Do Your $20 Bills Explode In the Microwave?

msaulters writes "After repeatedly setting off RFID scanners in a truck stop, the author discovered the culprit was a wad of $20's in his back pocket. In a paranoid attempt to keep the government from tracking him, he attempted to fry the embedded chips in his microwave, with interesting results." Alex Jones has interesting theories about a number of things, but evidently a lot of readers were interested in this one.

'Quotes'

[zedmelon]

The part of the 'article' that should probably be 'most' ignored is Denise's 'compulsory' use of 'punctuation.'

And GEEZ. I remember being 12 and having a twenty burn a hole in my pocket, but...

*smacks forehead* Sorry.

Terrorism

[Rupan]

..."And he came in wielding this huge wad of 20's and a microwave transmitter!!..."

Re:'Quotes'

[nick0909]

Did he learn from GRC [grc.com]?

Just look at it!

[NotAnotherReboot]

I always knew Andrew Jackson was giving me the evil eye.

illegal?

[acoustix]

Isn't destroying US currency against the law?

Seems pretty smart to me: 1)Committ a federal offense. 2)Post the proof on the internet.

-Nick

Obligatory

[Paul E. Loeb]

In Soviet Russia, money burns you.

Idiot.

[Daleks]

This person isn't very smart. Why didn't he try it on one $20 bill to start with rather than all of them?

Another legitimate use for making copies of money

[Anonymous Coward]

Putting together Internet hoaxes! If they were using the latest versions of Photoshop they wouldn't have been able to make all that fake cash to singe.

Hey everyone....

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm broke. I just burned up $1K in the microwave, now please COME SLASHDOT MY SERVER AND MAKE MY HOST COMPANY CHARGE ME EXTRA FOR THE MONTH. ;)

Boy, when it rains, it pours.

Then would these notes be classified as...

[noelo]

Explosive devices and would you be allowed to take them onto planes. 'I'm sorry Sir, we're going to have to confiscate your bank notes'...

too bad the article didn't mention...

[Anonymous Coward]

...if they smelled like "old hickory" afterwards

One Liner

[Entropy248]

The Department of Homeland Security would like to remind you that you love Big Brother.

Re:Idiot.

[Anonymous Coward]

Heh, you know what they say, "In for a penny, in for a pound!"

Conspiracy theorists unite...

[Drakonite]

So THIS is why conspiracy theorists never seem to have money.

Duality

[vawlk]

While I can't believe this conspiracy theory made to to slashdot, I find myself wanting to experiment too.

I can remove the RFID Tags for Free

[netfool]

Send all of your $20s to: PO Box 7565 Jackson, Wyoming 88096

Mirror...

[Megaslow]

...AKA karma whoring for fun and profit

Mirror w/ pictures [cox.net]

According to NetCraft [netcraft.com], Alex Jones' site is hosted at EV1Servers.net... I wonder if the sum total of the ruined money is $700? I guess it would save a lot of time to just burn the money rather than give it to SCO, yet you would still have the same end result: out $700, and nothing much to show for it.

They've gotten to my eggs too

[H4x0r Jim Duggan]

hey, I just put some eggs in the microwave and they exploded - damn chickens have started putting RFID tags in their eggs already!

Re:Terrorism

[Anonymous Coward]

..."And he came in wielding this huge wad of 20's and a microwave transmitter!!..."

Isn't that how all the stories start on that Mike's Apartment porn site?

Re:No. They don't.

[the_Upsetter]

And for the record, I just zapped a $20 bill for 20 seconds and it's barely even warm, on Jackson's right eye or anywhere else

Well, I can't fault your methods, you've got every base covered. It would appear that you've conclusively proven this experiment to be a hoax!

Another peer-review success story.

Re:The most cursory inspection

[anotherone]

Has anyone tried a control experiment of plain inkjet paper in the same form factor?

What, are you kidding? And ruin a perfectly good crazy conspiracy theory?

Re:Who the fuckity fuck

[rholliday]

$1000 in cash? At a truck stop? Worried about government tracking?

Sounds like smugglers to me. :)

Re:crazy coworker

[martinX]

Was she the funny smelling one with all the cats?

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Hey! HEY NOW!

[Anonymous Coward]

Hey! We could've used that money!

