How to Become A Real-World Superhero 596
utherdoul writes "Batman isn't from outer space and wasn't born with a mutant gene --he uses his riches, raw determination and technological know-how to equip himself to fight evil. So why couldn't the average geek do the same? I've written a story for Forbes.com that breaks down the Dark Knight's expenses and explains what it would cost to become a real-world Batman using commercially available training and technology." From the article: "Batman's suit is a modified piece of infantry armor built by the applied sciences division of Wayne Enterprises. It's waterproof, bulletproof, knife-proof and temperature-regulating. Paired with an impact-resistant, graphite-composite cowl and spiked ninja-style gauntlets, it allows Batman to protect himself against everything from swords to machine guns."
Duh. (Score:5, Insightful)
> Batman isn't from outer space and wasn't born with a mutant gene --he uses his riches, raw determination and technological know-how to equip himself to fight evil. So why couldn't the average geek do the same?
Did you miss the part about riches?
Fscking Astroturf (Score:3, Insightful)
Schwab
Main Problem: (Score:5, Insightful)
Even if your suit will stop 99% of all bullets, and your fit enough to beat thugs people into submission 95% of the time....
Fucking Stupid Article. (Score:2, Insightful)
I started reading it this morning, and realized they were just tallying up stuff from the movie that just came out.
This is quite pathetic, but hey, it's Forbes.
Duh.
Oh, I love the truly stupid part about the "fictional forbes fifteen" list of the richest fictional retards.
Fuckabugaloo.
Ah yes, become a superhero! (Score:5, Insightful)
Until a man is twenty-five, he still thinks, every so often, that under the right circumstances he could be the baddest motherfucker in the world. If I moved to a martial-arts monastery in China and studied real hard for ten years. If my family was wiped out by Colombian drug dealers and I swore myself to revenge. If I got a fatal disease, had one year to live, and devoted it to wiping out street crime. If I just dropped out and devoted my life to being bad.
It's funny, because I used to think that exact thought. Then reality hit, and I realized I'm just a big pussy
What happened to the batman geek? (Score:5, Insightful)
I loved Batman Begins, but I really think they missed the mark when it comes to Batman's CSI savvy.
My head was spinning when Bruce Wayne says "Am I supposed to know what that means?"
So if you want to be a real Batman, figure in another several hundred thousand dollars for advanced degrees in science and criminology.
(Also... $30,000 + 3 years in China != the ability to fight like the movies, but only the keenly stupid would think otherwise, right?)
GOD DAMN IT (Score:3, Insightful)
I AM GETTING REAL FUCKING SICK OF THE FUCKING COMMERICALS ON SLASHDOT THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DISGUISED AS ARTICLES!! FIX THIS SHIT TACO YOUR SMARTER THEN THIS CRAP!
Irritating website (Score:4, Insightful)
Dumbest. Thing. Ever.
Re:Cut to the chase - $3.4 million (Score:2, Insightful)
Anyhow, fostering the presence of a superhero is not a very cost-effective way for a city to lower its overall crime figures. Legalized abortion costs the public virtually nothing and has a much greater effect on reducing crime than competing strategies such as incarceration or tax breaks to encourage millionaire superheroes to relocate.
Newton's laws don't apply (Score:3, Insightful)
If your average doughnut fattened geek would try it, he would be in for a rude awakening and would come down to earth rather quickly at 9.8m/s/s...
'Ninja style gauntlets' (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:...also... (Score:2, Insightful)
A better plan... (Score:5, Insightful)
Think about it, what are they paying contractors in Iraq to do protection and security jobs where they are getting hsot at constantly. So pay for them, and then the equipment to arm them, and you'd have a wrecking crew far superior to you on your own.
Figure $250K/vigilante/year for salary and benefits and you could hire 10 of these guys for $2.5 million. Then you'd have about $1 million/year to spend on equipment for them. Body armor, assault rifles, etc.
Then whenever you want justice to be done, you give them a call and they crack some skulls for you. If you want, you can even give them bat ears to put on their helmet so they can keep with the theme.
The best part is, you don't have to worry about getting bruised or scarred. You can go to your rich parties, party it up and know that you've kept the streets safe without personally lifting a finger.
Re:What? (Score:1, Insightful)
-An American
Armor ? (Score:4, Insightful)
The real Batman doesn't have, want or need armor. The real Batman (the one in the comic book) uses the arcane fighting techniques known as "dodging" and "hiding" and a psychological trick called "FUD" to protect himself.
The idea behind "hiding" is simple. It is based on never letting your foe to know that you're there, therefore not giving them a chance to strike back. It helps a lot to wear black and operate at night when it's dark - just like the Batman does.
