Gates' Last Day At Microsoft 467
mrogers writes "Today is Bill Gates' last day as a full-time employee of Microsoft. After 33 years at the company, the one-time richest man in the world will be retiring at 52 to spend more time guiding the charitable Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. What would you buy him as a retirement gift?"
Ooh! Oooh! I know! (Score:5, Funny)
A shiny, new laptop loaded with Vista, of course. He's earned it!
Obligatory: A Gold Watch ... (Score:3, Funny)
A Mac (Score:5, Funny)
(I mean, judging from Microsoft's product lines for the last twenty years, it's what he really wants...)
Last day, huh? (Score:5, Funny)
640kb!!!! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:640kb!!!! (Score:5, Funny)
That should be all he'll ever need.
Oh wait, You don't mind me karma-whoring off you, do you?
Perfect present (Score:5, Funny)
I got him a charitable donation (Score:5, Funny)
Oh ohh! (Score:1, Funny)
Bill Gates will ow demand that ALL charities use MS software or they will NOT get any financial aid from the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. AND, you will give him ALL of your charity needs and requests or HE WILL give you less money if you go to other charities.
Now, the Steve Jobs Charity will give you exactly what you need and desire and in a sleek looking package. BUT, you have to wear a black turtle neck when applying.
the #1 portable media player on the planet.. (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Last day, huh? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:So... (Score:5, Funny)
But it's so much fun to watch him run Microsoft into the ground. Don't take that away!
A nickel... (Score:4, Funny)
...so he can get himself a better computer. [tomayko.com]
Re:I got him a charitable donation (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Ooh! Oooh! I know! (Score:4, Funny)
Gift Card (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Obligatory: A Gold Watch ... (Score:5, Funny)
"... that runs Windows ..." ... ME. Enjoy your watch, Bill!
Upgrade the pain! Make it run Vista... All the gore of WinME with the added pain of UAC!
"You are trying to check the time, Allow or Deny?"
Of course, you'd need to upgrade the graphics card and memory in the watch. Oh, let's not forget more storage space. And it'll probably need a faster processor. ... Maybe a sundial is easier...
The *real* question is... (Score:5, Funny)
Leaving party (Score:3, Funny)
Re:I would get him. . . (Score:5, Funny)
Re:640kb!!!! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:the #1 portable media player on the planet.. (Score:5, Funny)
Odd, looking at the brown Zune I could have sworn it was a number two.
Re:Ooh! Oooh! I know! (Score:2, Funny)
Gates lovefest (Score:2, Funny)
Reading through the comments so far, it seems like /. is the middle of a lovefest for their one-time enemy, Bill Gatus of Borg. Come on, where are the FOSS zealots who will scream and yell and rave about what an evil person he is? Someone restore my faith in geekdom!
Re:What about... (Score:5, Funny)
Better yet: a 30 foot tall armour plated robot penguin that launches high explosive packed herrings while shrieking "DON'T FEAR ME!!!!" through a 10,000 watt speaker system, programmed to seek and destroy.
Seems fair...
Windoze ME (Score:1, Funny)
Reading top comments... (Score:3, Funny)
I blatantly do not have any awe or gratitude to that person expressed in top comments.
My work is entirely related to computers and without PC it would be more productive, because I would not spend so much time socializing, playing games, watching news, playing with novelties, feeling up needless forms and documents.
Restriction is good, freedom is bad. At least for me.
Re:The *real* question is... (Score:3, Funny)
In other news, a printer was found in an empty field. The printer was severely damaged and was broken into many small pieces. No witnesses have come forward to provide clues to the incident.
Re:Retirement Gift (Score:5, Funny)
Without that low cost of hardware Linux would not have taken off, and its extremely unlikely that as many people would have computers, internet access and slashdot accounts with which to slag off Microsoft.
So I would have had a 4-digit UID? Damn it Bill Gates!
Slightly off-topic but somewhat related (Score:3, Funny)
In the BBC documentary How a Geek Changed the World, did anyone see the part where Gates leaped over a chair from a standing start? That must have been a very useful skill when working alongside Ballmer!
(I've been unable to find the clip online so I can't post a link.)
Re:Perfect present (Score:5, Funny)
But no trolling, please.
What's the point if you can't troll?
Shitcock!
retirement gift (Score:2, Funny)
A 5 pound brick of C4.
Re:Gates lovefest (Score:2, Funny)
Or something like that.
Good-bye Gates! (Score:1, Funny)
Microsoft's days are numbered. Gates is getting out while he still can.
Parting gift? (Score:2, Funny)
> "What would you buy him as a retirement gift?"
That's easy: "Open Source for Dummies"
Moviemaker! (Score:1, Funny)
I would get him Movie Maker..... now if I could only figure out where to download it from.
OT (Score:1, Funny)
if japan made sex robots they would look like a 20-hosed shop vac and would rape you as soon as you walked into the room
A nice T-Shirt (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Ooh! Oooh! I know! (Score:1, Funny)
As a stock owner I'd also like to say thanks. :)
Re:just for the record... (Score:3, Funny)
Bill_Gates (1523) is hated by no one
That settles it, he isn't the real one!
Re:So... (Score:1, Funny)
How the hell did you get modded interesting? You cite no proof. No links. No sources. Nothing. Just your own damned worthless opinion. If I had mod points, your post would burn in hell.
Re:So... (Score:5, Funny)
So Bill Gates has been held hostage at chair point.
No more time share (Score:3, Funny)
I think he at least deserves an unlimited login session on a PDP-10.
Re:Ooh! Oooh! I know! (Score:5, Funny)
If you had just bought 36200 shares of MSFT stock back then for $999,844 plus a $362 commission, it would now be worth ONE MILLION DOLLARS today.
Re:OT (Score:1, Funny)
It's only rape if you're unwilling ;)
Re:So... (Score:5, Funny)
Things became so bitter that, on one occasion, Gates stormed out of a meeting in a huff after a shouting match in which Mr. Ballmer jumped to the defense of several colleagues, according to an individual present at the time. After the exchange, Mr. Ballmer seemed "remorseful," the person said.
Really makes you think - what happens behind the closed doors?
Ballmer: We will create a monopoly. The next version of Windows will not run any non-Microsoft software! Muwahahaha!
Gates: But that is wrong! That destroys the market!
Ballmer: What did you say to me boy!?
Gates: B-B-But that'll lower the quality of our product. W-W-We need to take care of our customers!
Ballmer: *narrows eyes* You've been reading Slashdot, haven't you boy?
Gates: N-No!
Ballmer: Don't make me use the chair on you...Have you forgotten all I've taught you?
GateS:N-No!
Ballmer: Then tell me, what matters?!
Gates: Developers?
Ballmer: Indeed. Now run along now. And if I hear any of this nonsense again, I bring out the chair.
~Jarik
Re:Ooh! Oooh! I know! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Obligatory: A Gold Watch ... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:So... (Score:4, Funny)
[...]
If anything saves Microsoft - aside from its stockpiles of cash - it will be Bill's advice imparted on his one-day-a-week-on-Microsoft-business.
I am certainly not enamored with Gates by any means, but I do recognize that (in my view) he was the brains behind the outfit: [...]
Yes, Gates was the brain behind the outfit. But the real Father of Microsoft will remain hidden in an obscure paper file at IBM: " Nah, Dr-dos costs too much, the guy wants 50 bucks per copy. Let's give the contract to the boy with the funny glasses."