Sincerely,
The Mozilla Foundation

Things I've learned from this article

[Westacular]

1. If I ever shop lift, I'll be sure to get a roll of tinfoil while I at it.

2. If I ever decide to microwave American money, I won't microwave $1000 all at once.

*Dons tinfoil wallet

[ChiaKemp]

Forget the tinfoil hats, now I need a new wallet.

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:I'm skeptical.

[Anonymous Coward]

First off, having worked at a Kmart for several years, I have a pretty good idea how the antitheft systems currently in place in most stores and libraries work, and they don't yet use RFID tags;

First time working at Kmart has qualified anyone for anything....

The tinfoil brigade

[danharan]

...apparently has money to burn :)

[sorry, I couldn't help myself... ]

Re:Idiot.

[Anonymous Coward]

There must be a critical mass of $20 bills for
the effect to manifest. :-)

Not a real surprise

[Lord Kano]

That little strip inside of the bills appears to be aluminized mylar. We all know what happens when you put aluminum foil into a microwave oven.

I made that mistake once, about 20 years ago. My mother gave me a Wendy's Kid's Meal, I didn't eat it right away. Later, I wanted to warm it up so I put into the microwave. I didn't open the box, and I forgot that they wrapped the burgers in a foil type wrapper. It was like fireworks. Bright flashed of blue-white light were coming out of the Kid's Meal box.

I nearly soiled myself out of fear. In those days they led you to believe that if you put metal in a microwave it would be like the Ghostbusters crossing the streams of their proton packs.

LK

Burning towels in the microwave

[menscher]

One morning, several years ago, I woke up with a stiff neck. It occurred to me that putting something warm on it would help. I lived in a dorm room, and had little around, other than a small microwave. So I grabbed a dry towel and put it in. Now, we all know that microwaves heat up the water in a substance. And the towel was dry. So I figured 30 seconds would just about do it. When I opened the microwave 30 seconds later, I was stabbed in the eye by a cloud of black smoke. Immediately threw the towel, with hole burned through it, into the sink.

Moral of the story: don't put a wad of cash into the microwave.

Re:They've gotten to my eggs too

[whereiswaldo]

Ha! You should see what happened when I put my /tinfoil hat/ in the microwave!

Re:No. They don't.

[cnkeller]

And for the record, I just zapped a $20 bill for 20 seconds and it's barely even warm, on Jackson's right eye or anywhere else.

You expect us to take you seriously when you don't even know the basic recipe for heating a $20?

Quack.

This story reminds me of a song...

[SquierStrat]

"Paranoia, paranoia, everybody's coming to get me!" I guess i can't blame them to much though....

Re:Idiot.

[LooseChanj]

That's what I was thinking. Maybe he did, and it didn't do anything, and the mechanism is only meant to "activate" when someone is carrying around a buttload of these. Drug dealers, terrorists, etc...

Re:I'm skeptical.

[ruprechtjones]

Yeah right, there's no such thing as a two dollar bill. Taco Bell [digiserve.com] helped disprove this silly statement of yours.

Not the evil eye...

[Art Tatum]

He's flirting with you.

Re:illegal?

[0m3gaMan]

Coming soon to thinkgeek.com: Tin foil pants!

More conspiracy images on currency

[Sabu mark]

There's an even easier way to see the twin towers hidden in U.S. currency. Take two $20 bills. Hold one in each hand so the long sides are oriented vertically. Bring your hands together. Notice that the bills look like two identical skyscrapers right next to each other!!! Clearly this proves the US government had prior knowledge. Why, I'll bet it was actually Dick Cheney at the controls of both airplanes. He wanted Halliburton to seize the Iraqi oil fields.

What's the matter? That's a hell of a lot better than the Slashdot story that actually got accepted!

Re:illegal?

[prat393]

First, it's not against the law unless he's trying to defraud someone using the mutilated currency, and second, even if it were, it's completely accidental that the money was destroyed... they just wanted to burn the RFID tag.

What they might need to watch out for, though, is a DMCA suit, as they were attempting to destroy a copy protection device. =)

conspiracy theorist loonies

[circletimessquare]

would anyone explain to me why conspiracy theory loonies seem hell bent on obsessing over radiowaves, microwaves, etc?

what i'm getting at is, your average pop psychology understanding of paranoid schizophrenia suggests that people are "out to get you", so, controlling your thoughts, tracking your movements, etc. through invisible waves is a wonderful example of this kind of thinking

but what about viruses? why not nanobots?

what i'm getting at is these loonies seem inordinately obsessed over invisible rf waves, but there are a million other "invisible hand" type illuminati control mechanisms they can obsess over

perhaps rf is just easier to understand, reflecting the general low intelligence of paranoid schozophrenics in general i guess

"Boarder officers"?

