Following last week's sour review of Indiana Jones, Seamus123 links us to
"A spoiler-free review of the brilliant new Indiana Jones film, The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Much has been made of the revival of the series: is Harrison Ford too old, is Shia LeBeouf any good and can it live up to the three previous movies? All these questions — and some surprising answers — are found in Den of Geek's review." Personally I'll see it no matter what.
I can deal with LeBeouf in this Jones movie but I've already heard (and I hate to sound like Entertainment Tonight) that Spielberg has asked LeBeouf to carry on as the main character in a string of potential sequels.
Could this be good? Maybe. But I sure will lament the loss of Ford. In any event I hope to god that LeBeouf's character doesn't assume Indie's role or character or name directly in the coming movies. I haven't seen Crystal Skull yet so I can't say if they're setting us up for that the end (I hope not).
You know, I love the attitude of Indiana Jones and everything about the character but I'm going to get tired of it if you keep rehashing it. You know, it's ok to try out new things and introduce new personalities. In fact, it's almost required for the audience not to lose their interests. Hell, I wouldn't even mind if Lucas kept stealing high level plot lines from Akira Kurosawa films--so long as I don't get the same thing in 6+ movies of a diluted film franchise.
I joked with my roommates that we're not far from Lucas re-releasing a "Special Edition" of The Last Crusade where River Phoenix is superimposed with the image of Shia LeBeouf for continuity (a la Anakin Skywalker's apparition in Return of the Jedi). I know he's not the young version of Indiana Jones but I'm so sick and tired of that kind of stuff. Where's Drew Berrymore so she can step in and convince Lucas we should take this chance to replace all the scary whips in Indiana Jones with licorice sticks.
"Where's Drew Berrymore so she can step in and convince Lucas we should take this chance to replace all the scary whips in Indiana Jones with licorice sticks"
Uh... I assune you mean Drew Barrymore. Drew Berrymore's a _completely_ different actress and trust me, she wouldn't be asking for any whips to be removed...
"Meesa no wait for poodoo reviews! Meesa gonna give bigsa clink-clink to franchise rightawaysa! What could go wrongsa?"
I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of English teachers suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.
It's a shame there won't be a Marcus Brody role in this one, as the actor died a few years after the Last Crusade. One of the funniest scenes in the trilogy was from this one:
Elsa: It's perfectly obvious where the pages are... he's given them to Marcus Brody.
Henry: Marcus?! You didn't drag poor Marcus along did you? He's not up to the challenge.
Donovan: He sticks out like a sore thumb. We'll find him.
Indy: The hell you will! He's got a two day head start on you, which is more than he needs. Brody's got friends in every town and village from here to the Sudan, he speaks a dozen languages, knows every local custom, he'll blend in, disappear, you'll never see him again. With any luck, he's got the grail already.
(next scene)
(Brody disembarks from the train along with the other passengers, a cross-section of Arabs and Turks.)
Brody: Is there anyone here who speaks English? Or maybe even ancient Greek?
I don't know about you guys, but when I see the ending of this movie, I guarantee that I won't be surprised. Hollywood has become too predictable. The only time I've ever been surprised by a movie ending was "The Sixth Sense". Even "Crying Game" didn't surprise me because I recognized the actor from "Stargate".
When I do know the ending from hearing it from others, it has no affect on my enjoyment of the movie. Great film making is great film making. Everyone knew the ending of "Titanic" but it is the biggest blockbuster ever.
I want to know everything about the movie before I go a spend $10 on a ticket to see it. Nothing pisses me off more than going out with the wife and spending $20 on shit.
When I do know the ending from hearing it from others, it has no affect on my enjoyment of the movie. Great film making is great film making. Everyone knew the ending of "Titanic" but it is the biggest blockbuster ever.
I only partly agree. It depends on the movie. A film like the 6th sense rides on the surprise and thus gives you a different experience that you now will never have. Many other movies do not depend on the twists and turns of the story, like LotR. Many people enjoyed it even though it was clear what would happen.
Many movies are just a trip from A to B, like LotR. You have a ring, you need to get rid of it and that is what happens. Other movies, like the sixt sense, the change of direction in the story is the goal of the storyteller.
