Do Your $20 Bills Explode In the Microwave? 1165
msaulters writes "After repeatedly setting off RFID scanners in a truck stop, the author discovered the culprit was a wad of $20's in his back pocket. In a paranoid attempt to keep the government from tracking him, he attempted to fry the embedded chips in his microwave, with interesting results." Alex Jones has interesting theories about a number of things, but evidently a lot of readers were interested in this one.
'Quotes' (Score:5, Funny)
And GEEZ. I remember being 12 and having a twenty burn a hole in my pocket, but...
*smacks forehead* Sorry.
Terrorism (Score:1, Funny)
Re:'Quotes' (Score:4, Funny)
Just look at it! (Score:5, Funny)
illegal? (Score:3, Funny)
Seems pretty smart to me: 1)Committ a federal offense. 2)Post the proof on the internet.
-Nick
Obligatory (Score:1, Funny)
Idiot. (Score:5, Funny)
Another legitimate use for making copies of money (Score:2, Funny)
Hey everyone.... (Score:5, Funny)
Boy, when it rains, it pours.
Then would these notes be classified as... (Score:3, Funny)
too bad the article didn't mention... (Score:1, Funny)
One Liner (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Idiot. (Score:4, Funny)
Conspiracy theorists unite... (Score:5, Funny)
Duality (Score:3, Funny)
I can remove the RFID Tags for Free (Score:4, Funny)
Mirror... (Score:5, Funny)
Mirror w/ pictures [cox.net]
According to NetCraft [netcraft.com], Alex Jones' site is hosted at EV1Servers.net... I wonder if the sum total of the ruined money is $700? I guess it would save a lot of time to just burn the money rather than give it to SCO, yet you would still have the same end result: out $700, and nothing much to show for it.
They've gotten to my eggs too (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Terrorism (Score:2, Funny)
Re:No. They don't. (Score:5, Funny)
Well, I can't fault your methods, you've got every base covered. It would appear that you've conclusively proven this experiment to be a hoax!
Another peer-review success story.
Re:The most cursory inspection (Score:5, Funny)
What, are you kidding? And ruin a perfectly good crazy conspiracy theory?
Re:Who the fuckity fuck (Score:5, Funny)
Sounds like smugglers to me.
Re:crazy coworker (Score:3, Funny)
Comment removed (Score:3, Funny)
Hey! HEY NOW! (Score:2, Funny)
Sincerely,
The Mozilla Foundation
Things I've learned from this article (Score:2, Funny)
2. If I ever decide to microwave American money, I won't microwave $1000 all at once.
*Dons tinfoil wallet (Score:5, Funny)
That's solid logic... (Score:4, Funny)
Villagers: Are there? What? Tell us, then! Tell us!
Belvedere: Tell me. What do you do with witches?
Villagers: BUUUURN!!!!! BUUUUUURRRRNN!!!!! You BURN them!!!! BURN!!
Belvedere: And what do you burn apart from witches?
Villager: More Witches!
Other Villager: Wood.
Belvedere: So. Why do witches burn?
(long silence)
(shuffling of feet by the villagers)
Villager: (tentatively) Because they're made of.....wood?
Belvedere: Goooood!
Other Villagers: oh yeah... oh....
Belvedere: So. How do we tell whether she is made of wood?
One Villager: Build a bridge out of 'er!
Belvedere: Aah. But can you not also make bridges out of stone?
Villagers: oh yeah. oh. umm...
Belvedere: Does wood sink in water?
One Villager: No! No, no, it floats!
Other Villager: Throw her into the pond!
Villagers: yaaaaaa!
(when order is restored)
Belvedere: What also floats in water?
Villager: Bread!
Another Villager: Apples!
Another Villager: Uh...very small rocks!
Another Villager: Cider!
Another Villager: Uh...great gravy!
Another Villager: Cherries!
Another Villager: Mud!
Another Villager: Churches! Churches!
Another Villager: Lead! Lead!
King Arthur: A Duck!
Villagers: (in amazement) ooooooh!
Belvedere: exACTly!
Belvedere: (to a villager) So, *logically*...
Villager: (very slowly, with pauses between each word) If...she...weighs the same as a duck......she's made of wood.
Belvedere: and therefore...
(pause)
Villager: A Witch!
All Villagers: A WITCH!
(they do consequently weigh her across from a duck on Bedevere's largest scale, and she does indeed weigh the same as the duck.)
Witch: (to camera) It's a fair cop.
