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Spoiler-Free Review of Indiana Jones 219

Following last week's sour review of Indiana Jones, Seamus123 links us to "A spoiler-free review of the brilliant new Indiana Jones film, The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Much has been made of the revival of the series: is Harrison Ford too old, is Shia LeBeouf any good and can it live up to the three previous movies? All these questions — and some surprising answers — are found in Den of Geek's review." Personally I'll see it no matter what.
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Spoiler-Free Review of Indiana Jones

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  • by eldavojohn ( 898314 ) * <eldavojohn@noSpAM.gmail.com> on Wednesday May 21, 2008 @08:52AM (#23491182) Journal
    I can deal with LeBeouf in this Jones movie but I've already heard (and I hate to sound like Entertainment Tonight) that Spielberg has asked LeBeouf to carry on as the main character in a string of potential sequels.

    Could this be good? Maybe. But I sure will lament the loss of Ford. In any event I hope to god that LeBeouf's character doesn't assume Indie's role or character or name directly in the coming movies. I haven't seen Crystal Skull yet so I can't say if they're setting us up for that the end (I hope not).

    You know, I love the attitude of Indiana Jones and everything about the character but I'm going to get tired of it if you keep rehashing it. You know, it's ok to try out new things and introduce new personalities. In fact, it's almost required for the audience not to lose their interests. Hell, I wouldn't even mind if Lucas kept stealing high level plot lines from Akira Kurosawa films--so long as I don't get the same thing in 6+ movies of a diluted film franchise.

    I joked with my roommates that we're not far from Lucas re-releasing a "Special Edition" of The Last Crusade where River Phoenix is superimposed with the image of Shia LeBeouf for continuity (a la Anakin Skywalker's apparition in Return of the Jedi). I know he's not the young version of Indiana Jones but I'm so sick and tired of that kind of stuff. Where's Drew Berrymore so she can step in and convince Lucas we should take this chance to replace all the scary whips in Indiana Jones with licorice sticks.
  • by owlnation ( 858981 ) on Wednesday May 21, 2008 @09:25AM (#23491520)
    I have no doubt this movie will be a huge cash cow.

    However, I have absolutely no understanding why.

    Please can someone explain to me, why that when the 1st Star Wars Prequel was widely regarded as a crime against celluloid, and the 2nd Prequel proved, if anything, to be even worse that the 1st, that anyone at all went to see the 3rd Prequel.

    George Lucas is a filmmaker that has made an extremely large amount of money based on a very small number of good films made more than 20 years ago, while the majority of his work is very poor indeed. One might also say that for Spielberg too.

    If you have high expectations for this movie, then might I suggest that you are possibly suffering from amnesia, or are 5.
  • by BobMcD ( 601576 ) on Wednesday May 21, 2008 @09:38AM (#23491658)
    Is it just me, or is everything WAY too positive in this 'review'? This is less a critique of the film and more of a plug for it.

    Things like -

    He's really old, but that's a GOOD thing!

    - just wear thin on me.
  • by 0100010001010011 ( 652467 ) on Wednesday May 21, 2008 @09:43AM (#23491748)
    As far as "woa" movies go. Arlington Road was probably the one that caught me the most off guard. But so did Fight Club. No one says you have to watch NEW movies. I'll hear about an obscure older movie and see if I can find it somewhere there are a ton of Independent Films that never got exposure because they predated the internet.

    One of my favorite movies is The Man from Earth. Simple, 0 CGI and it's a great discussion and there's even a small plot twist at the end.
  • Re:My review: (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Creepy ( 93888 ) on Wednesday May 21, 2008 @09:55AM (#23491896) Journal
    Most if not all of the Crystal Skulls are fake artifacts. All of the ones tested date to the 19th century.

