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Education Handhelds Hardware

Take Me Home, I'm Drunk 267

Posted by michael
from the got-your-back dept.
Nereus writes "The BBC News is reporting on an interesting new software product developed by three undergraduates at the University of Aberdeen [and the Universities of Hull and Sheffield]. The University Leisure and Lifestyle Manager (ULL) is the ultimate student companion, helping in all aspects of life; from choosing text books, to getting home from the pub after a few too many. Hopefully it won't put an end to the traditional student pastime of waking up on a park bench after a night out, with a traffic cone on your head..."
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Take Me Home, I'm Drunk

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  • by attaboy (689931) * on Friday April 16, 2004 @01:58PM (#8883619)

    Shouldn't it be "Take me drunk, I'm home?"
  • lol! (Score:5, Funny)

    by Grant29 (701796) * on Friday April 16, 2004 @01:59PM (#8883630) Homepage
    No matter how well the software is written, the real question is: Will it help me get a chick in the pub? Getting drunk and eventually getting home is the easy part.

    --
    Retail Retreat [retailretreat.com]
    • Re:lol! (Score:5, Funny)

      by afidel (530433) on Friday April 16, 2004 @02:06PM (#8883754)
      Hmm, I wonder if there are any backdoors left by the programmers. Like say if certain attractive females activate the program they might get directed to the dorm of the programmer/malicious operator instead of their own place. Now THAT would be using technology to your advantage!

      (*no I don't really advocate taking advantage of annebriated members of the opposite sex, it's a joke, laugh*)
    • Re:lol! (Score:2, Funny)

      by SEWilco (27983)
      No matter how well the software is written, getting home from the pub after a few too many is a hardware problem.
      Both the transportation and snailspace avatar malfunctions are hardware problems.
      The decisions leading to "too many" are software, but by the time this support call is made the damage has been done.
      • Re:lol! (Score:2, Insightful)

        by Golias (176380)
        I think that the real question here is, "has the interface of this program been tested on people too drunk to walk home?"

        It's not much help if you can't operate it.

    • Re:lol! (Score:5, Funny)

      by cptgrudge (177113) <cptgrudge&gmail,com> on Friday April 16, 2004 @02:19PM (#8883939) Journal
      Getting drunk and eventually getting home is the easy part.

      You'd think so, wouldn't you? But I know a guy who had a bunch of trouble one night.

      He went out to a few bars one night with friends, and they all ended up at a couple's house that they had met. After everybody went home, this guy decided to stay there, because he was too drunk. For some reason he slept on this couple's bed too when they all passed out. One of the two of the couple had pissed the bed in the night (he thinks it was the guy), and now this guy was sleeping in urine all night. The next morning found him with a bad hangover, smelling like piss, and finding that his pants had been ripped up when their dog decided to eat his wallet.

      That's a bad night.

      • Re:lol! (Score:3, Funny)

        by mforbes (575538)

        It could be worse.

        A guy I used to know, a reformed drunk, used to be in the Navy (whether or not the drunkenness had anything to do with getting out, I don't know).

        One night in a foreign port he got particularly plastered, but managed to find his way back to the pier. He went onboard ship, found his way to his rack (bed? bunk? I have no idea what they're called on large ships), and promptly passed out.

        He came to in the morning very groggy and for some reason hearing the ship's horn blast. He was exp

    • For you maybe! For me _finding_ home is the hardest part!! (I'm Canadian, I drink...A lot....err..ok...always)
    • Re:lol! (Score:2, Funny)

      by WwWonka (545303)
      No matter how well the software is written, the real question is: Will it help me get a chick in the pub?

      If user == Reads_Slashdot goto Not_A_Chance_In_Hell
    • "Will it help me get a chick in the pub?"

      Leave the chickens alone!

  • by AtariAmarok (451306) on Friday April 16, 2004 @01:59PM (#8883638)
    "You seem to be writing a letter"

    "You seem to be sleeping in and there is an exam in 13 minutes"

    "Are you really sure you want to install OSS on that machine?"
  • Responsibility? (Score:5, Insightful)

    by bigbadunix (662724) on Friday April 16, 2004 @02:00PM (#8883647) Homepage Journal
    Whatever happened to people using their heads to make smart decisions on how to handle their day to day existence?

