Britain's First Jedi Member of Parliament

earthlingpink writes "In his maiden speech to the House of Commons, the Hon. Member for Copeland, Jamie Reed MP, announced that he is a Jedi: "as the first Jedi Member of this place, I look forward to the protection under the law that will be provided to me by the Bill" (the quotation is a fair way down the page; search for 'Jedi,' not surprisingly). How long before we have a Congressional equivalent?" Update: 06/29 23:15 GMT by T : Reader JE_Hoover adds a correction: "Although the previous MP for Copeland was the Hon. Member for Copeland, the current MP for Copeland is not a member of the privy council. Debretts make it all clear."

The Force is *retarded* with this one...

[TripMaster Monkey]

This whole Jedi religion [scaryplace.com] dreck has now officially gone too far. To those misguided simpletons out there who insist on calling themselves 'Jedi knights', I offer you this chance to prove yourselves:

• Just build a lightsaber. A real one. That's all.

What's that...you can't? Don't have suitable raw materials, you say?
OK...that's fair...how about this, then:

• Force choke me. From where you are right now. Go ahead...it's OK.

Are you doing it? I'm not feeling anything...

Scared

[islandrain]

Am I the only person who doesn't see the Jedi belief system flawed? I could only imagine the devestation to the republic if this became popular.

There is nothing to see here.

[dstewart]

This is not the article you are looking for.

Nothing for you to see here. Please move along.

[Silverlancer]

This is not the congressman you're looking for.

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one...

[Umbral Blot]

Did you misplace your sense of humor today? Did a jedi hit you as a kid?

Answer

[Spy der Mann]

How long before we have a Congressional equivalent?

Oh, but we have. Problem is... they're all Siths. And the greedy kind.

They get Jedi

[MECC]

"How long before we have a Congressional equivalent?"

They get Jedi, we get Sith...

Oy vey

[MAXOMENOS]

As if there wasn't enough lunacy in Parliament.

Does Darth Hillary count?

[ScentCone]

Or maybe Count Obama?

Somehow "Master Kennedy" just doesn't have the same ring to it. And "Darth Delay" is only slightly better than "General Grievous"

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one...

[eggz128]

Did a jedi hit you as a kid?

I think you mean "Youngling". :)

Re:Nothing for you to see here. Please move along.

[s20451]

At first I thought it was ridiculous to openly espouse a hokey religion invented by a science fiction hack. But then I realized, it sure helped this guy [imdb.com] ...

Insult!

[t'mbert]

This is an absolute insult to those of us who hold religious beliefs. Now the faiths of Christianity, Judaism and Muslimism are on par with something made up in a movie!

Too Much Competition Here...

[OmniGeek]

Clearly, the Congresscritters in the US will never go Jedi, as they're already devotees of the Book of Bokonon. This can be seen by their tendency to speak in foma, or as the rest of us call them, "reassuring lies." ;-)

Re:They Voted Him In

[ShelbyCobra]

This gives immense insight into the type of people that get voted into Parliment. The voters are either oblivious, don't care, don't know better or maybe they are also members of that movement.

Or perhaps they have a really twisted sense of humor...

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one...

[homerules]

Most Christians, if not all, do not believe they are Christ. On the other hand most Jedi think they are Luke Skywalker.

Re:Does Darth Hillary count?

[Ralph Wiggam]

I think Darth Frist and Lord Cheney sound good. Grand Moff Rumsfeld has a nice ring to it, too.

-B

Re:They get Jedi

[BiloxiGeek]

Please use a spell checker next time. I think what you meant to post was:

They get Jedi, we get Shit...

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one...

[lowe0]

I consider myself a level-headed individual who is above arguing the minutiae of a fictional universe.

But in this case: man, did you even SEE the movie?

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one...

[mbrewthx]

I find your lack of Faith disturbing!!!

Re:Yeah, but what kind of Jedi is he?

[techfury90]

Cast off your old name! Your Jedi name isIBEVI CRMAI of the planet imodium!
Sounds a bit constipated.

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one...

[TripMaster Monkey]

Hey! As a Discordian, I find that offensive.

Or mabye I dont.

Re:Insult!

[Narchie Troll]

+1 Funny, use of word "Muslimism"

Also: there's been a religion based on sci-fi books [scientology.org] for decades.

Re:They get Jedi

[IcyNeko]

Well, the Sith are there to confuse and mislead people, sometimes appearing as Jedi... So maybe our Jedi friend in parliament is really a Sith, and bush is... the master? Darth Stupidious?

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one...