        The most famous one, the Mitchell-Hedges skull has not been allowed to be studied, but it was reportedly found in Lubaantun in Belize (when it was British Honduras). The problem is, no one acknowledges the finder, Anna Mitchell-Hedges was at the dig, though later her adopted father said in his autobiography (I think) the skull was at least 3600 years old. I severely doubt that it is authentic and believe it is more of a money/attention grab, but it fits well with Indiana Jones since all of the movies have been about mythological objects that may or may not be real.
  • by segedunum ( 883035 ) on Wednesday May 21, 2008 @11:28AM (#23493124)

    The original Star wars trilogy were some of the most watchable movies ever...
    Yes, because Lucas' directors took his stories and told him to take a hike over the implementation. Hopefully, Spielberg has laid it on the line to George here. If ESB had been left to Lucas, the thing would have sucked like a black hole. Not even light would have escaped, and I shudder to think at what we would have lost.

    The special effects were better in the originals (they actually looked real, and they actually were special because they weren't in every damn bloody scene) and the choreography of the lightsabre fight scenes was far superior. The Sith consisted of two people standing as close together as possible doing that amateurish back and forth sword fighting you did at school, while the background was chock full of as many effects as Lucas could pack in. In ESB, and even RotJ, you have two people in Vader and Luke who really looked as if they wanted to kill each other. No contest. Take a look at what Lucas did to the 'special editions' to try and improve them. A travesty.

    How is romance done in Star Wars films? :

    Leia: I love you.
    Han: I know.

    Tongue firmly planted in cheek. Brilliant. Genius. How is it done in the prequels? I don't know as I've blanked it out of my mind, but watch the second and third films, and I hope you haven't eaten beforehand.

    and the prequels were constantly compared to them and were not as good.... but compared with the rubbish touted by the studios nowadays they were still very watchable ...
    Listen. The only reason why people watched those prequels, and the only reason I stuck around for the third Sith (that's an anagram!) film, was because I got to see how Darth Vader came to be, how he turned to the dark side, how he ended up in the awesome black survival suit and to see the sabre fight and history between Vader and Kanobi.

    That's it, as Vader would say.
  • [spoiler:] There's a damned giant flying saucer, that has nothing to do here and completely ruins the franchise. WTF? Did Spielberg run out of ancient culture to use as a historical background to Indy's adventure, so he was desperate to put some E.T. in there ?
    How is a UFO more unbelievable than a vengeful god who sends ghosts to turn Nazis aflame when you open a stupid trunk? The idea that these "gods" were actually ETs didn't start with Stargate.
  • by Jason Earl ( 1894 ) on Wednesday May 21, 2008 @12:31PM (#23494086) Homepage Journal

    There's nothing sadder than adults that go to a children's movie and then are surprised when the movie is "childish." My 6 year-old son thought the movie was great, and I thought that the movie was surprisingly good considering it is a movie featuring a talking semi-truck.

    The reality of the situation is that the Transformers cartoon was only good because a) you were a kid, and b) the alternatives were shows like the Smurfs.

  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday May 21, 2008 @12:55PM (#23494442)
    This may sound lame ("my brother's sister's boyfriend's doctor says"), but I got the bad news from a nationally syndicated critic who happens to be a total fanboy. Obsessed with DC Comics and Star Wars figurines, etc. etc. He's been doing this for a while, he's generally forgiving with nerd-intended flicks like the recent rush of comic book flicks, and even gave the second F4 flick the benefit of the doubt. But not the new Indy.

    And he's convinced the flush of positive reviews in the past few days is coming from LucasFilms flooding the Internet with mixed messages in order to keep the fanboys to attend at least the first week's screenings. Don't be fooled. This movie's poised to be a serious mega-dud.
  • by Sloppy ( 14984 ) on Wednesday May 21, 2008 @01:58PM (#23495238) Homepage Journal
    I think sequelitis is a symptom of lack of imagination too, but I have just one gripe:

    an embarrassingly aged cast
    WTF? What's wrong with having old actors? People get old in real life, too. Are they embarrassingly aged also? Not fit to be portrayed in a movie?

    Old (as in "aged") characters: fine. Old (as in "recycled") characters: lame.

A morsel of genuine history is a thing so rare as to be always valuable. -- Thomas Jefferson

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