown

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  • by mikedaisey ( 413058 ) on Tuesday October 29, 2002 @10:38AM (#4555457) Homepage
    Batman wins through guile, then spares Superman's life. Film at eleven.
  • by Metaldsa ( 162825 ) on Tuesday October 29, 2002 @10:43AM (#4555508)
    Have you ever read comic books? The only known kyrptonite was given to batman from superman to stop him in case he goes crazy. I agree with what others are saying. If Batman attacks then he wins but if superman attacks first he wins (b/c batman doesn't carry around the kryptonite 24/7).
  • by jgerman ( 106518 ) on Tuesday October 29, 2002 @10:44AM (#4555516)
    Don't forget that Superman was a weak assed tool of the government at that point. Batman deserved to win, he was still a bad ass.
  • Grudge Match (Score:5, Informative)

    by hero ( 25043 ) on Tuesday October 29, 2002 @10:44AM (#4555521) Journal
    If you haven't seen this [grudge-match.com] site yet, you should check it out. It features hilarious commentary about many classic grudge matches like rocky vs rambo, homer vs norm, gary coleman vs webster and latka vs balki, well okay, some of them are a bit non-standard.

    The best part is you can vote on the current grudge match and decide the winner and then check the history for the winners of all the previous matches.

    (warning, you will waste the whole work day reading the site)

    -hero.
  • The King.... (Score:3, Informative)

    by mccalli ( 323026 ) on Tuesday October 29, 2002 @10:47AM (#4555548) Homepage
    No, not Elvis.

    Far back in the mists of time, or sixteen years ago if you're being less poetic, I was a DM'ing my first set of D&D games. I created the Eruvia continent for the setting, and populated it with various goodies, nasties and a chief baddy - The King.

    The King was a stunningly powerful lych, and it soon became clear that if this guy drifted in to the game, the balance of power was ended. Put simply - the King was too strong, and ruined all the games because players went up against him and just instanteneously died.

    I'm not deeply into comics, but Superman seems to be that character to me. In Superman they've created a superhero who is just too strong to be beaten.

    I fixed my game world by arranging for the King to die courtesy of some unspecified magic tool. The games became interesting again. Similarly, I was encouraged a while ago that Superman was to be killed off, but apparently they've wimped out of that and brought him back to life.

    I suppose then my pick would be Superman. But it's not a pick I make with any great enthusiasm. It's an unbalanced character.

    Cheers,
    Ian

  • by mblase ( 200735 ) on Tuesday October 29, 2002 @10:49AM (#4555561)
    Actually, if I remember that story correctly, Batman ended up dead at the end of the fight. Granted, it was a self-administered, drug-induced temporary cardiac arrest to give the illusion of death, but it certainly implies that Batman didn't expect to actually win in a fight to the death. And if Superman hadn't been feeling charitable, he wouldn't have let Batman get away after his funeral, when Supes was the only one who could hear his heart start beating again.

    Of course, this sort of thing is always subjective to the moods of the storywriter. Which is why you never, ever want to bring up this topic on the rec.arts.comics [idyllmtn.com] newsgroups.
  • by mikedaisey ( 413058 ) on Tuesday October 29, 2002 @10:52AM (#4555591) Homepage

    Well, he had his hand at Supes throat and could have killed him, but didn't...so whatever happens after that point is moot.
  • by yerricde ( 125198 ) on Tuesday October 29, 2002 @10:54AM (#4555610) Homepage Journal

    This desire to see bloodshed between our heroes is obviously human nature, take the popularity of MTV's Celebrity Deathmatch.

    Or of Nintendo's Super Smash Bros. Melee.

    I'm just waiting for Super Smash Bros. 3: Nintendo vs Sega, or Nintendo vs Capcom, or (better yet) Nintendo vs Disney. Mario could tear apart Mickey Mouse, but I'm not all too sure Kinopio could beat Pinocchio.

