Sake Used to Make Wooden Speakers

Sake Used to Make Wooden Speakers 271

Posted by CmdrTaco on Monday April 05, 2004 @11:09PM from the now-thats-just-bizarre dept.

geeber writes "And you thought Sake was only good with Sushi? Well, think again! IEEE Spectrum has an article on how JVC has used sake to enable making speaker cones out of wood. Wood has a wide frequency response which makes it desirable as a material for speaker cones. However Toshikatsu Kuwahata worked for 20 years trying to make the cones out of wood without cracking. Finally he discovered that soaking the wood in sake (but not whiskey) made the wood pliable enough to form into a speaker cone. So let's raise our glasses and toast those clever engineers as we crank up the volume!"

Sake Used to Make Wooden Speakers

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Lucky bastards. (Score:5, Funny)

by aardvarko ( 185108 ) writes: <webmaster AT aardvarko DOT com> on Monday April 05, 2004 @11:10PM (#8776252) Homepage

Hell, sake enables me to make all kinds of things, most of them accessory fluids for my American Standard, but I sure as hell don't get any stinkin' Slashdot articles about them, now, do I. Harrumph.

Obvious! (Score:5, Funny)

by EmbeddedJanitor ( 597831 ) writes: on Monday April 05, 2004 @11:10PM (#8776253)

Drink enough sake and you will not see any cracks.

Can't resist it (Score:5, Funny)

by Magickcat ( 768797 ) writes: on Monday April 05, 2004 @11:13PM (#8776280)

So I guess the sound really does give you wood.

In other news... (Score:5, Funny)

by kilocomp ( 234607 ) writes: on Monday April 05, 2004 @11:13PM (#8776285)

In other news researchers are using wasabi to implement "Super Bass".

"without cracking" (Score:5, Funny)

by Capt'n Hector ( 650760 ) writes: on Monday April 05, 2004 @11:16PM (#8776302)

However Toshikatsu Kuwahata worked for 20 years trying to make the cones out of wood without cracking.
Wow, 20 years is a long time to work on a problem without cracking. Congratulations, Toshikatsu.

But how was it discovered? (Score:4, Funny)

by product byproduct ( 628318 ) writes: on Monday April 05, 2004 @11:18PM (#8776316)

20 years of effort and it's still not working. Time to get drunk. [after a few bottles] heeey woooody, you wanty some sake tooooo?

Sake! (Score:2, Funny)

by dolo666 ( 195584 ) writes: on Monday April 05, 2004 @11:19PM (#8776327) Journal

Drink enough sake and you become excellent karate fighter too! :-)

Comment removed (Score:2, Funny)

by account_deleted ( 4530225 ) writes: on Monday April 05, 2004 @11:21PM (#8776337)

Comment removed based on user account deletion

fluent japanese speaker (Score:4, Funny)

by riqnevala ( 624343 ) writes: on Monday April 05, 2004 @11:21PM (#8776339) Journal

After licking too many speakers, they'll start singing karaoke..?

Re:Audiophile applications (Score:5, Funny)

by CaptBubba ( 696284 ) writes: on Monday April 05, 2004 @11:22PM (#8776347)

It leads to another whole set of different things to tweak. Wood grain spacing, denisity, type sepcies, and even where the tree was grown could all alter the sonic properties.
Of course, true to hi-fi traditions, the best wood will bee the rarest tree on the planet soaked in the oldest and most expensive saki, thereby keeping high end speaker prices in the upper statosphere.

Hmm... (Score:3, Funny)

by odano ( 735445 ) writes: on Monday April 05, 2004 @11:23PM (#8776353)

I hear their next move is to replace titanium tweeters with spicy rolls.

In related (but pretty old) news.... (Score:2, Funny)

by wetson ( 27135 ) writes: on Monday April 05, 2004 @11:25PM (#8776363) Homepage

...it's been confirmed that alcohol can loosen up the most wooden [teenwork.com] of individuals.

Re:Can't resist it (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Monday April 05, 2004 @11:28PM (#8776378)

no, but the sight of a crack does :-).

Re:All you ever wanted to know... (Score:5, Funny)

by Deraj DeZine ( 726641 ) writes: on Monday April 05, 2004 @11:28PM (#8776382)

Aged for 3 years or more

Good. I can't stand underaged drinking.

And now for you religious music fans... (Score:5, Funny)

by NewtonsLaw ( 409638 ) writes: on Monday April 05, 2004 @11:29PM (#8776386)

Yes, if religious music is what spins your wheels, now you can have wooden speakers made with... what else but Christ's Sake :-)

Re:Audiophile applications (Score:3, Funny)

by nomadic ( 141991 ) writes: <nomadicworld@@@gmail...com> on Monday April 05, 2004 @11:32PM (#8776397) Homepage

Considering people claim to be able to tell the difference between a Stratovarius (spelling?) and an inferior wooden violin

I'm picturing a cross between a stratocaster [fender.com] and a Stradivarius [si.edu]...

