National TV Turn Off Week 873
beforewisdom writes "Next week (April 19th - 25th 2004) is National TV Turn Off Week in the USA. Among the many benefits claimed by tvturnoff.org is that 90% of the people who participate in a TV Turnoff Week successfully reduce the amount of television they watch permanently."
Yes, but... (Score:5, Funny)
How about (Score:2, Funny)
Does it count... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Yes, but... (Score:1, Funny)
Question (Score:5, Funny)
Thats all good (Score:2, Funny)
Someone has to say it... (Score:5, Funny)
And 100% successfully reduce the amount of tv they watch that week.
:)
Time-shift it! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Slashdotting....or slashdot.not? (Score:2, Funny)
TV vs Reading (Score:3, Funny)
In other words, stop watching Discovery Channel, read a Hustler instead.
Even if everybody here did give up TV... (Score:5, Funny)
I don't need to participate... (Score:5, Funny)
I can turn off the TV whenenver I want.
Maybe later...
Family (Score:3, Funny)
Homer says... (Score:4, Funny)
More TV for me!!!
TowerDave
Re:Food For Thought (Score:1, Funny)
Noo! (Score:1, Funny)
Re:I have been loving not watching as much TV... (Score:2, Funny)
Ditch TV & become an alcoholic? There's a campaign slogan.
You insensitive clod... (Score:2, Funny)
Stupid (Score:5, Funny)
It's not just entertainment that you'll be missing out on if you participate in thie 'Blackout'. Lots of news, current events, sports, and informational programs will be lost due to this turnoff. Do these organizers realize that? Yes, you can read newspapers to get by, but having moving pictures in your home is one of the greatest inventions of all time. Why would you want to abstain from it for some enlightend purpose?
These people just need to get a life. It's just like that don't-buy-anything blackout. Some people don't like the choices others make, and try to bust your chops to be like them.
Insensitive! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:I have been loving not watching as much TV... (Score:5, Funny)
Yeah, give up T.V. and take up drinking :-)
Re:I have been loving not watching as much TV... (Score:2, Funny)
Calvin & Hobbes (Score:4, Funny)
Calvin: : It says here, "Religion is the opiate of the masses."...What do you suppose that means?
TV:
Oldmanmurray said it best (Score:5, Funny)
"People who don't watch TV love to mention it and never fail to pair that statement with the fact that they read books too. But as long as they're patting themselves on the back for simply not doing something, it seems to me that there are lots of worse things you could be taking credit for not doing. For instance, next time someone decides to lord over you the fact that he doesn't watch TV, go ahead and tell him "Good for you!" Then while everyone around you is reflecting on his massive intellect, up the awful-things-you-don't-do ante by mentioning that you don't rape people and then add that you watch lots of television instead. Not only does that make you a better person - after all what kind of psychotic jerkoff wastes his time not watching TV when he could be busy not commiting violent sex crimes? - but it gives you sort of an air of barely suppressed operatic rage, which makes you more like Batman."
linkified [216.239.39.104].
Much needed (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Food For Thought (Score:3, Funny)
Absolutely.
With the law of Conservation of Marriage, there are only a fixed number of marriage licenses available. That's why divorce rates have soared as the population has increased--there just aren't enough stable marriages to go around. Now with homosexual marriages starting in a month in Massachusetts, there will be roving bands of homosexuals roaming the streets forcing people to divorce at gunpoint.
Please Governor Romney, defend my marriage!
Why? (Score:4, Funny)
On second thought, keep on watching. Watch to your heart's content. The bike paths are already crowded enough, and I shudder to imagine what some of your kind would talk about around the water cooler if it weren't for "Survivor".
What nobody seems to realize is that the world needs mindless drones--lots and lots of mindless drones. I don't want a deluge of sensible, enlightened, productive non-TV watchers. For one, it'll wreak havoc with my sense of superiority. What's more, it'll mean that I'll face stiffer competition both in the workplace and in my pastimes as more and more people wake up and become thoughtful, productive individuals. What, you think I want more competition for that promotion?
If you stop watching TV, you won't be able to roll your eyes at me and my freakish, elitist, hippie lifestyle. Similarly, I'll be unable to fire off snide insults about your sedentary, mindless lifestyle. Why ruin the fun for both of us?
I encourage you to watch as much TV as you want, and to share that time in front of the tube with your children, as well. You'll be happier, I'll be happier, and everything will work out wonderfully.
Hugs 'n' kisses, AAiP
(hint: tongu_ in ch__k. Buy a vowel...)
