George Carlin Dead of Heart Failure 583
ashamanq was one of many who noted that comedian
George Carlin has died of heart failure. Most famous for his "Seven Words You Can Never Say On TV" routine which resulted in a landmark supreme court ruling, he was a true voice against censorship, and also one of the funniest men ever. He was 71.
Comment removed (Score:5, Funny)
We'll see him again (Score:5, Funny)
He's just gone into the future to the time when the Wyld Stallyns music forms the basis of society.
Re:Those seven words... (Score:5, Funny)
speak for yourself buddy...
_I_ still appreciate tits.
Re:Those seven words... (Score:5, Funny)
Tits is now depreciated.
Re:Those seven words... (Score:4, Funny)
Oh yeah I almost forgot: Cocksucker!
Re:Smiling down. (Score:5, Funny)
I've only got 7 things to say about this tragic loss of one of my favorite guys for humor and social commentary:
Shit......piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker....and tits.
R.I.P. George.
Re:Smiling down. (Score:5, Funny)
And God is patting him on the back saying: "Thanks for trying to clear up the 10 commandments thing".
Other words... (Score:5, Funny)
Temperature at the airport is 73......which is stupid 'cause I don't know anyone that lives at the airport..."
Re:Smiling down. (Score:5, Funny)
Obviously, his soul is smiling down from Joe Pesci's roof, where it got stuck.
And don't forget his favorite cheer: (Score:4, Funny)
Rat shit, bat shit, dirty old twat.
Sixty nine assholes tied in a knot.
Hooray, lizard shit, fuck!
Re:Smiling down. (Score:2, Funny)
I guess you prefer it if we state:
He's probably looking up at us from down there and saying, but it's a dry heat.
Re:God Damnit! (Score:4, Funny)
There are two words, as George would tell you...
"You're fucked"
RIP George...
Re:Those seven words... (Score:4, Funny)
Probably due to George Carlin. He makes an argument for its depreciation in his routine."
"And tits shouldn't even be on the list..I mean, it sounds like a snack!!
New...Nabisco TITS!!
Cheese tits....onion tits....TATER Tits!!
Re:Smiling down. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:God Damnit! (Score:1, Funny)
> I have no more words for this.
I can think of 7
AtlasAxe (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Cock-Sucker (Score:5, Funny)
Well fuck. Who's going to call everyone on their bullshit now?
Re:Smiling down. (Score:5, Funny)
Smiling? I bet not, but if he's got that kind of view, he's probably doing something on us.
Sure wish it'd stop raining.
Re:Semantics (Score:4, Funny)
"I listen very carefully to the safety lecture, especially that part where they teach us how to use the seat belts. Imagine this, here we are, a plane full of grown human beings, many of us partially educated, and they're actually taking time out to describe the intricate workings of a belt buckle."
"'In the unlikely event of a water landing...', Well, what exactly is a water landing? Am I mistaken, or does this sound somewhat similar to crashing into the ocean?!"
"Which brings me to terminal - another unfortunate word to be used in association with air travel. And they use it all over the airport, don't they? Somehow I just can't get hungry at a place called the Terminal Snack bar. But, if you've ever eaten there, you know it IS an appropriate name."
The great thing about Carlin is that it's obvious when he goes overboard for comedy's sake, so his comedy about the obviously overboard is always relevant. Rest in peace, George.
Re:More info for those of us who aren't in the US. (Score:5, Funny)
I wonder if he got his two-minute warning? (Score:5, Funny)
"Two minutes... get your shit together..."
May he rest in peace.
Re:Those seven words... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Smiling down. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Smiling down. (Score:5, Funny)
Why? There are plenty here already.
Layne
Re:Smiling down. (Score:5, Funny)
Reminds me of Vonnegut talking about Asimov:
I am honorary president of the American Humanist Association, having succeeded the late, great, spectacularly prolific writer and scientist, Dr. Isaac Asimov in that essentially functionless capacity. At an A.H.A. memorial service for my predecessor I said, "Isaac is up in Heaven now." That was the funniest thing I could have said to an audience of humanists. It rolled them in the aisles. Mirth! Several minutes had to pass before something resemble solemnity could be restored.
Re:Other words... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Those seven words... (Score:4, Funny)
I really like the new Nabisco Tits. They're my favorite snack.
Jerry Lewis yet lives (Score:0, Funny)
No Justice. No Peace.
Lighten up Francis... (Score:5, Funny)
Keep it funny... here's another random quote: "If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted?"
