Knights Templar Sue the Pope 675
pdragon04 writes "According to The Register, "the Knights Templar are demanding that the Vatican give them back their good name and, possibly, billions in assets into the bargain, 700 years after the order was brutally suppressed by a joint venture between the Pope and the King of France..."." I wonder what a holy grail goes for with 700 years of compound interest.
statute of limitations? (Score:5, Funny)
I'm thinking that 700 years might be a bit past the statute of limitations...
Re:statute of limitations? (Score:5, Funny)
I'm thinking that 700 years might be a bit past the statute of limitations...
NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!
DNS hack! (Score:5, Funny)
I think the traffic to the register is being redirected to the onion!
Re:No legal standing to sue (Score:5, Funny)
If that succeeds, I'm going to rename myself "satan" and then sue the Vatican to get them to give me back my good name.
Re:No legal standing to sue (Score:5, Funny)
Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to settle.
WTF? (Score:2, Funny)
What about the native americans? (Score:5, Funny)
Or, maybe they could just sue the USA for making them look silly - I mean, those native headdresses don't look silly to people who are native - just everyone else.
I propose a deal. (Score:5, Funny)
They go back and *actually* liberate the Holy Land, and *then* the Pope has to pay them all the golden doubloons in Christendom.
10% bonus doubloons for finding the True Cross. On second thoughts, 10% bonus for each True Cross found.
Heck, I'll even chip in a squadron of Turcopoles and some Genoese arbalesters.
Re:No legal standing to sue (Score:1, Funny)
You chose...poorly.
=Smidge=
Its all a coverup! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Yes the Vatican Is So Pure & Holy (Score:5, Funny)
They have chosen...wisely. (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Yes the Vatican Is So Pure & Holy (Score:5, Funny)
(see sig)
Re:No legal standing to sue (Score:5, Funny)
Re:No legal standing to sue (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Yes the Vatican Is So Pure & Holy (Score:3, Funny)
Onion?... (Score:3, Funny)
If the Holy See doesn't comply. (Score:3, Funny)
If the Holy See doesn't comply, the warrior knights, renowned for liberating the Holy Land, will deploy that most fearsome of weapons: the Holy Hand Grenade offe Antioch.
May the best Godwin!
Re:No legal standing to sue (Score:4, Funny)
"Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to settle."
All I can say, is ... (Score:4, Funny)
Ni!
Re:What about the native americans? (Score:5, Funny)
The English deported their religious fanatics to America and their criminals to Australia. I think we, the Americans, got the short end of the stick on that one. I want to sue the English government for dumping their religious nut jobs here. I'm going to admit videos of the 700 club as evidence of this maleficence.
Re:How many Knights Templar? (Score:3, Funny)
Ever since Indy has found the holy grail, the guy has nothing better to do.
Re:Yes the Vatican Is So Pure & Holy (Score:5, Funny)
[...]still standing by for Christianity-bashing and something about open source.
YEAH, how come Jesus didn't post the sermon on the mount for all of us to modify and improve upon instead of dictating it like Microsoft would do?
I'm a living Neanderthal (Score:5, Funny)
...and I want to sue the whole of Europe for damages.
Re:What about the native americans? (Score:4, Funny)
If you cant prove you are 50% or greater american indian I think you have no case. Only american indians would be able to sue for the illegal dumping.
Holy shit, if the remaining american indians get wind of this we are all screwed.
Rightful heir of the Knights Templar (Score:5, Funny)
How about Sir Roger Moore? He's a Knight, and is famous for playing Simon Templar.
Congratulations! (Score:5, Funny)
Congratulations! You have discovered the secret of Instant +5 Insightful here in our happy community:
"Blah blah [vapid knee-jerk complaining about vapid knee-jerk complaining and slashdot groupthink] blah blah," followed by a suggestion of patenting it.
Re:No legal standing to sue (Score:3, Funny)
How amateurish! The descendants of those who left came back and took the land from the descendants of those who remained.
I can troll better than you.
Re:No legal standing to sue (Score:3, Funny)
Re:What about the native americans? (Score:5, Funny)
I think we, the Americans, got the short end of the stick on that one.
I'm not so sure about that. I suspect religion was merely a cover for those secretly desiring improved dental hygiene.
I want to sue the English government for dumping their religious nut jobs here. I'm going to admit videos of the 700 club as evidence of this maleficence.
Quakers != Baptists. Different breed of nut job.
Re:Yes the Vatican Is So Pure & Holy (Score:4, Funny)
dont blame just the christians, they simply have a head start on everyone else.
Oh no you don't! We Jews were here long before those Christians! Err wait, we've already had enough blame laid on us over the years, forget I said that.