The Kwisach Haderach (Score:5, Funny)
Tonight on the Arrakis Broadcasting Company (ABC): "The Kwisach Haderach". 220,000 originally applied, but tonight only one will by chosen by Trump-Gesserit as the Kwisach Haderach. Tune in and spice up your life!
Over on Tech TV, yet another panel discussion about how Tech TV will survive once the Butlerian Jihad reaches its completion. Quote from Leo LaPorte: "A Vic-20 does not count as a thinking machine, does it?"
Over on the other network, there is Fear Factor. Yet another worm-swallowing episode. I doubt the typical outcome with the worm swallowing all the contestants in one gulp will ever be altered.
Also, on CBS (Caladan Broadcasting System), there is "Survivor". Find out who survives when the royal family is dumped on a harsh desert planet.
On CNN, an interview concerning the ongoing search for Shaddam IV's weapons of mass destruction.
Re:Stupid (Score:4, Funny)
Someone please mod this funny.
Re:Nice, but I feel like it's hopeless... (Score:2, Funny)
News from the future (Score:2, Funny)
Re:I have been loving not watching as much TV... (Score:5, Funny)
Your girlfriend charges you a monthly fee? Where I come from, there's a word for that...
Re:Nice, but I feel like it's hopeless... (Score:2, Funny)
That's why we never disconnect anyone over 30. Their minds simply can't handle it. -The Matrix
Here's what you'll miss during that week.. (Score:5, Funny)
* Soaps: Wife secretly sleeps with husband's brother who's being blackmailed by their chauffer who is actually a
* Talk Shows: All this week: Crack Whore Makeovers on Jenny Jones, plus a special appearance by... AMAZING NEW WEIGHT LOSS PILL!
* Survivor: This week contestants swim through shark-infested waters with dead fish in their mouths; winner receives one sock and... TRY NEW CREST CHEESECAKE-FLAVORED TOOTHPASTE!
* Saturday Night Live: Woman with nice boobs hosts; cast members create skits so they can cop a feel; musical guest... THE NEW NISSAN XTERRA HAS A V8 AND FIVE (YES FIVE) CUPHOLDERS!
* News: War going bad; war going good; one guy says other guy will tax everyone into poor house; some dude in Peoria is suing Wal-Mart for $5B for... ISN'T IT TIME YOU TRIED VIAGRA?
* American Chopper: Paul Sr. continues to abuse Paul Jr.; Mikey explodes after all-night twinkie binge; OCC scapes the bottom of the barrel looking for politically-correct bike themes with their new chopper commemmorating the lawyers who set up the 911 Red Cross fund. Special appearance by... HALLIBURTON.. SUPPORTING OUR TROOPS.
* Monster House: Team of dysfunctional contractors install a 12' bong and jacuzzi filled with Patchoulli in new "Hippie House"; owners are stunned when they peek in and discover... CHEVY, AMERICA'S TRUCK
* Talk Shows: Jay Leno's special guest: Billy Bob Thorton; tonite on Conan: Billy Bob Thorton; tonite on Late Night: Billy Bob Thorton. Check out Billy Bob's new movie about... HIENEKEN BEER - IT'S ALL ABOUT THE BEER
Oh no... (Score:5, Funny)
"I, personally, would rather spend my time doing something useful than watch television," Green told a random woman Monday at the Suds 'N' Duds Laundromat, noticing the establishment's wall-mounted TV. "I don't even own one."
According to Melinda Elkins, a coworker of Green's at The Frame Job, a Chapel Hill picture-frame shop, Green steers the conversation toward television whenever possible, just so he can mention not owning one.
"A few days ago, [store manager] Annette [Haig] was saying her new contacts were bothering her," Elkins said. "The second she said that, I knew Jonathan would pounce. He was like, 'I didn't know you had contacts, Annette. Are your eyes bad? That a shame. I'm really lucky to have almost perfect vision. I'm guessing it's because I don't watch TV. In fact, I don't even own one."
According to Elkins, "idiot box" is Green's favorite derogatory term for television.
"He uses that one a lot," she said. "But he's got other ones, too, like 'boob tube' and 'electronic babysitter.'"
Elkins said Green always makes sure to read the copies of Entertainment Weekly and People lying around the shop's break room, "just so he can point out all the stars and shows he's never heard of."
"Last week, in one of the magazines, there was a picture of Calista Flockhart," Elkins said, "and Jonathan announced, 'I have absolutely no idea who this woman is. Calista who? Am I supposed to have heard of her? I'm sorry, but I haven't.'"
Tony Gerela, who lives in the apartment directly below Green's and occasionally chats with the 37-year-old by the mailboxes, is well aware of his neighbor's disdain for television.