Re:I'm skeptical. (Score:5, Funny)
First time working at Kmart has qualified anyone for anything....
The tinfoil brigade (Score:2, Funny)
[sorry, I couldn't help myself... ]
Re:Idiot. (Score:1, Funny)
the effect to manifest.
Not a real surprise (Score:5, Funny)
I made that mistake once, about 20 years ago. My mother gave me a Wendy's Kid's Meal, I didn't eat it right away. Later, I wanted to warm it up so I put into the microwave. I didn't open the box, and I forgot that they wrapped the burgers in a foil type wrapper. It was like fireworks. Bright flashed of blue-white light were coming out of the Kid's Meal box.
I nearly soiled myself out of fear. In those days they led you to believe that if you put metal in a microwave it would be like the Ghostbusters crossing the streams of their proton packs.
LK
Burning towels in the microwave (Score:5, Funny)
Moral of the story: don't put a wad of cash into the microwave.
Re:They've gotten to my eggs too (Score:5, Funny)
Re:No. They don't. (Score:5, Funny)
You expect us to take you seriously when you don't even know the basic recipe for heating a $20?
Quack.
This story reminds me of a song... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Idiot. (Score:4, Funny)
Re:I'm skeptical. (Score:5, Funny)
Not the evil eye... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:illegal? (Score:4, Funny)
More conspiracy images on currency (Score:5, Funny)
What's the matter? That's a hell of a lot better than the Slashdot story that actually got accepted!
Re:illegal? (Score:2, Funny)
First, it's not against the law unless he's trying to defraud someone using the mutilated currency, and second, even if it were, it's completely accidental that the money was destroyed... they just wanted to burn the RFID tag.
What they might need to watch out for, though, is a DMCA suit, as they were attempting to destroy a copy protection device. =)
conspiracy theorist loonies (Score:3, Funny)
what i'm getting at is, your average pop psychology understanding of paranoid schizophrenia suggests that people are "out to get you", so, controlling your thoughts, tracking your movements, etc. through invisible waves is a wonderful example of this kind of thinking
but what about viruses? why not nanobots?
what i'm getting at is these loonies seem inordinately obsessed over invisible rf waves, but there are a million other "invisible hand" type illuminati control mechanisms they can obsess over
perhaps rf is just easier to understand, reflecting the general low intelligence of paranoid schozophrenics in general i guess
"Boarder officers"? (Score:3, Funny)
"Dude! You did not pull a proper 720 corkscrew! I order you to smoke a phatty!"
(I think you mean border [dictionary.com] , not boarder [dictionary.com].)
Re:I'm skeptical. (Score:5, Funny)
I'd be happy to help check this out. I think the easiest way would be for everyone to send me whatever bills they happen to have. I'll carefully check them out, inspecting them for any metal strips. To ensure that whatever bills I receive are in fact legal tender, I will then proceed to the nearest Best Buy or Fry's to see whether these fine institutions accept them as such.
I know, it sounds like it will be a lot of work, but its the least I can do to furhter the knowledge of teh Slashdot crowd.
Re:illegal? (Score:5, Funny)
Maybe because he put it in an oven..?
Re:Canadian money (Score:3, Funny)
No, but you'll need 1.34 Canadian $20's to get the explosive power of a single American $20.
Simply put, you just don't get as much bang for your buck.
Article translated into "Bubbaspeak" (Score:4, Funny)
Me and Bubba was hanging out in this truck stop. We had just escaped a pack of UFO's on highway 66 in our Kenworth while hauling grapes from Florida to Nevada! I saw em! They had lights on them and these strange whirling blade above them!
At this point we had been on crystal-meth for about 46 hours, so obviously our minds were a-clear. So there we were in the truck stop counting all the money we done made transporting meth across state lines for this "mex" called Jose. We had a huge wad of cash! As we left, this young pencil-neck (probably an alien in disguise) started hasseling us about how we hadn't paid for some chewing gum in out pockets or something. That's when I started a wondering how they KNEW?! Must be one of dem R.I.D.E. tags I hear the guberment is using to control our minds! They know our thoughts!
So, Bubba and I bought us some shiney tin foil and wrapped it on our heads. Thank the lord Jesus for the Crystal Meth! We couldn't have come up with this idear ta stop em without it! Well, we started to leave again, and the lil alien started bugging us again about the gum. THEY STILL KNEW! I figured right about then that it must be OUR MONEY! Sure, Bill Gates controls the money, and Jose must have put tracking devices in it fer him!
