Army Plans Overhaul of Infantry Gear

nxg125 writes "Wired is running an article about a seven-year, $250 million revamping of the US Army's uniforms. One of the major obstacles is going to be how to power all the electronic devices that the soldiers will use. 'They have at least one idea, though. "Avoid the use of Microsoft Windows operating systems," a recent memo on the subject directed. FFW is going open source. Cleaner software needs less energy to run.'"

BSOD

[AtariAmarok]

"'They have at least one idea, though. "Avoid the use of Microsoft Windows operating systems,""

Awww. I was so looking forward to the Yankee "Blue Soldier of Death" putting fear in the hearts of the enemy from the Halls of Montezuma to the Shores of Tripoli.

Sweet!

[Kulaid982]

Our Armed forces are going to be one giant beowulf cluster!

Bloat.

[cryms0n]

Non-bloat software? I'm surprised the Army didn't just try to strap a nuclear power plant to the soldier's back.

Pork! Pork! Pork!

No batteries?

[Sad Mephisto]

How to power those things? Haven't they seen the Matrix?

Wow

[Anonymous Coward]

Boy you know it's not going to be very easy to edit whatever.conf on your jacket. Maybe they should reconsider this.

Very silly post about the Marines.

[The I Shing]

Well, the USMC uses suits like this that are powered by sound. Tiny receivers built into a Marine's helmet transmit sound energy into a belt-mounted unit to the rear. Guttural, high-pitched sounds generate the most energy, so when you see a sergeant right up in a private's face screaming, he's actually just recharging the private's batteries. No, really!

Windows Front Line edition

[Anonymous Coward]

Just as you see the whites of their eyes
FIRE.EXE has performed an illegal operation and w.....

Times are changing

[NinjaFodder]

All I got when I was in the military was a gun, uncomfortable boots, and a pair of clean socks. Luckily, I didn't see any combat or I would have needed an extra pair of clean underwear too.

Clippy

[AtariAmarok]

"It looks like you are engaging in offensive manoevers. Would you like help?"

Get help writing battle plan.

Set us up the bomb.

Simple Solution for the power problem

[vijaya_chandra]

One of the major obstacles is going to be how to power all the electronic devices that the soldiers will use

Build their helmets with solar panels

(that the US army spends most of it's time in deserts or barren hills would tell you that this'd be the most efficient thing to do)

bake sale

[happyfrogcow]

they better be having one hell of a bake sale to make that kind of money...

colonel panic?

[Anonymous Coward]

Open source in the military? Has anybody made a Colonel Panic joke yet?

this just cracks me up! :)

[xutopia]

But tests showed that "some people's heads were literally too thick for that to work," DeGay said.

What might happen if they DID use windows....

[eviljolly]

"Enemy spotted, 100 yards and closing.
"Open fire soldier!"
"Sir my weapon says it's not responding"
"Reboot soldier!"
"I did sir, but each time I reboot it still says "Remote Procedure Call (RPC) service terminated unexpectedly.""
"Disable your wireless connection soldier and switch to manual override, we're being exploited!"

Meanwhile somewhere in the middle east...
"Heheheheh.........silly Americans...."

Big Boned

[medication]

'DeGay and his fellow Future Force Warriors call it a "load-bearing chassis."' - load-bearing chassis, reminds me of some PC term like 'Big Boned'. She ain't heavy, she's just got a load-bearing chasis.

Recruiting tool.

[AtariAmarok]

If this means full iPods built into the suit, count me in! Where's the nearest recruiting office? Who needs ammo when you are armed with 5,000 songs.

Research shows

[Prince Vegeta SSJ4]

a strong correlation between tradition in military uniforms, and the strength of ones military. Historically speaking, as uniforms have become more and more advanced, more maintenance is required for upkeep. While in the past, the benefits of the advanced uniform have been able to outpace the cost of maintenance, this is decreasingly the case.

As a consequence, the military has chosen to provide the utmost camoflauge, while at the same time provide a uniform that simply scares the hell out of the enemy. HERE [geocities.com] is the prototype. (I know geocities, I'm lazy it's the first imge I could find)

An illegal operation has been performed...

[UTPinky]

Using a Windows version could really bring about a whole new meaning to the phrase "Blue Screen of DEATH"

No clippy?

[Himring]

"Avoid the use of Microsoft Windows operating systems,"

Too bad. I guess that means no MS Word either. I guess that means no clippy, and I guess that means no:

It looks like you're killing people. Would you like help?

Re:BSOD

[blair1q]

If you see a blue soldier, he is playing in God mode.

Windows has detected.....

[cardshark2001]

The soldier inserts a new clip into his gun.

"Windows has detected new hardware. Please insert the Windows installation disk."

Re:Simple Solution for the power problem

[garymcg]

build their helmets with solar panels

Until the reflexion of all the solar panels gives your position away, that sounded like a good idea. However, we are not only looking for practicality, we are looking to keep our troops alive... Nothing like a bringt reflection to make it easier to aim your rifle...

In order to avoid the reflection problem, maybe they should only use the solar panel helmets at night!

