The Self-Tuning Guitar

CowboyRobot writes "With the TransPerformance Performer you push a button to activate a mechanical re-tensioning of the strings to any of a few hundred tunings, 'accurate to within 2 cents over the entire tuning range', in a couple of seconds. They can even refit your existing guitar. There's a long audio interview with Jimmy Page on the site. It's funny to hear him speak."

I for one....

[CompWerks]

Welcome our Self-tuning guitar overlords.

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

I can't wait...

[bc90021]

...for when cars become self-tuning too. ;)

Sweetness...

[bucktug]

Now if only they could get one to automatically play a real F or some of the more complicated SUS7#'s for us...

I have the fealing that most guitarists use the F just to stop me from trying to learn the song.

--Turvey

Roadies

[Em Emalb]

man, I feel bad for the roadies.

No more tuning the guitars.

Sucks to be them.

Guess its mic checks from here on out. Sorry fellas.

Cool, but...

[kinnell]

Does it run linux? It would be cool to be able to check your email in the middle of a gig by running mutt on the LCD display.

vocalists

[v_1_r_u_5]

Now if only we can get these for vocalists...

Worried

[physicsboy500]

now I don't have to be concerned that I'm putting to much tension on my G-string... phew!

"But will it auto tuna fish ?"

[Onan The Librarian]

Well, someone was going to say it...

Hmmm

[pHatidic]

Take a look under the testimonials [selftuning.com] section...Used by the band "Paul Allen and the Microsofts"??? I'm not sure if this is a joke or not, but /.'ers believe you me, its an omen. This thing must someone be evil.

I don't know about how effective the tuner is....

[Eevee]

But the site sucks big time. Nothing like having to constantly scroll in a tiny window when the rest of my display is going to waste to make me want to buy a product.

Of course, the site is designed with the artiste in mind, which means looking good is more important than actually being good.

Time to move on

[Anonymous Coward]

Now that just anyone can tune a guitar, I guess I have to find something more elite...

In other news

[scatter_gather]

I have invented the self-playing guitar. In a fit of creative frenzy I have named it the CD!

Re:Worried

[thelasttemptation]

I'm more worried that physic's boy 500 has a g-string...

Re:Jimmy Page

[mtrupe]

If anyone doesn't know who Jimmy Page is, please post your address so I can come smack you.

Re:Cool, but

[mtrupe]

Yeah, just like all the green-ass programming students are still learning assembly before writing crappy programs in VB. Err, wait a minute...

Re:Jimmy Page

[FearUncertaintyDoubt]

Quoth Homer:
"You can see everything from here! There's Big Ben, there's Picadilly Circus, and there's Jimmy Page, the greatest thief of American Black Music who ever lived!"

And now all we need is

[namidim]

self tuning singers......

Re:Cool, but...

[gravelpup]

Paul Allen is funding this, therefore it sucks. But Allen is funding SpaceShipOne, which is cool! But SpaceShipOne is Armadillo's competitor, therefore it sucks! But... *head explodes*

Re:I wonder...

[Skater]

Ironically, they were going out of style!

--RJ

Re:Roadies

[LittleBigLui]

Guess its mic checks from here on out. Sorry fellas.

but mic checks are so much more rewarding:

(big festival, crowd waiting for next band)

Roadie: Microphone check ...
Roadie: ... one, TWO!
Crowd: ONE, TWO!
Roadie: CHECK, CHECK, ONE, TWO!
Crowd: CHECK, CHECK, ONE, TWO!
(Singer enters the stage, hugs roadie)
Singer: That nice guy is Jimmy. Everybody say "Fuck you, Jimmy"!
Crowd: Fuck you, Jimmy!

ahh, the sweet memories :)

Re:Roadies

[ciaohound]

Their jobs are all being outsourced to India anyway.

Stavinsky's comments...

[Threni]

...about harpists seem somewhat appropriate here:

"Harpists spend 90 percent of their lives tuning their harps, and 10 percent playing out of tune".

Re:tuning

[eggoeater]

12 full steps = 1,000,000 cents = $10,000 = cost of rehab.....

Re:Jimmy Page

[Short Circuit]

[e-mail]

"automatic guitar tuning grants'

[TekZen]

The Nashville, TN (my home city) government should have a grant program to provide these for every street musician. There is nothing more detrimantal to our downtown commerce than all of the out-of-tune, drunk singer/songwriters playing on the street.

At least we can now fix the out-of-tune part!

Re:Sweetness...

[Golias]

In that case, I suggest you use x-8-10-10-10-8 (or even x-8-10-10-10-x, if your ring-finger knuckle doesn't bend backwards very well) instead.

Remember kids, there is no money in the first five frets! :)

Re:Sweetness...

[Golias]

If you are a lesbian folk singer, there's no need to be a technical master of the guitar.

Thirtysomething male computer programmers, on the other hand, will impress nobody by singing "Blood and Fire" while openly weeping. Unless you are willing to dress up in flanel to pass yourself off as a very ugly butch lesbian and go on the Lilith Fair circuit, you need to learn how to play the whole guitar neck. :)

That'd wreck your head when using open tuning.

[dwalsh]

1. O.k. tune up the 4th and 5th strings...

2. What the?

3. Goto 1.

4. Profit!!!

pseudocode compiler: Warning, unreachable code.

Re:I wonder...

[back_pages]

Actually, there are footboxes that very brightly display a chromatic tuner while killing the output signal. So between songs, you can stomp on the box (which makes your guitar silent) and then very easily tune it visually.

You can even do this while you're talking, chewing gum, or arguing about which song to play next.

Tuning by eye, however, is something else entirely. It is an obscure talent that I've only seen demonstrated once. The guy played a steel string and he would just hold the where he could see it from the front and then turn all the knobs. When he was done, he'd announce, "That looks about right," and then hold up the guitar for the audience to inspect it. He was good, too -- the guitar was always in tune.

(It was an act of misdirection while he used his footpedal tuner. It got a great reaction from the crowd.)

Don't fall for it!!!!!!!

[trailerparkcassanova]

It's a conspiracy developed by the wives of guitar players to eliminate a reason for buying another guitar!!! The "I need another guitar for an alternate tuning" has been ironclad for the last 50 years. If you run across one of these turn away. Don't look at it. Next they'll comeup with a guitar that lets you interchange bodys, neck and pickups to eliminate the "I needed a (insert one: Gibson (insert one) LP, SG, ES335,etc Fender (insert one) Strat, Tele (insert one) w/HB,, w/S, 12 string, Rick, Gretsch, PRS, etc) justification.

Re:Roadies

[gblues]

Reminds me of an old joke:

Q: Why do sound technicians only count to two?
A: Because if they could count to three, they'd be lighting technicians.

Nathan

Re:Sweetness...

[dhudson0001]

Gawd. Why not keep 3 guitars handy...individually tuned to open string C,F & G chords. That way if your really good at scrambling, you could fake your way through most of Bob Segar's setlist...

Jimmy Page tuned within 2 cents

[c13v3rm0nk3y]

There's a long audio interview with Jimmy Page on the site. It's funny to hear him speak.

Why? Is he out of tune?

Re:Alternate Tunings

[Golias]

Oh my Gawd... You keep a copy of Grout handy!? While being an authoritative source, that book is probably the most dry and boring text ever written on the subject of music history. Hats off you you, cybin... You are clearly an information junkie!

(That, or you received a music degree recently enough that the book has not had time to be burried behind a box of old shoes in your storage closet.)

Re:Even more fabulous

[Anonymous Coward]

Unfortunately, grammer / spell checkers are still needed...