Serious Magnet Failure at CERN's New Accelerator

GrepNut writes "CERN is reporting that the giant magnets that steer the particle beam in the new and highly anticipated Large Hadron Collider have just failed catastrophically in a stress test, apparently due to a design oversight. It doesn't help that the magnets were designed and built by CERN's US competitor Fermilab." While safety precautions were followed, and no one was injured nor were any rifts in the space-time continuum opened, it's still a rather large setback for the project.

What actually happened

[DJCacophony]

The part was destroyed and subsequently compressed into a singularity by the black hole that the device created.

There were no injuries

[Anonymous Coward]

But all credit cards within a 10-mile radius were erased.

Just reverse the polarity

[Anonymous Coward]

...and make sure there aren't any redshirts around the next time you install it.

Important safety tip

[rheman1]

How many time do I have to tell you: Don't cross the streams!

Oddone will speak again

[Anonymous Coward]

Where would someone called Oddone work if not at a place that creates black holes.

Re:Important safety tip

[truthsearch]

Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light. Total protonic reversal.

Right. That's bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks.

Apparently...

[DiamondGeezer]

...they're going to boost the mass spectrometer to 105% (for the extra resolution). It should be fine just so long as they follow standard insertion procedure...but you don't need to know that - everything will be fine.

Re:There were no injuries

[JackMeyhoff]

Nevermind that, my metal impants caused me to be stuck to the ceiling for hours until it was finally switched off!

It all started when...

[kpainter]

"...research associate Gordon Freeman pushes a crystalline specimen into the beam of an over-charged anti-mass spectrometer, the experiment triggers a resonance cascade, which causes severe structural damage to the entire facility and severs communications with the outside world, and within much of the facility itself..." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Mesa_Research_F acility#.22The_Black_Mesa_Incident.22 [wikipedia.org]

Intelligent design at work!

[master_p]

God does not want us to dig a hole into His universe! that's why the new accelerator will never work!

It was a...

[master_p]

...resonance cascade failure! :-)

Re:Not Magnet Failure??

[kestasjk]

An "Oh shit - nobody thunk of that" moment which building a particle accelerator.. Promising.

Need more coffee

[neildiamond]

Did anyone else read that as hardon collider?

Re:What actually happened

[Anonymous Coward]

Uh...it's probably not a problem...probably...but I'm showing a small discrepancy in...well, no, it's well within acceptable bounds again. Sustaining sequence...

Re:Apparently...

[StarfishOne]

If only they had rerouted auxiliary power via the main deflector dish this wouldn't have happened.. don't they teach anything in high school anymore? =/

Re:kinda funny, really...

[Dunbal]

so why wasn't this tagged "ha ha" ?

      We're saving the ha-ha for when Switzerland disappears and the remaining crater is filled with a large strawberry shortcake with extra anchovies.

That was no failure

[Anonymous Coward]

The researcher tasked with inputting The Numbers lost his faith and didn't press EXECUTE.

Re:There were no injuries

[Dunbal]

MRIs have pretty strong magnetic fields & don't hurt you

      Provided the EMT doesn't forget to take the oxygen cylinder out of the room....

Re:What actually happened

[tsajeff]

Weren't they warned never to cross the streams??

Re:Not Magnet Failure??

[Anonymous Coward]

All science is theoretical until it either explodes or your sandwich goes moldy... ...and explodes.

Re:There were no injuries

[RMB2]

I actually just spilled paint on my jeans this morning. I'd like to replace them with a pair of your "metal impants", they seem to have extraordinary properties

Re:There were no injuries

[MrYotsuya]

Or your doctor shoots you in the face.

Dr. Cheney, I presume?