Win a Part in the Hitchhiker's Guide

jweatherley writes "The BBC are offering someone the chance to win a part in the forthcoming Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy movie. You just have to send them a picture of somewhere on Earth that deserves to be spared from the Vogons by 25 June - oh and be British!" Python impressions don't count ;)

Some quotes, perhaps?

[strictnein]

Oh yes... might as well start with some nice quotes from the book:

"Drink up."

He added, perfectly factually:

"The world's about to end."

-------------

"You barbarians!" he yelled. "I'll sue the council for every
penny it's got! I'll have you hung, drawn and quartered! And
whipped! And boiled ... until ... until ... until you've had
enough."

Ford was running after him very fast. Very very fast.

"And then I'll do it again!" yelled Arthur. "And when I've
finished I will take all the little bits, and I will jump on
them!"

Re:Some quotes, perhaps?

[David Gould]

send them a picture of somewhere on Earth that deserves to be spared from the Vogons

"Go ahead, if it makes you feel better."

"Will it do any good?"

"No."

Re:Some quotes, perhaps?

[EvanED]

"But Mr. Dent, the plans have been on available at the local planning office for the last nine months."
"Oh yes, well, as soon as I heard I went straight round to see them, yesterday afternoon. You had'nt exactly gone out of your way to call attention to them, had you? I mean, like actually telling anybody or anything."
"But the plans were on display..."
"On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them."
"That's the display department."
"With a flashlight."
"Ah, well, the lights had probably gone."
"So had the stairs."
"But look, you found the notice, didn't you?"
"Yes," said Arthur, "yes I did. It were on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the doory saying 'Beware of the Leopard.'"

Why do I get the feeling it will be possible to reconstruct the entire book from this thread?

Does it really say "flashlight"? Can't be right

[N Monkey]

"That's the display department."
"With a flashlight."
"Ah, well, the lights had probably gone."

Surely that's not right? I don't recall seeing that in the book and nor can I imagine Arthur Dent saying "flashlight". Surely he'd have said "torch"?

Is it possible the publishers did a translation for the US market?

Ahh: These links (a, [pastiche.org] and b [flipcode.com]) tend to agree with me.

Re:Some quotes, perhaps?

[magefile]

Which is that from? I know it's in Starship Titanic (game for sure, possibly the book, I forget), but is it in H2G2?

The original quote, as I remember it from the game (GUI, natural language, not the book) was "NOBODY LIKES A SMARTASS". As a defusal code, IIRC.

Re:Some quotes, perhaps?

[Scutter]

It's the bit when the narrator is describing the invention of the Infinite Improbability Generator by a lab assistant and the subsequent lynching of same by the scientists who'd been working on it their entire lives.

Re:Some quotes, perhaps?

[magefile]

I remember now. I read that part and thought, "now I *know* this is a comedy. In the Real World, they'd just steal the credit".

Re:Some quotes, perhaps?

[GFLPraxis]

It's from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, not Starship Titanic...

My favorite quote is about the 2nd worst poet in the galaxy, Grunthos the Flatulent. The quote was about his poem...I can't remember the quote off the top of my head, but it was about the poem "Ode to the Small Lump of Green Putty I Found Under My Armpit One Midsummer Morning." During the reading, 5 of the audience died of internal hemmorrhaging, and the president of galactic noble arts survived by gnawing his own leg off.

Oh, and theres

Cool, I have my towel and everything!

[Anonymous Coward]

If they are giving away free Babelfish I am so there.

Re:Cool, I have my towel and everything!

[joeldg]

babelfish.altavista.com is just not quite up to the task is it...

And you really would not want it in your ear!!

Re:Cool, I have my towel and everything!

[G-funk]

King oath, who hasn't always wanted a babelfish?...

And somewhat in the spirit of the guide, dozens of slashdotters actually cried "I _AM_ an American you insensitive clod!", and yea they were on topic, and the universe did collapse unto itself.

whoohoo

[nizo]

oh and be British!

I knew there was a reason I haven't gone to the dentist in a few years.

Re:whoohoo

[Anonymous Coward]

this is the stereotype police...

drop the outdated comment and slowly walk away...

AndyboyH

Re:whoohoo

[sydb]

Where does this idea come from? I mean, OK, I'm British and my teeth are a shambles, but I'm only a single data point.

