Hans Reiser to Sell Company

DVega writes "Due to increasing legal costs, murder suspect Hans Reiser is seeking to sell his company. His lawyer William DuBois said he is running out of money to pay for his defense. DuBois added, 'This is a unique opportunity for someone to buy the company for pennies on the dollar. We welcome all vultures.' This is a good opportunity to own a filesystem and rename it after your own."

Heh,,

[aero2600-5]

AeroFS.. I bet that would bring a lawsuit from Microsoft..

Aero

Nice quote

[aztektum]

DuBois added, 'This is a unique opportunity for someone to buy the company for pennies on the dollar. We welcome all vultures.'

There's one hell of a joke about lawyers being vultures themselves, unfortunately the fact that a lawyer of all people said this has rendered my brain unable to make it.

DHFS!

[gardyloo]

Death-Hallow File System, natch.

Mising poll option

[iriefrank]

CowboyNealFS?

Obligatory bad joke

[nacturation]

When Lucas makes a movie about this, be sure to wear your "Hans shot first" t-shirts.
 

An opportunity for someone

[Nybble's Byte]

to make a killing.

Unintended pun?

[BigDumbAnimal]

he's seeking to sell off his open-source file system company, Namesys, to help pay mounting legal costs.

I'll pay 10x revenues

[winkydink]

and that's not pennies on the dollar. Oh wait, it's actually pennies.

Aww...

[Cl1mh4224rd]

FFS!

How about DSFS...

[davmoo]

Deep Shit File System

time for the linux community to intervene

[Monkelectric]

I think someone from slashdot needs to step up and confess to this murder. ReiserFS is a hell of a filesystem ... I would do it myself but I have an alibi. So who wants to be our patsy?

you forgot

[Anonymous Coward]

LawyerFS

m10

Re:time for the linux community to intervene

[Dissman]

CowboyNeal did it. In the parlor, with the bookend.

*puts clue game away.*

sounds fishy

[theMerovingian]

Reiser was arrested Oct. 10 after the Oakland Police Department found small drops of blood in his house and on his Honda CRX.

I'm not sure I'd want to buy a company from someone driving a Honda CRX [wikipedia.org]...

Re:This is sad ...

[theMerovingian]

A truck driver frequently traveled through a small town where there was a courthouse at the side of the road. Of course, there were always lawyers walking along the road. The truck driver made it a practice to hit any pedestrian lawyers with his truck as he sped by.

One day, he spotted a priest walking along the road and stopped to give him a ride. A little further along, as he approached the town, he spotted a lawyer walking along the side of the road.

Automatically, he veered his truck towards the lawyer, but...then he remembered his passenger. He swerved back to the center, but he heard a "whump" and in the rear view mirror he spotted the lawyer rolling across the field.

He turned to the priest and said, "Father, I'm sure that I missed that lawyer!"

And the priest replied, "That's OK, my son, I got him with the door.

Re:WinFS

[Fyre2012]

Well, DOS is an Operating System. [wikipedia.org] ReiserFS [wikipedia.org] is a FILEsystem. [wikipedia.org]

If you mean Windows should drop NTFS, purchase this, rebrand it and have it ready for Vista's release, than i think you're either trolling or a little naive.

heh, maybe Hans was in deals to sell it to MS (WinFS), but his concience ate away at him, and he ultimately refused. In return, they killed his wife, and now they get their FS on the CHEAP!

Re:This is sad ...

[Anonymous Coward]

Also found inside the car, according to police, was a roll of trash bags, masking tape, a siphon pump, absorbent towels and two books: "Homicide: A Year on the Killing Streets," by David Simon, about the Baltimore police homicide squad, and "Masterpieces of Murder," by Jonathan Goodman, about notorious murder cases.

Apparently there was nothing in those books about disposing of evidence.

This could be bad

[Trogre]

I can only add one comment to what's already been said with a quick prayer:

Please not Microsoft Please not Microsoft Please not Microsoft Please not Microsoft Please not Microsoft

Re:Where is Cochran when you need him?

[Man in Spandex]

You don't need Cochran, because he taught us the only technique that Hans needs: The Chewbacca Defense.

