MPAA to Launch Anti-Piracy Commercials 662
cfish writes "The MPAA is launching expensive 30 second TV commercials to preach about movie piracy. Featuring starving artists in the movie industry."
Numeric stability is probably not all that important when you're guessing.
please don't confuse me! (Score:5, Funny)
But the MPAA says it's bad. Why must Hollywood send me conflicting messages?
Mike
Easy answer (Score:5, Funny)
--
Irony (Score:3, Funny)
Cool! (Score:4, Funny)
Re:hmmm... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:please don't confuse me! (Score:5, Funny)
War is peace
Freedom is slavery
Ignorance is strength.
Boycott TV (Score:1, Funny)
I even found a service called KaZaA Gold [kazaagold.com]. It's like the KaZaA you leeches use, but it's legit. For just $1.50 a month, I can download all the content I want -- including Hollywood films.
Why can't Hollywood embrace the Internet, instead of trying to shut it down?
Against Movie Piracy? (Score:4, Funny)
Prince of Thieves (Score:5, Funny)
Re:please don't confuse me! (Score:5, Funny)
Can't wait (Score:2, Funny)
Re:please don't confuse me! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:up next (Score:2, Funny)
I can picture it now... (Score:3, Funny)
Some black rapper reject from the PJ's jumps out onto the desktop screen and starts to rap. "Don't copy...don't copy that floppy!
For anyone who doesn't get the joke, there was a video released back in 1992 by (I think) the SIAA titled "Don't copy that floppy." It is the funniest 8 minute public service announcement video you will ever seen in your life. A rapper does this rap chanting "Don't copy...don't copy that floppy" after two kids try and use a Mac to copy a "cool game" onto another floppy disk. You just have to see it to believe it. You can watch a
Re:hmmm... (Score:5, Funny)
Bob: No problem Steve. I figure we should have had a 25% increase in sales this year however those darn file swapers kept our increase to a modest 8%. Make sure the reported numbers reflect that.
Bob: And Steve while you are at it. Could you take a few million of the money laying around and make a comersial about how much file swapping is hurting the industry.
Thanks
Steve: No Problem. I will get right on it.
This is Dan (Score:5, Funny)
This is the sharer who hosted the AVI that Dan downloaded.
This is the cracker who sold ripped the AVI that the sharer hosted that Dan downloaded.
And this is movie star who shot herself for losing the money.
Downloading AVIs supports terrible things. If you download AVIs you might too.
Brought to you by the MPAA
Re:hmmm... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:How about the other side (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Three Things (Score:5, Funny)
(...)
Network users have a back door to your hard drive while you're online, thereby seeing your personal, private information, such as bank records, social security number, etc.
Which is why the RIAA recommends you use Open Source P2P software such as gtk-gnutella and gnucleus. Remember kids:
"You can't hide a trojan
when the source code is open".
Re:Cool! (Score:4, Funny)
But... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:If you use Kazaa... (Score:2, Funny)
Yeah, you can bet Osama doesn't use bittorrent.
Re:hmmm... (Score:2, Funny)
About as logical (Score:2, Funny)
Here's the commercial (Score:5, Funny)
I get $1.20 off of every CD I sell. With 12 songs on my CD it means every time you pirate a song it cost me 10 cents. For every hundred thousand of your downloads I lose $10,000 !
Of course, my record company gave me an advance of $100,000 that I have to pay back. And then they made me pay for the recording studio where I recorded my own music. That was another $100,000.
Oh wait, They also made me pay for their mid level marketers to pay that money-that-looks-like-but-isn't-really-payola to Clear Channel to get my songs on the radio. That was another $200,000. And of course I have to pay the rest of the band. Not to mention the cost of going out to tour to support this new CD.
Oh yeah, and I don't even own my own songs any more, or my voice, or the recordings of those songs, or the cover art, or anything. In fact, my music is now legally known as "Work for hire". And if I don't like how I'm being treated I can't leave my record label without their permission.
Oh, and the record company that sold those albums? They made about 3 million dollars of profit.
So how am I suppose to pay off my $400,000 debt to the record company if you keep pirating my songs? So stop it. mmm-kay?