Re:whoohoo

[nizo]

I dunno where this came from, but since we 'merkins have pointed heads and our eyes are too close together maybe you Brits got the better end of the deal. Oh and guns, lots of guns.

You're a merkin? Really?

[N Monkey]

but since we 'merkins

OT I know, but I've always understood that a "merkin" was a pubic wig; at least I believe that's the definition in the OED.

Often!

[Scorchio]

At least every 6 months, and much more when getting treatment, because it was covered by the NHS. Now I live in the US and need to pay, so I haven't been yet. Quite where this stereotype has come from is a mystery to me...

Re:whoohoo

[eggoeater]

My great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-gr eat-great-great-great-great-grandfather was british..... does that count?

Re:whoohoo

[hambonewilkins]

To be fair, the Brits do get "Hedley and Wyche, the British toothpaste"

Mike Myers: You Yanks have borrowed a lot of things from us Brits. You like our pubs, and you like our fish and chips. Well, let me let you in on another little secret: Hedley and Wyche, the British toothpaste!
Phil Hartman: It's the only toothpaste we ever use. One tube lasts for years!
Kevin Nealon: I've used Hedley and Wyche all my life and I've never had to go to the dentist!
Chris Farley: And it tastes great on a cracker!
Mike Myers: What makes brushing with Hedley and Wyche such a pleasure? The mild cleansing agent is combined with two tablespoons of pure cane sugar, for a smile that says, 'Yum, that tastes good.'
All (singing): Hedley and Wyche, the British toothpaste, it works OK and it tastes real great!
Narrator: Hedley and Wyche, the British toothpaste, for a smile that says: "Yum, that tastes gooood!"

On second thought, maybe you have to see the SNL sketch.

I love HGTG

[stev3]

"You know, it's at times like this when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young!" "Why, what did she tell you?" "I don't know, I didn't listen."

Don't spare THOSE places!

[Shoeler]

Instead of asking places to be spared, can we ask for places to be obliterated?

I won't say which places, of course. I'll be nice. (unless you ask nicely)

Some Ideas:

[irokitt]

o The White House

o Britney Spear's Mansion

o Redmond, Washington

o AOL/Disney/RIAA/$EVIL_CORPORATION headquarters

o Whatever company makes vending machines. I swear, I've lost so much to those things...

Re:Some Ideas:

[Smidge204]

Don't worry, we'll put the plans on display at the local planning office!

=Smidge=

Re:Some Ideas:

[kalidasa]

I believe the technical name for that topos is "the contractors on the Death Star."

Slough

[T-Kir]

Yep, has to be Slough I'm afraid... (plus The Office is based there).

Re:Slough

[Nexus Seven]

And I thought David Brent was a fictional character...

Houses are so expensive because it's within spitting distance of London. Unfortunately, the average salary in Slough is well below the regional average, meaning the town suffers from a very low quality of life. Perhaps that's why I want to commit suicide everytime I go there.

Re:Don't spare THOSE places!

[Anonymous Coward]

Instead of asking places to be spared, can we ask for places to be obliterated?
You are American, right?

Wait a minute...

[th1ckasabr1ck]

... THAT must be how Jerome Blake got the part.

Damnit

[mphase]

I'm usually on the other end of this and now I know how much it sucks. I can't partake because I'm American, arg...I mean bloody hell mate I'm as British as apple pi...umm bangers and mash.

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:Damnit

[NoNeeeed]

Bangers : Slang for sausages. Presumably because they split when you cook them (if you forget to prick them first). These are not the same a weiners, or hotdogs which tend to be made from much more highly processed 'meat'. British sausages are not smoked, or kept in jars of brine, and are normally burnt to a cinder.

Mash : Mashed potatos.

So, bangers and mash is sausages and mashed potatos.

Mmmmmmmmmm. I suddenly feel very hungry... :->

What IS bangers and mash?

[burgburgburg]

Why, it's a A great English family favourite [allinfoabout.com]

Sausages and mashed potato, served at the coronation of James II (1685-1688).

Re:What IS bangers and mash?

[lobsterGun]

Why, it's a A great English family favourite

Sausages and mashed potato, served at the coronation of James II (1685-1688).

They must have made a lot of extras to still have any left after 400 years!

Re:What IS bangers and mash?