So we gots real smart and put our money in the microwave! Now it's OK to spend. Sure, it's brown and burnt, but we can still spend it at the titty bar! Thank god for Crystal Meth! Next time, Bubba and I will make sure we bring extra, just in case the guberment tries to bug our coffee.
Re:Haha (Score:5, Funny)
Thank goodness you posted that. I've been storing gasoline in my microwave for years thinking it was safe.
F.Y.I. The worst you could do to a microwave by putting metal inside is break the magnatron, and when it breaks, it will just die, not explode or any cool shit like that. This urban legend was debunked like last season. [discovery.com] I can't even find the listing for it anymore.
Re:illegal? (Score:5, Funny)
But is it art? (Score:5, Funny)
What if I draw moustaches on the presidents and sell the doctored notes as artistic portraits of Saddam Hussein?
Re:illegal? (Score:5, Funny)
Not a problem. Just make a photocopy first.
fruit from California (Score:3, Funny)
You fool!! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I'm skeptical. (Score:5, Funny)
Like hell. That's a stolen kid! Put his parents under arrest!
Re:Haha (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I can remove the RFID Tags for Free (Score:2, Funny)
slashdot effect (Score:4, Funny)
oh Yeah?? well.. on canadian money... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:illegal? (Score:5, Funny)
and in Soviet Russia
We got already
Re:'Quotes' (Score:5, Funny)
In Capitalist America, YOU burn a hole in money!
Re:But is it art? (Score:5, Funny)
That's legal as long as don't put Andy Warhol's signature in the bottom right corner.
Re:They've gotten to my eggs too (Score:5, Funny)
Super convienient hard boiled eggs!
Unfortunatly on my first attempt I discovered what a mess it made and abandoned the project... (who whoulda thunk it!?)
It was acctually on the last second of the pre-set time I had given it which made it quite dis-hartening to hear a -BANG- and then immediately a BEEEEP of the microwave having finished.
Re:illegal? (Score:4, Funny)
The metals cost less than the penny. The reason pennies are still made is that the mint makes a profit on each one made. Once they stop making money, they'll stop making pennies.
This is exactly why (Score:5, Funny)
Slashdot would be screwed. (Score:2, Funny)
Re:illegal? (Score:5, Funny)
Wow!
1) Take 4 * 1$
2) Break it into: 4 * ( 3 * 1/3$ )
3) Group it into: ( 2 * 3 ) * 2/3$
4) Now you have 6 * 2/3$
5) Give it to bank
6) Get 6$ from bank
Profit = 6$ - 4$ = 2$
And now repeat.
Re:No money lost (Score:3, Funny)
Actually, I believe the Secret Service would gift-wrap your ass and deliver it to your new husband Bubba for his exclusive use during your ten year stay in a Federal penitentiary of their choice...
Re:They've gotten to my eggs too (Score:2, Funny)
Re:illegal? (Score:1, Funny)
http://www.cryptogon.com/2003_07_20_blogarchive
Re:I'm skeptical. (Score:2, Funny)
Re:'Quotes' (Score:5, Funny)
Re:illegal? (Score:2, Funny)
Super Happy Microwave Fun. (Score:5, Funny)
Tell me about it. I broke my Magnatron, and totally fried Optimus Prime too. That's the last time I play Decepticon Rays From Space with my Transformers.
Re:I'm skeptical. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:That's solid logic... (Score:5, Funny)
Good evening. The last scene was interesting from the point of view of a professional logician because it contained a number of logical fallacies; that is, invalid propositional constructions and syllogistic forms, of the type so often committed by my wife.
'All wood burns,' states Sir Bedevere. 'Therefore,' he concludes, 'all that burns is wood.' This is, of course, pure bullshit. Universal affirmatives can only be partially converted: all of Alma Cogan is dead, but only some of the class of dead people are Alma Cogan. Obvious, one would think. However, my wife does not understand this necessary limitation of the conversion of a proposition; consequently, she does not understand me; for how can a woman expect to appreciate a professor of logic, if the simplest cloth-eared syllogism causes her to flounder?
