5 Predictions for 2012 513
Structured Audio writes "Mike Langberg of the Merc put up his 5
technology predictions for 2012. Well
chosen, although of course in 2012 speech
recognition will still be 10 years away :-)."
He has not acquired a fortune; the fortune has acquired him. -- Bion
All present and accounted for -- always. (Score:2, Funny)
unless I leave my cell phone at home
My prediction... (Score:1, Funny)
Comment removed (Score:5, Funny)
I predict... (Score:3, Funny)
Finally, we can talk to our computers. (Score:5, Funny)
In the year 2012 (Score:4, Funny)
Junis will upgrade to a 386
Jon Katz II begins writing articles for slashdot. His premiere article: What caused Columbine to happen II? A 37-part epic.
Stephen King and Alan Thicke will still be dying on a daily basis, missed by all.
The goatse.cx hole will increase in radius by 3m.
The (meta)-moderation system will still be broken.
E-paper will be coming out "real soon now"
The "How about a beowulf cluster of these?" joke finally gets played out.
Mozilla supports yenc decoding.
Nonono, he's got it all wrong! (Score:3, Funny)
moving sidewalks (Score:2, Funny)
2012!!! The Future is here... (Score:4, Funny)
They are moving already (Score:1, Funny)
Here's my predictions for 2012: (Score:5, Funny)
5. computers will be much faster than they are today
4. computers will be much less expensive than they are now
3. programs will take much more space than they do now
2. hard drive capacities will be much larger than they are now
and finally... (drumroll please)
1. there will be even more duped articles on Slashdot
Hopefully wrong.. (Score:5, Funny)
Hal: John, I have determined you should not have passed that last station, maybe you should turn around now.
Hal: John, you have two miles more before the point of no return to that gas station you passed.
Hal: John, are you listening to me?
John: Shut UP! You dont know i have a gas can in the trunk!
Hal: John, yes you do, but its empty! Remember last time?
John: Nag, Nag Nag..
Re:Speech Recognition (Score:3, Funny)
Either that, or you'll give your car's computer a name and use that. "Chitty, give me directions to the nearest movie theatre."
Re:Nonono, he's got it all wrong! (Score:5, Funny)
Riiiight...whatever.....
Re:Speech Recognition (Score:4, Funny)
Re:2012?!?! (Score:2, Funny)
As Avery Brooks said: (Score:3, Funny)
"Where are my flying cars? I was promised flying cars..."
- Avery Brooks [imdb.com] (In a IBM [ibm.com] commercial)
Re:Speech Recognition (Score:5, Funny)
Ahh, this is an easy one:
IT WAS WRITTEN THAT WAY IN THE SCRIPT.
of course, we'll have much larger hard drives..... (Score:4, Funny)
Of course, they will run at 400 degrees and last a week, but tradeoffs always need to be made...
RFID cloaking device, uncappers (Score:3, Funny)
In 2013, after you install the water limiter uncapper, your maytag washing machine finks on you and collects a reward.
In 2013, the invention of the RFID cloaking devices (aluminum lines shopping bags), leads to whole sale shoplifting. An new chain of stores called "shop-naked" emerges, and becomes wildly popular not only as a place to meet members of the opposit sex, but because it is the only place that sells food in the city anymore.
in 2013, stranger-on-a-train parties become an out-of control trend, with complete strangers exchanging their Presence ID tags. Thus subverting the tracking scrutiny of big brother and his computerized corporate stooges. Faced with a loss of control over ordinary citizens, President Jenna Bush imposes mandatory ID tatooing and all babies receive an injected RFID module.
Re:Hmm (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Speech Recognition (Score:5, Funny)
Driver: "This car is a piece of shit!"
Car: "The nearest restroom is 200 miles down route 54."
Driver : "God I hate this car, I want to kick it's ass."
Car: "The nearest brothel is located 4,364 miles away in the state of of Nevada."
Driver: "That's it, I've had enough of this you fucking car. I'm going to kill you!"
Car: "Security system activated. Electrifiying body frame."
Driver: Bzzwaaaarrrrrrzzzwaaaaaaaaaaa
Talk to computers? (Score:5, Funny)
Isnt handsfree silly enough to watch? Will the computer understand foul language and respond by deleting files (happens anyway if you use Windows).
Re:only 1 terabyte ?? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Presence exists... big brother is stalking you? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Hey (Score:1, Funny)
How the car will REALLY answer... (Score:5, Funny)
Car: Eight miles ahead at exit 37 there is a Chevron station.
Driver: Is there a Mobil station there?
Car: No.
Driver: Are there any closer gas stations?
Car: Yes.
Driver: Where?
Car: Six miles ahead at exit 36 there is a Citgo station.
Driver: Are there any Mobil stations within the next twenty miles?
Car: Yes, there is one four miles ahead at exit 35.
Driver: Why didn't you tell me that in the first place?
Car: To keep the costs of the service low to you, we present you with value-added featured placements first. By the way, wouldn't you like a larger penis?
Plan (Score:5, Funny)
2) Have a lot of them turn out right
3) ????
4) PROPHET!!!
Re:IN SOVIET RUSSIA (Score:3, Funny)
Can anyone play? (Score:5, Funny)
After years of mis-understanding and accidental death, new Tablet PC's will come out that are chewable, in colorful Flintstone shapes.
Bill Gates will be a distant memory having been killed in 2006 in a bizarre accident when his computerized bidet malfunctions (a brief investigation can find no evidence of tampering and very little evidence of Mr. Gates)
Steve Balmer retires from Microsoft in 2005 to star and produce in a remake of the Battle for the Planet of the Apes. Mr. Balmer also becomes heavily involved with the smoothie cult as it's symbolic leader and introduces ritualistic clapping and hopping to the group before being asked to reduce his role and "just be the head"
Terrorism is a thing of the past when, in a 2003 CIA plot, the leaders of al-Qaida are clandestinely fed Depilorex and cannot look at each other without giggling and are too embarrassed appear in threatening videos.
The new head of Microsoft, an incomplete 6 year old Bill Gates clone hastily harvested from the scene of his death, announces (via a translator 'Mr. Wuzzy his Spokes-Teddy Bear') the switch to a new open source philosophy, introducing the new direction with a new mascot, a fuzzy green reptile called 'Opensaurus' and changing the marketing tagline of the company to "We wanna play too! "
this has got to be a joke... (Score:3, Funny)
The Most Important Improvement! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Speech Recognition (Score:2, Funny)
Re:In the year 2012 (Score:3, Funny)
But the "all your base are belong to us" variations will still be going.
Cluster (Score:3, Funny)
Steve Ballmer will be chanting:
Distributed!
Distributed!
Distribute
Re:In the year 2012 (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Hmm (Score:1, Funny)
Think I'll post this one anonymously. Don't want to explain how I know this.
Speech recognition... hee hee hee... (Score:3, Funny)
Can you imagine speech recognition becoming so common it gets built into every computer?
It would be worthwhile paying for a 1U slot in a colocation facility, just to have a machine that has no purpose whatsoever, except to randomly scream out at the highest volume on it's sound card "SHUTDOWN NOW!" to the other machines...
-- Terry
Re:I predict... (Score:2, Funny)
PS My Flying Car will be a fuel celled vehicle and the gas station will serve nothing but hydrogen.
Re:Hmm (Score:3, Funny)
Xray, MRI, GC/MS. Camera logging when the item was put in the fridge.