[Richard_L_James]

Why, it's a A great English family favourite

Oh NO they are NOT!

A Brit would know that Bangers & Mash are infact 2 naughty Chimpanzee brothers who live at number 3 Tree Street [kidsera.com]. You can see some of their videos here [criterionpic.com] or download one of their games here [cpcgamereviews.com] :-)

Re:Damnit

[nacturation]

You should really be asking, "What the hell is Spotted Dick [bbc.co.uk]?"

Re:Damnit

[mopslik]

as British as apple pi

Isn't that a highly irrational comment?

Re:Damnit

[Gulik]

as British as apple pi

Isn't that a highly irrational comment?

Who cares? All I know is that I've been looking far and wide for English food that won't repeat on me.

Re:Damnit

[jpetts]

Isn't that a highly irrational comment?

Yes, but this one is transcendental! [caltech.edu]

Re:Damnit

[isorox]

I'm as British as apple pi...umm bangers and mash.

Tea and crumpets?

Actually traditional british food is a Curry washed down with a Danish lager

Re:Damnit

[magefile]

Isn't that more Indian and Dani ... dammit, I've gotta grow a sense of humor.

The Book

[strictnein]

In case you want to read your favorite chapter:

http://www.totse.com/en/ego/science_fiction/hitc h1 .html

Re:The Book

[strictnein]

and yes... I am an idiot for not linking to it [totse.com]

Amazing....

[Mz6]

That's amazing that simply linking to the article gets you higher moderation rather than a paste of hte link. I guess we really ARE lazy.

Re:Amazing....

[dasmegabyte]

I think it's amazing that on Slashdot, copyright violation is worth brownie points.

How many would I get for credit card fraud?

Terry Gilliam

[fudgefactor7]

Gilliam wasn't a Brit, and he was a Python, and they adored him. But he was *in* Britain, so maybe there's luck that an emigrated Yank could score a roll... Here's hoping, at any rate.

Re:Terry Gilliam

[donscarletti]

You will notice however that throughout all of the flying circus episodes they only actually let him speak twice.

Re:Terry Gilliam

[Kenja]

As he once said, "This is my only line".

Still Python just wouldn't have been the same without the animations.

Re:Terry Gilliam

[NoData]

so maybe there's luck that an emigrated Yank could score a roll... Here's hoping, at any rate.

Maybe you've just got to have a real hunger for it...

(where's -1: Groan, right?)

Re:Terry Gilliam

[fudgefactor7]

Clearly, I've been playing WAAAAY too much D&D...

Sorry about that. And I am a bit peckish. Hmm, off to the snack table I think.

Re:Terry Gilliam

[KlaymenDK]

so maybe there's luck that an emigrated Yank could score a roll...

Why would you want to score a troll? Eh, what's that? Oh, nevermind then.

Re:Terry Gilliam

[BlaKnail]

The eligibility requirement says that you must be a UK resident. Your nationality won't matter if your have a street address in Great Britain.

Re:Terry Gilliam

[magefile]

Just 'cuz you've got an address doesn't make you a resident. Just 'cuz you're a resident doesn't make you an illegal resident.

Doesn't seem right...

[Anonymous Coward]

Do Perl impressions count?

Re:Doesn't seem right...

[dasmegabyte]

My impression of perl: it's an inscruitably complex scripting language playing at being a programming language to somehow legitimize the menial task of batch processing.

Do I win?

Thanks /. !

[Anonymous Coward]

June 25 is in 3 hours in Britain. Timely.

Re:Thanks /. !

[EvilTwinSkippy]

I never could get the hang of Thursdays.

A picture to send

[Anonymous Coward]

Perhaps you have a picture of an animal in its natural habitat that blows you away

goatse comes into mind for some reason...

Something tells me...

[Unnngh!]

...that the winner is just going to have a really hot, photogenic girlfriend;)

Re:Something tells me...

[RobertB-DC]

Something tells me... ...that the winner is just going to have a really hot, photogenic girlfriend ;)

You mean, perhaps like Mick Jagger and former "Page 3 girl" Jeri Hall?

I was going to find a link, but I'm at work, so I can't really search for the appropriate picture. However, Jeri Hall is said to have been wooed by a peculiar Texas custom [luckymojo.com] (link probably suitable for work). I was in Oklahoma during high school, so I guess that's why I'd never heard of this ritual.

