SCO Legally Assaults PJ of Groklaw

SCO Legally Assaults PJ of Groklaw 340

Posted by Zonk on Thursday April 05, 2007 @09:14AM from the when-will-it-end dept.

Litigious Bastards writes "SCO has just filed court papers saying that they were unable to subpoena PJ of Groklaw. While they apparently sent their crack team of process servers out looking for random people named Pamela Jones, it would appear that they were unable to locate the bright yellow envelope labeled 'Email PJ' on the Groklaw website to ask for directions to serve her in person. They're once again accusing her of working for IBM or Novell, and Groklaw is now hosting over 20 documents PJ claims were planted in the media in an effort to discredit her. As she says, 'And so the stupidest lawsuit in the history of the world just got stupider. And a whole lot meaner.'"

SCO Legally Assaults PJ of Groklaw

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Legally assaults? (Score:5, Funny)

by Askmum ( 1038780 ) writes: on Thursday April 05, 2007 @09:16AM (#18619287)

I wasn't aware of the fact that assault was legal in the US.

SCNR

I've heard... (Score:5, Funny)

by Cytlid ( 95255 ) writes: on Thursday April 05, 2007 @09:19AM (#18619329)

... that they're also looking for an elusive character to subpoena, his name is "Honest Truth".

Re:Legally assaults? (Score:5, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Thursday April 05, 2007 @09:23AM (#18619383)

Only if you hit someone with a lawyer.

Re:Legally assaults? (Score:5, Funny)

by Ellis D. Tripp ( 755736 ) writes: on Thursday April 05, 2007 @09:25AM (#18619401) Homepage

Or you are the VP, on a hunting trip...

Is there something we can do to help? (Score:5, Funny)

by AltGrendel ( 175092 ) writes: <ag-slashdot.exit0@us> on Thursday April 05, 2007 @09:27AM (#18619427) Homepage

Counter sue?
Nah, I'll just call my Cousin Vinnie.
Baseball bat and umm...
You named SCO? I heard you're giving a friend of mine, PJ, some problems. Let's talk.

Stupidest lawsuit in history? (Score:5, Funny)

by giafly ( 926567 ) writes: on Thursday April 05, 2007 @09:29AM (#18619449)

A Montana man has sued media giant Viacom, saying the MTV show "Jackass" plagiarized his name [power-of-attorneys.com], infringed on the trademark and copyright of his name and defamed his good character. The plaintiff's name is Jack Ass.

An inmate in a Virginia penitentiary has filed a lawsuit against himself [assetprotectioncorp.com], claiming that he violated his own civil rights by getting arrested.

When fans of eating can no longer trust their cheese-covered puffs boiled in oil to be healthy, it's more than sad. It's your ticket to millions. Meredith Berkman claims the secret fat caused her "weight gain, mental anguish, outrage, and indignation." [thewavemag.com]

Nope. Not even close. [google.com]

Re:I've heard... (Score:5, Funny)

by physicsboy500 ( 645835 ) writes: on Thursday April 05, 2007 @09:30AM (#18619463)

... that they're also looking for an elusive character to subpoena, his name is "Honest Truth".

that's funny... I thought they were trying to avoid him

Re:Legally assaults? (Score:3, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Thursday April 05, 2007 @09:32AM (#18619483)

Or a Kennedy driving drunk, at night...

Slashdotting (Score:3, Funny)

by hey ( 83763 ) writes: on Thursday April 05, 2007 @09:37AM (#18619549) Journal

Her server is withstanding the Slashdotting pretty well.
This proves "she" must really be IBM. (Joke.)

Seriously, I hope someday, somebody can write a short (one page) clear and simple
document explaining who owns the various *nix names and code.
I'd like this short document to be sued and win so make it "proven".

Re:I've heard... (Score:5, Funny)

by Vengeance ( 46019 ) writes: on Thursday April 05, 2007 @09:39AM (#18619579)

Actually, they keep running smack up against the guy, but never recognize him when they see him.

All Slashdot-ers with initials PJ.... (Score:5, Funny)

by Fysiks Wurks ( 949375 ) writes: on Thursday April 05, 2007 @09:59AM (#18619871)

Email SCO with your message " I AM P.J!"