The idea behind "dodging" is somewhat more complex, but not tremendously so. It is based on never occupying the same point in time-space as anything that might harm you. In practice, you observe your opponent, and when you see him aiming at you with a gun, you move away from the line of fire. Obviously, this becomes exponentially more difficult the more people you fight at once, so it is recommended that you use "hiding" to find lone targets.
The last tactic, "FUD", stands for "Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt". It's idea is to strike fear to the hearts of your opponents, so that they stop thinking clearly and start making stupid mistakes (such as spreading out, buying Windows, or paying SCO for Linux licenses).
Ironically enough, there was a pretender Batman in the comic books once - a guy the real Batman had appointed to stand in for him while he healed from wounds given to him by Bane. That pretender Batman wore armor, and went mad, and got soundly beaten by the real Batman.
The point of all this is that this particular article makes me less, not more, likely to see "Batman Begins". Dear advertiser, please make sure you understand what you are advertising before you design your advertisement. Batman is not Terminator or Robocop, he's closer to a ninja.
But then again, if they cast Batman as a martial arts expert, they'd need an actor who actually knows martial arts to make it look believable. Just compare Darth Maul to Count Dooku - which one has better fight scenes ?
Maybe whatever school actors go to should include martial arts lessons in its curriculum ? They might become handy even outside the movies, once the actor becomes famous and starts attracting mentally unbalanced fans.
Re:Ah yes, become a superhero! (Score:5, Insightful)
They might not be the baddest, but they could probably get close.
Really, the difference between Bruce Wane and the most of us with that dream is that he decided it was more important than anything and everything else in his life. His life is filled with exactly two things: maintaining his cover, and being Batman. Nothing else matters, and nothing else exists.
He never has time to watch a movie, or read a book. To try to meet a girl (outside of maintaining his cover, or another superhero). The company is run by others. He has no life.
You may admire the choice, but admit the cost. Maybe you could have made that choice, if you had really wanted to. But could you have paid the personal cost?
If you think it would be worth it, try it. A few have. They didn't start with the resources Bruce Wane did, but I've read articles about a few. (Sorry, can't find them at the moment.) People who dedicated themselves to being the best hero they can be.
Most are trying to figure out how to have a normal life, how to fit in to the world.
Re:Cut to the chase - $3.4 million (Score:1, Insightful)
Anyhow, fostering the presence of a superhero is not a very cost-effective way for a city to lower its overall crime figures.
If you've got dastardly supervillians who would otherwise regularly kill thousands it is.
Legalized abortion costs the public virtually nothing and has a much greater effect on reducing crime than competing strategies...
If you consider a human fetus to be worth only 1/100th of a fully-developed human being (an estimate considered too high by some and too low by most), the costs in human life FAR outweigh the benefits from reduction in homicides.
Ever since Freakonomics [amazon.com] came out, you ostensibly "pro-choice" people have been gleefully citing Levitt's results without bothering to take into consideration the lives of the unborn children. There is a place for debate on how many and what kinds of rights the unborn have, but each side steadfastly refuses to acknowledge it. (This is also why the debate on federally-funded stem-cell research is stalled.)
By the way, that 1/100th analysis is in Levitt's book, at the end of the chapter on crime. I didn't make it up.
(Go ahead mods, mod me down. You know you disagree with me. That's what moderation is all about, right?)
Re:What happened to the batman geek? (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:FTFA (Score:3, Insightful)
Granted, it wasn't live-action, but it was a theatrical release, and it came out between Batman Returns and Batman Forever. It uses the Animated Series/Gotham Knights/Justice League continuity and was done by the TAS team.
Frankly, I consider it better than the other live-action films, with the possible exception of the 1989 Batman.
Just my $.02...
riches wont do you any good (Score:4, Insightful)
There are no cartoonish supervillians. "Street crime" is usually taken care of by the police and is really none of your business. Imagine some moron busting the heads of the local pot dealer out of respect for "justice." If someone is really concerned about the safety of their streets and trains then they can always get a Guardian Angels' t-shirt and the little matching beret and play vigilante.
Big crime happens all the time by power structures like governments, organized religions, corporations, etc. The tools for fighting these nasties don't involve tights. They involve activism, raising awareness, getting others involved in politics, and other things that don't look real cool in graphic novels.
Not to mention if you had insane wealth, you're probably part of the problem. Check the holdings of some wealthy people, they sometimes fund some very shady companies or governments which do some fairly nasty things. Real world problems are rarely fixed with just a punch in the face and a snazzy batmobile.
I'm sure the editors of Forbes magazine have no problem with the worldview that if we just beat up some low level street criminals then everything would be fine.
Re:riches wont do you any good (Score:5, Insightful)
And just because something is illegal, doesn't mean it is "wrong" or deserves a head bashing...
