Water Spectacular in Episode III? 441
An anonymous reader writes "From StarWars.com: 'With the prequel trilogy lacking in elaborate musical numbers, Aaron McBride and the rest of the Art Department were given the task to create visuals for a new spectacular in Episode III.' Lucas didn't piss off enough people with Jar-Jar?" The link is to an image of a Mon Calamari(?) woman in some sort of performance outfit. A water spectacular ala Esther Williams, perhaps?
Water spectacular?! (Score:5, Funny)
Obligatory (Score:5, Funny)
Ep 3 was suppose to be dark and gritty (Score:5, Funny)
It's like.. (Score:5, Funny)
Better obligatory (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Water spectacular?! (Score:5, Funny)
Fuck, I'm on slashdot. Sorry.
Imperial Skinny Dipping (Score:5, Funny)
Prior Art Ripoff (Score:3, Funny)
That is the most blatant example [ucsd.edu] of a prior art rip-off I have even seen...
Re:Mon Calamar (Score:5, Funny)
Even more frightening... (Score:4, Funny)
You want a spoiler... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Water spectacular?! (Score:5, Funny)
That suit's about as useful as. . . (Score:5, Funny)
KFG
Re:Water spectacular?! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Obligatory (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Proof (Score:1, Funny)
Porno Spectacular? (Score:5, Funny)
ummm... (Score:0, Funny)
Actually, (Score:2, Funny)
Re:That suit's about as useful as. . . (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Water spectacular?! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Fits With Classic Trilogy (Score:4, Funny)
But the most important question is...
Cocktail, Marinara, or Garlic sauce?
IT'S A TRAP!!!!!!!!
Re:Water spectacular?! (Score:3, Funny)
1) I get paid a lot,
2) I get to use a wet suit (customized, I guess), and
3) she doesn't sound like Ackbar.
OK I think I just outdid myself on that one. The thought of that last one alone is scaring me.
Re:Mon Calamar (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Ep 3 was suppose to be dark and gritty (Score:5, Funny)
I hope Lucas continues to screw with various Star Wars bits far into the future. Maybe redo all six episodes with some new technology and add/remove things. Maybe replace all the light sabers with walkie-talkies, ala Spielberg's ET. And if he does the next three movies, it'll give us another decade of pure enjoyment watching all these guys growing into their 50s, still bemoaning the more raping of their "childhood" by Lucas.
Pure gold. Pure frigging gold!
Re:No imagination (Score:5, Funny)
Bingo!
Don't you feel silly for typing all that?
It's a watery tart.... (Score:5, Funny)
Obligitory recent article catch-phrase (Score:2, Funny)
-----
I told you, darling... (Score:5, Funny)
no capes!
Say it isn't so... (Score:4, Funny)
Then he dug up the corpse and slapped it around a bit for Episode II.
Now it looks like he's preparing to dig it up once more to further defile its memory by fucking it right in the mouth with a god damned water sequence in Episode III.
Somebody should have taken his camera away after the first Ewok adventure was shot.
I mean, anybody could have made that mistake once... But *twice*?
There is no excuse.
Re:Ep 3 was suppose to be dark and gritty (Score:5, Funny)
1. Captain James T. Kirk
2. Scotty
3. Spock
4. Data (I relate to him the most as I really consider myself to be more a machine than a human)
5. Captain Jean-Luc Picard
6. Captain Katherine Janeway
7. Tuvok
If you model your life after any of these characters you will server yourself much better than if you try to become Anakin or Luke. Wake up people. Star Wars is a joke that only pathetic losers are into. Star Trek is for those of us who have grown up and have an open mind to reality instead of fiction.
For the love of god... (Score:3, Funny)
NOBODY LOOK! It's a trap!
Re:/geek (Score:2, Funny)
Re:That suit's about as useful as. . . (Score:3, Funny)
Spoken like somebody who obviously hasn't seen my Halloween pictures from last year!
Why is everyone so down on the new trilogy? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Mon Calamar (Score:5, Funny)
"Calamari" is Italian.
Proof yet again that Lucas is a pretentious know-nothing hack. "Mon Calamari," being a bastardization of both French and Italian isn't, even forgiving that, gramatically correct as it uses a singular possessive with a plural noun. Lucas, you ignorant slut...
Re:Prior Art Ripoff (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Stop all yer belly-ache'n (Score:3, Funny)
You mean Star Wars is the Microsoft Windows of Sci Fi?
Re:Obligatory (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Water spectacular?! (Score:5, Funny)
"Hey baby, show me why they call you a Deep One."
"You, me, and a shoggoth. Whaddya say?"
Re:No imagination (Score:5, Funny)
IGNORE ABOVE, prematurely posted (Score:5, Funny)
My squid,
Whom I did,
Not so groovy
Is your bad movie.
Sticky-floored prison,
My bile's risen.
Life's two hours less
In this cinematic mess.
Swim off the set
If the director will let.
Come to Sloppy
And you'll be happy.
A new role, you'd
Play in the nude,
Though budget's not high
You'll moan and sigh.
Your DVD will be
Released to all the
Perverts who enjoy
Tentacle porn toys.
Be remembered as a squid
In porn for a few quid.
That Innsmouth look
Is a good niche for a spook.
It will be so much better
Than Lucas' memory-shredder.
You'll be glad you did,
My squid.
Re:Mon Calamar (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Say it isn't so... (Score:3, Funny)
My dear, angry friend...
What I want/believe/etc. is irrelevant here.