[Anonymous Coward]

With this technology, boarder officers could scan you (and your vehicle) to see if you were lying.

"Dude! You did not pull a proper 720 corkscrew! I order you to smoke a phatty!"

(I think you mean border [dictionary.com] , not boarder [dictionary.com].)

Re:I'm skeptical.

[demonbug]

I seem to recall reading somewhere that all US bills had a metal strip embedded in them somewhere.

I'd be happy to help check this out. I think the easiest way would be for everyone to send me whatever bills they happen to have. I'll carefully check them out, inspecting them for any metal strips. To ensure that whatever bills I receive are in fact legal tender, I will then proceed to the nearest Best Buy or Fry's to see whether these fine institutions accept them as such.

I know, it sounds like it will be a lot of work, but its the least I can do to furhter the knowledge of teh Slashdot crowd.

Re:illegal?

[nastyphil]

How was he supposed to know the money would start burning?

Maybe because he put it in an oven..?

Re:Canadian money

[Admiral Burrito]

Damn, I'm Canadian. Does that mean I'll have to wait to explode my money?

No, but you'll need 1.34 Canadian $20's to get the explosive power of a single American $20.

Simply put, you just don't get as much bang for your buck.

Article translated into "Bubbaspeak"

[Teahouse]

Original transcript of article before it was "prettied up" for public consumption.

Me and Bubba was hanging out in this truck stop. We had just escaped a pack of UFO's on highway 66 in our Kenworth while hauling grapes from Florida to Nevada! I saw em! They had lights on them and these strange whirling blade above them!

At this point we had been on crystal-meth for about 46 hours, so obviously our minds were a-clear. So there we were in the truck stop counting all the money we done made transporting meth across state lines for this "mex" called Jose. We had a huge wad of cash! As we left, this young pencil-neck (probably an alien in disguise) started hasseling us about how we hadn't paid for some chewing gum in out pockets or something. That's when I started a wondering how they KNEW?! Must be one of dem R.I.D.E. tags I hear the guberment is using to control our minds! They know our thoughts!

So, Bubba and I bought us some shiney tin foil and wrapped it on our heads. Thank the lord Jesus for the Crystal Meth! We couldn't have come up with this idear ta stop em without it! Well, we started to leave again, and the lil alien started bugging us again about the gum. THEY STILL KNEW! I figured right about then that it must be OUR MONEY! Sure, Bill Gates controls the money, and Jose must have put tracking devices in it fer him!

So we gots real smart and put our money in the microwave! Now it's OK to spend. Sure, it's brown and burnt, but we can still spend it at the titty bar! Thank god for Crystal Meth! Next time, Bubba and I will make sure we bring extra, just in case the guberment tries to bug our coffee.

Re:Haha

[Micro$will]

As my EM prof put it - putting tin-foil into your microwave turns it into a spark plug, and god help you if the sparks strike any explosive elements.

Thank goodness you posted that. I've been storing gasoline in my microwave for years thinking it was safe.

F.Y.I. The worst you could do to a microwave by putting metal inside is break the magnatron, and when it breaks, it will just die, not explode or any cool shit like that. This urban legend was debunked like last season. [discovery.com] I can't even find the listing for it anymore.

Re:illegal?

[Texas Rose on Lava L]

In this case, it's a $20 fine per bill destroyed. Unlike most crimes, there's no need for police, judges, etc. to enforce this.

But is it art?

[MillionthMonkey]

The only thing that would be against the law is defacing currency and attempting to use it in commerce.

What if I draw moustaches on the presidents and sell the doctored notes as artistic portraits of Saddam Hussein?

Re:illegal?

[PacoTaco]

Isn't destroying US currency against the law?

Not a problem. Just make a photocopy first.

fruit from California

[DeathBunnyRanger]

if the fruit were married in california, could the truck only go to MASS and VT since their fructial union is honored there?

You fool!!

[Senjutsu]

Clearly the government secretly placed an RFID tag in your paper towel sheets in order to track your every spill!!! Placing the towel in the microwave obviously caused the tag to explode, and from now on you should wrap all of you paper towels in tinfoil to prevent the government from spying on you!!!

