Leaked RIAA Training Video

An anonymous reader writes "Gizmodo has a clip of that RIAA training video produced with the NDAA for US prosecutors that was leaked to torrent sites a few days ago. It argues they should pursue piracy cases because it leads to bigger and badder wares, like handguns, drugs, terrorist orgs, and hardcore repeat offender criminals. It's kind of sad how far they're stretching to bring law enforcement into the matter."

That solves everything!

[themushroom]

Because, you know, terrorists always watch pirated movies and download pop albums, and they're constantly Torrenting weapons of mass destruction (though it takes awhile with their throughput).

RIAA, Homeland Security... who knew they were one and the same?

Muhahahahaha

[Ariastis]

A CD today, tomorrow the world! arrrrrrrrrrr....

How?

[TubeSteak]

How will they pursue piracy cases without a Navy?

Re:Lawyer are god

[themushroom]

Nah, they only look pasty like that. I can't speak on statistics of non-Caucasians securing student loans to law schools, though.

It all started so innocently.

[palegray.net]

It was the heady days of the dot com era, and I was but a wee lad hacking away in my bedroom. One fateful day I stumbled upon a website called Napster [wikipedia.org], and soon began downloading hordes of ill-gotten music. Before long, my insatiable craving for tunes led me to buy more hard drives, then a RAID enclosure, then an enterprise-level SAN... I should have seen the warning signs.

I gradually withdrew from my friends and family, unable to control my urge for more tunes. I knew it was wrong, but it felt so... right. I began using other filesharing software, and soon experienced strange hallucinations involving limes and wires. I told a friend about it, and he gave me some pills to help me sleep better at night. The troubling dreams and hallucinations faded, but now I couldn't stop taking the pills. Chain smoking, heavy drinking, and chronic pacing soon developed. I was having trouble concentrating on anything other than file swapping, and began using crack cocaine to improve my focus. My teeth began to loosen in their sockets, and I was fired from work after failing a drug test.

Now I live on the streets, feeding my addiction through unsecured wireless hotspots that I access through a Pentium 90 connected to an exercise bike generator. My crack cocaine consumption has skyrocketed due to my need to constantly pedal the bike lest my rig lose power. Heed my warning: sharing and downloading music will ruin your life! Contact your local RIAA liason to seek treatment immediately. It's not too late... friends don't let friends use filesharing software.

Training?

[ezwip]

If you have not seen the video you can search for it on piratebay.org

Re:It all started so innocently.

[garett_spencley]

"Now I live on the streets, feeding my addiction through unsecured wireless hotspots that I access through a Pentium 90 connected to an exercise bike generator. My crack cocaine consumption has skyrocketed due to my need to constantly pedal the bike lest my rig lose power"

Well on the bright side, at least you're staying in shape ...

Re:It all started so innocently.

[Anonymous Coward]

through a Pentium 90 connected to an exercise bike generator.

Well, at least you're carbon neutral.

Re:You know what?

[mdenham]

Considering how I don't listen to any (well, hardly any - "Still Alive" is catchy) music newer than about 1987, how about you just burn me a "Best of Black Sabbath" album and I'll write you a check for $6.95?

Re:More on the Lawyer war

[QCompson]

One more attack by the Lawyers on the rest of society. It's them against us and they write all the law and sit in judgment on those laws. The end result is less and less liberty and justice. If you even speak out against them you are branded a terrorist by their filthy guild.

Filthy lawyers. Too bad there isn't a group of people, knowledgeable about law, who would defend you against these evil scum lawyers... you know, some sort of protectors who would present a defense against these bloodthirsty prosecuting attorneys and the corrupt legal system.

Re:You know what?

[The Ultimate Fartkno]

I'll do you one better. You go here...

http://thepiratebay.org/tor/3678098/Black_Sabbath-The_Best_Of_Black_Sabbath-2CD-(Remastered)-2007-EO [thepiratebay.org] ...and download it yourself. You burn it and send Sabbath a check, as I had nothing to do with it and have no claim to their cash. If the boys in the band like their arrangement with the label then they'll kick back some of the money. If not, then their beef is with the suits. Either way, I'm okay with it.

However, you should be warned that by downloading that torrent you're supporting communism, AIDS, baby rape, and late fees at video stores. I hope you're happy with yourself, you amoral hooligan.

Re:While it may be true

[Anonymous Coward]

"If they [RIAA} want to fight organized crime,.."

Family doesn't fight family - capish?

More info from Gizmodo

[DigitAl56K]

Gizmodo [gizmodo.com] wrote:

This is a leaked official RIAA training video produced with the National District Attorneys Association telling U.S. prosecutors why they should bust music pirates: Because it'll lead them to "everything from handguns to large quantities of cocaine [and] marijuana," not to mention terrorists and murderers!

Like the author of TFA, I haven't seen the video (yet), but I'd hope conversations with members of the judicial system go something like this:

RIAA: "When we followed leads gathered in the process of prosecuting people for piracy we found other people we could prosecute for drug possession, terrorism, and murder!"

