Blizzard Made Me Change My Name 1691
First of all, the reason that my account is in violation is that my name contains a title prefix. It took dozens of inquiries to get that explained. 'Cmdr' is the problem. I'm told that since the game has an internal honor system with titles, my name is not allowed. Never mind the fact that 'Cmdr' is not one of their titles. Never mind that countless other titles abound in the game: Mr, Sir, Sensei. Am I in violation of their policy? Probably. Is the policy stupid, meaningless, or inconsistent? I think so, but that's not really why I'm writing this.
I've been using 'CmdrTaco' online for around a decade now. It predates the existence of this website. It has followed me from game to game, both local, networked, and massive. My only problem with it is that as Slashdot grew in popularity, I started finding places where an impostor has taken it. I was excited when I was able to get it in Warcraft. It's like a warm blanket. It's stupid I know, but it's mine.
But Blizzard chose to take it from me. Now let me be clear: this is certainly their right: They own the dice and the board and the rulebooks, and I only play in their world. But If the US Government told me to change my name... let's say Congress passed a law making it illegal to have a first name that is a verb (Don't laugh, the White House cease and desisted The Onion!) Well I guess 'Rob' would have to go. My friends would still recognize me: I'd still have the same face, address, and social security number. I'd just have a cool new name like "Captain Fantastic Malda". With a name like that, the auto mechanics would never try to rip me off!
In this virtual world, two levels gives me a couple new pieces of armor, and suddenly I am unrecognizable to anyone who may have run an instance with me. In guild chat, I am a total stranger to people I may have chatted with for months. My history with other players has been erased. It almost makes me wish that I spent my first 45 levels ninja looting!
It's not like Blizzard decided to change gameplay dynamics. I spend a lot of time working on the Slashdot moderation system, and I never have any problem changing any "Rule" in the system if I believe it will improve the overall functionality of the whole system. If blizzard wants to make my mace have 5 less DPS and 3 less stamina because it's unbalanced, well I can accept that. Balancing gameplay is really hard. But in a massive multiplayer game, your name is different- that isn't about balance, it's about identity.
A friend of mine actually quit Everquest over a forced name change. His name was Marilyn Hanson and while fighting something he was disconnected without warning. When he returned, his name had been changed to a randomly generated one. When he asked GM, he was told that he could not have celebrity name. When my friend asked who Marilyn Hanson was, the GM could not answer, but instead just said arguing wouldn't matter. My friend quit EQ that day.
I don't think I'll quit WoW over this, but I will take away some lessons. The GM I talked to had a nickname of something like Lathanian. I found this disconcerting. If you were arrested by Officer Snuggles or found guilty by the honorable Judge Lawtron, it's hard to take that seriously. In this case 'Punishment' is being dealt. A real human is wearing a shroud of anonymity and handing out the bitchslap to a total stranger. That really makes the whole experience even more dehumanizing. In a massive virtual world, we're still people.
You don't see names and faces, which is why you'll see a 60 corpse camp a 30. When you don't see the real person on the other side, the tendency is just to forget. You expect it from opposing factions- but it feels different when it's the GM. Personally this is something I struggle with in my work too. You deal with a hundred support requests and it starts becoming abstract. Unreal. Virtual. I doubt it's much different if you work at the support counter at a retail store, but I think it's easier to forget when the only communication is chat.
Second, the GMs at blizzard really have no power. I asked for contact information. For email information. For names. For an appeal. To talk to a supervisor. And the best they would give me was the generic help phone line or a mailing address. Like with a stamp! I was told that almost every question I asked was unanswerable in game. I gave an email address but they never emailed. They wouldn't even tell me what was wrong with my nickname until after a half dozen inquiries of why. You have really no recourse against a GM. That scares me.
