EMI Customer Relations Tells It Like It Is

hype7 writes "The Register is running a story about the most outrageous email sent from a customer services rep at BMI in Germany to a customer who had difficulty playing a copy-protected CD in his CD player. One of the most stunning lines from the translation: "If you plan to continue protesting about future audio media releases with copy protection, forget it; copy protection is a reality, and within a matter of months more or less all audio media worldwide are copy protected. And this is a good thing for the music industry. In order to make this happen we will do anything within our power - whether you like it or not.""

I tried to post first

[nlinecomputers]

but it was copy protected.

Paging the Lawyers

[Amazing Quantum Man]

Again, I can't believe I'm saying that!

Paging the lawyers from Phillips! Paging the lawyers from Phillips! You need to get off your fat asses and sue EMI!

Whew

[qaam]

Boy am I glad that I have just been using Kazaa to get my music or this might really piss me off!

In other words...

[fobbman]

"All your Ace of Base are belong to us."

Don't they realize that they more they antagonize the music-sharing community the harder they will work to circumvent the copy protection? Even on the artists that really suck. It's all about principal now.

Re:Oh well.

[cmeans]

Yes, it seems like that industry wants to "Copy Protect" itself out of business..."see ya!"

Reply to EMI

[Windcatcher]

To paraphrase the NRA:

You can have my money when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers.

I wish them luck.

[Anonymous Coward]

They must be freaking geniuses if theyu can figure out a way to copy-protect vinyl.

Customer Kickin^H^H^H^H^H^HService

[burgburgburg]

Screw you buddy. You're an idiot and a thief and if you ever complain again we'll have you arrested. Now smile as we grease you up.

With customer service like that, how can anybody complain? (without getting arrested, I mean).

Who is this policy hurting?

[JeanBaptiste]

As a techie, I am quite confident I will never have a problem getting my music for free. With kazaa and my cd-rw, I havent bought a CD in years (come get me, jackasses). Even if I did buy a copy-protected CD I am sure I could break it (if I can hear it, I can rip it, duh).

My grandmother (and any other AOL user, really) on the other hand, if she had the experience mentioned on the register, she would be pretty much out of luck. So, this policy really only hurts the non-tech-savvy.

so BMI hates my grandmother
From now on, I am going to make a point of trying to find BMI stuff to download off kazaa. Guess I better learn to like n'stync

Wallet protection technology...

[Anonvmous Coward]

... I have just recently implemented wallet-protection technology. It completely prevents the Record Labels from recieving any money from within my wallet. This radical step is necessary because their business practices force me to tightly control where my money goes. Only legitimate businesses should recieve money from people's wallets.

I am extremely glad to hear this.

[LordOfYourPants]

With bullet-proof copy protection now available, I should now be able to buy a CD-R in Canada without paying any tariff that goes to the record companies, right?

I mean.. that was the whole purpose of the tariff in the first place. To give back some money to the record labels that were losing money from dubbing of CDs that people would buy otherwise.

What are the odds of the tariff being eliminated? I'd say about the same odds of the GST being eliminated.

Re:Bullshit

[Anonymous Coward]

When was the last time Microsoft sent a letter to Linus, RMS, et cetera, saying that Open Source software was a blight upon society, and that they intended to do everything in their power to destroy. You don't write letters like this to your customers. Only in instances of hubris, or supreme stupidity.

Good think Mozart is not alive today.

[jellomizer]

Mozart, besides of being one of the worlds greatest composers, had the ability to listen to a piece of music and repoduct it word for word note to note, from only one listening. Perfect Pitch, and Photographic memory. If he was alive today, He would be thrown in jail for breaking the DMCA, Sience he instantly copies all that he hears into his brain.

Re:Reality

[Chan]

Firstly, The Register is the National Enquirer of the net.

So are we to expect "Space Alien has Bill Gates' Child! Ballmer Stunned!" as the next headline?

Better customer service....

[MacAndrew]

I dunno -- I kind of like this new "kindler, gentler" customer relations that calls it like it. This is way better than the more typical "Duh, I'm not sure what you mean?" or "Please hold while we transfer your call. Your call will be served in the order received. We value your business and thank you for calling. (click) (dial tone)" or "Thank you for your letter on BMI products! Enclose please find coupons good towards your next purchase!"

Re:There are 250 Million blank CDRs

[lonesome phreak]

Exactly. I use them to burn movies I download too!

Re:Whats going to happen

[Anonymous Coward]

you forgot

6. Profit!!!

Re:The scary part...

[realgone]

No, no, no... the scary part is that the CD our German friend was writing EMI about [heise.de] in the first place was Toto's "Through the Looking Glass".

