Superman V: The Sordid Story

ThePuceGuardian writes "With Superman Returning from development hell next summer, perhaps Slashdot's readership would appreciate this summary of the 10+ years spent in development, and the sequel that never quite was. Years of stupidity and outright seething contempt for the fans who were expected to shell out for the franchise are detailed, from the Kevin Smith era, through Tim Burton and including 'McG's short but not short enough association with the project. The summary ends in mid-2004, which is about a decade after the whole sordid affair should have been capped off, and right before the current production started up.I just have to include this quote: "Michael Bay was offered to direct the film again, but he felt the script violated the essence of Superman and refused the offer." WhenMichael Bay declines your project for reasons of artistic integrity, I think it's time to consider a new line of work.."

How old?

[sqeaky]

If superman returns he had better do it with a crutch and dentures. He should also be the strongest guy at his retirement home :)

"the script violated the essence of Superman"

[prsce96]

Did the script use Kryptonite for that?

Re:So?

[Voltageaav]

I have no idea what you're talkin...Hey, look! Shiney!!!!

Michael Bay turned it down? TWICE?

[TPJ-Basin]

Yeah, if the director of Armageddon says, "this is just too goofy", then it's time to shelve the whole thing.

Superman V?

[hal2814]

Superman V? But there was never a Superman IV. I saw a movie once called Supermaniv that looked like a Superman film at first, but it obviously was not a Superman movie.

I don't care...

[tawsenior]

what it took to get here as long as it get's back to what Superman is about. I just want to see a good retelling of the story. No camp please.

Re:So?

[Peldor]

Isn't it obvious? Not enough breasts!

As Jack Handy said....

[10Ghz]

..."I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.".

He also said "You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who make people happy, but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea.". So if Superman had a diarrhea (You could say a SUPER-diarrhea!)... We clearly need Jack Handy to redo the script of Superman V!

Re:Superman V?

[Anonymous Coward]

ya think, Captain Obvious ?

Re:So?

[phlegmofdiscontent]

Hey, I don't know about you, but I'm a discerning moviegoer. I demand more than the "occasional" breast.

Re:Superman V?

[ValuJet]

I hate to break it to you, but that movie was never made.

Yes you may have some sort of recollection of a something like this but get this. It didn't happen. You may be able to provide a link to IMDB or even a link to a torrent of the movie and all I have to say to that type of information is LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALAALALA

Re:So?

[Genoxide]

On second thought.. Forget the flashy stuff.. And the explosions ;)

Re:Sell out the Logic

[gallen1234]

Superman got married? To a human?!? The poor woman. Can you imagine the muzzle velocity of an orgasm powered by Kryptonian muscles?

Larry Niven discussed this in great detail in his essay Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex [rawbw.com].

You forgot one redeeming title...

[The Wooden Badger]

Transformers is going to give him tractor trailer loads of credibility.

Oblig. Family Guy

[The Wooden Badger]

In Hell:

Peter: Hey, what are you doing here?
Superman: I killed a hooker. She made a crack about me being faster than a speeding bullet so I ripped her in half like a phonebook.

Re:Superman V?

[Ricardo Lima]

As my friend always say about Highlander: "There can be only one!"

Screw Superman...

[NeuroManson]

I'm waiting for Powdered Toast Man: The Movie! Now THAT'S worth my $8 matinee admission.