--George Carlin
Re:de mortuis nil nisi bonum but ... (Score:4, Funny)
man what a bummer (Score:5, Funny)
-George Carlin, Life Is Worth Losing, Beacon Theater, HBO
And now for something completely different... (Score:5, Funny)
"But I do mean that. I mean, I think the word fuck is an important word. It's the beginning of life, and, yet it's a word we use to hurt one other, quite often. And uh, people much wiser than I have said, I'd rather have my son watch a film with two people making love than two people trying to kill one other. And I of course agree. I wish I know who said it first, and I agree with that. But I would like to take it a step further. I would like to substitute the word fuck, for the word kill in all those movie cliches we grew up with.
'Okay Sheriff, we're gonna fuck ya now. But we're gonna fuck ya slow.'
Re:Those seven words... (Score:1, Funny)
Bet you can't have just one...
assumed, GP? (Score:0, Funny)
When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me!
What is GP?
God Bless you George! I guess Jesus needed someone "funny" for the 4th of July party in Heaven.
Re:Smiling down. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Those seven words... (Score:5, Funny)
Depreciation: assets with finite lives lose value over time.
Deprecated: features that are superseded and should be avoided.
Q: What does an 80-year-old have between her tits that an 18-yer-old doesn't?
A: Her bellybutton.
Sounds to me like tits are assets with finite lives that lose their value over time ...
Re:If I were in charge of the networks (Score:3, Funny)
Re:assumed, GP? (Score:1, Funny)
Agreed.
I also sincerely hope that George is having Johnsonville brand bratwursts with Jesus.
Not only that, I hope that the Tooth Fairy gave him any missing back.
Also, I hope he got a nice new infinite mpg Hummer to drive on the gold streets.
Or perhaps he gets a flying sleigh like Santa.
Anyone know if it is crowded up there?
PS, yes, I known that Santa and Jesus have been historically exaggerated.
But the tooth fairy is real. I have proof.
GP stands for God Parent.
Re:Smiling down. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Smiling down. (Score:1, Funny)
As soon as I shove this hot poker up my ass I'm going to chop my dick off.
Re:Smiling down. (Score:5, Funny)
::sound of audience clapping as Carlin takes the stage::
(slight pause as he waits for the applause to die down)
"Why... Why is it that most people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place?"
That was truly one of the greatest facepalm.jpg moments of my life. Suffice to say that the rest of the evening was a bit awkward.
Re:Those seven words... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:And now for something completely different... (Score:5, Funny)
He's in heaven now. (Score:4, Funny)
Bwahahahahaha.
Thanks George for all the laughs.
make sure to ask Jesus for the big porkchop.
Re:And now for something completely different... (Score:4, Funny)
Or maybe we just like playing with language.
For example:
tits tits.
tits tits tits tits.
titstitstitstitstitstitstitstitstitstits
It's such a wonderful word, isn't it? It's not a bad word...It sounds more like a snack. (yeah, yeah, I know...it is!)
Re:And now for something completely different... (Score:5, Funny)
Good sir, I'd like to interrupt you if I may? I think it would be in the best interest of several parties if you would cease this particular discourse on the subject at hand. Specifically, it would be in the best interests of myself, yourself, and the general slashdot reading populace if you were to cease and desist your discussion of this matter. The reason I suggest this, kind sir, is that there are valid emotional reasons for using "swear words" as you call them. Further, it can be argued - nay, has been argued - that the only people who are harmed - that is to say, offended by - swear words are people who have chosen to take offense at such things. As such, the burden for negating the harm resulting from "swear words" lies solely with those offended and not with the perpetrators of said offenses. Furthermore, the concision with which the person swearing can convey their point through swearing is considerably increased over that of more intellectual discourse. For example, if you were to drop a hammer on your toe. Would you stop, think about it rationally and attempt to compose a proper message to convey your pain, frustration or anger? Or would you swear, get it over with, and resume your work? Ponder these points for a few moments, I implore you...
Translation: Shut the fuck up, asshole.
Re:And now for something completely different... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:And now for something completely different... (Score:4, Funny)
The difference between uttering a curse word and assaulting someone and threatening them with death?
Yeah, I just don't see it either. -_-
Re:Smiling down. (Score:3, Funny)
Tut Tut! is that any way to speak around Thomas the Tank Engine?
We will miss you Mr Conductor...
Are we sure he's dead? (Score:4, Funny)
I'm not claiming to have an insight line on the mind of George Carlin but it seems like he'd be the kind of person to announce his death a little early, just so he can stick around for all that follows. And if he didn't do this, he really should have. Nothing would be funnier than seeing his response to comments like "he must be up there now smiling down on us." "What the hell? Who the fuck are you to promote me to your vision of an afterlife just because I made you laugh? Let me tell you something, asshole: when I really do snuff it, if I find out I've got wings and a halo because you liked my seven dirty words routine, I'm coming back and cramming my harp right up your ass."