Re:Something tells me...

[AKAImBatman]

...that the winner is just going to have a really hot, photogenic girlfriend;)

That gives me a good idea. Someone should take a picture of a young lady in a diner looking like she's busy writing something highly intelligent. For the caption write, "Young lady finds the answer to world peace!"

If they're true fans, how could they NOT pcik that one? ;-)

Damn

[stinkyfingers]

oh and be British!

Football involved helmets and tackling. All of my teeth are intact and healthy. Tea is best cold and sweet. Cars belong on the right side of the road. Skin should not be as pasty white as the under side of aquatic mammals.

I guess I'm out! Unless thinking George W. is royal-freaking-idiot would help my cause.

Re:Damn

[pclminion]

Tea is best cold and sweet.

I think you're over-stereotyping Americans. In the Midwest, sure, "tea" is almost invariably iced, but on the West Coast if you ask for "tea" you will get the hot stuff.

I don't know about our friends on the East Coast.

Re:Damn

[frodo from middle ea]

True converstion between me and a MickyD slaes rep. in Pittsburgh, PA

Me:- One hot tea please.
MickyD :- One Ice Tea hot
Me :- (after thinking about what I really heard ) :- No I wan't just Hot tea
MickyD:- Yeas, One Ice tea hot, that's what I put in.
Me:- Just how do you make a Ice tea Hot.
MickyD:- Oh its easy Sir, We just don't use ice and use hot water instead of cold.
Me:- I'm lovin it.

Re:Damn

[code shady]

I don't know about our friends on the East Coast.
we primarily get tea of the long island variety. deeee-licious.

Advice to the winner ..

[MuMart]

Don't forget to bring a towel!

...

You wanna get high?

Where?

[The Subliminal Kid]

I've been thinking and there isn't anywhere that I could make a case for saving

I'll just buy peanuts and learn Dentrassi.

Re:Where?

[irokitt]

I, for one, would like to see my home remain intact!

I'd enter...

[angst7]

But I'm not too sure that Earth does deserve to be spared from the Vogons.

After all, we've never shown much real initiative to get off this dustbowl. (this weeks achievement notwithstanding)

Now where did I put that electronic sub-etha signalling device?

Re:I'd enter...

[nizo]

Actually I was thinking the same thing. Perhaps entering a blank photo would be appropriate (or maybe a picture of a highway would be more humorous).

Re:I'd enter...

[Dr. Evil]

You know, the Earth does get destroyed pretty early on in that book.

Re:I'd enter...

[LMCBoy]

I don't know. Apathetic bloody little planet, I've no sympathy at all.

(cue terrible ghastly silence)...

Poetry-Reading Amphitheater

[VernonNemitz]

If we had some of those (or declared various places to be such), then that might change a few Vogon minds....

I would take a pic...

[bludstone]

of a brewery. No more earth means no more beer, and thats sad.

The Survivor's Guide to the Galaxy

[sjonke]

Are we *sure* that isn't the title?

GOOGLE

[pyro101]

I would have to say google, they could make a whole description of how google was never actually anywhere it just appeared one day on the internet.

"Python impressions don't count"

[Trikenstein]

wink:wink nudge:nudge say no more

Brittain

[fishybell]

That's it. This is the last straw!

I've been complaining for a long time, but now I'm finally leaving.

Slashdot is way too U.K.-centric. Where's my news about America (land of the free, home of the brave)? I'm sick and tired of all this "Metres this" and "Stones that" crap.

Give me American, or give me death!

I have to say it...

[Call Me Black Cloud]

I hate "mod parent up" posts but I'm in a self-loathing mood I guess. Mods, give the parent some love. It is the funniest post of the day...maybe even the week. No, even longer...it's the funniest post I've seen in a fortnight!

Re:Brittain

[Anonymous Coward]

The UK has the second largest online-population in the world (behind the US), it's only to be expected that the UK is going to have a big presence on any and all english-speaking websites.

(extra info)
I think Canada and Australia are continually moving between 3rd/4th.

Re:Brittain

[Zaiff Urgulbunger]

ahem... just the one "t". Okay?

Re:Brittain

[antic]

I don't know. Britain seems to be all about tea, and one is never enough.

Re:Brittain

[gosand]

Give me American, or give me death!