Hans, your only hope to strike back is to use the Chewbacca Defense and maybe then a new hope will rise upon your dark side of the story.

oh great

[circletimessquare]

here comes the GoldenPalace.com file system

those guys will buy anything if it gets them a free bit of news/ pr

Re:This is sad ...

[Broken scope]

Really? maybe in civil court. Prosecutors have this thing called reasonable doubt they have to deal with. With an intelligent jury who understands that concept, the prosecution has a much harder time than the defense.

I blame the jury. Stupid jury.

the most tasteless entry?

[Tumbleweed]

The IToldYouNotToBotherMeWhenImCodingBitch file system.

Re:WinFS

[Anonymous Coward]

heh, maybe Hans was in deals to sell it to MS (WinFS), but his concience ate away at him, and he ultimately refused. In return, they killed his wife, and now they get their FS on the CHEAP!

dude! You should be writing crappy murder mysteries - don't waste that fertile mind of yours, cash in! (But 1 caveat: don't mention Microsoft, even if you as the author know they're really behind each book's murder. Pick any common English given name for the bad guy except Bill -- though you're free to call him that in your head. Good luck!)

Re:This is sad ...

[ozbird]

All in all, I'd say its not looking good for him.

Are you sure? Try this Cluedo on for size: "Mr Ballmer, in the Honda, with the front seat."

Re:Nice quote

[Dachannien]

I think the phrase you're looking for is "takes one to know one".

Re:This is sad ...

[networkBoy]

"Apparently there was nothing in those books about disposing of evidence."

To be fair, it would appear that there was no direct evidence in the car. Problem is, like most ultra-super-uber-freaky_cool-keen-whazit geeks he attacked the problem programatically, and the circumstancial evidence was an unhandled exception. Talk about kernal panic!
-nB

Possible name

[SeaFox]

OJSystem
.
.
.
(for Open Journaled System, of course)

Paypal me!

[Schraegstrichpunkt]

I'm collecting donations to buy reiserfs so I can release it under the GPL. Paypal me at mailto:[e-mail] [mailto]!

Oblig Simpsons

[cybercobra]

Lionel Hutz: Can you imagine what a world without lawyers would be like?
(Thought bubble with people from different cultures dancing around merrily in a circle while holding hands)
Lionel Huts: Uggggh.

Vultures

[Philip K Dickhead]

I was thinking there was a REALLY bad-taste joke in there somewhere.

You know - If the vultures are circling, it's 'cos there's a corpse nearby.

WiKiFS

[Raistlin77]

Or WiKiFiSy... Wife Killer File System.

Re:Give the money to his kids

[Bastian]

What's this hay-bee-us cor-puss you speak of?

-a yank

Re:This is sad ...

[Anonymous Coward]

> After all, if YOU LOOSE, you have to pay the government court costs.

What do you mean by loose? In what way is he not tight?

So I married a kernel programmer

[CortoMaltese]

So I married a kernel programmer [geekz.co.uk]

Re:This is sad ...

[CoderDevo]

Also found inside the car, according to police, was a roll of trash bags, masking tape, a siphon pump, absorbent towels and two books: "Homicide: A Year on the Killing Streets," by David Simon, about the Baltimore police homicide squad, and "Masterpieces of Murder," by Jonathan Goodman, about notorious murder cases.

Lastly, a box containing the first two drafts of "How I did it," by Hans Reiser.

Re:the most tasteless entry?

[Tumbleweed]

You are so going to hell. ;)

Maybe, but at least I'll have a killer filesystem once I get there. :)

Re:WinFS

[Anonymous Coward]

I think the GP employed something we know as "sarcasm".

yeah....uh,

I think the GP employed something we know as "sarcasm"

Re:Vultures

[Mr2cents]

If ReiserFS uses a magic value somewhere, I suggest it to be changed to 0xDEADBABE.

Re:Unintended pun?

[Anonymous Coward]

Well you could say that "mounting" is the root cause of Hans' troubles, in an indirect way :)

Re:This is sad ...

[1u3hr]

Note to self: destroy copies of "Smartest Guys in the Room" and "Corporate Crime" after installing my program to skim the excess fractional pennies due to rounding bank transactions.

Don't forget to get rid of your Superman III and Office Space videos.

Re:This is sad ...