  • by i_want_you_to_throw_ ( 559379 ) on Tuesday October 29, 2002 @10:55AM (#4555618) Journal
    "Batman vs. Superman" is set to be a movie in '04. It's right here folks! [ign.com]

    It's being directed by Wolfgang Petersen.

    It's being made by Warner Brothers so it's a mystery why Fox is asking the question and not Warner Brothers. Maybe Fox is asking FOR Warner Brothers and the top moderated scenarios that you folks are giving will be used.

    Taco, you in on this?
  • by Plutor ( 2994 ) on Tuesday October 29, 2002 @10:58AM (#4555641) Homepage
    A friend [coolass.net] and I had a discussion about this a whiles back, and I raised the following important points:

    1) Batman also had the help of others: a new Robin in the original DKR, and The Flash, Green Arrow, and Plastic Man in DKR2.
    2) Superman was working for evil villains oppressing the world's populace. His heart clearly wasn't in the fight.
    3) Most importantly, both of these stories take place in an alternate universe, set in years after the end of the traditional "Silver Age" DC universe was closed. It is hard to extrapolate these results to the present-day Modern Age Superheroes.

    Another thing to point out, in the current universe, Superman once gave Batman a kryptonite ring, with instructions to use it if he were ever to become evil (a-la Red Kryptonite Superman in the third movie [imdb.com]). If there was such a battle, it would likely be because one of the two "switched sides". If so, Batman would likely use the ring to his advantage.
  • by bernz ( 181095 ) on Tuesday October 29, 2002 @10:58AM (#4555650) Homepage
    The four superheros mentioned recently have had a resurgence in both the skill of their writers and the depth of their stories. Here are, I think, the great books with these characters. All are still available at your local comic shop:

    Superman: For All Seasons (Jeph Loeb)

    Batman: Year One (Miller), Dark Knight Returns (Miller), The Killing Joke (Moore), Officer Down (Rucka), Bruce Wayne Fugitive:Murderer (Rucka).

    Spider-Man: A Day in the Life (Jenkins), anything by J.Michael Strazinski (from Babylon5. yes, he writes spiderman).

    Deadpool: The current Agent X storyline, The Circle Chase or any trade paperback you can find. This guy is harder to find.
  • by mirko ( 198274 ) on Tuesday October 29, 2002 @11:04AM (#4555710) Journal
    No, he just fainted an heart attack after announcing superman he was the first ever to beat him...
    Anyway, this is a great comic to own, afew other are >A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/ -/0871352974/qid=1035903797/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/104- 1668997-4430322?v=glance">Daredevil - Born Again and 300 [amazon.com].
    All by Miller, of course.
  • Re:Depends... (Score:5, Informative)

    by Clay Mitchell ( 43630 ) on Tuesday October 29, 2002 @11:07AM (#4555731) Homepage
    Actually, In "Dark Knight Strikes Again" (DK2) Batman beat the crap out of Superman. True, he softened him up with a robotic dinosaur and some type of kryptonite stuff, but by the time Superman got to him, he was about as powerful as a common street thug. Sans the bad attitude.
  • by Microsift ( 223381 ) on Tuesday October 29, 2002 @11:11AM (#4555763)
    Let's say that Batman and Superman were thrown in a ring to fight, and they were both motivated to win(Robin dies if Batman loses Lois dies if Superman loses). So, the first thing Batman does is take off the kid gloves and goes at Superman with everything he's got. Superman wastes cycles thinking of how to save Lois and Robin without killing Batman. Batman figures this out too, but he does it while he's kicking Superman's ass.

    The classic confrontation between Superman and Batman was IMHO when in the Man of Steel miniseries where Battman puts up a force field around himself and tells Superman that if he penetrates the forcefield, a bomb that Batman has planted on some person in the city will detonate. Superman leaves Batman alone. There really was a bomb, and it was planted on Batman. Batman figured Superman could tell if he were lying, so he created the scenario where he wouldn't have to lie, or put someone else at risk, but he could still thwart Superman.

