Rick Berman Doesn't Know Why Nemesis Tanked 1210
Steve Krutzler writes "Star Trek producer Rick Berman broke his silence today on the debacle that was the North American box office for STAR TREK NEMESIS. The film grossed $18.5 million in its opening weekend in mid-December, the lowest of any TREK bow, and its current domestic total stands below even that of the much-lambasted STAR TREK V. Read more at TrekWeb. Berman says he doesn't know why the movie failed and the future of more TREK movies is uncertain."
doomed (Score:2, Funny)
it was doomed to be bad
Lack of Wesley... (Score:5, Funny)
hmmm its almost proportional (Score:2, Funny)
I read his site. He wasnt even called for opening night.
wilwheaton.net
(repruhsent!)
Yeah, smart... (Score:3, Funny)
Serves 'em right for leaving Uncle Willy out! (Score:5, Funny)
Seriously, Wil [slashdot.org], got any comments?
Look No Further Than The Competition (Score:5, Funny)
My God, what was Paramount thinking of!
Not to Berman, et. al. (Score:5, Funny)
(1) The plot wasn't worthy of the talent arrayed; and,
(2) The plot was nothing more than an episode turned feature length;, and,
(3) It was all hype, no substance; and,
(4) People don't want to see a main character (Data) die in a lame way, give the man some respect, will you?; and,
(5) Retarded androids aren't funny.
Dumb story? (Score:5, Funny)
A super ship owned by a sect of the Romulan empire?
Picards clone leading them?
RAMMING SPEED???
Bah, I've seen better on sites like this [startrekstories.de.vu] and many other sites like it.
oh , come on guys! (Score:5, Funny)
It's good to see Star Trek follow the quality ideas of such exciting shows as Andromeda, and StarHunters.
Re:Not to Berman, et. al. (Score:3, Funny)
a little sppoiler alert would have been nice.
However, now that I read that, I might consider renting it.
Top 10 Best (Worst) Ways to Kill Wesley Crusher (Score:4, Funny)
10. After slugging down six Shirley Temple's in 10-forward, Wes stumbles to the holodeck, which he commands to "take me to hell." His broken body is later found on the empty holodeck in a pool of vomit.
9. Wesley gets gang-raped by a group of female Klingons.
8. Riker gets carried away executing an order from Picard to "knock the little snot around a bit."
7. Data catches him tossing off. Uncomprehending, he requires a detailed explanation from Wesley, who dies of embarrassment.
6. Extensive lab analysis of a green slime found on one of the control panels uncovers the fact that our favorite ensign has, once again, been picking his nose. He is summarily fired and commits suicide.
5. Wes gets gang-raped by a group of male Klingons.
4. On an earlier episode, Wes got to kiss a girl who turned into a Chewbacca-like creature. Here, she returns, and they once again get involved. (Un)fortunately, once she gets really heated, she mutates back into a wookie and forces Wesley to be her cringing sex slave. She then tears him limb from limb and eats him.
3. In a rare episode involving characters from both ST and ST:TNG, Spock attempts a Vulcan mind-meld with Wesley. Wesley's head explodes. Spock barely survives, spending the next several days scratching himself and whining.
2. Worf notices a Romulan ship on the scanners, and sends Wesley down to clean out the photon tubes. Later, someone makes a comment about the needs of the many having outweighed the needs of the few.
1. Wes gets involved in a deviant sexual practice known as "tribble stuffing," not realizing that tribbles multiply any where. Even an emergency laser enema by Dr. Crusher fails to save him
Re:A Battle of Wits (Score:5, Funny)
The most famous, of course, is never get involved in a bidding war with Dreamworks.
But only SLIGHTLY less well known is this:
Never go in 5 days ahead of LORD OF THE RINGS when the franchise is on the line!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha --
What??? (Score:4, Funny)
CGI Trek (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Wake up movie people (Score:3, Funny)
<sarcasm>
Oh come on! Anyone with half a brain can see that this was obviously caused by rampant downloading of illegal copies of the film. What we need are laws to protect the hard working American who pored their hearts and soles into the making of this fine movie only to have it stolen by hackers, pirates and terrorists.
</sarcasm>
Re:Killing Data (Score:2, Funny)
Why Nemisis Tanked: (Score:3, Funny)
I desribed the film to my friends thus:
"Like Star Trek 2. Only crap."
