Circuit City and the American Dream 835
An anonymous reader writes "Circuit City said yesterday that it had fired 3,400 of its highest-paid sales staff — 8% of its employees — and will replace them with lower-paid workers. Sign On San Diego called this 'a risky strategy to cut costs that goes beyond the layoffs, buyouts and hiring freezes commonly used by struggling companies.' The fired workers have a chance to apply for lower-paying positions after a 10-week wait, the company said. Quoting a Circuit City spokesman: 'This is no reflection on job performance... We deeply regret the negative impact. Retail is extremely competitive, and if we're going to thrive and operate a successful company... we just have to control costs.' So: work hard, become the best in your field, and get fired so they can offer you a new job 10 weeks later at a lower salary."
So take your business to Best Buy (Score:4, Funny)
Re:So take your business to Best Buy (Score:5, Funny)
Parody (Score:5, Funny)
Business savvy decision allows new employees a chance at sales fame.
Top business analysts have determined that a growing number of people have become "too wealthy for their own good", according to one high-ranking Wall Street spokesperson. "It is in the interest of the common good that we allow other, less priveleged folks, to have the opportunity to buy their own food and afford both rent and car payments."
The dismissed workers, having reached their allowed quota of wealth, were given peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on their way out the door and told that they could reapply after their savings had been reduced to zero. While the average lifespan of a salesman's savings is about ten weeks, according to financial analysts, it was widely agreed that dismissed employees would not truly be eligible for reassignment until they had accumulated enough debt to prevent them from ever owning a house or car again.
"These people were beginning to factor into systems that have long been the exclusive playgrounds of the rich and powerful. We simply could not allow them to tip the scales and upset the balance," said Circuit City spokesman Bill Cimino.
Re:You have *got* to be kidding me. (Score:5, Funny)
After 10 weeks bored out of your mind on the couch, watching tv with a beer in your hand and listening to your wife pestering you to find another job? not sure the red shirt will fit anymore...
It's happening everwhere! (Score:3, Funny)
fuck'n Goobacks! (Score:2, Funny)
Have we learned NOTHING from Star Trek? (Score:5, Funny)
Ah yes. (Score:3, Funny)
Ah yes, the American Dream: to languish in pitiable work conditions hoping some rare enlightened higher-up will have mercy on you and, if not actually pay you more, at least fail to sack you.
Wait. That's not the American Dream I know about. Oh yeah -- it's more about self-determination and a drive to succeed by the power of one's own capabilities. But hey, I can see how a person could get the two ideas confused...
Re:You have *got* to be kidding me. (Score:5, Funny)
Get in line now, avoid the rush (Score:5, Funny)
Circuit City: You make too much money. You're fired.
Dumbass Employee: What? Noooooooo! My PS3 comes in next week and I need the employee discount! I'll work for less!
CC: Not good enough. First you must go without a paycheck for 10 weeks to prove you are worthy.
DE: Aaaggghhhh! Okay, then what? I'll do anything.
CC: Then you must crawl back here, and I do mean crawl, and beg for your job back at half your previous salary!
DE: *sobbing* I'll do it!
CC: Oh, and bring me a shrubbery.
Re:First boycott Best Buy, now Circuit City? (Score:4, Funny)
Assuming that "you" are the guy in charge of a credit card telemarketing company? No, that isn't what you should do. You should, in fact, find the nearest wood chipper and jump in.
Re:You have *got* to be kidding me. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Democracy? (Score:4, Funny)
Reminds me of a similar situation... (Score:5, Funny)
The fired workers have a chance to apply for lower-paying positions after a 10-week wait, the company said.
However, that circuit city feels that they can exercise their lack of loyalty so egregiously is disgusting.
Recently, my girlfriend dumped me but said I was encouraged to reapply for the position of "friend" instead. I told her that if she upgraded the offer to "friends with benefits" that we could consider that a severance package for my being so loyal to her. She told me rather sternly to take or leave her original offer.
Bitch.
GMD
Re: The lowest of the low (Score:3, Funny)
Oh wait. Nevermind.