Thank you
I know (Score:4, Funny)
Re:please don't confuse me! (Score:4, Funny)
I was proceeding on the assumption that everyone on
Re:They should take a look in the mirror (Score:2, Funny)
starving? (Score:3, Funny)
Dont Copy That Floppy! (Score:3, Funny)
http://static.hugi.is/video/fyndin/dctf-1.wmv [static.hugi.is]
Quote from the ad tells who's to blame (Score:5, Funny)
"(piracy issue) well I don't believe it affects the producers. I mean it does affect them but it's miniscure to the way it affects me.
So the movie producers admit they are ripping off the workers? The workers get the leftover, which is nothing.
(Nice orange mustache, though. )
I hope they have a commercial... (Score:2, Funny)
Then cut to an assembly line worker at Sony. "My company paid the DVDCCA license fee, in order to get a piece of the DVD player market. If it weren't for useful legislation like DMCA, you would be able to buy a DVD player from just anybody. That's not fair, and it's un-American."
Then cut to a a guy who sells timebase correctors: "When you pirate, you make it harder for the guys in LA to buy legislation that requires your equipment to implement Macrovision, the technology that keeps your video devices from displaying a bright picture on your TV when they're connected upstream from the VCR. If everyone did that and the laws were no longer funded, then nobody would buy my TBCs anymore. I would be out of a job."
Then cut to a grave headstone that says, "R.I.P. 1937" and a voiceover: "Though I died over sixty five years ago, thanks to the Sonny Bono extension act, my life still has meaning and I have incentive to have written all my stories in the 1920s. When you pirate, you undermine the funding for the laws that makes this possible. Don't let my spirit die in 2018. Don't pirate."
Then cut to Lars Ulrich: "As you probably guesses, The Industry is working on a successor to audio CDs as you know them. These will require proprietary licenses not just to play, but to produce as well. This will help to raise the barrier to music publishing. You don't want just any band to be able to publish music in the same format as the big labels, do you? The record companies help you, by filtering out the bad bands so that you are left with just the cream of the crop, such as my recent 'St. Anger' which all music afficionatos agree is a masterpiece. When you pirate, you undermine the format, thereby undermining this useful selection process."
Re:please don't confuse me! (Score:1, Funny)
I thought for sure... (Score:4, Funny)
a. have read the article, and
b. know how to spell
Re:This is Dan (Score:5, Funny)
This is the sharer who hosted the AVI that Dan downloaded.
This is the cracker who sold ripped the AVI that the sharer hosted that Dan downloaded.
This is the Hollywood studio that went broke over poor ticket sales because of the AVI that Dan downloaded.
This is the actress who can't afford to buy crack because of the movie studio that went broke because of the AVI that Dan downloaded.
This is the crack dealer who's starving because his customers went broke because of the AVI that Dan downloaded.
This is the drug kingpin who was assassinated because he couldn't buy guns because of the lost drug revenue because of the AVI that Dan downloaded.
This is the Betty Ford Clinic therapist who's been laid off because of the lack of business because of the AVI that Dan downloaded.
Dan is one influential son of a bitch.
Re:Cool! (Score:3, Funny)
I think you are right, they would probably be better portrayed in a 'Got Milk' commercial
Starving? (Score:2, Funny)
Hey, We'll see Macaulay Culkin again!
I got copies of the ads for download! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Three Things (Score:4, Funny)
I think the best summary of their case is the fact that both of their examples of The Magic of Movies!!! are from the '70s. Why yes, I do remember the chills I got from Jaws. That's probably why I got so depressed after you people made a third goddamn Mummy movie. Wait, no, you put the head of a wrestler onto a giant flying scorpion. That'd reduce me to a blubbering wreck even if my viewing experience were limited to The Cable Guy, and for that matter, every goddamn movie since 1989.
Priceless (Score:1, Funny)
Price Spent on Advertising: 10 Million Dollars
The Look on the face of the 16 year old kid the MPAA busted: Priceless
It'll be just like Americas war on drugs.... (Score:1, Funny)
Re:please don't confuse me! (Score:3, Funny)
Everytime you conquer a town..."Liberation! yayyyyy"