    My money's on Martian Manhunter if the battle's underwater.
  • by Thud457 ( 234763 ) on Tuesday October 29, 2002 @11:17AM (#4555803) Homepage Journal
    God, I can't believe how many of you geeks manage to horribly mangle the plot of "The Dark Knight Returns". You must write for hollywood. I'm not even a damn fanboy, and I can synopsize the battle more accurrately.

    Batman plans ahead and is prepared while big dopey Superman comes blundering in to take B into custody because the powers that be say he's a "bad boy".
    Batman gives S a dose of the K, smacks him around with some missles while he's weakened, and generally beats him until he cries like a little girl. They point that out in the story that Batman wants Superman to know that he got his ass kicked, and by whom.
    Then, having already thought through the scenario, B knows that even if he wins, that the world has changed, and he can't operate openly anymore. So he has a chemical concotion, that he thought up with his big brain, that puts him in a coma.
    Superman thinks he's killed B, and cries again. Batman sculks off to continue to use his big brain to fight evil from the shadows.

    Basicly, Batman wins because he's a big smarty-man, but then throws the fight. In the bigger picture, they're both victims of circumstance, and have to comprimise to survive in the world.
  • Re:No Contest (Score:5, Informative)

    by Edax Rarem ( 187218 ) on Tuesday October 29, 2002 @11:28AM (#4555885) Homepage Journal

    This scenario has already been done.
    Batman: Dark Knight Returns
    Yes, Superman is the man of steel, but with planning, resources and a little help from an old friend (who happens to have a bit of a grudge against Superman) Batman kicks his little blue schoolboy ass. Not to mention that Batman happens to be 70 years old at the time.

    It's a great read!

    Amazon link [amazon.com]

  • Re:That's easy (Score:4, Informative)

    by operagost ( 62405 ) on Tuesday October 29, 2002 @11:28AM (#4555887) Homepage Journal
    Wow, nice troll. You never read a comic book, right? Batman has nearly unlimited funding and genius intelligence, not to mention impressive physical skills on a human scale. Sure, even Spider-Man could beat him in an arm-wrestling match, but just before he lost Batman would probably trigger some trap he set two hours ago in the room to make Spider-Man lose. Superman is tough, but he beat him in The Dark Knight Returns.
  • Re:Marvel vs.Capcom (Score:4, Informative)

    by Pxtl ( 151020 ) on Tuesday October 29, 2002 @11:28AM (#4555890) Homepage
    Its from Capcom - the LEGO guy is a SERVbot from the Megaman Legends games - and the Misadventures of Tronne Bonne - Tronne's in that game too, I think. The LEGO guys are her servants.
  • Batman would win (Score:2, Informative)

    by Pez69 ( 244209 ) on Tuesday October 29, 2002 @11:29AM (#4555892) Homepage
    Considering its already happened at least once, in the book 'The Dark Knight Returns' a 50ish Batman defeats a 50ish Superman.

    Superman is not a good fighter, he just flies in and smashes, relying on his powers to defeat anything in his way.

    Batman, who has no real powers except for being really tough has to use his brains and skills that he has learned in his life time. Batman has WayneTech to give him all his little toys such as little green rocks that Superman can't stand.
  • by Karen_Frito ( 91720 ) <Frito_KAL@@@yahoo...com> on Tuesday October 29, 2002 @11:43AM (#4556009) Homepage
    Yes, I know you're trying to be funny.

    I'm bored. Sue me.

    Batman/Bruce Wayne doesn't drink. He's a billionare, and Dick Greyson was not adopted in the comic book until about 3 months ago, and he's in no way a "boy" anymore, being a grown man in his early 20's.

  • Really guys... (Score:2, Informative)

    by TerryAtWork ( 598364 ) <research@aceretail.com> on Tuesday October 29, 2002 @11:51AM (#4556076)
    The Superman/Batman thing has been done at least three times in the comics I read as a kid, it's old now.