Yes, American movies seldom use the twist to suddenly point in a complete different direction. Most of the time they just sidestep a bit, or they go completely overboard and do more turns then a drunken balerina. One thing you often need not to do is think and that is what those plot twists need.
You had the ending at the 1st minutes, but the real meaning of it (very different from your 1st idea) in the last ones. So you didnt got "the ending" (all of it, image and meaning) till the film ends, that was one of the things that made that movie great.
As far as "woa" movies go. Arlington Road was probably the one that caught me the most off guard. But so did Fight Club. No one says you have to watch NEW movies. I'll hear about an obscure older movie and see if I can find it somewhere there are a ton of Independent Films that never got exposure because they predated the internet.
One of my favorite movies is The Man from Earth. Simple, 0 CGI and it's a great discussion and there's even a small plot twist at the end.
There was only one death I wanted to see. The sight of Jack's cold, dead body sinking into that dark, shark-infested ocean made that entire interminable movie worth seeing. The only thing that would have made it better would be if the sharks had lasers to cook him first.
Even more amusing is the IMDB entry:
Jack Dawson was a character in the hit movie "Titanic" in 1997. His love was with Rose DeWitt Butiker, a first class rich person. Jack was third class. Jack got on the boat by winning a poker game with his two buddies. While Jack was on the Titanic, he was arrested as the boat began to sink, but Rose came to save him. Jack died on April 15, 1912, after the Titanic sank because of hypothermia.
Apparently the Titanic sank because of hypothermia. Poor ship just needed a blanket and a Cup O' Noodles.
[spoiler:]
There's a damned giant flying saucer, that has nothing to do here and completely ruins the franchise.
WTF? Did Spielberg run out of ancient culture to use as a historical background to Indy's adventure, so he was desperate to put some E.T. in there ?
How is a UFO more unbelievable than a vengeful god who sends ghosts to turn Nazis aflame when you open a stupid trunk? The idea that these "gods" were actually ETs didn't start with Stargate.
How is a UFO more unbelievable than a vengeful god
It just doesn't fit in the mood which was set by the franchise. I'm watching Indiana Jones movies to see exotic and/or ancient civilisation and mythologies ; not a damned E.T. which is missing one last part to be able to finally phone home. (Unless the movie is expressly advertised as a Indiana Jones / E.T. crossover).
An UFO is as much appropriate in a franchise which up to now focused on ancient civilisation and magic, as it would be in, say, a Fantasy movie such as Conan, LOTR, Harry Potter, etc...
I just watched "The Big Sleep" the other night -- a classic noir with Bogart & Bacall. A great movie, but I defy anyone to explain even some of the major plot points.
Apparently, even the screenwriters couldn't figure out who killed one of the characters (the chauffeur). So they called Raymond Chandler, the author of the book, and he said he couldn't figure it out either.
There's nothing sadder than adults that go to a children's movie and then are surprised when the movie is "childish." My 6 year-old son thought the movie was great, and I thought that the movie was surprisingly good considering it is a movie featuring a talking semi-truck.
The reality of the situation is that the Transformers cartoon was only good because a) you were a kid, and b) the alternatives were shows like the Smurfs.
"A conscious decision in production was made to steer clear of CGI effects when possible and perform stunts the old-fashioned way"
Thank god. CGI made Star Wars 3 one of the worst movies I've ever seen. "This chair doesn't look quite right, can you paint it orange?" "I'll just make a quick 3d model of it instead. You know -- to ensure the movie doesn't look too real."
Wow, you took the words right out of my mouth. Well, the Thank god part. I really think directors need to stick to using "real" effects instead of cgi simulations. We can still tell the difference, so all it does is interrupt the movie and make me aware that I'm really watching a movie. The goal should be to immerse the viewer, no matter how outlandish the plot may be, and not to make him say 'wow, that looked so fake.' And while I'm at it, I'd rather see some sort of puppet/animatron than a cgi character to be completely honest, however, LOTR did a good job with Gollum.
I have no doubt this movie will be a huge cash cow.
However, I have absolutely no understanding why.