[Master of Transhuman]

Riddle me this, Batman: What church claims to "transubstantiate" wine into blood and a wafer into flesh?

(Which, by the way, make these morons cannibals.)

Now take it down the road, moron.

STARWARS - Fact NOT Fiction

[Anonymous Coward]

STARWARS - Fact NOT Fiction [jahtruth.co.uk] (Episodes 4 to 6 inclusively)


George Lucas quite naturally believes that he wrote "Starwars", when, in reality, he was told telepathically what to write in the original first three Episodes (4-6), by the very "Force" to which the films refer, and was "forced" to make only episodes 4-6, first, as a very important step in the preparation of mankind for the long-awaited TRUTH, about the real reasons for human life on Earth ("what on earth am I doing here?"), the meaning of life and its purpose, contained in "The Way home or face The Fire", from which episodes 1-3 should have been made, as I did my best, frequently, to tell him....continued... [jahtruth.co.uk]

Re:Does Darth Hillary count?

[Anonymous Coward]

You forgot:
Lord Kennedy and his minnoin Darth Kerry

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one...

[jceaser]

Maybe he failed the admission exam.

Re:Does Darth Hillary count?

[Anonymous Coward]

Darth Bush sound right to me...

Jesus Heals

[Anonymous Coward]

I've seen miracles performed in the name of Jesus that are far more impressive than water into wine.

For example the healing of severe burns, where the skin had turned black and begun to flake off, the affected hand was made as good as new as we watched.

I know it wasn't a trick because it was my hand that was burnt in an industrial accident and it was healed because the woman who is now my wife (who was there) prayed for healing in the name of Jesus. Had she not had the courage to pray and ignore the heckling of by standards I would haver had permanent and disfiguring damage.

Re:They get Jedi

[IcyNeko]

Easily influenced by the powers of the farce, eh? Force Coke Spit!

Re:Oy vey

[mbrewthx]

A strange green man lying in a swamp handing out Lightsabers is no basis for a system of Government.
Help!!Help!!! I'm being opressed..

Re:They get Jedi

[Lumpy]

If we have sith, then why is our president JarJar binks?

Waddayathink....

[howardcohen]

...you're doing waving your hand around like that?

I'm a Congressman. Mind tricks don't work on me. Only money.

Re:Answer

[shut_up_man]

So... the greedy kind of Sith, eh? As opposed to the kind, gentle, happy Sith who does charity work on the weekends and pats kittens?

But what of Middle earth??

[IcyNeko]

With all these people going Jedi on us, I'm wondering how many people check their roots and realize that it is not the Jedi that they are, but Numenorians??! Why do people give up on teh Valar so easily?

Gungan

[lupinstel]

I think most of our Congress in Gungan actually.

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one...

[Anonymous Coward]

I don't know. Scientology is extremely well written. Long long time ago, space ships, nukes, zombie souls.

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one...

[Craig_P92669]

there are a lot less rational things than Christianity.

Like Republicanism?



We could get Tim Kazurinsky to chime in, "People who don't care practice "I-don't-give-a-shit-ism." Might be too obscure a reference for /. though.

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one...

[dr_dank]

The jedi religion is just as real as any other, IMO, except perhaps better written.

Screw that quaint old religion. I'd rather be celebrating Life Day with Art Carney, Bea Arthur, and the music of Jefferson Starship!

Jedi is another way to say Virgin.

[infonography]

Lucky for him, there are no active volcanos in the British Isles.

Re:There is nothing to see here.

[kisielk]

Hopefully she doesn't read slashdot as much as you, otherwise it will no longer be much of a surprise ;)

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one...

[j0e_average]

Ahh, but you use a slashdot-jedi-mindtrick...

By stating that your troll will be modded as such, you invoke the midichlorians to provide protection to your post. You're guaranteed a +5 interesting/insightful for sure!

Cast the first stone, he who is without sin -- Master Jedi Jesus

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one...

[Sir_Eptishous]

A festivus for the rest of us.

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one...

[niew]

Also, watch this post be modded down promptly as a troll, which should tell you something of the power of long entrenched religions.

...Mod me down and I shall become more powerfull than you could ever imagine...

Fear leads to anger.... Anger leads to hate...

[abb3w]

Am I the only person who doesn't see the Jedi belief system flawed?

And [islamworld.net] this [vatican.va] from [jewfaq.org] other [hindu.org] belief [ology.org] systems [elca.org] differs... [sbc.net] how [subgenius.com]?

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one...

[AndersOSU]

I think its a toss up

So Christ didn't believe in himself?