    Geez.

    • That's the purpose of college -- to learn to use your head. Geez
    • People stopped using their heads when they realized they could file lawsuits against others for their own dumb mistakes (thinking back to McDonalds coffee). If this went operational, how long till someone takes the creators to court if the owner uses it incorrectly and ends up in the wrong location after a trip to the pub.
    • by shadowcabbit (466253) <cx@@@thefurryone...net> on Friday April 16, 2004 @02:05PM (#8883725) Journal
      Whatever happened to people using their heads to make smart decisions on how to handle their day to day existence?

      People really used to do that? Oh really. And I suppose you have a bridge to sell me, now.
    • They've been outsourced to machines to leave room for more important things. Like alcohol.
    • Re:Responsibility? (Score:3, Informative)

      by jmpoast (736629)
      I don't see how using this utility to pick out textbooks and find bars has anything to do with responsibility. In fact I think using this to get a cab is a great deal more responsible than driving yourself home.
    • Re:Responsibility? (Score:3, Informative)

      by sporty (27564)
      They had one too many. Alcohol will do that to a person.
    • 4,500 entrants to the Microsoft Imagine Cup and this bullshit is the best they could come up with? The posters for this competition were plastered up all over the Computer Science and Physics buildings here on campus at Reading. I thought a trip to Brazil sounded cool but then again I'm not the best programmer in my University, let alone the whole country. Maybe I should have entered, after all, all of the hardcore programmers would steer clear of anything endorsed by Microsoft! I wonder what percentage
    • Alcohol. ;-)
    • You can't sell personal responsibility.

      Just like you can't sell the idea that it's OK to be bald, or to eat less & excercize more, or that it's a good idea to have some germs around to build up your immune system...

      --

  • by ackthpt (218170) * on Friday April 16, 2004 @02:00PM (#8883651) Homepage Journal
    Ok, I'm on home turf and can authoritavively state, "If you can figure out your cell phone then you ain't drunk."

    Seriously, when I've been completely pissed I can hardly remember key sequences and don't even think about coding while drunk, all you get is code riddled with errors and a headache. Fiddling with fiddly little things with lots of buttons (some of which result in a most pleasing and satisfying 'Beep') requires dozens more firing neurons than lifting a pint. Best to just seek out that park bench, some warm snuggly newspapers and a traffic cone.

    • by MoonBuggy (611105) on Friday April 16, 2004 @02:04PM (#8883706) Journal
      It depends what you're trying to figure out with your phone. I can attest that I and my friends were completely smashed when the idea came to us that we should all throw our phones at the floor and see which one bounced higher ;-)
    • by dkleinsc (563838) on Friday April 16, 2004 @02:09PM (#8883788) Homepage
      I follow a different definition of drunkenness: "You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
    • Thank God my phone has a voice dial.

      [Command, please.] "N'm dial." [Name, please.] "Txycabcr." [Did you say: 'Texas Star'?] "No." [Did you say: 'Toxic Avenger'?] "Fuk no." [Did you say: 'Drunken idiot who can't speak straight'?] "Fuk yoo, I donwanna takk to [friend standing next to me]."
    • I think I'd be able to figure this thing out even when fall-down drunk... it would just take a very long time ("What's that button say? Uhhhhhh "yeshss??" yeah, that's what I want to click... whoops, almost missed there...").

      But about your discussion on coding drunk, can't say I've done that, but I did once come back to my room piss drunk and suddenly decided that I wanted to "edit and proofread" the essay I had written earlier in the day. I woke up the next morning in a cold sweat, only remembering this
    • by Griim (8798) on Friday April 16, 2004 @02:14PM (#8883861) Homepage
      This reminds me of my friend who programmed the voice-command dialer in his phone, so when he says "I'm drunk!" it calls a cab company.
      • This reminds me of my friend who programmed the voice-command dialer in his phone, so when he says "I'm drunk!" it calls a cab company.