10 tips for living in the 24th century... (Score:2, Funny)
1. Never get a cabin in the front of the saucer section
2. Always carry a knife. You never know when the other guy will have a knife.
3. If you are in a hurry, the ventilation ducts in the walls of the ship are large enough to drive a tank through.
4. They might be full of aliens, though.
5. Ignore Counselor Troi. She may just be having her period.
6. Anyone who looks remotely like you is probably your evil twin, a robot, or both, and should not be trusted.
7. There is no complicated political scenario so complex that it cannot be resolved by two men beating the crap out of eachother followed by a giant explosion.
8. If anything remotely interesting happens on a nearby planet, take the entire command crew to investigate, even if it means leaving the ship's janitor in command of a multi-billion dollar starship.
9. Anything with lots of veins showing is probably not very nice.
10. Never wear a red shirt.
If I missed any cliches, rest assured Nemesis didn't.
Re:Not to Berman, et. al. (Score:2, Funny)
By the way, the Lone Gunmen are dead.
You forgot the best one. (Score:5, Funny)
Magnus.
The Wrath of Wil -- Somebody send this to Berman (Score:5, Funny)
After years of being abandoned at the academy and getting dumped in trash cans and toilet swirlies, Wil wants nothing more than for Captain Picard to grovel at his feet as he gives him the galaxy's worst wedgie! "Ha ha ha! That's right Picard! Feel my pain! You could have been a father figure to me, but you kicked me off your ship!" In a shocking twist, Wesley's own mother shoots him with a phaser.
"Et tu Mother?"
"You know, I never like that little brat anyway."
The only thing sadder than Nemisis will be the lackluster number of posts on Slashdot about the movie that no one went and saw.
_____________
Re:I'd say the future of Trek movies *is* certain (Score:5, Funny)
I was waiting for Starship Exeter to Release (Score:2, Funny)
Seriously, I enjoyed watching that fan-based production as much as I enjoyed Nemesis. They both sucked equally and one cost a lot less to make.
Re:Followed by the RIAA... (Score:1, Funny)
Dork.
Why Nemisis tanked. (Score:2, Funny)
You shouldn't frustrate geeks like that.
Re:Here is the text for those /. the server... (Score:3, Funny)
Ha! I knew I recognized the writing style on few of those FPs! Well, Mr. Berman, I just want you to know I modded you down. So there.
What's that? "First"
Re:Wesley Crusher? Get real. (Score:4, Funny)
He doesn't know why it tanked? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Wake up movie people (Score:5, Funny)
hard working American who pored their hearts and soles
Ah, the mental picture of Rick Berman alternately poking holes into his chest and shoes......
.....maybe that explains why the movie sucked....
....or maybe is was just yet another trek movie in a series hanging on to the stories of a dead man.
Whatever
A sequel is inspired! (Score:2, Funny)
Get Symantec/Norton to underwrite it.
Re:I'd say the future of Trek movies *is* certain (Score:5, Funny)
Star Trek is like my mop (Score:3, Funny)
This side up (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Too much competition (Score:2, Funny)
Wheel of Fish: Do you want to keep your Red Snapper or take the box!
The Box!
You get....absolutley nothing!! So stupid!!
You are wrong and right... (Score:2, Funny)
Try this little experiment:
Chain yourself to a locomotive with tinfoil in a free fall environment. Now, back up (fire your engines) and you will move away from the locomotive and the tinfoil will break. The locomotive will not move.
It is entirely within the realm of possibility that either event could have taken place - depending on how 'attached' they were from the impact and how much mass is involved on either ship.
If the attachment of interconnecting metal was strong enough to move the mass of the Enterprise, then it would have remained attached. If, on the other hand, the interconnecting metal was not strong enough to move the mass of the Enterprise, it would break at some point - as we saw in the movie.
Rick Berman Doesn't Know Why Nemesis Tanked (Score:4, Funny)
And Bowie J. Poag Doesn't Care Why Nemesis Tanked.
Re:Get a Real SF Writer to write a ST Movie!!! (Score:5, Funny)
Emperor Norton would finance his own movie using his own minted cash, playing himself as the star, but in this case, protector of the federation, and emperor of Orion, or some such. And he would very likely make it a better film than Nemesis.
Planet P Blog [planetp.cc] - Liberty with Technologuy.
Re:I'd say the future of Trek movies *is* certain (Score:5, Funny)
Cross between James Bond and ST (Score:5, Funny)
The problem with Nemesis is that the movie was directed by a action movie director who is not an Startrek fan (Stuart Baird) and he directed it like an action film. SO here goes to Paramount. THIS IS NOT JAMES BLOODY BOND!