For authenticity you should be wearing your Spartacus gladiator arm shield or Roman slave tunic while typing.

But Darl's got a gun. (Score:4, Funny)

by Jaywalk ( 94910 ) writes: on Thursday April 05, 2007 @09:59AM (#18619873) Homepage

SCO's CEO has made a point of telling the press that he carries a gun [deseretnews.com]. So he's got lawyers and guns, but he's running out of money [lamlaw.com].

Re:IANAL, but surely.... (Score:5, Funny)

by LizardKing ( 5245 ) writes: on Thursday April 05, 2007 @10:01AM (#18619901)

IANAL (I do have most of a Paralegal degree, sans only Ethics.)

I gather that the difference between a Paralegal degree and a Lawyer one is that there isn't an Ethics course in the latter.

I have finally understood SCO's business plan (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Thursday April 05, 2007 @10:03AM (#18619927)

Because it has been a business plot from the beginning:
They want to get cash from a hollywood movie with Julia Roberts

Re:I've heard... (Score:5, Funny)

by Stanistani ( 808333 ) writes: on Thursday April 05, 2007 @10:15AM (#18620101) Homepage Journal

Psst! He's hiding in a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying 'Beware of the Leopard'

Re:Is there something we can do to help? (Score:5, Funny)

by Hieronymus Howard ( 215725 ) writes: on Thursday April 05, 2007 @10:21AM (#18620193)

With a username of AltGrendel, shouldn't you be getting your mother to do the dirty work?

Re:More Trouble (Score:3, Funny)

by mikelieman ( 35628 ) writes: on Thursday April 05, 2007 @10:27AM (#18620281) Homepage

Pierce that Corporate Veil! Yeah Baby!

Re:But Darl's got a gun. (Score:5, Funny)

by sconeu ( 64226 ) writes: on Thursday April 05, 2007 @10:27AM (#18620289) Homepage Journal

Why don't we just send Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner after him?

(and to the mod trolls, no it's not off-topic, reread the parent).

Re:Legally assaults? (Score:1, Funny)

by imikem ( 767509 ) writes: on Thursday April 05, 2007 @10:29AM (#18620325) Homepage

Cool. An actual use for lawyers has been found. "Legal Assaulted" is a perfect premise for a show on Spike or G4 cable channels. /me runs to copyright the idea.

groklaw slashdotted now (Score:2, Funny)

by random coward ( 527722 ) writes: on Thursday April 05, 2007 @10:33AM (#18620397)

Thanks slashdot; you crashed groklaw.

Re:Stupidest lawsuit in history? (Score:2, Funny)

by Kierthos ( 225954 ) writes: on Thursday April 05, 2007 @10:37AM (#18620461) Homepage

Hey, just because no one reads your blog is no reason to take it out on PJ.

Re:I've heard... (Score:5, Funny)

by spun ( 1352 ) writes: <loverevolutionary@@@yahoo...com> on Thursday April 05, 2007 @10:53AM (#18620751) Journal

I'm guessing that's because their "crack teams" are using actual crack.

Re:Legally assaults? (Score:3, Funny)

by MBGMorden ( 803437 ) writes: on Thursday April 05, 2007 @11:00AM (#18620857)

I can just see the commercial now. Guy in a 3 piece suit with a red headband tied on: Webster, Webster, & Cohen. Our Kung-fu is strong. Just pick a target and we'll beat the ever loving sh*t out of him, legally!

Re:I've heard... (Score:4, Funny)

by _Sprocket_ ( 42527 ) writes: on Thursday April 05, 2007 @11:02AM (#18620877)

I would imagine they have no use for Honest Truth. However, Daryl has been overheard to say he would like some "individuals of interest" added to the case... namely Waldo and Carmen Sandiego. SCOg's lawyers figured PJ was more or less the same thing to them.

Re:Time enough... (Score:5, Funny)

by Dr. Manhattan ( 29720 ) writes: <(moc.liamg) (ta) (171rorecros)> on Thursday April 05, 2007 @11:02AM (#18620879) Homepage

This will be used as a lesson in all business and law schools.

Personally, I'm hoping for a new verb, like "SCOpuku" (from 'seppuku') or at least "SCOicide". To wit:
SCOpuku: Destroying one's company by launching frivolous legal action against Open Source developers and/or companies. See SCO.