J: "Are you trying to say that the people you originally investigated were guilty of drug possession, terrorism, and murder, and that all people you intend to have prosecuted for piracy will also be guilty of drug possession, terrorism, and murder?"

RIAA: "Well, erm.. no..."

J: "So.. what are you saying?"

RIAA: "Well, piracy could benefit drug dealers, terrorists, and murderers, and so you should prosecute pirates with heavy penalties!"

J: "Have you filed charges against, say, The Pirate Bay, for sponsoring drug dealing, terrorism, and murder?"
RIAA: "Well... no..."

J: "Wouldn't you say that anybody providing a service to unknown clients, e.g. a website, may quite innocently service drug dealers, terrorists, and murderers in exactly the same way it would service law abiding citizens, making just as much differentiation between the two as your local laundromat?"

RIAA: "Ummm... we need a recess..."

Re:How?

[bladesjester]

How will they pursue piracy cases without a Navy?

With law Ninjas

if you're just a troll

[circletimessquare]

and you're misrepresenting yourself for fun, you rock dude

if you are actually who you say you are, you rock dude

Relax

[fahrbot-bot]

It argues they should pursue piracy cases because it leads to bigger and badder wares, like handguns, drugs, terrorist orgs, and hardcore repeat offender criminals.

Relax, the RIAA is just speaking from *personal* experience. Pursuing piracy cases has lead them to become hardcore repeat offender criminals. The video is a *warning* : if it can happen to them, it can happen to you - ooooooooo

Re:I dont understand...

[palegray.net]

The first hit (single) is always free...

WMD?

[Duncan Blackthorne]

Bittorrent == WMD (Weapon of Mass Downloading)?

Re:That solves everything!

[Jarik_Tentsu]

In future news...

George W. Bush: We have EVIDENCE that Sweden is hosting the servers of mass destruction owned by the notorious terrorist organisation, The Pirate Bay! Sweden is refusing to shutdown this evil group, so we must invade them to maintain peace in the world!

Random Person: But Mr. President...what does file-sharing have to do with terrorism?

George W. Bush: You must have missed that informative video presented by our friends, the RIAA linking file-sharing to terrorism. These 'torrents' can cause mass destruction and have already resulted in billions of dollars of damage to our economy and this is the beginning to them...torture, rape and murder is what is to come! We must liberate the internet from the tyranny and dictatorship of these file-sharers!

*Post-War with Sweden*

George W. Bush: I don't understand! We flattened every single server cluster in the country and Pirate Bay is up again...!

CIA: It seems they have multiple mirrors across the globe.

George W. Bush: They're all terrorist supporters! NUKE THEM ALL!

~Jarik

Re:In the nicest way possible...

[rk]

While I hate the RIAA bastards, too, I really found this comment hideously offensive.

Do you have any idea how valuable a truck full of blank media is? What a shameless waste.

Re:Muhahahahaha

[ArcherB]

A CD today, tomorrow the world! arrrrrrrrrrr....

Exactly! Who would have thought of downloading a Bangles tune as a gateway drug?

Re:That solves everything!

[superash]

Pirate Bay's reply to George W. Bush - "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"

Re:gateway crime misinformation

[dbIII]

we should stop the music piracy by stopping the music

You can't stop the music. Nobody can stop the music. Take the cold from snow. Tell the trees, don't grow. Tell the wind, don't blow, 'cause it's easier.

Re:How?

[calebt3]

Nations might not approve them piggybacking on the undersea fiber bandwidth.

You misunderstand

[einhverfr]

Going after piracy cases leads to terrorist organizations-- you know, organizations which terrorize people.

What they mean is that going after piracy helps bolster one of these organizations, known as the RIAA.....

Re:gateway crime misinformation

[Mr. Roadkill]

Yeah, I know you were quoting Weird Al, but the Alice's Restaurant thing was too good to pass up.

You can get any thing you want at Jon Lech Johansen's Restaurant (Excluding Jonny...)
.
.
"And creating a nuisance", and they all came back and sat next to me on the Group W bench, talking about father raping and selling crack and operating torrent trackers and all kinds of groovy stuff..."

Is that the smell of a brand new Slashdot Meme, perhaps? Or just of Arlo throwing up in disgust?

I can see it now...

[Landshark17]

*two brothers, Billy and Timmy come home, Billy is listening to his iPod*

Mom: Billy, did you legally obtain all the music on that iPod?
Billy: Yes, mom.
Mom: Mrs. Johnson told me her son lent you a CD... you know that's piracy!
Billy: But, mom!
Mom: No "buts"! You're grounded and no internet for you until we're sure the RIAA isn't tapping our computer!
Billy: But Timmy stabbed a kid at school today!
Timmy: The voices tell me to hurt people.
Mom: Did he violate international copyright law?
Billy: There were cops and an ambulence and everything!
Mom: You didn't answer my question.
Billy: No. He didn't.
Mom: That's right. Now you go to your room. Timmy, would you like some ice cream?
Timmy: I want to burn things.

Re:Gateway Drug?

[Creepy Crawler]

A Gateway drug? But my PC is a Dell.

Re:That solves everything!