        "shay, doont I ken ye? Yoo pikt me up lotsa times frooma pub, yeah?"
        "Yup, Mr. McLeod, home again, I assume?"
        "Yesh. Boy, I godda stop drinkin sho mush, I hardly godda nuff money to pay yoos."
        "That's alright, here let me take the fare out of your wallet, you seem to drunk to count it properly."
        "Thanksh, yerra pal. Shay, win did you gidda mersaydees cab, looksh vurra n

    • Best to just seek out that park bench, some warm snuggly newspapers and a traffic cone.
      Yes, it does show there is some sanity left. I woke up at home with a traffic cone near my bed and no memory of leaving the party.
    • The human brain has a fantasic emergency backup system. I have been told by my grildfriends that I came home one night in terrible condition laying flat out on the livingroom floor gurgling and repeating my VISA card number as answer to all her questions. Of course, i cant recall this.

    • I've used technology too long, I can still use my cell phone, when I probably shouldn't be. It's lead to some pretty embarassing phone calls to ex-girlfriends, when I was too drunk to think (or even walk). :)

      Usually they're good enough to not hang up, and let me fully embarrass myself.

      Someone should ask the question, what's the wierdest place you've woken up after a night of drinking.. :)

      Mine would be in a parking lot. I couldn't find my car keys (in my jacket pocket), so I laid down on the
    • Ahh the joys of mixing alcohol with mobile phones. One night on the town a few years ago, I was IDed (I was about 16 at the time) at one of the O'Neill's pubs when I was out with my mates. I was the last person to try to go in and you know what happens, all of my friends get in and I don't. So there I am pissed out of my face, calling up the police and saying 'Come and raid O'Neills, there are underage drinkers in there!' while the door men are shaking their heads at me. I start to walk (stumble) home a
    • Drunk programming (Score:3, Interesting)

      by SuperBanana (662181)
      Seriously, when I've been completely pissed I can hardly remember key sequences and don't even think about coding while drunk, all you get is code riddled with errors and a headache.

      A grad student at my college once coded an entire poker game(in Scheme, I believe) while throughly drunk one night. It worked flawlessly, on the first try the next morning. Nobody could figure out how most of it worked.

      Intel flew him from Wisconsin to Texas for interviews one weekend and hired him on the spot(the offer wa

    • >and don't even think about coding while drunk, all you get is code riddled with errors and a headache.

      I've tried coding when drunk a few times, and I've noticed I take a more 'gung-ho' approach to coding. While the code itself does it's function, I find the next day when I look at the code, that it misses out a lot of checks for return values from functions likely to fail, and generally, I leave out robustness-tests. Come to think of it, when drunk, I am of the philosophy that debugging can wait until

    • by denne (708170) on Friday April 16, 2004 @02:35PM (#8884159)
      one tip:

      the metal alloy of sony ericsson t610 is not hard enough to open cans with.
    • Nonsense. My anecodotal evidence disproves your anecdotal evidence:

      Once, at a convention, we had a room party and got blitzed on various forms of booze, from absinthe to...hmm, can't think of something that begins with z...uh, vodka. That's close. Anyway, it eventually wrapped up and our guests stumbled off to their rooms. My much more sober roommate went to the bathroom to brush his teeth, and I managed to crawl into bed, drunk-dial my boyfriend and leave a rambling message on his voicemail, and fall
  • Nice Software (Score:5, Insightful)

    by cexshun (770970) on Friday April 16, 2004 @02:00PM (#8883658) Homepage
    Handy stuff. I know when I'm piss drunk, I have no trouble at all operating a smart phone/PDA.
  • by QuantumRiff (120817) on Friday April 16, 2004 @02:01PM (#8883671)
    If i'm too drunk to walk home, I can't even hit the little buttons on my cell in the correct order, how the hell is that going to work?
  • In a related story, the company reports that out of all the device forms in the catalog, the "inflatable woman" leads in pre-sales, followed by "Bit" from TRON and the Sonic Hedgeho "Tails" character.
  • Ah.... (Score:5, Funny)

    by jawtheshark (198669) * <slashdot.jawtheshark@com> on Friday April 16, 2004 @02:01PM (#8883676) Homepage Journal
    I would have needed that back in the day. It would have helped me not getting picked up by the cops while sleeping in the ditch.

