North Pole Ice On Track To Melt By September? 978
phobos13013 writes "Recently released evidence is showing the North Pole ice is melting at the highest rate ever recorded. As a result, the Pole may be completely ice-free at the surface and composed of nothing but open water by September. As reported in September of last year, the Northwest Passage was ice-free for the first time known to man. The implications of this, as well as the causes, are still being debated. Are global warming experts just short-sighted alarmists? Are we heading for a global ice age? Or is the increase in global mean temperature having an effect on our planet?"
santa? (Score:5, Funny)
Oh no! What will happen to santa and his elves, and the reindeer? Won't someone think of the reindeer?
A modest proposal... (Score:3, Funny)
Finally (Score:5, Funny)
It's about fucking time those damn penguins get what they deserve.
Re:You know who I feel sorry for? (Score:5, Funny)
But lack of polar bears is good for seals. screw those polar bears and their radical bear agenda!
Good riddance (Score:1, Funny)
Re:You know who I feel sorry for? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:You know who I feel sorry for? (Score:5, Funny)
Without these natural predators the population of Arctic researchers could reach dangerous levels.
Re:1421 (Score:5, Funny)
Just read a great book about China's 'discovery' of the America around 1421 and they were able to get their junks around Greenland, a feat not otherwise possible, but it was warm that year.
Just think how much they've progressed, now they can get their junks all the way to Walmart!
Re:santa? (Score:5, Funny)
But Mommy I have been good this year.
Sorry Billy Santa dies from global warming, and it all because you had to go back to the house from school because you forgot your lunch.
Time to Grow Up (Score:4, Funny)
It's almost like mother nature is giving humanity some 'gentle' urging to move-out and get our own place.
Pretty soon, however, if we don't get our ass in gear I have a feeling we might find all our stuff thrown out on the front lawn...if you follow the analogy.
Re:Finally (Score:5, Funny)
Whitewash. (Score:4, Funny)
It is comical to me that in the past decade, I've seen the headlines purchased by oil company spin doctors go from:
Global Warming: Fact or Fiction?
to
Global Warming: Are We Causing It?
to
Global Warming: What Can We Do About It?
to
Antarctica: The New Hawaii
Re:You know who I feel sorry for? (Score:5, Funny)
They live in areas around which, according to the article, have plenty of ice...
Damn...That must be why my freezer keeps growling at me.
Re:You know who I feel sorry for? (Score:3, Funny)
Well, so much for my well-timed Colbert Report reference...
Re:You know who I feel sorry for? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:You know who I feel sorry for? (Score:2, Funny)
hmmm,well,what does seal taste like?
I understand it makes very good coats.
I think we can take care of "too many seals".
Re:Finally (Score:1, Funny)
Do you hear that?
It's the sound of that joke going way over your head.
Re:1421 (Score:2, Funny)
There is no evidence that supports that hypothesis.
You picked a great author, btw:
Menzies was born in London, England, though in his book he claims to have been born in China, which he has admitted is false. This has since been rectified in his recent books
Re:You know who I feel sorry for? (Score:4, Funny)
Stop overreacting. With the opening of the Northwest Passage, additional trade routes will open. And you know what that means!
More pirates!
Re:santa? (Score:3, Funny)
Santa has used an under(frozen)sea base for at least the last 20 years. It's attached directly to the physical core of the earth with elven chain. Don't worry about Santa, he'll be fine.
Great News! (Score:1, Funny)
This is great news for international shipping.
Just when fuel prices are skyrocketing, global commerce gets a 50% break on shipping distances.
Comment removed (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Time to Grow Up (Score:5, Funny)
Almost.
But not quite.
Don't anthropomorphise Mother Nature. She hates it when you do that.
This was all expected... (Score:4, Funny)
After the ice melts, the poles flip. Eventually we'll be in the next iceage... It has nothing to due with my SUV or your solar panels, it is the nature of the cycle of destruction. After the mass extinction, the strong will survive and slowly rebuild. Our Children and generations more will forget what came before. They will worship our relics and call God by his new name: ComPewTur
Am I kidding? Maybe, Maybe not...
Re:You know who I feel sorry for? (Score:5, Funny)
Those seals are not radial! They exhibit bilateral symmetry!
Note: the above is a marine biology joke. If you have not majored in Marine Biology, please go back to college and complete enough courses until the above is funny in context.
Re:Cryosphere Chart (Score:5, Funny)
My friends refer to it a climate-porn...
Can't say I strongly disagree since it has the feel of watching a loooong slow train wreck...
Are you implying that your porn resembles a loooong slow train wreck? I think you're doing it wrong.
Sing... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:santa? (Score:5, Funny)
Santa's business has since long been outsourced. Just look at the gifts the kids get, and how many of them that are Made In China.