For example, given the premise, 'all fish live underwater' and 'all mackerel are fish', my wife will conclude, not that 'all mackerel live underwater', but that 'if she buys kippers it will not rain', or that 'trout live in trees', or even that 'I do not love her any more.' This she calls 'using her intuition'. I call it 'crap', and it gets me very irritated, because it is not logical. 'There will be no supper tonight,' she will sometimes cry upon my return home. 'Why not?' I will ask. 'Because I have been screwing the milkman all day,' she will say, quite oblivious of the howling error she has made. 'But,' I will wearily point out, 'even given that the activities of screwing the milkman and getting supper are mutually exclusive, now that the screwing is over, surely then, supper may now, logically, be got.' 'You don't love me any more,' she will now often postulate. 'If you did, you would give me one now and again, so that I would not have to rely on that rancid Pakistani for my orgasms.' 'I will give you one after you have got me my supper,' I now usually scream, 'but not before'-- as you understand, making her bang contingent on the arrival of my supper. 'God, you turn me on when you're angry, you ancient brute!' she now mysteriously deduces, forcing her sweetly throbbing tongue down my throat. 'Fuck supper!' I now invariably conclude, throwing logic somewhat joyously to the four winds, and so we thrash about on our milk-stained floor, transported by animal passion, until we sink back, exhausted, onto the cartons of yogurt.
I'm afraid I seem to have strayed somewhat from my original brief. But in a nutshell: sex is more fun than logic-- one cannot prove this, but it 'is' in the same sense that Mount Everest 'is', or that Alma Cogan 'isn't'.
Goodnight.
</Cleese>
Re:RSA RFID Blocker Tag (Score:5, Funny)
Oh gee, I can see that being *really* helpful when the Homeland Defense automated luggage checking system asks your luggage "Are you a suitcase nuke?" and it answers "Why, yes I am!"
Re:This is exactly why (Score:3, Funny)
Re:illegal? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:'Quotes' (Score:5, Funny)
Mod grandparent down on general priciples.
Mod parent up, because we do really care that he doesn't think anyone gives a crap what the grandparent poster thinks.
Don't give me mod points. Instead, give me those twenty dollar bills you suspect of having chips implanted. I'll test them for you. To preserve anonymity, you may send them to me via Pay Pal.
And whatever child or grandchild posts appear here (if any) mod them up, again, on general principles.
Re:Idiot. (Score:3, Funny)
That is according to the minimum wage employees working at the truck stop!
It looks like not being a minimum wage employee didn't stop him from toasting the entire wad of cash.
Andrew Jackson's rolling in his grave... (Score:3, Funny)
My...
Eye...
!!!
Australian Money (Score:4, Funny)
Hey, Slashdot higher-ups... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:They've gotten to my eggs too (Score:3, Funny)
Replacing the Bills (Score:3, Funny)
Just imagine the scene at the bank when the intrepid couple goes to replace their cash:
"Umm, I want to replace my 20's because I was dumb enough to burn them in the microwave."
Actually, I'm not sure if banks will take seriously damaged cash. I know that there is a Dept of Treasury office [moneyfactory.com] that will replace damaged bills (as long as there is 51% of the bill left), but would a bank take a stack of them since they'd have to turn around and do the replacement? I imagine that the conspiracy couple would just love having to send their money into the government.
Re:Guv'mint conspiracy? (Score:2, Funny)
It's really the aliens. You heard me.
*dons tin foil hat and wallet*
Go on. Keep living in your dream world of 'metal strips' and 'governments.'
Re:illegal? (Score:5, Funny)
(b) The government, for not printing do not microwave in the currency; or
(c) The bank who gave them currency without a proper usage manual.
Re:'Quotes' (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Haha (Score:0, Funny)
Re:Australian Money (Score:5, Funny)
Re:'Quotes' (Score:5, Funny)
but it's true about the owl god.
[wink]
Re:illegal? (Score:2, Funny)
I don't think you meant it to be funny, but seriously, this has got me in stitches.
Re:Super Happy Microwave Fun. (Score:2, Funny)
Re:illegal? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:They've gotten to my eggs too (Score:5, Funny)
And I was, like, "uuuunh?"
It DEVOURED my tinfoil hat.
It was a really good tinfoil hat.
And then I had to nuke it again, and it wasn't as good because I had to do it fast before the Illuminati came.
It was...
My name is Ellen Feiss, and they're all out to get me.
Only in America (Score:2, Funny)
Re:I can remove the RFID Tags for Free (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Better control experiment... (Score:5, Funny)
Our next stop was at the local Target supermarket so we entered and had a look around bought some CD's and went to leave. Not so fast unfortunatly a hidden anti-theft tag was atached to the phallus of my girlfriends new best friend. This lead to an interesting conundrum, we had the option of:
a. Showing a 14 year old girl (who was clearly working her first day) and a few interested onlookers what was in the bag.
b. Waiting for the Cops to rock up and then showing them what was in the bag.
c. Attempt to tell her what was in the bag whilst keeping as diplomatic as possible.