Lastly, I didn't really realize that I was so attached to my nickname. It's not because I'm "Famous"- We have a lot of readers, but these days very few actually know who I am. And of those, the percentage of people who play warcraft, and are alliance, and on azgalor... well it is very tiny. As CmdrTaco I probably had a total of 5 people actually recognize my nickname (and nobody ever gave me gold because they read Slashdot!). As Violated, nobody ever will recognize me for my day job. But that's really not what bugs me. I was really attached to my name. This character bounded through Azgalor slaying monsters and meeting new people. Now that character is erased and another character stands in its place. Same armor. Same class. But different somehow. I like my nickname. I wish I had it on every system I used. I'm annoyed that someone else registered my nickname on gmail before I could. It's always the first name I try when a system asks me to create an account. I feel strangely possessive about it. I doubt I'm alone in being attached to a pseudonym. And I feel kind of stupid admitting it.
Anyway, I've said my piece on the subject. And just to be clear, I'm not really mad at Blizzard. I think what they did was needless and inconvenient, but not evil. Their policy may be silly, but I still was in violation of it, so I guess I got what I deserved. But I wonder about others. And not just in Warcraft, on any online forum. I wonder about our attachment to virtual names. And if nothing less, it will make me take changes in Slashdot a little more seriously next time.
Taco? (Score:5, Funny)
Who are you, and what have you done with the real Taco?
Re:Taco? (Score:5, Funny)
bitchslap (Score:5, Funny)
When did the topic become the moderation system?
I think I speak for all Horde when I say... (Score:5, Funny)
come on man (Score:3, Funny)
It's 11am on a Wed. (Score:5, Funny)
Everquest namechange (Score:5, Funny)
To the article submitter (Score:5, Funny)
Irony (Score:2, Funny)
The blatant lack of spelling and grammatical errors in this post can only lead me to the conclusion that this story was posted using CmdrTaco's stolen identity. I beseech you to end your ironic postings with his account.
Thank you.
Lol (Score:5, Funny)
At least it wasn't this one (Score:4, Funny)
It'll be a sad day when CmdrTaco is a celebrity name.
Re:Taco? (Score:5, Funny)
Yeah, this new style makes me feel... Violated.
Re:abuse of power (Score:5, Funny)
Re:The Real Reason (Score:5, Funny)
Which, of course, never leads to embarassing and uncomfortable remarks.
Re:abuse of power (Score:3, Funny)
--
Evan
Re:Taco? (Score:0, Funny)
My name... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:abuse of power (Score:5, Funny)
True that. This [slashdot.org] is one of my favorite entries.
Re:The Real Reason (Score:3, Funny)
Private Failure
Major Failure
General Failure
Mwuahaha...
Although this kinda reminds me of a certain sketch [wikiquote.org] in the movie Spaceballs
Re:The Real Reason (Score:3, Funny)
Re:abuse of power (Score:2, Funny)
Nonetheless, was this the place to post about it? You know what Slashdot's capable of. Hundreds of thousands of posters, countless lurkers, and even a small percentage taking it upon themselves to avenge a perceived wrong can cause havoc. Remember what happened to Alan Ralsky?
I strongly suspect Blizzard might be about to get some undeserved grief from the Slashdot Horde now. Not your intent, perhaps, to use Slashdot as a lever against them, but this is a very probable and predictable consequence. So: was this the place? Shouldn't this have gone on a personal blog, rather than the Slashdot front page?
This thing's a monster and you're Frankenstein. Careful whose village you point it at.
Re:My name... (Score:5, Funny)
Shouldn't that be... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:The Real Reason (Score:3, Funny)
Re:agreed. (Score:2, Funny)
This doesn't bother me so much . . . (Score:3, Funny)
Re:abuse of power (Score:3, Funny)
Phbhbhbht!!! I'm still trying to figure out when it stopped.
I guess I'm silly (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I am not the President of Cuba (Score:2, Funny)
Yes, but did you get any questions about your rodent rights record?
Re:Taco? (Score:5, Funny)
light bulb flashes
The GM slowly gets this warm fuzzy feeling inside, an opportunity for sweet revenge. A chance to hit CmdrTaco where he lives, by stripping him of his name, and he can do it arbitrarily and anonymously and CmdrTaco can't do anything about it and Rob will beat his head against an anonymous wall just like Slashdot users do. How sweet it is.
