Googling For Prospective Date Unmasks Fugitive 381
pgrote writes "So you're a guy on the run - you decide to switch towns, put down some roots and start dating again. But if your special new friend happens to be someone who checks her potential dates by searching on Google, you're in trouble. Seems that LaShawn Pettus-Brown was caught by his date's discovery of him on an FBI site of fugitives, even after local Cincinnati news media couldn't find him. Score one for the Internet."
phew!!! (Score:4, Funny)
What if she finds out... (Score:3, Funny)
rofl! (Score:5, Funny)
In Cincinnati... (Score:0, Funny)
Technology is a double edged sword.. (Score:5, Funny)
1980: Do you have Herpes?
1986: Do you have AIDS?
1995: I have pepper spray.
2004: I have Google.
Oh well.. at least RealDolls [realdoll.com] can't use search engines.. yet..
Major Major Major (Score:5, Funny)
You have to wonder (Score:5, Funny)
OK, geeks... (Score:2, Funny)
That's why you know it's best not to date.
Re:Technology is a double edged sword.. (Score:5, Funny)
They're so lifelike!!!
That's not me... (Score:3, Funny)
All backwards! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Major Major Major (Score:5, Funny)
I bet this guy is wishing his parents had given him a more common name
Yeah, like... Anonymous Coward... That would score 138K hits in Google [google.com]
Re:BE CAREFUL OF LINK! (Score:5, Funny)
damn (Score:3, Funny)
It'd probably be immensely popular. "Check to see if this man is a fugitive? Yes | No"
Unbelievably cheap bastard (Score:5, Funny)
So the guy steals about 100K and invites a date to freaking Applebee?! EIther he's really a cheap bastard or he already spent it all.
Men these days. You cannot even get a French restaurant date out of a rich thief anymore.
Googling for dates? (Score:5, Funny)
+blonde +thirtysomething +"blue eyes" -kids +"36 24 36" -smoker +5'11" +model +"into geeky guys"
Wha? Zero results?
Re:IPO Coming, can Scroogol be far away ??? (Score:2, Funny)
If they're launching a dating service, they should call it "Go ogle". Dating services are already known to be meat markets...
Re:IQ test (Score:5, Funny)
Re:thankfully... (Score:1, Funny)
"Jonathan Cain" -Journey
You sexually assaulted a donkey back in 1977?!?!
Eluding the FBI for Dummies... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:What else would you expect? (Score:3, Funny)
"When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Cincinnati because it's always twenty years behind the times."
Maybe it works the other way as well. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Now that's journalism (Score:3, Funny)
The newpaper editor Googling skills might have improved, but not their proofreading skills.
Neither have yours... ;-)
Re:BE CAREFUL OF LINK! (Score:5, Funny)
who the hell would look at naked dolls
Ken?
Re:Technology is a double edged sword.. (Score:3, Funny)
KFG
Make sure they don't read /. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Tsk, tsk... no using Googling as a verb... (Score:2, Funny)
Woops, I mean did you search the Internet using a popular engine for that?
Re:Technology is a double edged sword.. (Score:3, Funny)
(I am trying to be funny here, no disrespect, just brainless male bushido)
They Never Caught Me (Score:2, Funny)
I do a Google for my real name, and it comes up with nothing even close - of course there are 21,300 hits when I use quotes!
Re:Major Major Major (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Technology is a double edged sword.. (Score:2, Funny)
Well, yes, and none taken. But that was my joke.
Another reason aren't lifelike is because they don't make you put them through college, buy them a new car and then take your house away from you.
No, I'm not bitter. What makes you think that?
KFG
next thing you'll know (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Now that's journalism (Score:3, Funny)
Not even the editors
Re:I had a similar experience (Score:5, Funny)
Not to mention the Coolest House Evar.
Charge goths and New Age geeks to hold seances there every Thursday night. Pretty soon, the already-cheap house will pay itself off!
Built-in excuse to keep away unwanted guests! "No, mother of my wife, I don't think you should stay, because our house reeks of death."
Great for scaring children and keeping them out of the flower beds! "Yes Billy, the owner of the house before the Johnsons really did die in there".
The possibilities are endless. There need to be real estate websites with these sort of listings! Heck, when the next Dot-Com era comes, I'll start one!
Comment removed (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Googling for dates? (Score:5, Funny)
Do you mean "+blonde, +"blue eyes" - kids - smoker +modell +"Greek guys"?
My God that's dissapointing, Damn racist computer program engine favors some crappy island over it's own maker.
I think Captian Kirk had something to say on the subject. Can't...find...link....
Re:There is a trait highly common in criminals (Score:3, Funny)
What do you mean? We voted them into office...
Oh, wait. You said smart, not successful.
The Jerk 2k4 (Score:2, Funny)
SouthPark Refrence. (Score:2, Funny)
"oh shut up halfy you don't have any legs you coulden't screw anything."
Halfie [southparkstudios.com]
note, link is a clip from a different episode, but it has the same point.
Re:IQ test (Score:2, Funny)
KFG
Re:Googling for dates? (Score:2, Funny)
Just don't post it to Slashdot using your name (Score:5, Funny)
Just don't post the results to Slashdot using your real name in case your neighbours are also using Google to check you out.