Please can someone explain to me, why that when the 1st Star Wars Prequel was widely regarded as a crime against celluloid, and the 2nd Prequel proved, if anything, to be even worse that the 1st, that anyone at all went to see the 3rd Prequel.
George Lucas is a filmmaker that has made an extremely large amount of money based on a very small number of good films made more than 20 years ago, while the majority of his work is very poor indeed. One might also say that for Spielberg too.
If you have high expectations for this movie, then might I suggest that you are possibly suffering from amnesia, or are 5.
Please can someone explain to me, why that when the 1st Star Wars Prequel was widely regarded as a crime against celluloid, and the 2nd Prequel proved, if anything, to be even worse that the 1st, that anyone at all went to see the 3rd Prequel.
Because The original Star wars trilogy were some of the most watchable movies ever (note not the best) and the prequels were constantly compared to them and were not as good.... but compared with the rubbish touted by the studios nowadays they were still very watchable...
The original Star wars trilogy were some of the most watchable movies ever...
Yes, because Lucas' directors took his stories and told him to take a hike over the implementation. Hopefully, Spielberg has laid it on the line to George here. If ESB had been left to Lucas, the thing would have sucked like a black hole. Not even light would have escaped, and I shudder to think at what we would have lost.
The special effects were better in the originals (they actually looked real, and they actually were special
Why? Just because of the first two words in the title? That, frankly, is a piss-poor reason to see a movie.
Yours is the exact attitude that causes movie studios to continue producing terrible sequels and re-makes instead of movies that are worth watching. Why innovate when you can imitate for cheaper and people will eat it up anyway, right?
I am very sorry Mister Rossellini. I solemnly promise that from now on I will carefully choose movies to watch in order to educate my poor soul.
Who cares that Hollywood spits out a ton of shit, there are quality movies in circulation anyway. But if I want to slip back in my 12 years old self I go and see 'crap' movies like this, or even Rocky VI. Why? Because.
That, frankly, is a piss-poor reason to see a movie.
How did you come to that conclusion? It is the fourth film in a franchise that has produced, at the very least, some entertaining movies.
And if there is imitation going on, it is all the people from the first three imitating themselves. This isn't some Flavor of the Month franchise that they handed to a no name director because the guy that handled the first one moved on to bigger and better things. This is the team that brought us one of the most iconic action movies of recent times taking another stab at the character.
In my book, that's a damn good reason to see a movie.
Yes, even if it turns out to be crap. How am I going to know until I see it? Reviewers? (insert sounds of maniacal laughter)
I understand what you are trying to say, and with almost any other sequel (hell, any other movie) released lately I would be agreeing with you, but in this case I think your ire is misdirected.
If someone enjoyed the previous movies, then seeing the sequels just because of the name is a perfect reason to see them. What else should you base your desire to see a movie on? Critic reviews? BS. Friend's word-of-mouth? Even more BS. Budget size? BS. Director, Producer, Studio? Wrong again. They all have their own hits and misses.
There is no better reason to see a movie than if you saw a first version and liked it, then of course you should see the next entries.
That would be like saying I liked this can of Chicken Noodle soup, but I'm going to wait and see what Julia Child thinks of this next can before I warm it up.
I'm not saying you have to automatically like the sequel, but it sure as hell is a good enough reason to see them.
Actually, I don't think so, though I can see why you say that. I'm obviously biased here because I'm a big Ford fan, but I guess a guy like that, especially with a character like that, is exactly what it takes to pull it off. Like the classic scene where he decides he can't be bothered by the ninja, and instead just shrugs and pulls his gun. There are quite a number of little moments like that, where he reveals that Indy Jones is just a normal human and not a superhero like John McClane.
that's a vomit-inducing puff piece. I only managed to read the first three paragraphs before my gag reflex kicked in and I had to look away for a while.
I can only take so much sugar in my reading material.
Most if not all of the Crystal Skulls are fake artifacts. All of the ones tested date to the 19th century.