This anonymous GM just read Slashdot this morning and saw Rob's rambling screed and he laughed all the way the way through. He obviously nailed Rob where it hurts and its totally eating him up inside. There is just some total karmic justice here.
Revenge, a dish best served cold.
my theory (Score:3, Funny)
Re:The Real Reason (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Taco? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:bitchslap (Score:5, Funny)
Re:The Real Reason (Score:4, Funny)
Re:The Real Reason (Score:4, Funny)
Re:The Real Reason (Score:2, Funny)
They temporarily assigned her the title of "Fireman" in spite of her rate. Good order and discipline and all that
Re:abuse of power (Score:5, Funny)
Re:front page of course... (Score:2, Funny)
You know, Slashdot doesn't evolve, it's all Intelligent Design.
Re:Taco? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:abuse of power (Score:5, Funny)
Subtlety? You must be new here...
Re:bitchslap (Score:5, Funny)
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Re:My name... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:sucks (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Taco? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Taco? (Score:5, Funny)
For what it's worth, the guy has a blog. It's name is Slashdot, and you just posted to it.
Oh, and, to stay in tune with your tone and quality of argument, if you stupid fucker hadn't an IQ somewhere between a dim lightbulb and two slices of white bread, you'd already noticed that.
Naah, it's safe (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Open source alternative? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:abuse of power (Score:2, Funny)
Re:The Real Reason (Score:2, Funny)
Re:The Real Reason (Score:2, Funny)
fantasy scenario (Score:5, Funny)
Disgruntled-looking plainclothes GM, his hair ragged, storms into the office of the Blizzard CEO.
"Sir!" he pants, "We've got a problem on US Nathrezim. A bug is preventing an alliance guild from running Molten Core! They've got 40 living, breathing people with families and jobs who've set aside an entire day to get leet loot, and they've been bamboozled!"
"Great scot!" cries the CEO. "Did you reset their raid IDs? Talk to the server admins? The programmers? Metzen?"
"No sir! According to the GM Code, Article 3, Section 6, I am not allowed to do anything useful whatsoever, anything which may be construed as a favor, renumeration, or a meaningful and intelligent action!"
"You snivling little shit! Do you know what this means? I'm going to be up all night making phone calls to those people, apologizing and begging their forgiveness. These wounds don't just heal by themselves. We've gotta do something now, before this situation gets out of control."
"But sir! The code!"
"Damn the code! You mention that pile of marketing bullshit to me one more time and I'll have you flaggelating yourself with a rusty scourge til next month -"
"- I thought that was just a rumor -"
"- with no overtime pay! Now, go down there and grab the lead programmer by the scruff of his neck and tell him he's got to fix this pronto. In the mean time, get your ass out to GM Isle and start farming epics for these guys. Anything they want. [Perdition's Blade] or [Eschander's Right Claw]. Hell, give the main tank the full Wrath set. You don't go home until they have everything they want."
"Sir! Yes, sir!"
"And if I ever hear some shit on the slashdot forums about you not responding like a human being again, I'll bust your ass down to QA monkey for Ghost so fast your thumbs will fall off! In fact, you should consider every day I don't an example of my generousity and mercy. Aren't I generous and merciful?"
"Sir! Extremely, sir!"
"Now, get moving, GM!"
Re:Taco? (Score:2, Funny)
Revenge is nice and all, but how would Taco have felt if he contacted the GM and was answered by....Anonymous Coward.
Oh yeah, the revenge is sweet indeed
Re:Taco? (Score:5, Funny)
With kudos to Gary Larson (Score:5, Funny)
What Taco says:
What Blizzard hears:
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH I don't think I'll quit WoW over this BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
Re:Blizzard censors their own forums (Score:3, Funny)
As far as censorship goes, I've seen plenty of posts extremely critical of Blizzard stay up on the top forum page, unlocked, for a very long time. Typically when a post is locked, it is because its extremely vitriolic and contains little to no constructive criticism.