[rbanffy]

And you have a right to a free lawyer

Can I fork the lawyer and rename it?

Re:This is sad ...

[DrXym]

Apparently there was nothing in those books about disposing of evidence.

File a bug. The pressure should have triggered him to flush his cache.

Re:This is sad ...

[Anonymous Coward]

> What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start?

Re:This is sad ...

[13bPower]

in soviet russia, lawyer forks you! Well, I think they fork you anywhere, really.

Re:This is sad ...

[bythescruff]

"But it's sadder to see a innocent person goto prison."

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

Yes, gotos are evil.

Re:I'll pay 10x revenues

[m-wielgo]

wait, .002 dollars or .002 cents???

Re:Vultures

[ded_guy]

It puts the 'stab' in fstab!

Alan Cox

[Anonymous Coward]

I don't kill my wife... like other people [tinyurl.com]

Re:WinFS

[AnyThingButWindows]

If Linux was a car.... You could open the hood, and change motor to what you like. You could change the steering wheel, and the pedals, and the seats, and the hood color.... etc... The windows wouldn't be electric so you know the hand crank would work every time, and not hang. The car would cost $20k and last 400k miles. It would work on any road. You would never have an accident.
Oh wait, that is a normal car....

If Windows was a car.... Your hood would be welded shut, and you couldn't work on the motor, much less change it out, the windows wouldn't work on voice command, but you could have the option of "Are you sure" before you roll up, or down the windows with a button. The Airbag would ask the same question as well. Your car would cost $300,000 and the motor would last 10k miles before you had to wipe it and reload the engine. Only the dealer could do this, and it would take 36 minutes, but would require a preliminary inspection that required the car to be flipped upside down, and the blue ray disk inserted. You would have to buy a new one to be compatible with the new roads every 5 years.

If MacOS were a car, you could do most of 1, but you would have to replace your car once every 2 years, but if you choose not to, then your radio stops working, but you will have the pleasure of knowing that although your car costs $50k, it will last 400k miles as well. (IE: A Volvo) Although you could get an extended warrenty for $2,390 a year called the AppleCar plan.

Silly hacker

[billcopc]

What was this guy thinking ? Is he BLIND ? Did he not realize that just about every brilliant hacker is single for a reason ?! Women, all women, are totally insane! There is ample empirical evidence that shows that only intellectually challenged men can endure extended female companionship.

As young girls, they are taught that girls are smart and boys are stupid. See when a clever fella gets a woman, at first all is rosy, but over time the woman gets comfortable and that's where the power struggles begin. First the man will turn down alcohol and sex, favoring long nights of caffeine and code. This spites the woman, who retaliates by offering the same alcohol and sex to an ugly-ass close friend of the hacker. As the nonsense altercations grow in frequency, the clever male begins to apply his vast intellect to find a solution. Possessing above-average intellect, he starts to believe he can get away with murder, since he is far smarter than the common police detective. Woman is ground using a beowulf cluster of noisy Celeron CPU fans, then buried in the chassis of a nearby AS/400 mainframe. Hacker assumes he is home free.

Cops show up, ask "Hey where's your wife". Hacker says "She's went to fuck my ugly-ass friend four weeks ago". Cops pool their collective IQ and ultimately decide something is amiss.

All this crap could have been avoided if the hacker had ordered a replacement wife from Bride.ru. Then he could have said "My wife is right here, NOT dead in a mainframe and NOT fucking my ugly-ass friend". The cops would have celebrated this non-event with coffee and donuts and ReiserFS would live on as a crappy-ass attention-whoring unsupported agenda-driving filesystem.

Re:new here?

[Anonymous Coward]

He can't be new here, he misspelled "lose" and put it in caps.

Re:WinFS

[SCO STINKS]

Pick any common English given name for the bad guy except Bill

Ok great... I'll use Steve!

Re:WinFS

[darkpixel2k]

heh, maybe Hans was in deals to sell it to MS (WinFS), but his concience ate away at him, and he ultimately refused. In return, they killed his wife, and now they get their FS on the CHEAP!


How could you miss it. It's so *obvious*.
Hans didn't kill his wife...STEVE BALLMER DID!

omg--I said too muc**CHAIR!!**