[KDR_11k]

I thought when you said actual piracy you meant boarding freighters, killing the crew and taking their valuables. I can see how that might lead to more violent crimes.

Re:It all started so innocently.

[song-of-the-pogo]

Well on the bright side, at least you're staying in shape ...

and carbon neutral

Re:Sweden's neutral!

[me at werk]

I can see Bush figuring that attacking Sweden would be a piece of cake, seeing as how they're a neutral country with no army [nytimes.com].

Tell my wife I said... Hello.

Re:Muhahahahaha

[Big Nothing]

Actually, they're dead on; I've been file sharing for a few years now and I am thinking of escalating to international terrorism and heroin distribution. It just feels like a natural next step.

Re:That solves everything!

[Gandalf_Greyhame]

So Comcast aren't limiting their "unlimited" broadband service - they are fighting terrorism

Re:Here We Go Again

[dintech]

As soon as I get home... :)

Re:Sweden's neutral!

[Anzya]

Actually, Swedens official strategy for an invasion is to only hold out long enough to allow all our milita to run into the woods and get armed. After that: guerilla/terrorist warfare for all :)

A tactic I belive USA in Iraq called unfair ;)

Re:Sweden's neutral!

[Laughing Pigeon]

While the Viggens and Griphens do not look so fancy

Contrary to their vixens though...

This is one "neutral" country I will definitely not f*** with

Your obviously not familiar with those yet!

Re:Sweden's neutral!

[stupidflanders]

The Viet Cong [wikipedia.org] held off pretty darn well without the tools of "modern warfare" in 'Nam. Guerilla warfare [wikipedia.org] is amazingly effective in some situations. Even George Washington [washingtonpost.com] used it in the American Revolutionary War [wikipedia.org]:

...he came to understand that what we now know as guerrilla warfare was the only way to fight in the American wild, and he mastered it

I can see it now: Sweede/geeks hiding behind server clusters, plotting raids on Rockstar caches, wearing down the morale of the enemy by constantly playing Hamster Dance.

Re:Sweden's neutral!

[Ozeroc]

"So who makes those knives then?"

    If you're talking about Swiss Army Knives then I guess it would have to be the Swiss, who live in Switzerland, which is a good drive from Sweden.

Re:Muhahahahaha

[robot_love]

Exactly! Who would have thought of downloading a Bangles tune as a gateway drug?

I agree. Surely the desire to download a Bangles tune is indicative of a pre-existing drug problem.

Re:How?

[An ominous Cow art]

Of course all the RIAA'll be able to muster will be ass Clowns .

Re:While it may be true

[poot_rootbeer]

Recording from radio and TV stations that are broadcasting over the air has always been allowed...

It's always been tolerated. "Allowed" is perhaps too strong a word, since there's nothing in copyright law that explicitly affirms one's "right" to create for personal use a permanent copy of a protected work that has been freely distributed.

The RIAA, and MPAA need to go after the big pirates...you know...the ones who are making hundreds of thousands of illegal copies of copyrighted movies and music, and selling them all over the world.

No doubt that large-scale commercial bootlegging is costing them more money than than when I rip a disc to my file server, but one of the primary arguments of the *AA's legal strategy (one which they have yet to provide sufficient proof of, at least to me) is that allowing a work to be freely copied via a P2P network IS large-scale bootlegging. It may only take one upload to permit 10,000 unlawful downloads to happen (again, the proof of this hasn't beens hown).

Re:It actually does solve a lot...

[Anonymous Coward]

Don't attribute to Rand what she clearly didn't invent; whether this should be considered to be to her credit or discredit is another matter.

Unless you want to scrub every quote less than 2000 years old, shut the fuck up. The quote is attributed to Rand because she fucking wrote it. An NO POINT EVER is quoting somebody indicative, suggestive, or even remotely asserting that the quoted person is the originator of the idea expressed, only the manner in which it is stated. Further, Rand wrote Atlas Shrugged in a period of over a decade (40s, 50s) so you might want to consider overlap (30s, 40s). Lastly and by your moronic logic, you just attributed the insight to Hitler you fucking fascist pig.

Re:lol

[justinlee37]

I think it can at least lead to the first one on your list.

Re:Sweden's neutral!

[carps]

"Sweden does have a military- current strength is 65,500 members." I understand they would like to expand, but ever since their forces began computerized recordkeeping they inexplicably can't get over this 65,500 level.

Re:That solves everything!

[cinderblock]

Torrents are an excellent way to distribute WMDs.

The web tells them where all the pieces are. Fanning out, each terrorist has a specific piece to retrieve. Back at the base (that doesn't exist), they reassemble the pieces. Some are discarded because they don't quite fit so they need to go out and get better copies.

Every once in a while, the US pretends to be selling pieces only to turn around and tell them to stop building WMDs. They cut their internet connection temporarily [slashdot.org] until they call the security office and have their service reconnected.

After each WMD is assembled, they are watched and then stored until later when they want to watch that WMD again.

This entire time, they get credit with their group for making copies of all the pieces.

After a very long time, they are simply discarded.

Some WMDs never get completed, no one has the final piece that is needed to complete it, so they sit collecting dust until they are finally discarded.