Re:I'm skeptical.

[serutan]

... a kid who sets off those scanners ... because his body happens to generate the precise frequency of electromagnetic energy they're keyed to.

Like hell. That's a stolen kid! Put his parents under arrest!

Re:Haha

[The Clockwork Troll]

F.Y.I. The worst you could do to a microwave by putting metal inside is break the magnatron, and when it breaks, it will just die, not explode or any cool shit like that.

I can vouch for this. We went to the county fair every year I was in high school and every fucking time the Magnatron was broken and it just sat there like some shitty UFO exhibit cum Christmas lights. This sucked because I heard they played Floyd inside and you could crawl on the walls like a spider. At least that's what all the kids a grade higher than us said. We usually ended the night at someone's house, stoned and eating microwave popcorn, the message here being that everything comes full circle (except of course that Magnatron).

Re:I can remove the RFID Tags for Free

[jbtule]

I think you made a typo in your address, I think you meant to type Nigeria.

slashdot effect

[krokodil]

In recent manifestation of so-called "slashdot effect" power consumption in western united states peaked 200% around 11pm today after bunch of geeks tried to fry their 20 dollars bills in microware ovens in attempt to uncover government conspiracy to track them via hidden micro chips (called RFID tags) in their bills.

oh Yeah?? well.. on canadian money...

[Professor Chaos]

on the canadian $5 bill you can turn sir wilfred laurier into spock. just draw some pointy ears and the hairdo and voila! perfect likeness ..sigh.. i guess you guys win this round...

Re:illegal?

[Unleashd]

Yea, Yea

and in Soviet Russia ...

We got already :P

Re:'Quotes'

[Chester K]

I remember being 12 and having a twenty burn a hole in my pocket, but...

In Capitalist America, YOU burn a hole in money!

Re:But is it art?

[bigsteve@dstc]

What if I draw moustaches on the presidents and sell the doctored notes as artistic portraits of Saddam Hussein?

That's legal as long as don't put Andy Warhol's signature in the bottom right corner.

Re:They've gotten to my eggs too

[eggsome]

I acctually did this once, I thought it would be cool to work out the exact amount of time it would take to blow up and then do it for a couple of seconds less every time.
Super convienient hard boiled eggs!
Unfortunatly on my first attempt I discovered what a mess it made and abandoned the project... (who whoulda thunk it!?)
It was acctually on the last second of the pre-set time I had given it which made it quite dis-hartening to hear a -BANG- and then immediately a BEEEEP of the microwave having finished.

Re:illegal?

[jmauro]

I was under the impression that the metals in the penny are more valuable then the penny, but I may be mistaken.

The metals cost less than the penny. The reason pennies are still made is that the mint makes a profit on each one made. Once they stop making money, they'll stop making pennies.

This is exactly why

[Anonymous Squonk]

I never carry anything but quarters. This was a bit troubling when I paid the deposit on my house, but it's a small price to pay for keeping the prying eyes of The Man out of my financial transactions.

Slashdot would be screwed.

[Bill_Royle]

If the feds tried to arrest every person who had committed some sort of crime and then posted it to the internet, I have a feeling that Slashdot would be very quiet.

Re:illegal?

[Jacek Poplawski]

I always thought that as long as you had more than half of the bill, you can just take it to a bank and have it replaced...

Wow!

1) Take 4 * 1$
2) Break it into: 4 * ( 3 * 1/3$ )
3) Group it into: ( 2 * 3 ) * 2/3$
4) Now you have 6 * 2/3$
5) Give it to bank
6) Get 6$ from bank

Profit = 6$ - 4$ = 2$

And now repeat.

Re:No money lost

[Penguinshit]

Actually, I believe the Secret Service would gift-wrap your ass and deliver it to your new husband Bubba for his exclusive use during your ten year stay in a Federal penitentiary of their choice...

Re:They've gotten to my eggs too

[plumby]

Make a small hole in one end before putting the egg in the microwave. If you're lucky, you end up with a nice circle of scrambled egg sprayed around the inside.

Re:illegal?

[irishkev]

You're not supposed to deface a u.s. flag, either. Well, here's George Bush doing that:

http://www.cryptogon.com/2003_07_20_blogarchive. ht ml#105918027068361202

Re:I'm skeptical.

[Anonymous Coward]

Working at Kmart with excellent grammar and intimate knowledge of their security system no less ... sounds like a dangerous employee to me.

