How About a Nice Game of Global Thermonuclear War?

Loconut1389 writes "According to the Washington Post, the Pentagon has a revised doctrine to be signed in the next few weeks would give the president the authority for a preemptive nuclear strike. I would hope that this is a move designed to say we mean business and then never use it, but the means is there for mutual assured destruction."

Doesn't anybody remember the W.O.P.R.

[Loconut1389]

My original submission was early this morning and also had a few extras like "Doesnt anybody remember the W.O.P.R. [imdb.com]?

But Mom

[OneArmedMan]

I dont want to glow in the dark...

hmm, mutually assured destruction...

[bechthros]

...rapture anybody?

So we could have avoided...

[e4g4]

....this whole Iraq mess in the first place by nuking them all? After all they "did" have weapons of mass destruction and intended to use them, right?

I believe you meant...

[bluesoul88]

A preemptive nukular strike, sir.

It's OK...

[MBCook]

As long as no [cia.gov] other [cia.gov] country [cia.gov] builds an automatic retaliation system without telling us. I wonder where that idea [imdb.com] would come from?

Re:Bad idea

[Anonymous Coward]

you know, I think I saw some shifty looking Arab type (they all look the same, and are evildoers, arent they?) hanging around Crawford and Cheney's new multi-million dollar house. I recommend we pre-emptively nuke those two sites, just in case. I think I even saw some WMD around there! I have satellitely photos proving all this!

Republican obsession with the Nuclear Option

[NetSettler]

Is this really necessary? Can't we just threaten to place our enemies under the protection of FEMA? That seems to achieve the mass casualty effect just fine, and yet the environmental mess it creates will only take a few decades to clear...

Re:hmm, mutually assured destruction...

[failure-man]

Probably. It's never a good idea to give people who think the end of the world would be a good thing the means to end the world.

We all very well may die because a fucking cult wants to bring about the events in their "revalations." AN ACID TRIP IN A BOOK FULL OF FAIRY TALES.

Although, if we go like that then our extinction may well be for the best . . . . .

Re:_Great_ analogy

[Anonymous Coward]

If ... evil men want to kill Johnny and his family and destroy his country and his way of life

You believe in fairy tales don't you?

Not exactly...

[Xerxus]

It was a project funded by DARPA. These "shells" are fired from a mobile walking tank's rail guns. Theoretically, it could fire a nuke that is untracable and therefore cannot be stopped.

Summary : Metal Gear?!?

Stump him with Tic Tac Toe

[Goalie_Ca]

May we can stump bush with Tic Tac Toe. He'll realize he can never win!

Dead Zone

[SsShane]

Greg Stillson?

Re:Times have changed

[Anonymous Coward]

As a person living in the rest of the world, I'd like to give you a giant "Fuck You".
Just because two countries have a hissy-fit over who has the biggest penis, the rest of us get nuclear winter and radioactive fallout.

Thanks idiots!

Re:_Great_ analogy

[eno2001]

Whereas Muslim terrorists want to keep their women in the home covered from head to toe and pregnant, neocons want to keep their women in the home BAREFOOT and pregnant.

So... Muslims Neocons have a foot fetish? That explains a LOT. ;P

Re:Hmmm

[rlp]

Slashdot has migrated from tech news to "Tech News and Anything We Can Bitch At Bush Over"

Next topic - Is George Bush adversely affecting the frame rate of graphics card?

Re:Pre-emptive strikes...

[Jim_Callahan]

This word "pre-emptive"... I do not think it means what you think it means.

Re:Once upon a time...

[Citizen of Earth]

I have heard rumors that authority to use atomic shells was (to be) vested in field commanders, possibly as low as the regiment level.

I think the lowest level for authorizing nuclear attacks should be Air Force Colonels, provided that their bodily fluids are pure.

Re:Preemptive Impeachment

[SQL Error]

We had that opportunity? November 2004, you say? Oops.

Well, if your party had nominated someone with more brains or charisma than a cabbage, you might have succeeded.

Re:Uh?

[Concerned Onlooker]

Thinking instead of mindlessly repeating the garbage that some anti-war hippy is telling you might be smart.

Gentlemen, gentlemen! You can't fight in here! This is the war room!

Re:Mutual?

[VATechTigger]

"instead it leased 58 missiles from the United States"

So if it launches them and they go over 12,00 miles to their target, do we get $0.15 each additional mile plus damages

Don't worry, they got him on the fine print

[Phat_Tony]

Shhh... don't tell Bush, but there's nothing for us to fear.

The Pentagon only gave gave him exactly what he asked for: the capability to order a "nucular" first strike.

Re:_Great_ analogy

[Anonymous Coward]

and you're not?

Re:Bad idea

[Rayonic]

"Ya see, we've got this big behemoth that is trying to tell us what to do, and they've recently shown that they aren't afraid to invade other countries, and they've made it abundantly clear that they consider us part of their "axis of evil," right there in the same category as the other countries they have invaded. They're totally fucking crazy, you know - they're the only country to have ever used a nuclear weapon on another country, and they've done it twice. Now they're posturing against us, pointing their nukes around the planet willy-nilly, and we've gotta defend ourselves. Now, we all know the concept of mutually assured destruction - it would be insane to attack a nuclear power using nuclear weapons, because nobody can win. They have nukes. We don't. They're pointing their nukes at us. We better hurry."

Because, you know, none of these countries have ever supported terrorism or sought nuclear weapons before Gulf War II....

Re:History

[Kelson]

Hell, Washington had this power, he just didn't have any nukes.

Re:Uh?

[Anonymous Coward]

"Knowing how to spell would be handy too!"

Jacer, I'm no scientist but according to my calculations you've just been PWNED!!!@

Re:Bad idea

[arodland]

What did Florida State University do to anyone?

Re:No...

[spudgun]

At some point, what heavy-handed tactics achieve is that the countries instead are controlled by the extremists.

Don't let GWB hear you calling him that, oh you ment... nevermind.....

Re:Doesn't anybody remember the W.O.P.R.

[entrylevel]

Are you saying they set us up the bomb?

Re:Doesn't anybody remember the W.O.P.R.

[cloudmaster]

I'm inclined to believe that This one [imdb.com] is more likely.

I'm NOT sorry, and this has to be said.

[jgardn]

"the USA, that is the people, need a wake up message, perhaps a wake up message in the form of your entire congress including the president chimp being nuked."

You just threatened our country. Expect to be visited by our military soon. I suggest you kneel on the floor, place your weapon in front of you, and put your hands in the air. I also suggest staying as far away from military hardware as possible.

If you don't speak English as you native language, the key phrase is, "I Surrender! Don't shoot!"

Thanks and have a nice day.

And we have already had a wake-up call, thank you very much. The wake up call said, as it said to every world power since the beginning of the world, "If you plan on keeping your position of power, you have to take any and all threats seriously, even if it's coming from backwards barbarians who don't even know how to properly bathe."

It sounds like it's time the rest of the world had a wake-up call. It goes like this: "You are either with us or against us." That is all.