After 20 years of saki on his expense reports... (Score:4, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Monday April 05, 2004 @11:33PM (#8776404)

He had to show some kind of results.

the reverse is true (Score:2, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Monday April 05, 2004 @11:38PM (#8776425)

Sake is also used to make wooden speakers
more lifelike when they talk in front of audiences.

Down a few cups of piss warm sour water and the most most wooden speaker is gonna be much more relaxed.

Re:Why not ammonia? (Score:5, Funny)

by Cranky_92109 ( 414726 ) writes: on Monday April 05, 2004 @11:45PM (#8776466)

...you get to drink the sake while you play with your wood.

I tried for a long time to think of a joke funnier than this quote.
I couldn't, so lets see it one more time.

...you get to drink the sake while you play with your wood.

But wait! (Score:5, Funny)

by Captain Irreverence ( 761516 ) writes: on Monday April 05, 2004 @11:52PM (#8776504)

If they're made of wood, then scientifically speaking they must weigh the same as a duck. And therefore:

They're a witch! Burn them, burn them!

Re:Can't resist it (Score:5, Funny)

by cgranade ( 702534 ) writes: <cgranade@gma i l . c om> on Monday April 05, 2004 @11:57PM (#8776524) Homepage Journal

Not really... the wood gives you sound... and not just in Soviet Russia, either.

Re:All you ever wanted to know... (Score:4, Funny)

by ChrisMaple ( 607946 ) writes: on Monday April 05, 2004 @11:58PM (#8776531)

Oh, for Guinness sake.

How is this NEWS? (Score:2, Funny)

by DKConstant ( 307421 ) writes: on Monday April 05, 2004 @11:59PM (#8776535)

I've known for YEARS that alcohol makes music sound better! Where's MY article?

Re:Audiophile applications (Score:5, Funny)

by Reverberant ( 303566 ) writes: on Tuesday April 06, 2004 @12:01AM (#8776539) Homepage

I wonder when we'll see wood-cone based speakers filter into the world of hi-fi, if ever.
They've been around for some time. They're called "paper cones"
:)

Hmmm... Wooden speakers... (Score:5, Funny)

by shigelojoe ( 590080 ) writes: on Tuesday April 06, 2004 @12:02AM (#8776550)

I can't wait to get some of these just to have a friend come over, look at them, and say "Cool! Amish speakers!"

What I'm waiting for... (Score:4, Funny)

by Perdition ( 208487 ) writes: on Tuesday April 06, 2004 @12:04AM (#8776563)

I'm waiting for car audio applications so that the following conversation may be possible:

"Sir, do you know how fast you were going?"

"Well, I'm sure I wasn't speeding, officer."

"Sniff, sniff... Would you kindly step out of the vehicle, sir?"

"Oh, the smell! You see, my speakers are soaked with sake. You know, for the wood. Wooden speakers soaked in sake! I don't drink and drive. Seriously."

"Tell you what, sir, just step back here to my car..."

I'm soaking it in saki right now... (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Tuesday April 06, 2004 @12:11AM (#8776594)

...but my wood is not getting any softer.

Re:Hmmm... Wooden speakers... (Score:3, Funny)

by Perdition ( 208487 ) writes: on Tuesday April 06, 2004 @12:12AM (#8776601)

Man, the Amish that read SlashDot are gonna land on you like a badly-lashed barnwall after that cheap shot. Kiss yo' Karma Gute Nacht, John Book.

Re:I AM SO GLAD YOU GUYS ARE IN THIS THREAD (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Tuesday April 06, 2004 @12:25AM (#8776679)

fucking sheep?
Since when did you Americans become experts at this? Leave it to us Australian and Kiwi professionals.

Re:Rice, eh? (Score:3, Funny)

by rock_climbing_guy ( 630276 ) writes: on Tuesday April 06, 2004 @12:36AM (#8776758) Journal

I follwed that link from your post, but it says that I'm not allowed to visit their web site since I'm not old enough. Can someone here get me a fake ID so I can get in???

Re:These speakers are for one thing... (Score:3, Funny)

by prockcore ( 543967 ) writes: on Tuesday April 06, 2004 @12:58AM (#8776897)

I will use those speakers specifically for watching anime.

Nah, put them in your rice burner.

Re:Actually, resonance is bad in speakers (Score:3, Funny)

by prockcore ( 543967 ) writes: on Tuesday April 06, 2004 @01:01AM (#8776911)

in a speaker cone the only two factors that make a good one are lightness and stiffness.

Funny, I wouldn't think that any alcohol would be associated with stiffness...

Re:In other news... (Score:1, Funny)

by reub2000 ( 705806 ) * writes: on Tuesday April 06, 2004 @01:19AM (#8776999)

How did this get modded 5, funny? This should be -1 overrated or -1 unfunny joke.

Re:Obvious! (Score:5, Funny)

by r_j_prahad ( 309298 ) writes: <r_j_prahad@@@hotmail...com> on Tuesday April 06, 2004 @01:27AM (#8777035)

And the cracks you do see will look a lot more alluring and seductive.