Most junkies know that smack isn't good for 'em, and yet they continue to intravenously inject concoctions of questionable purity into their bodies, risking things like Parkinsonian conditions, sickness, and good old fashioned death all for the possibility of feeling That High again.
I know George Lucas isn't good for me, but I keep duping myself into believing that he's finally going to put something out that's as good as Episode V.
For the moment, I have myself convinced that Episode III is the "new" Star Wars that *isn't* going to be a CGI muppet musical, but that George is finally going to put some hair on Anakin's chest and stop all the crappy dialogue about whether or not the Galactic Trade Federation's checkbook is properly balanced.
No... Like a fly attracted to that strange, magnificent blue of the bug zapper, I will continue to hover, transfixed and drooling before whatever comes out of Skywalker Ranch.
Until the credits roll, of course, at which time I'll trash the movie and state in obnoxiously loud tones that it was the worst bit of digital drivel to have ever dribbled down the corpulent blood-stained cheeks of Hollywood.
Re:Obligatory (Score:3, Funny)
--
Evan "convinced my SO I thought they were pasta for about a month"
Re:Ep 3 was suppose to be dark and gritty (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Water spectacular?! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:smart move (Score:4, Funny)
> Piscene face, mammalian, uhhhh... mammaries.
"Oh, why couldn't she be the other kind of mermaid [tvtome.com]?! The kind with the fish part on top and the lady part on bottom!"
Re:It's a watery tart.... (Score:5, Funny)
(btw that was genius, I ready did LOL!)
That's my wife you insensitive clod! (Score:3, Funny)
Natalie Portman (Score:3, Funny)
Re:No imagination (Score:3, Funny)
For that matter, why are they humanoid.
Sexual attraction to the characters in the movie may increase the likelyhood they will be liked. Although Alf [wikipedia.org] may prove this to be untrue.
What if there were just giant planets inhabitted by slime-mold, or intelligent creatures that just didn't give a damn, and so they never developed useful society?
While it may possible that all *giant* planets have nothing other than slime-mold it does not eliminate all other forms of intelligent life.
It will be giant amoebas in polymer bags that prevent them from splashing apart in the low atmosphere of the earth.
You know what I think I am going to stop here. It has just occured to me that you are calling Hollwood's portrayal of outer space life silly while expecting us to accept your vision of intelligent slime-mold beatnick overlords who, despite their intelligence, want to do nothing but sit around all day and "just didn't give a damn."
Pass it to the left man.
Re:That suit's about as useful as. . . (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Water spectacular?! (Score:3, Funny)
Somewhere Dr. Zoidberg is salivating (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Water spectacular?! (Score:1, Funny)
You guys talking about the one about Nika Mamic? Loved it. People arguing about STDs and linking to stuff that "proved their point" but really didn't. I mean, it's one thing to not RTFA, but not RTF Thing You're Linking To?
The hell of it is, the parent poster's got it right - she was hotter before she got implants. A Google Image Search (safesearch off, natch) brings up a rather... er... more entertaining image set.:)
Re:Ep 3 was suppose to be dark and gritty (Score:5, Funny)
Lucas declares victory over Star Wars fans (Score:2, Funny)
Skywalker Ranch, California
The Star Wars fan community was stunned today by George Lucas' admission that the prequel trilogy is, in fact, an elaborate troll.
"It was a good troll, and I managed to keep it going a lot longer than I thought," said Lucas. "Between Jar-Jar and Jake Lloyd, no-one at LucasFilm thought I could pull it off at all. They thought it was too obvious." Lucas, however, had confidence. "I knew I could do anything I wanted so long as I threw enough lightsaber fights and space battles in there, he explained. "Rick Berman actually bet me that the theaters would be a ghost town when Episode II came out," Lucas continued. "I'm proud to say I won that bet, even after making the love scenes with Hayden and Natalie as awkward and interminable as possible. I was hoping to keep the gag going until after Revenge of the Sith premiered," he added, "but with the ending leaked on all the fan sites, that's just not possible."
The leaked video, which has appeared on several websites, depicts the character Jar-Jar Binks bent over in an obscene posture, accompanied by text reading "YHBT. YHL. HAND. |uc4s > j00." It is believed to be an homage to the infamous web site goatse.cx, which is frequently used by trolls to shock unsuspecting viewers. The text is shorthand for "You have been trolled. You have lost. Have a nice day. Lucas is greater than you," a common ending to a sucessful troll. There is also a rumored ballet number featuring the Star Wars kid.
Fan reaction to the news has been mixed. "I knew it," said Arthur Dent of London, England. "Ever since all those bloody ewoks in Return of the Jedi, I knew something wasn't quite right." Other fans are still clinging to denial: from his place in line at the Senator Theater, Scott Kennedy, 31, was quoted as saying "No! That's not true! That's impossible!" The announcement has also forced fans of other science fiction franchises to view their favorite shows with a more skeptical eye. "I'm wondering what [Rick] Berman's up to," said fan 3.14159265 of 9. "There's rumors that the next movie is called Star Trek: Wesley Crusher's Day Off."
And does Lucas have any last words for his fans?
"pWn3d."
Faux News: we make it up, you fall for it.
Real Ultimate Calamari! (Score:4, Funny)
Whoever told you that is a total liar. Like other mammals Calamari can either have breasts or be totally flat.
Facts:
(1) Calamari are mammals
(2) Calamari nurse their young ALL the time
(3) The purposes of Calamari are to flip out and warn "It's a trap!"