9 Laws of Physics That Don't Apply in Hollywood

Ant writes "Neatorama lists nine laws of physics that don't apply in Hollywood (movies and television/TV shows). In general, Hollywood filmmakers follow the laws of physics because they have no other choice. It's just when they cheat with special effects that people seem to forget how the world really works..."

Add one to that

[Mark Maughan]

You don't see people's skeleton glow when they are being electrocuted.

perfect vacuum

[hobo sapiens]

How about the fact that there is no such thing as a perfect vacuum?

Hollywood movies suck so much it seems like they violate this one.

Number #1 broken rule

[Anonymous Coward]

Time is rarely shown as continuous, forward moving, and in real time.

They are always using edits, skipping stuff and even going backwards and forwards. Really makes it hard to enjoy a film with your sense of reality totally shattered.

Re:Umm...

[93 Escort Wagon]

If you're going to write an article about the laws of physics, shouldn't you actually understand the laws of physics?

Dude, hello - this is Slashdot? People "knowledgeably" comment on science here all the time without benefit of actually understanding the subject.

Re:Same topics all over again

[Anonymous Coward]

Hollywood are not meant to learn about real world. It is about entertainment.

And that folks, is why we have such films as "An Inconvenient Truth".

1 Law of Computers That Doesn't Apply in ...

[Nom du Keyboard]

1 Law of Computers That Doesn't Apply in Hollywood: Computer passwords cannot always be guessed in 3 tries.

Associated Google ads

[Animats]

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The second one links to eBay, of course.

Google AdWords needs to be smarter about understanding the content from which it extracts ad targets.

Airbrakes my friend, don't you watch Bugs Bunny

[Anonymous Coward]

they can stop a plane feet from the ground.

Middle C

[OhEd]

The article says that the frequency of middle C is 256 Hz. Sorry, no, it's approximately 261.6Hz. Analysis: the article is quite flat.

Re:Same topics all over again

[SengirV]

Which is why it's pure comedy gold when they talk about politics.

Re:Been there, done that.

[pclminion]

I got a chance to fire some incendiary rounds recently. Talk about sparking.

For Animators

[blamanj]

The discussion wouldn't be complete without a reference to the Cartoon Laws of Physics [dartmouth.edu].

Re:Never mind hollywood

[elrous0]

Scary, but all too true [mediamatters.org].

Frightening to think that grown adults still think that real life is like a television show or movie. Do they think that 80 lb. girls go around beating the Hell out 200 lb. vampires too? Do they think that groups of 20-somethings working in coffee shops are really able to afford vast New York City lofts? Do they think that there is any way Jack Tripper ISN'T gay?

-Eric

Re:Other laws

[Grashnak]

And let us not forget that most people don't immediately put their underwear and pjs on after having drunken one-night stands, thereby allowing them to get up all embarassed but fully clothed in the morning.

Everytime I see that I laugh out loud. Like, babe, 6 hours ago you were chugging his cock, and NOW you're embarassed?

Re:Associated Google ads

[Stefanwulf]

My favorite ever, from a speculative blog about Russian plans for mining helium-3 on the moon:

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It can be reproduced by simply googling "Fusion Reactors".

Re:perfect vacuum

[spun]

----> Joke

              O ------You
            -+-
          / | \
              +
            / \
          / \

Um, he was saying that Hollywood movies themselves ARE a perfect vacuum, in that they suck so much. Not a particularly funny joke, but a joke.

Tyres squealing

[caluml]

Do they have car tyres squealing everywhere, even on sand at 5mph?

Re:Add one to that

[Anonymous Coward]

You could see the bone?

Well, it's good to see...

[Jeian]

... that the Law of Slashdotting remains in effect.

Re:Same topics all over again

[Jorgandar]

Imagine how short movies would be if they all followed the laws of physics...Hero fires a handgun at enemy, ducks under a table, gets shot at, runs and jumps off a ledge to the ground below, twists an ankle because the fall was about 5 feet, limps away, and gets killed by gunfire. End of movie.

Re:Been there, done that.

[cant_get_a_good_nick]

5.62 Millimeter...
Full... Metal... Jacket...!!!

Sorry, couldn't resist. One of my favorite movies of all time.

Re:Outerspace is Cold

[soft_guy]

I often wondered whether if you were in a vacuum you might even overheat?

I'd be more worried about not being able to breathe.

Re:Other laws

[Dread_ed]

In a strange reversal, I sometimes notice the conspicuous absence of "danger music" when I am driving too fast or shoplifting.

Re:Outerspace is Cold

[Anonymous Coward]

yeah...or the fact I'm in MOTHERF*CKIN SPACE!

Re:Same topics all over again

[Rude Turnip]

My friend made a similar comment about the original Star Wars..."Imagine if Luke, Leia and Han Solo got crushed in the garbage compactor in the Death Star--end film. Best. Movie. Ever."

Re:Same topics all over again

[sidb]

yes and no

That belongs in the tags, not the comments.

Re:the most famous example is not mentioned

[Cro Magnon]

Not that it matters, because most of the bad guys can't shoot worth a damn anyway.

That's one of my peeves. They're always showing the bad guys shooting dozens of rounds at the hero, and they always miss. If I was that bad a shot, I think I'd retire from crime.

Re:9 Bad Excuses for a Fluff Piece

[Rob T Firefly]

There's a documentary around somewhere showing how everything worked and the actual bus jump, but I can't remember where I saw it or what it was called.

If you are referring to the HBO documentary about the making of "Speed," you saw it on HBO, and it's called The Making of "Speed." [imdb.com]

Re:Add one to that

[rumkee]

Thats not true when i was about 10 i was electrocuted and i vividly remember seeing my skeleton, also my hair did stand on end and no i'm not kidding.

Re:Number #1 broken rule

[Chris Burke]

Which is why 24 is the most realistic show ever. The only unrealistic part is that we have to believe that everyone coordinates their bathroom breaks for the commercials.

Seems to me one day the terrorists will take advantage of that, and move when they know Jack is on the can.

Re:Copper doesn't spark

[Dirtside]

"the sparks generally are barely visible even under ideal lighting conditions"

Do they mean, uh, darkness? :)

Re:Copper doesn't spark

[spun]

"the sparks generally are barely visible even under ideal lighting conditions"

Do they mean, uh, darkness? :)

Mood lighting. If you want sparks, you need mood lighting, a little vino, and some sexy R&B.

Re:Been there, done that.

[pclminion]

Perhaps he is a scuba diver?

Re:Pet Gun Peeve

[fireman sam]

It also appears they lack a sense of humor.

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Laws of sociology that do not apply

[Impy the Impiuos Imp]

Physics? Ok, nerds. Here's some movie laws of sociology that do not apply.

1. Nerds are not good looking

2. Nerds are not cool with the ladies

3. Nerds do not "get the girls"

4. No hot babe is gonna have a "moment" when you stare into each other's eyes and fall in love with you. As you lean in, she'll go "ick" and put up the palm of her hand. As if!

5. If a nerd actually saves the planet in reality, the hot girl will still go with the hairy, sweaty janitor.

6. If you finally get so ticked off you take a swing at the big bully, he beats the crap out of you again, anyway.

7. The hot girl laughs at you and starts giving the bully head while you cry and crawl off in search of pr0n.

Re:Add one to that

[RealGrouchy]

You don't see people's skeleton glow when they are being electrocuted.

You don't, but that's because you're not doing it right.

- RG>

Re:Pet Gun Peeve

[Damastus the WizLiz]

A real marine should be able to carry a chain saw, a pistol, a shot gun, a chain gun, a plasma rifle, and a rocket launcher. Each with several cases of ammo.