Re:You know who I feel sorry for? (Score:5, Funny)
And, plankton take solar energy and convert it into stored food energy.
So, Global Warming = Less Polar Bears = More Seals = Less Cod = More Plankton = More Solar Conversion = Global Cooling!!!!
Re:bullshit (Score:4, Funny)
Then please, please tell me why anyone thinks Al Gore is remotely relevant on the issue of climate change!!!
Because he invented the Internet, silly.
Re:Time to Grow Up (Score:3, Funny)
Wasn't that what happened with Mars? Where are we supposed to go this time?
Re:1421 (Score:4, Funny)
Re:You know who I feel sorry for? (Score:2, Funny)
Yarrr! Eh!
Re:You know who I feel sorry for? (Score:5, Funny)
Or, go back and major in maths [xkcd.com]. You get all the jokes!
Re:You know who I feel sorry for? (Score:4, Funny)
So, Global Warming = Less Polar Bears = More Seals = Less Cod = More Plankton = More Solar Conversion = Global Cooling!!!!
See? The planet is fine. It'll handle this whole global warming thing without a problem.
:D
The people living on it? Well, we're pretty much screwed.
Re:You know who I feel sorry for? (Score:4, Funny)
Nope, that's Zuul.
Re:You know who I feel sorry for? (Score:5, Funny)
You sound like you plan on being part of the 99% who fail to survive the first 6 months. Tough luck.
It will be a wonderful and renewed world afterwards.
Re:You know who I feel sorry for? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:You know who I feel sorry for? (Score:5, Funny)
It's kind of gamey... like spotted owl and bald eagle.... :-D
Re:You know who I feel sorry for? (Score:2, Funny)
Just in time for everybody to have the right to bear arms!!!111
But I'm not sure if it's only regular bears or polar bears as well.
Oh wait...
Re:1421 (Score:3, Funny)
So what you are saying is that some people don't have maps?
Yes! The reason 1492 China people can not find the US on maps, I believe, is that many 1492 China people do not have maps, such as 1492-China-people-Americans, the Iraqis, the South Africans, such as.
Re:You know who I feel sorry for? (Score:5, Funny)
What do Walruses and Tupperware have in common?
...they both like a tight seal!
sorry...last day, won't be here all week =(
Re:Why is this even being debated? (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Tell us in September (Score:5, Funny)
If it doesn't happen, will we get an apology for misleading us?
Nope. We'll get a dupe.
Re:Flamebait? Only to the humor-impaired... (Score:2, Funny)
Awesome! (Score:2, Funny)
North Pole Ice On Track To Melt By September?
A project that is on schedule! Somebody is in for a pay rise.
Oh wait, that was a question. Nevermind, I'm sure I can bring the project to schedule if I work evenings and weekends for the next three months. I'll be in my cubicle hatching evil plans if anybody needs me.
Re:You know who I feel sorry for? (Score:5, Funny)
Hey, if I'm getting wiped out, I'm taking as many other species with me as I can!
Water World? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:You know who I feel sorry for? (Score:1, Funny)
You're right. We should finish with a tasteless joke about dying animals too...
A baby seal walks into a club...
Oh noes! (Score:1, Funny)
Even though climates worldwide have been in flux since the creation of the planet and we have developed tools in the last 100 years to measure the climate and its changed by half a percent we should all panic and believe that we are causing it and save the planet!!!
what ever will will dooooo????? :P
And YES i'm posting anonymously because I'm tired of hearing it all....
AAAND yes, the run-on was definitely intentional.
Re:Is this being caused by . . . (Score:3, Funny)
Since it's obviously man-made, and we can't wait for it to reach the 1% proof, that means that the human population is way too large.
We need to start slaughtering them right now! Kill off 99.99% of those horrible, evil humans today. The rest we can hunt down and kill at leisure.
Everybody, we must start today! Grab your uzi and start saving the planet immediately!
A flaw in the argument. (Score:2, Funny)
If a car is coming towards you at 100 miles an hour and at 50ft away a phycisist says "There's a very good chance that car isn't going to stop in time, maybe you should move out of the way" do you tell him you want to be 100% sure before you move?
Actually, I would do nothing. Not by choice, but because I wouldn't have time. If the car were traveling at 100mph, that translates to approximately 147 feet per second. Ergo, if the car were 50 feet away when the physicist began to warn me, I would be dead before he finished uttering "There's a..." So if we go by your analogy, we've been warned far too late and we're going to die anyway. Unless of course the physicist is wrong. I'm also curious as to why he's saying "Maybe you should move out of the way" rather than "LOOK OUT!!!" Typical physicists...
Re:1421 (Score:3, Funny)
And did you do all this research at work, on company time?
And did you respond to my posting at work, on company time?
Re:You know who I feel sorry for? (Score:3, Funny)
Jeez, this is the most asinine thread I've ever read.
You must be new here...