Re:Taco? (Score:5, Funny)
I hope you enjoy posting at (Score:-1, pissed off CmdrTaco)
Re:Taco? (Score:3, Funny)
For some reason this whole topic reminds me of the Coalition to Liberate Itenerate Treedwellers, and Liberate Apes Before Imprisoning Apes. I know there's a joke in there somewhere... come on think, think.
Re:My name... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Taco? (Score:4, Funny)
That dude's a n00b. He joined, what, a whole three weeks after me?
LK
Re:My name... (Score:3, Funny)
This story's a ploy! (Score:5, Funny)
Since Bliz made him change his nick he wanted to make damn sure that everyone on his server knew his new name was VIOLATED.
Now he can continue to reap the in-game fruits of his fame. ;-)
Re:Just the facts, man (Score:5, Funny)
Re:abuse of power (Score:5, Funny)
You must be new here. You cannot post in the same discussion you are commenting in.
Re:There's a lot in a name. (Score:5, Funny)
Sadly, After you get hit by lightning, you'll change your name to Johnny5.
Re:Taco? (Score:3, Funny)
Submitter obviously new around here... (Score:1, Funny)
Seems like a lesson well learned (Score:3, Funny)
Re:abuse of power - picking stories (Score:2, Funny)
Sorry, bad dupe joke there. Or you could read Fark.com.. er nevermind.
Re:Shut The Fuck Up (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Taco? (Score:5, Funny)
Actually it's more like: you're up at bat, and the pitcher keeps throwing pitches, sometimes you swing, sometimes you don't, but the umpire refuses to call it until it's dark and the park is empty and the players are like "who gives a shit".
No, actually it's more like: You're the pitcher and you get through seven innings with nobody knowing that the spikes on your shoes are in violation - then they finally catch you and make you change your shoes, and you complain "These shoes are comfortable and worn it, and I need my shoe money WOOT."
Actually it's nothing like baseball at all, when I think about it.
Re:Taco? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Taco? (Score:2, Funny)
Kids Today! (Score:3, Funny)
You're right there Obediah.
Who'd a thought thirty years ago we'd all be sittin' here bitching on slashdot?
Aye. In them days, we'd a' been glad to have the price of a good compiler.
A command line based compiler.
Without an IDE or APIs.
Or a compiler!
On a filthy cracked C64.
We never used to have a computer. We used to have to code on punched hole cards.
The best WE could manage was to beg for compilation time on the mainframe at night!
But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were poor.
Aye. BECAUSE we were poor. My old Dad used to say to me, "Money doesn't buy you happiness."
Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day on OSS, and pay Linus for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad would kill us, and dance about on our graves singing "Hallelujah."
But you try and tell the young people today that... and they won't believe ya'.
Note to Blizzard GMs (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Taco? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Taco? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:My name... (Score:5, Funny)
C'mon, thats a bit of a stretch....
Re:Taco? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Taco? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Taco? (Score:4, Funny)
Calm down. (Score:5, Funny)
Don't make me stop the car, kids.
Re:Taco? (Score:3, Funny)
Right on the tip of your tongue, is it?
Re:Taco? (Score:5, Funny)
Or, you might say:
Re:Taco? (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Taco? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Taco? (Score:3, Funny)
When I got my first "First Post" and later my first (Score:5) post I was so excited I jumped up from my desk and ran around the office.
LK
You should named named him Bearded Taco (Score:1, Funny)
Re:bitchslap (Score:2, Funny)
adj.
1. Resembling the qualities of a Toyota, but only on the surface.
Re:Taco? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Calm down. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Just the facts, man (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Just the facts, man (Score:1, Funny)
What happened to the lameness filter there?
Grandparent: Lucky for you there was no lameness filter when you posted the article!
Oh, shit, GP is the big cheese, isn't he?
He's reading this, isn't he?
He can see who I really am, even as AC, can't he?
I'm sorry Rob - I didn't mean it%#)!*&$@(*#&(#@&*(!@# NO CARRIER
Name Suggestions (Score:3, Funny)
Sir CmdrTaco
Mr CmdrTaco
Violated CmdrTaco