Re:'Quotes'

[B3ryllium]

Your computer is broadcasting an internet address!

Re:illegal?

[snaphu]

"2)Post the proof on the internet."

Proof on the internet? now that's funny

Super Happy Microwave Fun.

[Channard]

metal inside is break the magnatron

Tell me about it. I broke my Magnatron, and totally fried Optimus Prime too. That's the last time I play Decepticon Rays From Space with my Transformers.

Re:I'm skeptical.

[Hadlock]

I used to work at CompUSA (four years ago). We found a roll of those square antitheft stickers commonly found in DVDs and Microsoft software boxes. We then set about 100 of them, sticky side up throughout the store. Asshole (as we call him, the guy who checks your reciept as you walk out the door) couldn't figure out what the hell was going on when 95% of the customers (shoes, unknowingly) would set off the beeper on their way out. Best day of work ev-ar. To be 16 again...

Re:That's solid logic...

[wildsurf]

<John Cleese with a German accent>
Good evening. The last scene was interesting from the point of view of a professional logician because it contained a number of logical fallacies; that is, invalid propositional constructions and syllogistic forms, of the type so often committed by my wife.

'All wood burns,' states Sir Bedevere. 'Therefore,' he concludes, 'all that burns is wood.' This is, of course, pure bullshit. Universal affirmatives can only be partially converted: all of Alma Cogan is dead, but only some of the class of dead people are Alma Cogan. Obvious, one would think. However, my wife does not understand this necessary limitation of the conversion of a proposition; consequently, she does not understand me; for how can a woman expect to appreciate a professor of logic, if the simplest cloth-eared syllogism causes her to flounder?

For example, given the premise, 'all fish live underwater' and 'all mackerel are fish', my wife will conclude, not that 'all mackerel live underwater', but that 'if she buys kippers it will not rain', or that 'trout live in trees', or even that 'I do not love her any more.' This she calls 'using her intuition'. I call it 'crap', and it gets me very irritated, because it is not logical. 'There will be no supper tonight,' she will sometimes cry upon my return home. 'Why not?' I will ask. 'Because I have been screwing the milkman all day,' she will say, quite oblivious of the howling error she has made. 'But,' I will wearily point out, 'even given that the activities of screwing the milkman and getting supper are mutually exclusive, now that the screwing is over, surely then, supper may now, logically, be got.' 'You don't love me any more,' she will now often postulate. 'If you did, you would give me one now and again, so that I would not have to rely on that rancid Pakistani for my orgasms.' 'I will give you one after you have got me my supper,' I now usually scream, 'but not before'-- as you understand, making her bang contingent on the arrival of my supper. 'God, you turn me on when you're angry, you ancient brute!' she now mysteriously deduces, forcing her sweetly throbbing tongue down my throat. 'Fuck supper!' I now invariably conclude, throwing logic somewhat joyously to the four winds, and so we thrash about on our milk-stained floor, transported by animal passion, until we sink back, exhausted, onto the cartons of yogurt.

I'm afraid I seem to have strayed somewhat from my original brief. But in a nutshell: sex is more fun than logic-- one cannot prove this, but it 'is' in the same sense that Mount Everest 'is', or that Alma Cogan 'isn't'.

Goodnight.
</Cleese>

Re:RSA RFID Blocker Tag

[myowntrueself]

"it impersonates all 2**64 possible serial numbers"

Oh gee, I can see that being *really* helpful when the Homeland Defense automated luggage checking system asks your luggage "Are you a suitcase nuke?" and it answers "Why, yes I am!"

Re:This is exactly why

[Mike Buddha]

Of course they can hear you jingle-jangling a mile away...

Re:illegal?

[ArseneLupin]

And what if he just had sprinkled it with holy water instead? ;-)

Re:'Quotes'

[Ohreally_factor]

Mod great grandparent up for being so stupid that it's funny.

Mod grandparent down on general priciples.

Mod parent up, because we do really care that he doesn't think anyone gives a crap what the grandparent poster thinks.

Don't give me mod points. Instead, give me those twenty dollar bills you suspect of having chips implanted. I'll test them for you. To preserve anonymity, you may send them to me via Pay Pal.

And whatever child or grandchild posts appear here (if any) mod them up, again, on general principles.

Re:Idiot.

[Concerned Onlooker]

Indeed. And check out this quote:
That is according to the minimum wage employees working at the truck stop!