Maybe seed Google with your own bogus details, "John is Amish and does not own any consumer electronics worth stealing, he has a black belt in Karate and breeds rattlesnakes as a hobby..."
Xix.
Are you kidding? (Score:3, Funny)
There's a common acronym for a SMART crook.... (Score:4, Funny)
It's all downhill after... (Score:2, Funny)
Found Out She's a Porn Star (Score:2, Funny)
I was relieved to see that it was just the same name, not the same person. Now when :-)
I look back however, I think of all the things that could have been.....
Re:All backwards! (Score:3, Funny)
i would.
but for some strange reason my last copy of the fugitive list didn't have any phone numbers or adresses with the pictures...
Re:Technology is a double edged sword.. (Score:3, Funny)
P.S. Don't forget the picture. Thanks.
Re:Technology is a double edged sword.. (Score:3, Funny)
I suppose that's -one- way of looking at pissing off a large group of females. Really though, I think Hari-kiri might be the better term for that activity though.
Data minning 101 (Score:4, Funny)
All a girl has to be is an inch off and the search fails.
Also if she says "I'm into brainy guys", "I'm into nerdy guys" or "Geeks make me hot" the search fails... Not that I'd expect anyone to say "geeks make me hot" just giving an example...
As for the "Into geek guys" forget it she's gone by now... Every Slashdot geek had sent her a preposal.... well ok I'm more a tweek thow.. (Diffrence between me and a geek? I've got less brains and I'm insain...).
+blonde +thirtysomething +"blue eyes" -kids +"36 24 36" -smoker +5'11" +model +"into geeky guys"
Ok let's try remaking this to be a more realistic search ok?
+blonde This is fine.. Every "yellow" haired woman calls herself blonde.
+thirtysomething Changes are you'll get her exact age why should she even bother with the term "thirtysomething" strike it..
+"blue eyes" ok... A bit exssesive but the search would work...
-kids This is vage enough it will block all "with kids" it will also knock out "Not ready for kids" or "can't stand kids"... But it's a reasonable filter we can knock it out later.. if needed.
"36 24 36" Are we searching for a date or giving specs for a fembot? Human beings aren't going to fit an exact mold. Strike it...
-smoker Like kids this filters "I am a smoker" and "I am not a smoker"... This is probably not the kind of thing you want to filter... Leave it in for first search.
+5'11" Ahem.. So if she's 5'10" or 6'" your not intrested?
+5' This will give you everyone who is 5 foot...
+model Ahem.. are we searching for dates or phone sex? If she says she's a model she is eather lying or to busy to actually date.
Strike it...
+"into geeky guys" Way to detailed... She'd have to actually use that exact phrase.
Try just +geek.. This will scoop up "I'm a geek girl looking for a geek guy"
Now we have: +blonde +"blue eyes" -kids +5' +geek
1,630 results.... Exelent...
Now I can screen them by hand for... dear god no [hotornotcollege.com] Huston we have a problem.
+woman
1,060 results... Good.
Let's trim this down a tad +female. The search results still had to many guys "looking for a woman"... Just need to imprint on the search the importance of finding a FEMALE date..
Ok to many unrelated results... Oh sure I like "Buffy the vampire slayer" but reading about how much fans like Spike dose not get me anywhere.
+dating
Well.. I'll ferther refine this but that will be to my personal tasts...
Damn it thow.. I find a post on Japanise intrested in western and it's Japanise MEN looking for western wemen.
Oh the +blond thing kinda makes that not happen anyway.
I'm srapping "blue eyes" becouse I don't care about eye color.. Then add +California becouse that is where I live.
424 results... I'll be refining this all freaking night...
Well I found this nifty link [lovecity.com] and I can finish my search that way.
And that is how you ue google to find a date.
Oh dear god I'm pathetic... Finding dates by computer... I'm affrade I need to bash my self senseless now.
good new business to start (Score:2, Funny)
Define their goal/problem and solve it with a powerpoint slide presentation define their solution and step by step guide on what to do and not to do so they can succeed.
add in the papar
"Are you a dumb crook, too stupid, left highschool at 15 and now are looking for quick bucks but dont want to be caught by FBI who left school at 18? Then call us , CRIMEDOESPAY(for 10% fee) , tell us what you dont or plan to do, and we will define a business plan to make sure you will succeed and not get 'trapped'. All details are highly confidential and all data will be destroyed after consultation and fees paid. Call 555-CRIME. or check us out online www.defeat-the-fbi-mmmkay.com "
Re:Technology is a double edged sword.. (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Technology is a double edged sword.. (Score:3, Funny)
I have a good friend who insists HIS woman is a gorgeous busty blonde with a comp-sci degree. She certainly has a degree, and she is certainly a BIT blonde.... and so long as HE thinks shes gorgeous he's happy. In fact - she's rough as hell. Bung her onto hotornot and test your taste! Anything less than an 8.9 and your deluding yourself and should trade up!
Too much time at jailbabes (Score:2, Funny)
Re:BE CAREFUL OF LINK! (Score:4, Funny)
I think your pants are on fire.
Re:What if she finds out... (Score:3, Funny)
Well, chances are that unless she, herlelf, is a geek, she won't know what slashdot is.
Then again, you might get the "Oh so you're the guy I modded '-1 offtopic' last week" treatment.
Tiggs