    Ah, memories... I still don't exaclty remember how I ended up there. The cops were nice, they brought me home.

  • Bundled Savings? (Score:2, Insightful)

    by MakoStorm (699968)
    It would be a deal if it came with like discounts on cab rides or local bar coupons or booze shop discounts.
  • by Lord_Slepnir (585350) on Friday April 16, 2004 @02:03PM (#8883702) Journal
    When you wake up on a Park Bench? What kind of lame school did you go to? It's not even a night out unless you're either in de-tox, a cell, or in bed with something really scary looking.
  • by ch-chuck (9622) on Friday April 16, 2004 @02:06PM (#8883746) Homepage
    What is this, the Hitchhikers Guide to the University?

    entry for University of Aberdeen - Mostly Harmless.

  • by NOLAChief (646613) on Friday April 16, 2004 @02:08PM (#8883777)
    Some nice ideas, but I've never had any choice in what textbooks to get, so I've got no use for that little widget. And how's it gonna actually give me feedback on essays beyond the spell/grammar check capability already in MS Word/ OO Write? The whole thing strikes me as being a jack of all trades, master of none.
  • But... (Score:3, Funny)

    by PeaceTank (758859) on Friday April 16, 2004 @02:09PM (#8883792)
    But does it get rid of the chick you ended up with after the one night stand the morning after?
  • This story reminds me of the yarn that Lister spins in Red Dwarf. "My mate Petersen once brought a pair of shoes with artificial intelligence. Smart Shoes, they were called. It was a neat idea. No matter how blind drunk you were, they would always get you home. Then he got ratted one night in Oslo, and woke up the next morning in Burma."
    • In a related Red Dwarf reference:

      Cat: Hey, it's not a good night unless you get a traffic cone. It's the policewoman's helmet and the suspenders I don't understand. ...
  • I'm still sober
  • Real World? (Score:3, Insightful)

    by webword (82711) on Friday April 16, 2004 @02:15PM (#8883879) Homepage
    "Mr Grieve is confident the system can be used in the real world."

    That is what really matters. There are literally thousands of nifty little student projects created each year. While ideas are interesting, they are cheap. Even the most clever ideas die.

    In this case, the students were lucky enough to get some press. That exposure, of course, will drive the idea up the ladder. Still, exposure alone will not make the idea successful in the market. Bravo to the students for getting some free PR!

    Linux suffers from similar problems. It just doesn't matter how great it is. What matters, to many people, but not all, is how Linux is adopted in the marketplace. The best ideas don't necessarily win. Product marketing, solid management, planning, quality, and more, all matter.
  • Gator (Score:2, Funny)

    by monster811 (752356)
    Sounds like what spyware companies have been pushing for years...
  • In Russia (not necessarily Soviet, though they had this back then, too) men have what they call "autopilot". They don't need no stinkin' smartphone when they're drunk. I've tried that multiple times and it works. Just leave it to whatever little part of your brain that is still functioning (that's what the autopilot is, essentially and this assumes that you haven't done drugs with your Vodka) and it'll get you home all by itself if you can walk. And I can walk no matter how much "load I've taken on my chest
  • by moviepig.com (745183) on Friday April 16, 2004 @02:23PM (#8883987) Homepage
    "If students are into academia, then the text book service and the feedback on assessment will be handy."

    If students are into academia???

    Wonder what UofAberdeen's tuition is.

  • by SuperBanana (662181) on Friday April 16, 2004 @02:24PM (#8883999)
    from choosing text books, to getting home from the pub after a few too many.