It looks like not being a minimum wage employee didn't stop him from toasting the entire wad of cash.

Andrew Jackson's rolling in his grave...

[Wolfier]

Ouch....
My...
Eye...
!!!

Australian Money

[marinebane]

Australian Money is much more fun. As it is plastic, it melts in the microwave, and as a definate bonus it also releases toxic fumes!

Hey, Slashdot higher-ups...

[quintessent]

Weren't you looking to hire another news editor?

Re:They've gotten to my eggs too

[dr_tube]

Haha, you should see what happened when I put a grenade in my microwave!

Replacing the Bills

[DaRat]

Just imagine the scene at the bank when the intrepid couple goes to replace their cash:

"Umm, I want to replace my 20's because I was dumb enough to burn them in the microwave."

Actually, I'm not sure if banks will take seriously damaged cash. I know that there is a Dept of Treasury office [moneyfactory.com] that will replace damaged bills (as long as there is 51% of the bill left), but would a bank take a stack of them since they'd have to turn around and do the replacement? I imagine that the conspiracy couple would just love having to send their money into the government.

Re:Guv'mint conspiracy?

[RdsArts]

Government? Oh no no no, it reaches higher up then that.

It's really the aliens. You heard me.

*dons tin foil hat and wallet*

Go on. Keep living in your dream world of 'metal strips' and 'governments.'

Re:illegal?

[XPulga]

In a country where peanut bags come with may contain peanuts printed and microwave ovens must tell the owner explictly not to use it to dry pets, to avoid liability with very stupid customers, I wouldn't be surprised if someone accused of currency destruction sued either

• (a) The oven manufacturer, for not stating that it may damage currency in the manual; or
• 
  (b) The government, for not printing do not microwave in the currency; or
  (c) The bank who gave them currency without a proper usage manual.
  

or all of them, and won some.

Re:'Quotes'

[Anonymous Coward]

Oh no it's not you monkey puppet, I just pulled out th=20 ]} $}1}&..}=3Dr}'}"}[NO CARRIER]

Re:Haha

[Anonymous Coward]

The worst you could do?? You should've seen what happened when I put a can of gasoline in the microwave, you insensitive clod.

Re:Australian Money

[Lord_Dweomer]

So do your microwave plates spin clockwise, or counter-clockwise down there mate?

Re:'Quotes'

[kubrick]

Yeah, sure, all the rest of that stuff is pretty wacky...

but it's true about the owl god.

[wink]

Re:illegal?

[iMMersE]

Once they stop making money, they'll stop making pennies.

I don't think you meant it to be funny, but seriously, this has got me in stitches.

Re:Super Happy Microwave Fun.

[IainHere]

Now, where's the moderation option "actually hurt myself laughing"?

Re:illegal?

[realnowhereman]

That would be such a nice theory if all the thirds were equal. They aren't. You can't stick the two front thirds of a note together and claim you've got 2/3 of a whole one... Actually I'm wrong there: you could claim that.

Re:They've gotten to my eggs too

[identity0]

I was microwaving my tinfoil hat when it was like, 'Beep Beep Beep Beep' and then, like, half the hat was gone.

And I was, like, "uuuunh?"

It DEVOURED my tinfoil hat.

It was a really good tinfoil hat.

And then I had to nuke it again, and it wasn't as good because I had to do it fast before the Illuminati came.

It was... ...a bummer.

My name is Ellen Feiss, and they're all out to get me.

Only in America

[Underholdning]

From the article: ... We then walked across the street to a store and purchased aluminum foil. . "It's a conspiracy! They bugged my money! Quick - get some TINFOIL!" I wouldn't be surpriced if he used the rest of that roll to make a tinfoil hat and put in on his head.

Re:I can remove the RFID Tags for Free

[Phroggy]

I don't want to pay for postage; do you have an e-mail address I could send them to instead?

Re:Better control experiment...

[Frogbert]

Thats nothing, one day me and a few (lady) friends decided we would go to our local adult bookshop for a look around for an 18th birthday present. Obviously I had no problems being seen entering such a place with two attractive women at my side so we went and had a look around. A few giggles and $15 later we emerged with a plastic... massage... device deftly sealed up in a brown paper bag. We were pleased with our purchase and decided to get along with our day.