"About a week after I met him, we were talking, and I made some kind of Simpsons reference," Gerela said. "He asked me what I was talking about, and when I told him it was from a TV show, he just went off, saying how the last show he watched was some episode of Cheers, and even then, he could only watch for about two minutes before having to shut it off because it insulted his intelligence so terribly."
Added Gerela: "Once, I made the mistake of saying I saw something on the news, and he started in with, 'Saw the news? I don't know about you, but I read the news."
Green has lived without television since 1989, when his then-girlfriend moved out and took her set with her.
"When Claudia went, the TV went with her," Green said. "But instead of just going out and buying another one--which I certainly could have afforded, that wasn't the issue--I decided to stand up to the glass teat."
"I'm not an elitist," Green said. "It's just that I'd much rather sculpt or write in my journal or read Proust than sit there passively staring at some phosphorescent screen."
"If I need a fix of passive audio-visual stimulation, I'll go to catch a Bergman or Truffaut film down at the university," Green said. "I certainly wouldn't waste my time watching the so-called Learning Channel or, God forbid, any of the mind sewage the major networks pump out."
Continued Green: "People don't realize just how much time their TV-watching habit--or, shall I say, addiction--eats up. Four hours of television a day, over the course of a month, adds up to 120 hours. That's five entire days! Why not spend that time living your own life, instead of watching fictional people live theirs? I can't begin to tell you how happy I am not to own a television."
Source: http://www.theonion.com/onion3604/doesnt_own_tele
Re:Stupid (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Oldmanmurray said it best (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Nice, but I feel like it's hopeless... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:I have been loving not watching as much TV... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Why so desparate to have TV? (Score:3, Funny)
I watched Mythbusters last night. I got far more reward from that one hour than from a day or so of reading a Nicholas Sparks novel. Sturgeon's Law applies to books, too...
Re:Nice, but I feel like it's hopeless... (Score:3, Funny)
Holy shit
Re:Better yet... (Score:2, Funny)
Then how do you know what direction to point your furniture?
Re:Nice, but I feel like it's hopeless... (Score:5, Funny)
OMG!@~! It's TIGER WOODS AGIN!
Holy crap! That charbroiled quarter pounder looks DELICIOUS!
I'd say I felt like a kid again, but I was way more jaded when I was a kid.
Re:Why so desparate to have TV? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Why? (Score:1, Funny)
Can I buy an i?
Re:Nice, but I feel like it's hopeless... (Score:5, Funny)
A quote from my father:
This internet thing is killing the art of watching television.
(I don't have one either).
Re:Nice, but I feel like it's hopeless... (Score:0, Funny)
Re:Why so desparate to have TV? (Score:2, Funny)
So what exactly did people do before they had television?
Beats me. Maybe they all sat on the couch, staring at an empty wall, thinking "Gee, I sure wish we had something to watch. And something to watch it on."
Re:How about NO TV? Works for me in a weird way (Score:2, Funny)
So I dont have a TV in my house
So what do you point all of your furniture at?
Re:What about watching when you feel like it... (Score:2, Funny)
Years ago, my mother was visiting my wife and me. We don't generally watch much TV, but it was Babylon 5 night, so she watched it with us, companionably. She claimed to enjoy it.
Then later that week, Friends was on (I think in its first season, since I had never heard of it before), and she made us watch it, saying
"You should watch this show! These people are like you."
I still have no idea what she meant by that. But I guess those are the people who watch Friends...people who are *just like them*. (Or who think their kids are just like them.)
Of course, this is the same woman who said to me, "I watched that Brazil movie you were talking about, and I was wondering...are you depressed?"
A woman who doesn't watch television? (Score:3, Funny)
What does she do with her life?
Buggles (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Someone has to say it... (Score:3, Funny)
...
And 100% successfully reduce the amount of tv they watch that week.
Actually, 100% of the people who participate in a TV Turnoff Week will reduce the amount of television they watch permanently. This is just simple subtraction, here. Take whatever would be the amount of total television hours one would watch under normal viewing habits, then shut off your TV for any time during that period, and you lower the total amount.
Thinking about it now, that's a really stupid statistic. "100% of people who refrain from eating hamburgers will lower their overall hamburger intake." Well, duh.
Re:Nice, but I feel like it's hopeless... (Score:5, Funny)
You want to know what the funny thing is? About 10 words into your post my brain slipped out of alpha waves and into beta waves.
So what about... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:So what about... (Score:3, Funny)
TVTURNOFF Week = DMCA Violation (Score:3, Funny)
strange... not in the news.... (Score:3, Funny)
odd... didn't see that reported on the news tonight... I'll watch again at 10, maybe it'll be on the late news.