    How about getting your car home from the pub? There's a problem it can't solve. Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson had a brilliant suggestion- he parks illegally. Gets a great spot, and the next morning, he walks down to the tow lot a few minutes away, pays the fee and drives home. Apparently it works out perfectly, with the tow fee being less than one-way taxi fare.

    Excellent TV program, by the way. If you can find it on the p2p nets, it's fantastic. Fifth Gear is decent(Tiff is pretty funny, Viki's alright), but not as good. Beware short clips "mistakenly" named with "Top Gear" in the filename. Oh, I wish we had reviewers like Clarkson etc here in the states.

  • Huh? (Score:3, Funny)

    by AbbyNormal (216235) on Friday April 16, 2004 @02:27PM (#8884053) Homepage
    "traditional student pastime" ?

    That was last night!
  • by da3dAlus (20553) <dustin,grau&gmail,com> on Friday April 16, 2004 @02:29PM (#8884071) Homepage Journal
    Of having your friends help drag your sorry ass from the on-campus apartments back to your dorm room, while waving at the cops who are driving past the party...and then when they get you in the room and throw you on your $5 Goodwill couch, your roommate turns and points, and does a Nelson Muntz "HAA-HAA". Maybe that's just me...
  • God forbid... (Score:4, Insightful)

    by fizban (58094) <fizban@umich.edu> on Friday April 16, 2004 @02:32PM (#8884131) Homepage
    ... you should actually use your own brain!
  • by JWSmythe (446288) <<moc.ehtymswj> <ta> <ehtymswj>> on Friday April 16, 2004 @02:33PM (#8884137) Homepage Journal
    "Take Me Home, I'm Drunk"

    Isn't that the blonde mating call?

    (good thing my girlfriend doesn't read here)

  • by blair1q (305137) on Friday April 16, 2004 @02:37PM (#8884191) Journal
    "Now I don't need any friends," the geek says, "this is the best Christmas ever."

  • ...I didn't get a parking cone, but I did get alot of Sharpie on my face. That was a real hit at work. *blush*
  • by gibster (206528) on Friday April 16, 2004 @02:50PM (#8884431)
    I'm quite proud to say that the original idea and first implementation of this program was created while sat in my room.

    M. Steeples, mentioned in the article created the idea behind this, and won the second round of the competition based purely on his work on it, tbh, he is a pretty scary coder, not mentioned in the article there is he also won "Best Competitor".

    In case anyone is wondering, all rights and code belong to the students involved, Microsoft is not getting anything out of the competition in that way.
  • Er one slight problem: what student (pissed or not) would actually use a taxi!? Thats like wasting drink money! and text books?!? WTF? A real student manager should have Locate women, Locate drinks, Locate toilet.
  • by Cruciform (42896) on Friday April 16, 2004 @03:12PM (#8884808) Homepage
    Drunken Student: "...and so we all ended up in the lake. Hey, you want to get out of here? I've got a great view of the quad from my balcony."

    Bar Girl: (smiling) Sure, I'd love ---

    ULL Device: *beep* *beep* *beep*

    Drunken Student: "Hmm? Just a sec."

    ULL Device: Danger Will Robinson, Danger! Target female possesses adam's apple and male genitalia! High probability you've wandered into a tranny bar. This is not within acceptable parameters.

    Drunken Student: "Umm, I forgot I have to write an important she-male, er e-mail, when I get home. Sorry, gotta run.

    Bar Girl: (waving from the bar) "Call me?"
  • First, an article [slashdot.org] about the shape of the universe, quoting a researcher from the University of Ulm [uni-ulm.de]. Then the University Lifestyle Manager (ULM).

    I wonder if all this is somehow connected to Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern Schplenden Schlitter Crasscrenbon Fried Digger Dingle Dangle Dongle Dungle Durstein von Knacker Thrasher Apple Banger Horowitz Ticolensic Grander Knotty Spelltinkle Grandlich Grumblemeyer Spelterwasser Kurstlich Himbleeisen Bahnwagen Gutenabend Bitte Ein Nürnburger Bratwustle Gerspu
  • I was thinking this was some kind of new dating service technique!

Brain fried -- Core dumped

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