Our next stop was at the local Target supermarket so we entered and had a look around bought some CD's and went to leave. Not so fast unfortunatly a hidden anti-theft tag was atached to the phallus of my girlfriends new best friend. This lead to an interesting conundrum, we had the option of:
a. Showing a 14 year old girl (who was clearly working her first day) and a few interested onlookers what was in the bag.
b. Waiting for the Cops to rock up and then showing them what was in the bag.
c. Attempt to tell her what was in the bag whilst keeping as diplomatic as possible.
It should also be pointed out that it was infact me holding the bag and this was not something I would like to be seen with.

Ultimitly we were able to communicate the contents of the bag and one quick peek and a sheepish smile later we were on our way. I learnt a valuable lesson that day my friends. Don't forget your towel (of al foil).

Re:illegal?

[ManxStef]

The only thing that would be against the law is defacing currency and attempting to use it in commerce.

So if you're in Canada would doing this [thetoque.net] get you in trouble? :)

Re:They've gotten to my eggs too

[orcrist]

Move that hole a little down to the side of one end for that sprinkler action... ;-)

-chris

Re:They've gotten to my eggs too

[Genom]

But Weird Al said I could get a great tan that way... ;P

Re:'Quotes'

[fafaforza]

Quotes like

We then wrapped our cash in foil and went thru the same monitors. No monitor went off.

make me want to travel to the location of the web server and smash it with a hammer.

Freudian slip of the year?

[Snaller]

I'm not terrorably concerned with the goverment tracking the movement of money

You are not TERRORably concerned with the government? Hm...

Money left over

[Metryq]

Those detectors at Walmart are not anti-theft gates, they're warnings that a customer is leaving the store with money still in his pocket!

Re:what?!

[tverbeek]

Why the hell was someone carrying around $1000, mostly in 20s, in their wallet?

Because he needs a reserve of 'cash' on him in case the UN breaks into his trailer and steals his 'mattress'.

I'm wondering what kind of 'wallet' a stack of nearly 50 'bills' fits into, and how he could 'sit' comfortably with it in his pocket.

Most unhelpful helpful post ever.

[Mr Guy]

I particularly like the emphasis through bolding. It's a subtle and yet clear way of saying, "This is what I mean" in a way that also says, "I speak Swedish and you don't".

It's truly an inspired effort to be very clear and yet say nothing at all to your largely English speaking audience. Kudos.

Re:The actual law on mutilation

[flimflam]

Christ, everyone is a damned contrarian.

No I'm not!

New think geek item

[nazsco]

foil covered wallet.

Re:They've gotten to my eggs too

[110010001000]

damn, you are a junior in COLLEGE with spelling like that? Wow, time to revoke their charter...

Re:illegal?

[Scrameustache]

The only thing that would be against the law is defacing currency and attempting to use it in commerce. So we learned in Business Law.

Well, that explains every decision my boss ever made. Not one included defacing currency...

Re:'Quotes'

[BHearsum]

Yes, let's judge everybody by how 'crazy' they sound. Nevermind if there's fact and evidence behind it -- if it sounds crazy, it must be crazy!

Re:Haha

[MotherInferior]

d00d, that's Gravitron. Not Magnatron. Ours played Led Zeppelin, and you could climb the walls about like spiders climb water. The G's generally pinned you to the wall and sent your stomach into the rafters.

Beowulf cluster

[cra]

This person isn't very smart. Why didn't he try it on one $20 bill to start with rather than all of them?

Well, I guess he wanted to try out a Beowulf cluster of them. . . :-)

Re:Most unhelpful helpful post ever.

[richie2000]

Well, bork-de-bork-bork on you too. ;-)

makes mugging more efficient!

[DoomDoom]

A mugger can get an RFID scanner, hide in a alley and only step up for business when he gets a strong signal. This eliminates the possibility of mugging people with only petty cash!

Bet you didn't even think of this !

Saved by a second

[way2trivial]

actually, had you set it for a second or two less, and opened the door- it would have gone off in your face.

Re:Better control experiment...

[buckinm]

I learnt a valuable lesson that day my friends. Don't forget your towel (of al foil).

Shouldn't the valuable lesson be "leave the dildo in the car when you go into Target?"

Re:Hey, Slashdot higher-ups...

[sckeener]

actually I was thinking the Iraqi Information Minister....

Re:illegal?

[richie2000]

Nonono, that's a simple mistranslataion. That offence, gravy as it may be, is not punishable by death, but by diet. That's right - you kill the meatball, you pay the price. No more meat for you!