Usually, if you are a non-American, you get both.

Time?

[herrvinny]

Terrific, the 25th is only TOMORROW.

However, the British (at least Londoners) are less than three hours away from tomorrow. [timeanddate.com]

Damn.

[Azureflare]

I'm American. No chance for me.

I never could get the hang of Thursdays.

Re:Damn.

[TopShelf]

I for one, am sick of all these Anglo-centric /. stories. Come on, not everybody is a Brit around here!

Non-Brits, don't lose hope!

[Strange_Attractor]

In this thread [bbc.co.uk] on the article's BBC website, the Responsible Parties strongly hint that they're working on a similar contest open to all.

Bah humbug

[isorox]

Couldn't go for the firefly extra, so I get all geared up to win this competition, but I cant enter this either! No fair

Had a great idea for a photo too - an on time train! It's so rare that it's got to be worth saving :p

Damn...

[devphaeton]

oh and be British!

yet another reason to wish i were british.

Yanks need not apply...

[TiggertheMad]

*sigh* We saved them from the hun twice last century, and (possibly) once from the bolshevik hoards. We buy Harry Potter books by the shipload, and we put up with Hugh Grant's acting. Doesn't that cut us enough slack to get a shot at being vaporised by vogons?

What about 'Pigboy' from MOTU?

[iamcf13]

A kid won a contest sponsored by Mattel [mattel.com] and got a part in Masters Of The Universe (1987) [imdb.com]

He had NO lines.

If you blinked fast, you'd miss him when he appeared on screen.

Will this be the fate of the HHGTTG movie part winner?...

Most deserving place to be spared?

[EvilCowzGoMoo]

If any place deserves to be spared this [urinal.net] is it! Its *sniff* beautiful *sniff*

Certainly this should be spared ...

[Paul Lamere]

I don't live in the UK, so I can't enter, otherwise I'd submit this picture of the Douglas Adams Memorial [sun.com]

British

[punkin]

I used to work for a British company and I like Bubble and Squeak. Close enough?

If I was british

[fullmetal55]

I'd carve "Slartibartfast" into a glacier, pretend its Norway, and take a picture of it. afterall Slartibartfast won an award for Norway...

Just like the Vogons

[Tjp($)pjT]

They even tell you about their contest when precipitous doom or the end of the entry period is too close to do any thing about it.

You don't have to *be* British...

[Freddles]

....you just have to be a British resident.

Resident

[gwernol]

oh and be British

No, that's not true:

The competition is open to UK residents only, of 18 years or over. Overseas players are not eligible. You do not have to be a registered member of h2g2 to enter.

You have to be a resident of the UK. I'm British but not a UK resident, so I can't enter. A Frenchman (say) or an American who lived in London would be eligable. That's several million people who you've just misinformed...

If I were british...

[EvilTwinSkippy]

I'd be running over to the linen section of the department store and snapping shots of towels. Lot's of towels. On clearence!

Re:Be British?

[StateOfTheUnion]

Care to share which countries have the term "America" in the name? To the best of my knowledge, there is only one . . . when refering to countries, 'American' refers to the United States of America. If I were comparing continents, I would see your point . . . but I was comparing to British and the term 'Britain' or 'British' typically refers to the UK.

English grammar dictates parallel structure, if one compares, contrasts, or lists a country it is inferred that one is comparing, contrasting or listing that country to or with another country or countries (when the terms can be interpreted as a country or a continent).

Thus 'American' in the context that I used it refers to the citizens of the United States of America.

Don't believe me, check the dictionary [m-w.com]

Re:Suggested location to be saved

[B.D.Mills]

I'm sure we can think of a few.

send them a picture of somewhere on Earth that deserves to be spared from the Vogons

I will assume that Vogons will be doing the judging. (Given that the competition closes in about 24 hours, this is probably correct.) What appeals to Vogons? Administration. Bureaucratic red tape, sealing wax and paperwork. Ugly, drab functionality.

Therefore, I would send in a picture of an administration building on Earth that is the most ugly, greyest, most drab utilitarian administration building in existence, and that also generates great quantities of bureaucratic paper work for no good reason.

That would be worth preserving - to prove to the universe that the Vogons can be matched elsewhere in the galaxy for sheer bloodyminded bureaucracy.