If overly stringent copy protection means there's one less person in the world listening to Toto cover "House of the Rising Sun", can it really be all bad?

Re:oh well

[squarefish]

But maybe the sight of some 40-something, balding fat guys does something for you, I don't care.

Yes, balding fat guys [msboycott.com] do do something for me....

The Scarriest part...

[Anonymous Coward]

I work for a multi-national corporation, with a lot of people in Microsoft. For the longest time I would get very offended by e-mails I would get from our Microsoft colleagues.

For example, we would send around a proposal for how we thought we might do something in the future.

A Microsoft colleague would respond with a tersely worded message to the effect of "You are an asshole. If you don't do it this way, it will lead to the end of the company and we'll all be unemployed."

After a while, and after actually meeting many of these people face to face, I discovered that's just their way of saying "You are an asshole. If you don't do it this way, it will lead to the end of the company and we'll all be unemployed."

After reading the letter from the CSR, I realized that this is probably the same situation. It sounds really harsh, but it's not intended to be that way.

There are huge cultural differences between Microsoft and Linux, and it's important to try and understand those differences before over reacting.

Sincerily,

-Steve Ballmer

So many ears!

[Anonymous Custard]

From EMI letter: There are 250 Million blank CDRs and tapes bought and used this year for copying music in comparison to 213 Million prerecorded audio media. This means the owners are only being paid for 46 per cent of the musical content. For a comparison: In 1998 almost 90% of all audio media was paid for. Even without a degree in economics everyone should realise that such trends will result in the music industry ceasing to exist.

[breaks out calc.exe.... tap-tap-tap...] OMG! By similar calculation, I calculate that, allowing for deaf people, there are 12 Billion ears on this planet used for listening to EMI cd's, in comparison with the only 50 million or so microphones in the world. That means 99.995833% of all the world's hearing power is used for EMI music, but EMI's 1996 sales were still only about £2.7 billion. That puts the entire music industry's annual sales for 2002 at about £3 billion. Therefor, each individual ear only pays about £0.25 annually for the more than 213 Million CD's EMI gives to them. That's £0.00000000117370 per CD. Now subtract the greedy musician's 15% royalties, and poor EMI has only pulls in £0.00000000099764.5; not even enough to afford a spot of tea to quench their thirst after a hard day's work.

Oh, and I DO have a degree in Economics [drew.edu], but I didn't use one bit of it to write the preceding rant.

Re:In other words...

[yog]

I'd rather download tracks at no cost that, after X number of times, gradually become low quality; e.g. the vocalist starts to sing out of tune, the drummer is off by a beat, etc. If it's classical music, the solo violinist could start to sound screechy and out of tune. And so forth. The same concept could be applied to video, by the way; that pretty star suddenly develops warts and a raspy voice. Fred Astaire starts tripping and falling on stage as the audience hoots and throws garbage.

Re:Oh well.

[RagManX]

I'm just waiting for ONE major artist (Madonna, Phil Collins, Elton John, etc.) to publically refuse to resign with the RIAA

Didn't Courtney Love do this?

Oh, wait, you said major artist. Sorry - my bad. :)

RagManX

Re:Oh well.

[MrEd]

Music quality has dropped dramatically.

Another explanation: We're all getting older! Bah humbug! Nothing but noise!

Mfg'ed bands suck as much as always, and there are certainly a lot more of them around these days. However, you will find lots of pretty good (though some would argue not terribly innovative) music being released by RIAA artists these days. If there has been a drop in quality I wouldn't characterize it as 'dramatic'.

Re:Oh well.

[jafuser]

The problem is, I think they're shooting for the goal of getting the government to tax all non-deaf people for the privledge of being able to hear.

At some point, they won't even need to produce any new content... then they can fire all the employees/artists and just have the government forward the collected tax money directly to their shareholders's bank accounts...

Luftwaffe

[Anonymous Coward]

This guy sounds like one of the nazis in an old war movie:
"Soon, all of ze music will be under Nazi control, and you Allies will be powerless to stop us!"

Stupid execs..

[haxor.dk]

Why dont they get it? If teh CD can be read AT ALL, it CAN BE COPIED!

the only way to copy protect a CD would be to make it unreadable. Or not to publish it.

For some bands, the last option would be welcome.

hehe, those crazy Germans say the darndest things!

[Bamafan77]

What is everyone getting so worked over? Remember the source. I think this letter passes for "nice" in Germany. :)

Irony

[munter]

Today I bought some CD's with some vouchers I had been given. There was some change. Due to the record store's policy on Vouchers and Change, I had to buy something with the change.

I bought a blank CD-R.

doh!

Baloney

[schmiddy]

What a ridiculous notion. CD-R's aren't used to pirate music, they're used to burn downloaded DVD rips.