Foil Strip?

[dukeisgod]

If I remember right, US bills have a mylar/foil strip running thru them. You can see it when you hold them up to the light. It also contains a blacklight sensitive dye. If this guy is afraid that strip is being used to track him, he can just throw the gummint off by sending his money to me.

Warning

[CCRancor]

Take it from someone who's learned it the hard way; DO NOT microwave your Visa card!

The bills, the bills, the bills are on fire!

[Cytlid]

We don't need no water let the Andrew Jackson burn
burn Andrew Jackson, burn.

Re:Better control experiment...

[Chris Burke]

Shouldn't the valuable lesson be "leave the dildo in the car when you go into Target?"

Heh. Yep! Leave it to a geek to learn the impractical lesson. "Never leave the house without your cross-spectrum radio-frequency jammer, tin foil, and collapsable antennae, because otherwise you won't be able to take dildos with you into Target."

Which, granted, is advice I could have used on several occasions. Where was he then?!

Re:'Quotes'

[blackbear]

I still couldn't resist tossing my own two cents onto the fire.

Careful, those two cents may contain RFIDs and could therefore explode if tossed onto a fire.

Just lookin' out for y'all.

Re:'Quotes'

[Chris Burke]

The FEMA boxes effectively turn the tens of thousands of individual broadcast stations into a single government propaganda channel. When activated, there will be only one version of the news: the government version.

I'm not sure but I think that's called the Emergency Alert System ;)

Not so fast! I've heard of this before, and it does turn thousands of individual broadcast stations into government propaganda outlets. But I think he got the wrong acronym for Fox News.

Paper money? Who cares, they have your plastic.

[DR SoB]

Why would they bother with paper money that they can't tie to any specific person? That would be pointless to say the least.. It would make much more sense (and is MUCH easier) to use cell phones and credit cards to track people. Try sticking your credit card in the microwave you clod.

Re:'Quotes'

[telstar]

What do you propose we use instead? How he smells? "He smells CRAZY today!".

Re:Haha . it's conditional.

[nelsonal]

Our first microwave came with a recipe book for the microwave, one recipe was for bownies that included the tip, put a bit of foil in the corners to keep the brownies from drying out. It was the first time we had ever used a microwave, and you can imagine the shock when lighting began flying around the microwave.

Your so wrong

[PetoskeyGuy]

Photoshop doesn't work with the new $20 bills. :)

Poor misguided fellow

[poot_rootbeer]

Wait a minute. This guy is trying to determine whether cash has RADIO FREQUENCY ID's embedded in it... by exposing them to MICROWAVE FREQUENCY radiation?

Something tells me he slept through his Physics for Crackpots lectures.

Microwave

[Two in the Hat]

Will the microwave oven work on the chips in my head too?

Embedded Chips In Grapes

[Arkine]

1. Cut a grape in half and put the two halfs next to each other on a paper plate.

2. Set microwave to 30.

3. Profit!!!!!

Grapes have embedded chips!

Re:Saved by a second

[sharkey]

actually, had you set it for a second or two less, and opened the door- it would have gone off in your face.

Show of hands: How many of you are going to run off and try this now?

It goes deeper

[Anonymous Coward]

Apparently, a number of slashdotters have tried putting $20 bills in the microwave. Well, I thought I'd try the same with other currency and the results are nothing short of a fullblown implication of our government! (Yes, you can even try this at home to verify that everything I'm doing is real.) I placed $10 in quarters into the microwave and it lit up like the 4th of July. Clearly, the government is tracking even currency down to the coin level!

Correct Answer

[ashitaka]

"Negative, I am a meat popsicle"

What the article needs

[Anonymous Coward]

is not punctuation, but More Cowbell [geekspeakweekly.com]!

Re:They've gotten to my eggs too

[whittrash]

The East Gemans did an experiment I read about to track currency by making it radioactive. This caused problems from coins when sitting in mens front pockets, making them sterile...ooops.

the Eyes are Moving!

[ElliotLee]

Do you know what exploded on American money?? The right eye of Andrew Jackson on the new twenty, every bill was uniform

Of course they're in his eyes. The government is using them to track or 'watch' us! ;)

Re:They've gotten to my eggs too

[another_henry]

Nope - I just used other people's microwaves ;)

It is not a RFID...

[Maljin Jolt]

It's a camera device!