Re:Why not ammonia? (Score:2, Funny)

by Brandybuck ( 704397 ) writes: on Tuesday April 06, 2004 @01:35AM (#8777074) Homepage Journal

No wonder you're not getting any. You're supposed to wine and dine her BEFORE the wood gets played with...

Re:Can't resist it (Score:3, Funny)

by AaronD12 ( 709859 ) writes: on Tuesday April 06, 2004 @01:40AM (#8777097)

I don't know about you, but sake makes my wood more pliable as well... :P

Re:"without cracking" (Score:5, Funny)

by iNetRunner ( 613289 ) writes: on Tuesday April 06, 2004 @01:45AM (#8777117)

Wow, 20 years is a long time to work on a problem without cracking. Congratulations, Toshikatsu.
Well.. He did turn to booze.

I don't think Sake is only good with sushi (Score:1, Funny)

by psetzer ( 714543 ) writes: on Tuesday April 06, 2004 @02:03AM (#8777173)

It makes perfectly good drain cleaner.

20 years without cracking a wood (Score:2, Funny)

by nfabl ( 748199 ) writes: on Tuesday April 06, 2004 @05:10AM (#8777786)

Maybe he should cut back on the sake a bit i say.

Re:What I love about slashdot (Was: Re:Audiophile (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Tuesday April 06, 2004 @07:13AM (#8778129)

You're just white ghetto niggers and your bling bling has seriously gone too far. Don't come whining if your society is going the way of the dodo if you'd rather blow that much money on two damn loudspeakers and their respective cabling. There is a fine line between luxury and decadence. And you've crossed it at least 300 miles ago.

*One* home stereo can never attain the enjoyment of 200 holidays, 1000 prostitutes, 500 cars or in fact 5000 live concert tickets. For 100'000$, you could invite all your favorite musicians for your birthday party and may even have the fortune to sleep with the younger female ones of them.

If you got 100'000$ and the best you can imagine to spend it on is a home stereo for listening to music recorded in the last 20 years (the older ones have too bad quality media anyway), you should visit a) the local supermarket, b) the local etablissements, c) the local luxury car dealer (Ferrari may still be too expensive) or d) the local shrink. You need it. Seriously.

At Least, That's What HeTold The Auditors... (Score:2, Funny)

by nightwing2000 ( 539158 ) writes: on Tuesday April 06, 2004 @10:03AM (#8779217)

Hmmm... Let's see.
The auditors have some questions about his business expenses.
"There's been some very unusual expenses for this lab, would you care to explain..."
"Well, we've been buying the sake for... ummm... making speaker cones. yes,that's it! We've spent 20 years with our research budget on making speaker cones. Research gets really intense around spring break, and also about the time of our Christmas party, as you can see from our expenses profile..."

There may be more comments in this discussion. Without JavaScript enabled, you might want to turn on Classic Discussion System in your preferences instead.

Lucky bastards. (Score:5, Funny)

Obvious! (Score:5, Funny)

Can't resist it (Score:5, Funny)

In other news... (Score:5, Funny)

"without cracking" (Score:5, Funny)

But how was it discovered? (Score:4, Funny)

Sake! (Score:2, Funny)

Comment removed (Score:2, Funny)

fluent japanese speaker (Score:4, Funny)

Re:Audiophile applications (Score:5, Funny)

Hmm... (Score:3, Funny)

In related (but pretty old) news.... (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Can't resist it (Score:1, Funny)

Re:All you ever wanted to know... (Score:5, Funny)

And now for you religious music fans... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Audiophile applications (Score:3, Funny)

After 20 years of saki on his expense reports... (Score:4, Funny)

the reverse is true (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Why not ammonia? (Score:5, Funny)

But wait! (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Can't resist it (Score:5, Funny)

Re:All you ever wanted to know... (Score:4, Funny)

How is this NEWS? (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Audiophile applications (Score:5, Funny)

Hmmm... Wooden speakers... (Score:5, Funny)

What I'm waiting for... (Score:4, Funny)

I'm soaking it in saki right now... (Score:1, Funny)

Re:Hmmm... Wooden speakers... (Score:3, Funny)

Re:I AM SO GLAD YOU GUYS ARE IN THIS THREAD (Score:1, Funny)

Re:Rice, eh? (Score:3, Funny)

Re:These speakers are for one thing... (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Actually, resonance is bad in speakers (Score:3, Funny)

Re:In other news... (Score:1, Funny)

Re:Obvious! (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Why not ammonia? (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Can't resist it (Score:3, Funny)

Re:"without cracking" (Score:5, Funny)

I don't think Sake is only good with sushi (Score:1, Funny)

20 years without cracking a wood (Score:2, Funny)

Re:What I love about slashdot (Was: Re:Audiophile (Score:1, Funny)

At Least, That's What HeTold The Auditors... (Score:2, Funny)

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