[FirstNoel]

Sounds like he needed therapy.

Re:What about Scientology?

[Le Marteau]

L Ron Hubbard didn't wait thousands of

What kind of parent names her child 'L'. No wonder he came up with all those whacky ideas later in life.

Actually, I always thought his name was "Elron"

Re:Insult!

[AuMatar]

All of which qualified for Darwin Awards.

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one...

[Spock the Baptist]

No the real Force is with you if you are accelerating, or decelerating.

My the second derivative of your momentum with respect to time be with you.

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one...

[jdbo]

And WTF is inherently moronic (let along immoral) with cannibalism, so long as its conducted between mutually consenting adults?

Nothing, says I!

And my army of the undead agree with me, too!

So don't be a bigot about something that's so clearly a matter of taste.... tasty... human... flesh... mmmmm....

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one...

[whitehatlurker]

Well, as long as they're not claiming to be Yoda, there's hope

Correct you are. Yoda, there only one of is. And here among you appeared he has. Strong am I with the Force.

(Better would it work, if more like Kermit the Frog sounded I.)

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one...

[Anonymous Custard]

>> The jedi religion is just as real as any other, IMO, except perhaps better written.

>As well written as the romantic dialogue in Episodes 1,2,3? :)

Better written than the romance in the book of Genesis [biblegateway.com]...

2Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created.
3And Adam lived an hundred and thirty years, and begat a son in his own likeness, and after his image; and called his name Seth:
4And the days of Adam after he had begotten Seth were eight hundred years: and he begat sons and daughters:
5And all the days that Adam lived were nine hundred and thirty years: and he died.
6And Seth lived an hundred and five years, and begat Enos:
...

30And Lamech lived after he begat Noah five hundred ninety and five years, and begat sons and daughters:
31And all the days of Lamech were seven hundred seventy and seven years: and he died.
32And Noah was five hundred years old: and Noah begat Shem, Ham, and Japheth.

All that begatting and not one scene of what causes the begatting!

Re:So was Jesus.

[Anonymous Coward]

*whoosh*

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one...

[iamwahoo2]

And if the Star Wars movies are true, then so is the Jedi Religion.

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one...

[Spock the Baptist]

There are some...

That would gladly embrace Hamill's hair style, if only we had hair...

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one...

[Parham]

There's no such thing as "the force", but I'm still a firm believer in gravity as "a force"... does that count?

Re:A little context

[Reverend528]

This, the Blairites say, means that people can hurl racial abuse at Muslims with impunity. This is obviously bollocks, of course, since this would count as racial hatred anyway

What about white muslims? I can still make fun of Cat Stevens, right?

Re:A Jedi once bit his sister...

[techwolf]

I would love to see a Star Wars fan movie as a parody of the Holy Grail. Making that is about as close as you can get to being the ultimate geek. Well, I guess you could throw the number 42 in at every possible opportunity but I digress..

Re:What about Scientology?

[Le Marteau]

I think his name was "LaFayette", which explains why he went by "Ron".

Ah. I see. For a second, I thought his mom gave him a weird name.

Re:What about Scientology?

[Anonymous Coward]

Actually, I always thought his name was "Elron"

You're missing a 'd'. It should be: ...I always thought his name was "Elrond"

Re:There is nothing to see here.

[Ill_Omen]

I feel sorry for the women who do regularly read Slashdot but don't know their boyfriends' Slashdot IDs, who are sitting at work wondering when the flowers are arriving.

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one...

[theshowmecanuck]

And when you think it's old and dried out, someone will start burning things with it.

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one...

[ocelotbob]

I was told that duct tape was the force that bound the galaxy together, not gravity. Have I been lied to all this time?

Re:Also...

[Martin Blank]

"Turn around... Turn-- Turn around..."

"Behold! I have created food!"

Re:Jedi is another way to say Virgin.

[poopdeville]

...

Is that an offer?

Re:The Force is *retarded* with this one...

[Anonymous Coward]

Did he have a moustache and goatee?

Re:Oy vey

[Xyrus]

Look, if I went around saying a little green leperchaun taught me how to lift rocks with my mind they'd put me away!

~X~

Re:Incorrect

[macshit]

Good thing too, it'd be pretty damn gross if you were chowing down on your wafer and it suddenly turned into a warm rubbery little disc of human flesh.

Re:Studying the Jedi. . .

[boots@work]

5. Do not allow attachments into your life.

That can be fairly easily done with a Postfix header check (see other story [slashdot.org]) or MimeDefang [mimedefang.org].