The most famous one, the Mitchell-Hedges skull has not been allowed to be studied, but it was reportedly found in Lubaantun in Belize (when it was British Honduras). The problem is, no one acknowledges the finder, Anna Mitchell-Hedges was at the dig, though later her adopted father said in his autobiography (I think) the skull was at least 3600 years old. I severely doubt that it is authentic and believe it is more of a money/attention grab, but it fits well with Indiana Jones since all of the movies have been about mythological objects that may or may not be real.
Shia LeBeouf to Carry on the Franchise? (Score:5, Interesting)
Could this be good? Maybe. But I sure will lament the loss of Ford. In any event I hope to god that LeBeouf's character doesn't assume Indie's role or character or name directly in the coming movies. I haven't seen Crystal Skull yet so I can't say if they're setting us up for that the end (I hope not).
You know, I love the attitude of Indiana Jones and everything about the character but I'm going to get tired of it if you keep rehashing it. You know, it's ok to try out new things and introduce new personalities. In fact, it's almost required for the audience not to lose their interests. Hell, I wouldn't even mind if Lucas kept stealing high level plot lines from Akira Kurosawa films--so long as I don't get the same thing in 6+ movies of a diluted film franchise.
I joked with my roommates that we're not far from Lucas re-releasing a "Special Edition" of The Last Crusade where River Phoenix is superimposed with the image of Shia LeBeouf for continuity (a la Anakin Skywalker's apparition in Return of the Jedi). I know he's not the young version of Indiana Jones but I'm so sick and tired of that kind of stuff. Where's Drew Berrymore so she can step in and convince Lucas we should take this chance to replace all the scary whips in Indiana Jones with licorice sticks.
Re:Shia LeBeouf to Carry on the Franchise? (Score:5, Funny)
Parent
Re:Shia LeBeouf to Carry on the Franchise? (Score:5, Funny)
Parent
Re:Shia LeBeouf to Carry on the Franchise? (Score:5, Funny)
Uh... I assune you mean Drew Barrymore. Drew Berrymore's a _completely_ different actress and trust me, she wouldn't be asking for any whips to be removed...
Parent
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Hey Indy! Hey Indy! We're going to Candy Mountain! Candy Mountain! Come on, Indy!
[Indiana Jones ends up in a dark cave.]
Oh, they took my kidney.
What a sad excuse for an Indiana Jones movie that would be....
Meesa gonna see it too! (Score:5, Funny)
Meesa no wait for poodoo reviews! Meesa gonna give bigsa clink-clink to franchise rightawaysa! What could go wrongsa?
Re:Meesa gonna see it too! (Score:5, Funny)
I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of English teachers suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.
Parent
Re:Meesa gonna see it too! (Score:5, Funny)
Parent
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
RIP Denholm Elliott (Score:5, Funny)
Elsa: It's perfectly obvious where the pages are... he's given them to Marcus Brody.
Henry: Marcus?! You didn't drag poor Marcus along did you? He's not up to the challenge.
Donovan: He sticks out like a sore thumb. We'll find him.
Indy: The hell you will! He's got a two day head start on you, which is more than he needs. Brody's got friends in every town and village from here to the Sudan, he speaks a dozen languages, knows every local custom, he'll blend in, disappear, you'll never see him again. With any luck, he's got the grail already.
(next scene)
(Brody disembarks from the train along with the other passengers, a cross-section of Arabs and Turks.)
Brody: Is there anyone here who speaks English? Or maybe even ancient Greek?
Re: (Score:3, Informative)
An hommage to W. C. Fields.
rj
No matter what? (Score:5, Funny)
Then the terrorists have already won
Spoiiler Free ...HA! (Score:5, Insightful)
When I do know the ending from hearing it from others, it has no affect on my enjoyment of the movie. Great film making is great film making. Everyone knew the ending of "Titanic" but it is the biggest blockbuster ever.
I want to know everything about the movie before I go a spend $10 on a ticket to see it. Nothing pisses me off more than going out with the wife and spending $20 on shit.
Re:Spoiiler Free ...HA! (Score:5, Insightful)
Many other movies do not depend on the twists and turns of the story, like LotR. Many people enjoyed it even though it was clear what would happen.
Many movies are just a trip from A to B, like LotR. You have a ring, you need to get rid of it and that is what happens. Other movies, like the sixt sense, the change of direction in the story is the goal of the storyteller.