In one scene my friend (who is not a St fan and do not know the chars) leaned over to me and said "Picard, Jean luc Picard". That said it all.
That said, the movie was not THAT bad. I really liked Shinzon's "I was lonely" line and of course, Deanna Troi in that skimpy little thing. Hmmmmm. I mean, this ST actually had an MPAA rating for "scene of sexual content". And its not Kirk porking aliens either.
Data singing was a little embarassing. No wonder they killed him off
Re:I'd say the future of Trek movies *is* certain (Score:4, Funny)
Troi wasn't naked!!! (Score:1, Funny)
It failed because the first 20 minutes or so was nothing but a big tease. Riker and Troi get married. The Betazoidian wedding is where all the participats are naked! WhooHoo, we finally get to see the councelar naked! Wait! Huge crisis follow. Solve crises. End movie, What? No naked Troi? Arg!
At the very least... (Score:5, Funny)
Thank you! Thank you! I'll be here all week, drive safely.
Re:Followed by the RIAA... (Score:1, Funny)
Ok, I gave up mod points, and it's off topic, but this is exactly right. So here goes:
It tanked because... (Score:5, Funny)
It's obvious... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Not to Berman, et. al. (Score:1, Funny)
Re:I'd say the future of Trek movies *is* certain (Score:5, Funny)
"This week on Voyager, Choke-a-Chicken and Feelix the Cook encounter a Multi-Phasic-Quadratic-Warp-Tribble which threatens to add an element of plot to the series, and is promptly destroyed by the dread Berman Beam."
Totally OT (Score:2, Funny)
I am sure someone has asked this before, but is this sig copied, or is it stolen?
Re:doomed (Score:2, Funny)
It seems in the end StarTrek's Heisenberg compensators failed and the fact that an even film is crap has to do with the uncertainty principle.
Re:doomed (Score:2, Funny)
Vampires, man. Vampires. (Score:4, Funny)
Re:My dot oh two. (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Half the problem: Inconsistency (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Dr. Pulaski ruled (Score:5, Funny)
And in my view, the single hottest.
If given a choice between Crusher and Troi, I'd pick Crusher any day.
Crusher: Smart, skilled, attractive, long red hair, when she saved the ship it was with her BRAIN. Real sexual tension with Picard.
Troi: Decent rack but beyond that a source of obvious, any child could tell you that, "Insight." When she saved the ship it was because the writers couldn't think of a better story that week. Lame, cold turkey parody of sexual tension with the Kirk wannabe.
That and we all know which actress has aged better.
Re:Dr. Pulaski druled, Big Red Ruled! (Score:5, Funny)
Wes: Bye, Mom!
Bev: Bye, Wes!
(door closes)
Squadronmate Tom Paris: Damn, Wes! Your mom is one hot piece of ass. I would pound the holy hell out of her for hours on end.
Wes: Shut up!
Tom: I'm talkin' about burying a diamond class erection to the hilt inside old Big Red!
Wes: Shut up you ass!
Tom: I mean, what more could you want out of life? Is she a natural redhead, if you know what I mean?
Wes: Shut up now!
Tom: Damn, I'd like to go to sleep with her stink on me. I'm just gonna take this little genetic sample over to the bioclone lab and run a little...experiment.
Re:I'd say the future of Trek movies *is* certain (Score:2, Funny)
Fan Fic (Score:3, Funny)
Well, that vast library of fan fiction is right out, then.
Re:I'd say the future of Trek movies *is* certain (Score:4, Funny)
Naw, what we need is a show called "borg wars", where humanity is trying to defeat the invincible borg -- not the crappy hugs and kisses "well if you take them out of the collective they're really nice chaps" borgs who can be taken out with a judo chop or a light breeze, I'm talking about the borg as they originally were -- invincible, immortal, unwaveringly alien, ultimately cold and calculating(instead of the way they are portrayed as predictable animals later on) and really f*cking scary. Actually, forget about the borg altogether and just make a series like that from scratch. It would be f*cking cool. Especially if there were lots of explosions and hot chicks who aren't really wearing enough clothing. And beer. That would be the best series ever. Especially if they actually had main characters die for no reason sometimes and they didn't make every death into a heroic sacrifice for mankind.
Re:My dot oh two. (Score:4, Funny)
Oooh, will that be an extra on the special edition DVD?
Yeah. I just heard that they're cutting the additional Wesley scenes from the Director's Cut to make room for that scene.