    It's the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles / Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers Drunken Wedding Reception Brawl Super Special #1 that *I'm* looking forward to...
  • by Randar the Lava Liza ( 562063 ) on Tuesday October 29, 2002 @11:52AM (#4556091) Homepage
    In the Tower of Babel [dccomics.com] comic, Batman's secret plans for overcoming the entire JLA fell into the wrong hands. With his files Ra's al Ghul was able to take down the entire JLA, Superman included.

    The best part of the comic was when Batman had to face up to the JLA after the attacks and got his ass kicked out of the group. Batman explained he made the files in case the group was taken over mentally like had happened before. Showed that knowledge, planning and a lot of cunning could take down or neutralize any superpower.

  • by Blackneto ( 516458 ) on Tuesday October 29, 2002 @11:59AM (#4556136) Journal
    Batman attacked him because Supes was selling out all the other superheros. They were basically outlawed and The Man of Squeal granted all kinds of concessions to the goverment to save his own ass.
    If you can get them read The Dark Knight Returns and the Dark Knight Strikes Again by Frank Miller.
    TDKR is what basically put comics back on the map and into the Movies.
  • by berhr ( 520923 ) on Tuesday October 29, 2002 @12:32PM (#4556391)
    Hmmm...

    I believe you're actually referring to "The Dark Knight Returns" by Frank Miller. It's a really interesting view of Batman, and as far as I know is the comic book (er, graphic novel) that influenced the modern portrayals of a dark and brooding Batman (as opposed to the Adam West Batman TV series).

    Also see this comment [slashdot.org] for a link to this book at Amazon, or use this link [barnesandnoble.com] to check it out at Barnes & Noble.

  • by greymond ( 539980 ) on Tuesday October 29, 2002 @12:52PM (#4556542) Homepage Journal
    Between Batman, Spiderman, and Superman - Superman is the only one with SUPER POWERS. Granted spider man is strong/flexible/and has an almost useless "spidy sense", but he is no where near as strong as Spiderman and he can't fly, so if his webbing ran out he'd be stuck. Batman doesn't have ANY super powers. He just has really cool toys - like inspector gadget but in black/blue (depending on when you read your comics).

    Of course as long as either one had cryptonite they could win - but if they didn't theres just no chance.

    Anyway a better fight would be between Rogue and Superman since both are strong/flexible and can fly - the true test would be if rogue could suck up all his power vs. getting her face jabbed in.

    God this is so pathetic I can't believe I actually just wrote all this.
  • by Rik Sweeney ( 471717 ) on Tuesday October 29, 2002 @01:09PM (#4556670) Homepage
    They did, in The Dark Knight Returns [amazon.com]

    Batman won, but then had a heart attack.
  • by MickLinux ( 579158 ) on Tuesday October 29, 2002 @01:21PM (#4556829) Journal

    This link [darkknight.ca] tells about the battle between an aging Batman, and a superman weakened by a nuclear winter.

    In a way, Batman has gone crazy; crazy with doubt and violence.

    Anyhow, you can read it for yourself.

  • by Mechagodzilla ( 94503 ) on Tuesday October 29, 2002 @02:13PM (#4557318)
    There is a collection of superhero short stories called amazingly enough "Superheroes" (by John Varley)with Superman landing in Russia. IIRC, he ends up in a Siberian jail for the rest of his life.
  • by sys49152 ( 100346 ) on Tuesday October 29, 2002 @02:26PM (#4557421)
    Most of this has been done before, in a Saturday Night Live episode back in the late 70's. The skit was done in the recurring "What If?" bit, where Jane Curtain hosts a TV show that answers silly questions like, "what if Spartacus had a Piper Bear Cub?" In one episode they answer "What if Superman landed in Nazi Germany?" Michael Palin was hosting and played Hitler. I think Dan Akroyd played Superman. Classic line: (Superman looking at Jimmy Olson's crotch) "Olson's a Jew!"

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