Re:Fairly transparent what their strategy will be (Score:3, Funny)

by FuryG3 ( 113706 ) writes: on Thursday April 05, 2007 @11:20AM (#18621197)

I think if I ever run into Darl I'll run up to him and be like "Hey, Mr. McBride? Can I get an autograph..." "Thanks! Now I just have to get the Enron guys and I'll have the whole set!

Re:Legally assaults? (Score:3, Funny)

by smittyoneeach ( 243267 ) * writes: on Thursday April 05, 2007 @11:46AM (#18621699) Homepage Journal

Oh, the barristerial battery of it all...

Re:Legally assaults? (Score:3, Funny)

by mikael ( 484 ) writes: on Thursday April 05, 2007 @12:14PM (#18622169)

They are, but you need a lot of practise. [clusterballoon.org]

SCO = NOKO (Score:2, Funny)

by KnarfO ( 320113 ) writes: on Thursday April 05, 2007 @12:19PM (#18622251) Homepage

With SCO it has always been about tricks and delay.

Dang! Now I see!

Darl McBride is *actually* Kim Jong Ill!

SCO is the USA shell corporation for NoKo!

It all makes sense now...

You better re-read that filing (Score:3, Funny)

by Mateo_LeFou ( 859634 ) writes: on Thursday April 05, 2007 @12:32PM (#18622439) Homepage

SCO's filing makes it quite clear that PJ works for IBM, and has been dodging their subpoena like so many Bill Clintons during the Nam war.

Beginning on page 3 of
http://www.groklaw.net/pdf/IBM-1018.pdf [groklaw.net]

You will see *numerous links to all sorts of blogs that reinforce SCO's theory about her. This, obviously, is damning evidence. Also, for about eleven minutes on August 6, 2006, the Wikipedia article on PJ clearly stated that she was an undercover IBM agent and a "$£77¥ h0!!!!"

SCO sues sues sues! (Score:2, Funny)

by noidentity ( 188756 ) writes: on Thursday April 05, 2007 @03:03PM (#18624725)

First they sued the companies their code came from. Then they sued their paying users. Now they're suing those who are discussing their suits. Next they will sue the world. Mwahahahahaha!

Re:Legally assaults? (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Thursday April 05, 2007 @03:37PM (#18625285)

Or Laura Bush driving drunk, at night...

Re:I've heard... (Score:3, Funny)

by couchslug ( 175151 ) writes: on Thursday April 05, 2007 @03:50PM (#18625513)

Actual "Plumbers Crack" is more like it.

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SCO Legally Assaults PJ of Groklaw 340

SCO Legally Assaults PJ of Groklaw More Login

SCO Legally Assaults PJ of Groklaw

Legally assaults? (Score:5, Funny)

I've heard... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Legally assaults? (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Legally assaults? (Score:5, Funny)

Is there something we can do to help? (Score:5, Funny)

Stupidest lawsuit in history? (Score:5, Funny)

Re:I've heard... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Legally assaults? (Score:3, Funny)

Slashdotting (Score:3, Funny)

Re:I've heard... (Score:5, Funny)

All Slashdot-ers with initials PJ.... (Score:5, Funny)

But Darl's got a gun. (Score:4, Funny)

Re:IANAL, but surely.... (Score:5, Funny)

I have finally understood SCO's business plan (Score:1, Funny)

Re:I've heard... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Is there something we can do to help? (Score:5, Funny)

Re:More Trouble (Score:3, Funny)

Re:But Darl's got a gun. (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Legally assaults? (Score:1, Funny)

groklaw slashdotted now (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Stupidest lawsuit in history? (Score:2, Funny)

Re:I've heard... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Legally assaults? (Score:3, Funny)

Re:I've heard... (Score:4, Funny)

Re:Time enough... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Fairly transparent what their strategy will be (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Legally assaults? (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Legally assaults? (Score:3, Funny)

SCO = NOKO (Score:2, Funny)

You better re-read that filing (Score:3, Funny)

SCO sues sues sues! (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Legally assaults? (Score:1, Funny)

Re:I've heard... (Score:3, Funny)

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