It should also be pointed out that it was infact me holding the bag and this was not something I would like to be seen with.
Ultimitly we were able to communicate the contents of the bag and one quick peek and a sheepish smile later we were on our way. I learnt a valuable lesson that day my friends. Don't forget your towel (of al foil).
Re:illegal? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:They've gotten to my eggs too (Score:3, Funny)
-chris
Re:They've gotten to my eggs too (Score:3, Funny)
Re:'Quotes' (Score:5, Funny)
We then wrapped our cash in foil and went thru the same monitors. No monitor went off.
make me want to travel to the location of the web server and smash it with a hammer.
Freudian slip of the year? (Score:5, Funny)
You are not TERRORably concerned with the government? Hm...
Money left over (Score:2, Funny)
Re:what?! (Score:3, Funny)
Because he needs a reserve of 'cash' on him in case the UN breaks into his trailer and steals his 'mattress'.
I'm wondering what kind of 'wallet' a stack of nearly 50 'bills' fits into, and how he could 'sit' comfortably with it in his pocket.
Most unhelpful helpful post ever. (Score:5, Funny)
It's truly an inspired effort to be very clear and yet say nothing at all to your largely English speaking audience. Kudos.
Re:The actual law on mutilation (Score:4, Funny)
No I'm not!
New think geek item (Score:2, Funny)
Re:They've gotten to my eggs too (Score:3, Funny)
Re:illegal? (Score:3, Funny)
Well, that explains every decision my boss ever made. Not one included defacing currency...
Re:'Quotes' (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Haha (Score:3, Funny)
Beowulf cluster (Score:5, Funny)
Well, I guess he wanted to try out a Beowulf cluster of them. . .
Re:Most unhelpful helpful post ever. (Score:3, Funny)
makes mugging more efficient! (Score:3, Funny)
Bet you didn't even think of this !
Saved by a second (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Better control experiment... (Score:5, Funny)
Shouldn't the valuable lesson be "leave the dildo in the car when you go into Target?"
Re:Hey, Slashdot higher-ups... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:illegal? (Score:4, Funny)
Foil Strip? (Score:3, Funny)
Warning (Score:3, Funny)
The bills, the bills, the bills are on fire! (Score:3, Funny)
burn Andrew Jackson, burn.
Re:Better control experiment... (Score:5, Funny)
Heh. Yep! Leave it to a geek to learn the impractical lesson. "Never leave the house without your cross-spectrum radio-frequency jammer, tin foil, and collapsable antennae, because otherwise you won't be able to take dildos with you into Target."
Which, granted, is advice I could have used on several occasions. Where was he then?!
Re:'Quotes' (Score:5, Funny)
Careful, those two cents may contain RFIDs and could therefore explode if tossed onto a fire.
Just lookin' out for y'all.
Re:'Quotes' (Score:5, Funny)
I'm not sure but I think that's called the Emergency Alert System
Not so fast! I've heard of this before, and it does turn thousands of individual broadcast stations into government propaganda outlets. But I think he got the wrong acronym for Fox News.
Paper money? Who cares, they have your plastic. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:'Quotes' (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Haha . it's conditional. (Score:3, Funny)
Your so wrong (Score:3, Funny)
Poor misguided fellow (Score:3, Funny)
Wait a minute. This guy is trying to determine whether cash has RADIO FREQUENCY ID's embedded in it... by exposing them to MICROWAVE FREQUENCY radiation?
Something tells me he slept through his Physics for Crackpots lectures.
Microwave (Score:3, Funny)
Embedded Chips In Grapes (Score:2, Funny)
2. Set microwave to 30.
3. Profit!!!!!
Grapes have embedded chips!
Re:Saved by a second (Score:4, Funny)
Show of hands: How many of you are going to run off and try this now?
It goes deeper (Score:1, Funny)
Correct Answer (Score:3, Funny)
What the article needs (Score:1, Funny)
Re:They've gotten to my eggs too (Score:3, Funny)
the Eyes are Moving! (Score:2, Funny)
Of course they're in his eyes. The government is using them to track or 'watch' us! ;)
Re:They've gotten to my eggs too (Score:2, Funny)
It is not a RFID... (Score:2, Funny)