Yes, American movies seldom use the twist to suddenly point in a complete different direction. Most of the time they just sidestep a bit, or they go completely overboard and do more turns then a drunken balerina. One thing you often need not to do is think and that is what those plot twists need.
Parent
Re:Memento (Score:4, Insightful)
Parent
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:Spoiiler Free ...HA! (Score:5, Interesting)
One of my favorite movies is The Man from Earth. Simple, 0 CGI and it's a great discussion and there's even a small plot twist at the end.
Parent
Re: (Score:3, Informative)
The Crying Game wasn't really a Hollywood film anyway.
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
* spoiler alert! (Was I supposed to say that first?)
Re:Spoiiler Free ...HA! (Score:5, Funny)
Even more amusing is the IMDB entry:
Apparently the Titanic sank because of hypothermia. Poor ship just needed a blanket and a Cup O' Noodles.
Parent
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Spoiiler Free ...HA! (Score:4, Funny)
Parent
Re:You *WILL* be surprised [spoilers] (Score:4, Interesting)
Parent
I doesn't fit with the franchise style. (Score:3, Insightful)
How is a UFO more unbelievable than a vengeful god
It just doesn't fit in the mood which was set by the franchise. I'm watching Indiana Jones movies to see exotic and/or ancient civilisation and mythologies ; not a damned E.T. which is missing one last part to be able to finally phone home. (Unless the movie is expressly advertised as a Indiana Jones / E.T. crossover).
An UFO is as much appropriate in a franchise which up to now focused on ancient civilisation and magic, as it would be in, say, a Fantasy movie such as Conan, LOTR, Harry Potter, etc...
What's
Re: (Score:3, Informative)
Apparently, even the screenwriters couldn't figure out who killed one of the characters (the chauffeur). So they called Raymond Chandler, the author of the book, and he said he couldn't figure it out either.
Shia The Cow (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Shia The Cow (Score:5, Funny)
You call him "Doctor Jones", doll!
Parent
Re: (Score:3, Interesting)
There's nothing sadder than adults that go to a children's movie and then are surprised when the movie is "childish." My 6 year-old son thought the movie was great, and I thought that the movie was surprisingly good considering it is a movie featuring a talking semi-truck.
The reality of the situation is that the Transformers cartoon was only good because a) you were a kid, and b) the alternatives were shows like the Smurfs.
CGI (Score:5, Insightful)
Thank god. CGI made Star Wars 3 one of the worst movies I've ever seen. "This chair doesn't look quite right, can you paint it orange?" "I'll just make a quick 3d model of it instead. You know -- to ensure the movie doesn't look too real."
Re:CGI (Score:5, Insightful)
I really think directors need to stick to using "real" effects instead of cgi simulations. We can still tell the difference, so all it does is interrupt the movie and make me aware that I'm really watching a movie. The goal should be to immerse the viewer, no matter how outlandish the plot may be, and not to make him say 'wow, that looked so fake.' And while I'm at it, I'd rather see some sort of puppet/animatron than a cgi character to be completely honest, however, LOTR did a good job with Gollum.
Parent
Re:CGI (Score:4, Insightful)
The move back to "the old-fashioned way" is a wise choice. I do not want a CGI Ford bouncing around like Yoda. Even Del Toro (for the Hobbit) seems to agree http://www.ifitsmovies.com/2008/04/28/guillermo-del-toro-talks-the-hobbit-plus-its-sequel/ [ifitsmovies.com].
And why not CGI? Well, look at Blade Runner, Alien, and the original Star Wars movies. They felt so real because the models were real.
Parent
Spoiler (Score:5, Funny)
Short -term memory syndrome. (Score:3, Interesting)
However, I have absolutely no understanding why.
Please can someone explain to me, why that when the 1st Star Wars Prequel was widely regarded as a crime against celluloid, and the 2nd Prequel proved, if anything, to be even worse that the 1st, that anyone at all went to see the 3rd Prequel.
George Lucas is a filmmaker that has made an extremely large amount of money based on a very small number of good films made more than 20 years ago, while the majority of his work is very poor indeed. One might also say that for Spielberg too.