Re:Smiling down. (Score:3, Funny)
As George would say no they don't always go in threes. They go in a series of ONES!
Re:And now for something completely different... (Score:5, Funny)
Last time someone tried to physically dominate me, I saw them clearly, I rejected them clearly, I got my face broken, I broke their nose and their arm and their ribs, and I went to the hospital happy.
Clearly that's much better than seeing the letters 'F', 'U', 'C', and 'K' appear on a screen.
When I'm confronted with manipulators, and I watch helplessly as they twist words and turn my fellow men into blind idiots, it ruins my whole day and causes me to get into stupid arguments with my girlfriend.
Maybe you should hit her.
Re:Smiling down. (Score:3, Funny)
Look on the bright side.
George probably saved you, in the long run.
71 - he must have died happy (Score:5, Funny)
LEt's send him off with a cheer!! (Score:3, Funny)
Bat shit
Dirty old twat
69 assholes tied in a knot...
Hurray!!!! Lizard shit......FUCK Now, I know you people like to memorize these things so....
--George Carlin
Enough on anti-profanity, more George C. (Score:5, Funny)
I'm new wave, but I'm old school and my inner child is outward bound. I'm a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I'm interactive, I'm hyperactive and from time to time I'm radioactive.
Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, ridin the wave, dodgin the bullet and pushin the envelope. I'm on-point, on-task, on-message and off drugs. I've got no need for coke and speed. I've got no urge to binge and purge. I'm in-the-moment, on-the-edge, over-the-top and under-the-radar. A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistic missionary. A street-wise smart bomb. A top-gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps and run victory laps. I'm a totally ongoing big-foot, slam-dunk, rainmaker with a pro-active outreach. A raging workaholic. A working rageaholic. Out of rehab and in denial!
I've got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda. You can't shut me up. You can't dumb me down because I'm tireless and I'm wireless, I'm an alpha male on beta-blockers.
I'm a non-believer and an over-achiever, laid-back but fashion-forward. Up-front, down-home, low-rent, high-maintenance. Super-sized, long-lasting, high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready and built-to-last! I'm a hands-on, foot-loose, knee-jerk head case pretty maturely post-traumatic and I've got a love-child that sends me hate mail.
But, I'm feeling, I'm caring, I'm healing, I'm sharing-- a supportive, bonding, nurturing primary care-giver. My output is down, but my income is up. I took a short position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash-flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds and I watch trash sports! I'm gender specific, capital intensive, user-friendly and lactose intolerant.
I like rough sex. I like tough love. I use the "F" word in my emails and the software on my hard-drive is hardcore--no soft porn.
I bought a microwave at a mini-mall; I bought a mini-van at a mega-store. I eat fast-food in the slow lane. I'm toll-free, bite-sized, ready-to-wear and I come in all sizes. A fully-equipped, factory-authorized, hospital-tested, clinically-proven, scientifically- formulated medical miracle. I've been pre-wash, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped, vacuum-packed and, I have an unlimited broadband capacity.
I'm a rude dude, but I'm the real deal. Lean and mean! Cocked, locked and ready-to-rock. Rough, tough and hard to bluff. I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide. I've got glide in my stride. Drivin and movin, sailin and spinin, jiving and groovin, wailin and winnin. I don't snooze, so I don't lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hearty and lunch time is crunch time. I'm hangin in, there ain't no doubt and I'm hangin tough, over and out!"
--George Carlin
And now...he's gone.
Re:Love, Freedom, Peace (Score:3, Funny)
My approach to solving this problem would be to create an engineered language which is devoid of emotive terminology and multiple interpretations. Think 1984.
After this language existed, I would make it mandatory for all citizens to be educated in it, in the same way we currently mandate that citizens must learn math.
Then, I would isolate certain sectors of mass communication that must communicate using only this language. Such things as laws, advertising, political speech. For example, it should be impossible for a marketing person to use this language to make you buy a lemon because they convinced you it was "Sexy", or for a politician to make you vote for a bill you don't understand because it makes you "Patriotic".
I wouldn't make any efforts to squash other languages out of existence, but rather have them exist in parallel to the engineered language, leaving ample means for people to communicate with each other in an artistic and evocative fashion through appropriate channels.
After this was concluded, it would still be possible for individuals to break the rules given sufficient justification, but people would not have to wander the world constantly bombarded with propaganda in a systematic fashion the way they do now as though it was no big deal.
I could expand on this for hours on end, dealing with edge cases till the cows come home, but that's the general idea.
Re:And now for something completely different... (Score:1, Funny)
Fuck the ump! Fuck the ump! Fuck the ump!
Re:Smiling down. (Score:3, Funny)