Re:Cut to the chase - $3.4 million (Score:2, Insightful)
What's more, being a butler (butlering? butlerhood?) would not be an ideal career for most slashdotters. It takes way too much tact. For example: picture yourself working a tech support job. Imagine the calls for broken cup holders and missing "any" keys. Now consider that the caller is there in person, and the calls are for broken cups and missing car keys. He calls at 6:00 AM. He calls at lunch time. He calls when he wants a midnight snack. You can't hide; you live in his house. And he doesn't ever ask to speak to your supervisor; he is your supervisor. If you tell him to RTFM or that he has an ID ten T error, you will be held accountable.
Now here's the question. Which happens first, your firing or your arrest for assault with a deadly weapon?
Re:riches wont do you any good (Score:5, Insightful)
Not only is this bullshit, it is also the cause of much of the casual crime that goes on today. If you see an old lady being kicked on the ground by someone trying to rob her, that's everybodys business. Obviously, the police are not on the spot when crime happens. They just show up later to collect the bodies.
If, however, you prefer no one helps you when you get mugged, I guess I'll respect your wishes.
The rest of your "class warfare" rant is too foolish to bother responding to.
Re:riches wont do you any good (Score:5, Insightful)
Oh please, there's an obvious difference between being proactive and reactive. Most people engage in altruism everyday without body armor and a super cool secret identity. You're talking about reacting to something that happens to you; the comic-book superhero is the opposite: a vigilante that seeks out and prevents or thwarts trouble.
So what are you going to do to *prevent* this little old lady from being robbed? Profile certain people? Illegally spy on others? Knock a few heads around to get some information? A bit of street torture? Maybe a lynching to teach bad guys a lesson?
Wanna really help on the small scale? Become a cop.
>If, however, you prefer no one helps you when you get mugged, I guess I'll respect your wishes.
Sigh. Again, you're failing to understand the context of the grandparent post. Nice way to take things personally too.
Re:riches wont do you any good (Score:5, Insightful)
Just because Christians in ancient Rome wanted to worship Jesus didn't mean that it wasn't illegal.
Just because black people in 1860 wanted to be free didn't mean that helping escaped slaves wasn't illegal.
Just because women before the 1960s wanted to control their own bodies didn't mean that contraception and abortion weren't illegal.
Anyone who attempts to live by any reasonable code of ethics is going to find themselves quite often rooting for, actively assisting, or even becoming, "criminals".
Re:riches wont do you any good (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:riches wont do you any good (Score:5, Insightful)
Ok, so if someone on drugs puts someone in danger, just do the same thing we do to anyone else who puts someone in danger. The drugs are completely irrelevant.
Re:What? (Score:5, Insightful)
No, but Angle Grinder Man [bbc.co.uk] IS! And boy, does it take balls of steel to wear that outfit!
Re:Ah yes, become a superhero! (Score:1, Insightful)
So every normal day I'm just another guy on the street. It's only if you attack me or someone I care about (or have reason to help. Don't mug some old lady, for example...) that I become "the baddest motherfucker in the world."
I don't fight crime in general, vigilante justice itself is illegal.
Want to help the police? Make 'em cookies. It's easy and it raises their morale. Simple, and they work that much harder because of it. (Or they might just eat the cookies and forget about it, but at least you feel good about it.)
Re:riches wont do you any good (Score:2, Insightful)
Regards,
Steve
Re:riches wont do you any good (Score:4, Insightful)
So when the government makes immoral and unconstitutional laws, I'm supposed to follow them until my congresscritter gets around to reading my mail? It's only ok to help fugitive slaves escape if you write your legislators first? Pardon me, but I must disagree.
Yes, I've written a letters to my congresscritters over the years, and have donated money to NORML and the ACLU, and my vote is certainly influenced by candidates stances on the War on (some) Drugs and other abuses of state power. But it's pissing in the wind.
I never mentioned civil disobedience. I'm certainly not talking here about civil disobedience as a social movement as practiced by Ghandi and King. If the term "civil disobedience" applies at all, it is in the original sense as used by Thoreau [indiana.edu]:
But I'm not, a priori, limiting the options to civil disobedience; I'm willing to consider the use of justifiable defensive force against violent actions by agents of the state.
Re:riches wont do you any good (Score:3, Insightful)
The court case with the farmer who shot the burglars was because he basically shot them with a shotgun as they were running away.
Re:riches wont do you any good (Score:1, Insightful)
People who roam the streets looking for trouble will generally find it - whether or not it was there in the first place. At least with police officers they have a uniform and a badge and a set of processes you can use to complain about them if they stuff up.
Re:riches wont do you any good (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:riches wont do you any good (Score:2, Insightful)