Star Trek XI Plot Details Revealed

HotChk101 writes to tell us that the plot for Star Trek XI has been revealed over at IESB. This information has not yet been confirmed by the studio so take with the requisite grain of salt. Be warned link contains potential spoiler information.

huh?

[Anonymous Coward]

HotChk101 and Star Trek? Something here does not compute.

Re:huh?

[mh1997]

"HotChk101 and Star Trek? Something here does not compute."

if we've learned anything from "To Catch a Predator," HotChk101 is a 63 year old man.

Re:Spoilers

[Shadow Wrought]

I think the spoiler is that it's a Trek film with a plot.

Re:OMG!

[fm6]

This makes his second death, right? At this rate, he'll soon catch up with Buffy!

The plot

[moogied]

Title: The final answer.

Plot: Kirk, Picard, Janeway, Cisco, and that guy from enterprise that nobody liked all get merged together in a transporter accident, not only fusing body, mind, spirit, and time.. but also...

A CAT.

After several days of bickering about which part of there personality was most dominant Tuvok and Spock have to do a threesome mind meld in order to seperate the individual personalities. After several intense shots of tuvok and spock both appearently giving birth(facial expressions only) they both suddenly stop and lock at eachother. Appearently in shock.. they announce to the world that the winner of this battle of personalities was no one but:

Malcolm "Mal" Reynolds.

Shortly after this serenity was seen flying off.

You may think this to be satire.. but with the cluster fuck that this new movie promises to be, I might actually wish they made mine instead of theres..

©Daniel M. 2007.

^ Just incase.

Re:I for one....

[magarity]

getting pretty tired of prequels and time travel
 
I was thinking the same thing and figure the final word in tired, cheap ST plot devices would be a prequel about travelling back in time to meet Q in a runaway holodeck program.

Re:Spoilers

[owlnation]

I think the spoiler is that it's a Trek film with a plot.

What does God need with a Plot?

Re:I for one....

[ArcherB]

I was thinking the same thing and figure the final word in tired, cheap ST plot devices would be a prequel about travelling back in time to meet Q in a runaway holodeck program.

Well, you may need the Borg in there somewhere and whatever the problem is, it must be fixed using some pseudo-science techno-solution that is redirected through the deflector dish.

Re:OMG!

[jollyreaper]

This makes his second death, right? At this rate, he'll soon catch up with Buffy!

But her boobs still look better.

Re:Surprisingly not terrible

[veganboyjosh]

Winona Ryder has been cast as Spock's mother. So there goes some of the acting...

I, for one, fully expect her to steal the show.

Re:Harlan Ellison

[Quantum Jim]

The thing is, the Guardian of Forever that appeared in Harlan Ellison's scripts was very, very different than what appeared in the episode. Ellison's Guardian was an old man or a group of old men, and the time portal was a pillar of light. The "donut-of-time" which appeared in the episode was probably a product of either Roddenberry, Fontana, or someone else on the writing staff. Ellison's contributions to the final Guardian seemed to be vague and mostly in setting and name. I am not saying which version is superior, just that Ellison's rants about the Guardian of Forever are really exaggerated.

Re:Spoilers

[joeytmann]

I need it. Bring it closer so I might join with it.

Re:But it is an "Odd Number"... so it will "suck".

[owlnation]

We all know the curse of the odd number Trek movie.

Solution. Change Star Trek XI into CSI: Star Trek.

With JJ Abrams at the "helm" it won't be light years away from that anyway.

Re:But it is an "Odd Number"... so it will "suck".

[toQDuj]

Hey, what was wrong with Star Trek I: The Motion Picture? I really liked that one, ya kno.

B.

Throw in a shower scene ...

[khasim]

Name her Sarra Konnar ...

Combine the Romulans with the Borg ...

Okay, new plot. A Borg'ified Romulan travels back through time to kill Kirk. Something about Spock's hot mother ... Spock gives a message to baby Spock ... baby Kirk has sex with Spock's hot mother producing some half-vulcan/half-human hybrid that may show up in later scripts ... the Romulan/Borg hybrid is defeated ... the Federation gets new Borg technology ...

That should be good for a few movies and maybe another TV series.

Fuck time travel movies.

Re:That's the problem.

[Stamen]

"Last nights episode sucked. Everything Star Trek has sucked since TOS. Another rehash, more talking heads, time travel, Picard's feelings, blah blah blah. I watched the episode twice and man did it suck. I've seen every episode, at least two times or more, and they all suck so bad. Do they have writers? How about real actors? I'd write more, but Enterpise is on, and I have to watch it again, just to make sure it still sucks, just as bad."

Re:huh?

[Anonymous Coward]

if we've learned anything from "To Catch a Predator," HotChk101 is a 63 year old man.

He has a mild fever, huge man-boobs and operates out of room #101.

I think I saw that guy at a trek convention in Oakland in '75.

Re:OMG!

[fm6]

A matter of opinion.

SMG on the rumor that she'd had a boob job: "Lemme tell ya, if I paid for these, I'd like 'em to look a lot better than this."

Re:Nothing to see here, people...

[superwiz]

However if it had been another Next Generation movie, well, then there would be something to see indeed ;-)

If only you managed to turn this into vi vs emacs discussion.... ahh... to dream.

Star Trek Prequels

[AMSRay]

It's not so complicated, just renumber the movies! Lucas did it. Star Trek the Motion Picture could become "Star Trek IV: A New Hairpiece". The "New" Star Trek could be "Star Trek I: The Phantom Storyline". Look how much money this strategy made for Lucas.

Re:Throw in a shower scene ...

[TheRaven64]

baby Kirk has sex with Spock's hot mother producing some half-vulcan/half-human hybrid

Considering that Kirk is human and so is Spock's mother, I'm not sure how that would work.

Yes, that was the only thing I found wrong with your idea.

Re:More time travel? DO NOT WANT!

[jollyreaper]

My three least favorite plot complications are time travel, amnesia, and anything having to do with a "prophecy."
Well, given time travel, then prophecies kind of come with the territory. It's just a matter of context really. I'm a time traveller, you're a prophet, he/she/it is a fraud.

I'd add to the list of annoying plot complications 'controlled by an evil alien entity'.

Or how about an enemy that has you so outclassed, the only way they can be defeated is either through jaw-dropping stupidity on the part of the enemy or a credulity-banishing one in a million shot that never could have been made or some stupid-ass deus ex machina. UGH! Yeah, build the Borg into some big awesome enemy and they're so damn powerful, the only way they can be defeated is with a mathematical riddle. UGH!

Well I was walking down the street just a-having a think
when I met a snake of a producer gave me an evil wink
he shook me uo, he took me by surprise
he had a Trek franchise and the devil's eyes
Oh we wrote some scripts and I felt a change,
talent meant nothing never would again

Let's do a timewarp again! Deus ex machina again!

Spock Boobs.

[Altima(BoB)]

Fascinating.