Obligatory Klingon Quote

[CHaN_316]

"History is written by the victors!" -Chancellor Gowron

who is this general failure?

[dunkelfalke]

and why is he reading my hard disk?

Re:Simple Solution for the power problem

[zonix]

Build their helmets with solar panels

Yeah, solar panels will come in handy when powering those night vision goggles. :-)

z

Re:Obligatory kneejerk reaction aside

[Anonvmous Coward]

"No need for a cheap-shot."

Agreed. I read that little quip and thought I was reading a Dilbert cartoon. "Next we want you to write software that makes the laptop lighter."

Oh boy....

[The-Bus]

[THE SCENE: A battlefield before a hill, with a Commander and several infantrymen, including a Grunt right near him. The enemy approaches...]

Commander: "Here they are men, coming over the crest...!"

Grunt: "Sir, it looks like they are using flame throwers! We were only equipped for ballistics and hand-to-hand combat."

Commander: "No problem soldier, we'll upgrade to flame-resistant armor. I'll issue the command."

[On screen] ***BZT!**** WINDOWS GUI:
Welcome to Windows Battlefield Update
Get the latest updates available for your suit's operating system, software, and hardware.
Windows Battlefield Update scans your computer and provides you with a selection of updates tailored just for you.[End Screen]

Grunt: "Hurry! They're coming over the hill!"

[On screen]. WBU is scanning for updates... 0%... 33%... 66%... 100% Complete!
Windows Update has found other updates for your computer. Browse through these updates and select the ones you want to install:

[X] Flame Retardant Skin 1.56MB
[ ] Ice Shield Update 39459FTG 6.7MB
[ ] SCUBA Fix 3949DFR (Prevents Drowning) 34.5KB
[ ] WBU Hotfix 29399DEE 12.5KB
[ ] S-Prepatch 3030WSA 6.7TB ...

You've selected:
**BZT!
[End screen]

Grunt: "They're getting really close now!!!"
Commander: "Hold them off!"

[On screen] *BBRM***
[X] Flame Retardant Skin

Before being able to install this, you will need:

[ ] S-Prepatch 3030WSA 6.7TB

Estimated download time: 2 days, 6 hours, 5 minutes.

Hit OK to pro--[End screen]

**flames erupt**

[ENTER SCREEN, TOP RIGHT: Clippy, a handsome rogue]

Clippy: Hello! It appears you have 2nd degree burns. Would you like to?
[x] Call a Medic
[ ] No thanks, I'd like to die now

Re:No, there are other considerations

[Anonymous Coward]

"The US (and most other nations) is a nation that obeys the Geneva Convention."

Don't tell me: you haven't been keeping up with world events.

Obligatory Nelson

[pragma_x]

(Microsoft looses millions in DOD revinue)

Ha-Ha.

Re:Send the Marines! By Tom Lehrer

[magefile]

Forgot to make it "plain old text" rather than HTML. Sorry; here it is, corrected.

Send The Marines
[spoken]
What with President Johnson practicing escalatial on the Vietnamese and then the Dominican crisis on top of that it has been a nervous year and people have begun to feel like a Christian scientist with appendicitis. Fortunately in times of crisis just like this America always has this number one instrument of diplomacy to fall back on. Here's a song about it.

[Cassons song intro]
When someone makes a move
Of which we don't approve,
Who is it that always intervenes?
U.N. and O.A.S.,
They have their place, I guess,
But first,
we'll send the Marines!

We'll send them all we've got,
John Wayne and Randolph Scott,
Remember those exciting fighting scenes?
To the shores of Tripoli,
But not to Mississippoli,
What do we do? We send the Marines!

For might makes right,
Until they've seen the light,
They've got to be protected,
All their rights respected,
'Till somebody we like can be elected.

The members of the corps
All hate the thought of war,
They'd rather kill them off by peaceful means.
Stop calling it aggression,
We hate that expression!
We only want the world to know
That we support the status quo,
They love us everywhere we go,
So when in doubt,
Send the Marines!

What will happen when they use Open Source...

[Anonymous Coward]

> "Enemy spotted, 100 yards and closing.
> "Open fire soldier!"
> "Sir my weapon says it's not responding"

"There isn't a driver for the magazine loader."
"The firing module wasn't compiled into the kernel."
"There's no documentation. Throw rocks at the enemy while I look around on Google, Usenet, and IRC."
"The trigger code wasn't tested with this distro. The programmer wants me to use JimBobsBaitAndTackle Linux instead."

Calculator???

[willtsmith]

Couldn't that fall out of the plane as well?????

Maybe they'd be right to use Windows

[Anonymous Coward]

Hey! Hostiles coming straight at us!
[e-mail]> mount /dev/sda1 /mnt/gun
error: only root user can mount /dev/sda1 on /mnt/gun
Shit!
[e-mail]> mount /dev/sda1 /mnt/gun
error: /dev/sda1 is not a valid block peripheral
They're coming near us!
[e-mail]> ps aux | grep enemy_soldier
[e-mail]> kill -9 2784
error: no such process
What do we do now?
error: /dev/brain does not exist, using /dev/null instead
RUN!!!!!