If you have high expectations for this movie, then might I suggest that you are possibly suffering from amnesia, or are 5.
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Morbid curiosity.
Re:Short -term memory syndrome. (Score:4, Insightful)
Parent
Re: (Score:3, Interesting)
Yes, because Lucas' directors took his stories and told him to take a hike over the implementation. Hopefully, Spielberg has laid it on the line to George here. If ESB had been left to Lucas, the thing would have sucked like a black hole. Not even light would have escaped, and I shudder to think at what we would have lost.
The special effects were better in the originals (they actually looked real, and they actually were special
honestly now (Score:4, Insightful)
Why? Just because of the first two words in the title? That, frankly, is a piss-poor reason to see a movie.
Yours is the exact attitude that causes movie studios to continue producing terrible sequels and re-makes instead of movies that are worth watching. Why innovate when you can imitate for cheaper and people will eat it up anyway, right?
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
Who cares that Hollywood spits out a ton of shit, there are quality movies in circulation anyway. But if I want to slip back in my 12 years old self I go and see 'crap' movies like this, or even Rocky VI. Why? Because.
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
Get over yourself, shithead.
Re:honestly now (Score:5, Insightful)
How did you come to that conclusion? It is the fourth film in a franchise that has produced, at the very least, some entertaining movies.
And if there is imitation going on, it is all the people from the first three imitating themselves. This isn't some Flavor of the Month franchise that they handed to a no name director because the guy that handled the first one moved on to bigger and better things. This is the team that brought us one of the most iconic action movies of recent times taking another stab at the character.
In my book, that's a damn good reason to see a movie.
Yes, even if it turns out to be crap. How am I going to know until I see it? Reviewers? (insert sounds of maniacal laughter)
I understand what you are trying to say, and with almost any other sequel (hell, any other movie) released lately I would be agreeing with you, but in this case I think your ire is misdirected.
Parent
Re:honestly now (Score:4, Insightful)
If someone enjoyed the previous movies, then seeing the sequels just because of the name is a perfect reason to see them. What else should you base your desire to see a movie on? Critic reviews? BS. Friend's word-of-mouth? Even more BS. Budget size? BS. Director, Producer, Studio? Wrong again. They all have their own hits and misses.
There is no better reason to see a movie than if you saw a first version and liked it, then of course you should see the next entries.
That would be like saying I liked this can of Chicken Noodle soup, but I'm going to wait and see what Julia Child thinks of this next can before I warm it up.
I'm not saying you have to automatically like the sequel, but it sure as hell is a good enough reason to see them.
Parent
My spoiler-free Review of Indiana Jones (Score:5, Funny)
*whipcrack*
*wisecrack*
*swiiiiiiing*
*punchpunchpunch*
INDY!!!
Dah-nuh-da-da!
Review seems forced... (Score:5, Interesting)
Things like -
He's really old, but that's a GOOD thing!
- just wear thin on me.
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
Like the classic scene where he decides he can't be bothered by the ninja, and instead just shrugs and pulls his gun. There are quite a number of little moments like that, where he reveals that Indy Jones is just a normal human and not a superhero like John McClane.
I guess I'm kinda hop
That's not a review... (Score:4, Insightful)
I can only take so much sugar in my reading material.
Oh rally? (Score:5, Insightful)
OMG by bullshit detector just exploded.
Re: (Score:3, Interesting)
Old (as in "aged") characters: fine. Old (as in "recycled") characters: lame.
Re:Why couldn't they have just left this alone? (Score:4, Funny)
Parent
Re:My review: (Score:5, Interesting)
The most famous one, the Mitchell-Hedges skull has not been allowed to be studied, but it was reportedly found in Lubaantun in Belize (when it was British Honduras). The problem is, no one acknowledges the finder, Anna Mitchell-Hedges was at the dig, though later her adopted father said in his autobiography (I think) the skull was at least 3600 years old. I severely doubt that it is authentic and believe it is more of a money/attention grab, but it fits well with Indiana Jones since all of the movies have been about mythological objects that may or may not be real.
Parent
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)