Re:Yes the Vatican Is So Pure & Holy (Score:1, Funny)
How about you refrain from out-retarding your parent poster by using the teenybopper word "Xtian"?
Re:Silly (Score:5, Funny)
Let's go further than that! Join the Gondwanaland Reunification Movement!
Re:Yes the Vatican Is So Pure & Holy (Score:5, Funny)
YEAH, how come Jesus didn't post the sermon on the mount for all of us to modify and improve upon instead of dictating it like Microsoft would do?
It's pretty obvious that the original source code has been lost, and the current source is a combination of ignorant reverse engineering, clumsy hacks, and viruses.
Re:No legal standing to sue (Score:5, Funny)
Satan [wikipedia.org] plays for the Penguins.
Re:What about the native americans? (Score:5, Funny)
This is slashdot. No one was upset with the historical inaccuracy, nor the insulting of americans. The troll moderation was for the insinuation that community colleges were for idiots who don't know history.
Re:statute of limitations? (Score:2, Funny)
In France it does. It is 30 years.
Or the death of the victim, whichever comes first.
Makes for a much less bloated legal system.
- RG>
Re:Yes the Vatican Is So Pure & Holy (Score:3, Funny)
The funny thing is, the whole debate has been going on for centuries, and causing fractures in the church between those factions who believed that Jesus was poor, and so the church should be, and those who believed that having lots of money is really great.
You don't understand. Money is evil, therefore the catholic church tries to make sure they have all of it, so regular people won't have to suffer from it.
Re:Yes the Vatican Is So Pure & Holy (Score:5, Funny)
The middle one is Luke 12:33.
Would that be AM or PM ?
Everybody knows Freemasons (Score:5, Funny)
are the true Knights Templar, and that we have hidden the treasures of the world beneath a highly recognizable public building (no, not that one).
Claims about us secretly directing the destiny of nations and peoples are greatly exaggerated, though. I've been in fifteen years and still only get to oversee Botswana.
Re:If they can liberate Jerusalem (Score:3, Funny)
And if they can actually bring peace to that region, they deserve all the billions they can get.
Re:No legal standing to sue (Score:5, Funny)
You'll just be censored as "Hercule" then.
Re:What about the native americans? (Score:1, Funny)
That explains a lot about Atlanta.
Especially why when I go through the airport there, I feel like I'm being punished.
Re:Yes the Vatican Is So Pure & Holy (Score:5, Funny)
Great. Before we had spelling Nazis and Grammar Nazis, now it's Bible Nazis.
Is nothing sacred?
Re:No legal standing to sue (Score:1, Funny)
Re:No legal standing to sue (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Yes the Vatican Is So Pure & Holy (Score:5, Funny)
Great. Before we had spelling Nazis and Grammar Nazis, now it's Bible Nazis.
Is nothing sacred?
Off hand, I'd say spelling, grammar, and The Bible.
Re:What about the native americans? (Score:5, Funny)
>The troll moderation was for the insinuation that community colleges were for idiots who don't know history.
Right. Everyone knows that the idiots aren't going to learn any history in a community college. :-)
Re:What about the native americans? (Score:5, Funny)
Georgia also declared independence on January 19, 1861 [wikipedia.org], but that one didn't work out quite so well.
Re:What about the native americans? (Score:5, Funny)
Well said - they'd be teaching it!
Re:What about the native americans? (Score:4, Funny)
Psj... Europe was present more than 500 years before Jamestown!
Best Regards,
The Norsemen!
Re:No legal standing to sue (Score:2, Funny)
I hope you're not expecting sympathy...
If they win all that cash... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:What about the native americans? (Score:2, Funny)
Ninety percent of them stayed in Maryland and Virginia.
That explains a lot...
Re:Yes the Vatican Is So Pure & Holy (Score:5, Funny)
Three things: Spelling, grammar, The Bible, and Monty Python quotes.
I'll come in again.
Re:No legal standing to sue (Score:2, Funny)
Re:No legal standing to sue (Score:5, Funny)
In more ways than one [wikipedia.org].
Re:Body Snatchers (Score:3, Funny)
Will you people stop with the misconceptions? Tinfoil hats protect you from CIA/Alien mind control.
The thing that protects [me, anyway] from physical harm at the hands of violent fanatics is the four solid walls, concrete floor, and hardwood ceiling of my mother's basement.
Re:Everybody knows Freemasons (Score:5, Funny)
Who controls the British Crown?
Who keeps the Metric System down?
We do! We do!
Who leaves Altantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We do! We do!
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?
We do! We do!
Who robs cave fish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
We do! We do!
Re:What about the native americans? (Score:5, Funny)
After 1718, approximately 60,000 convicts, dubbed "the King's passengers," were sent from England to America. Ninety percent of them stayed in Maryland and Virginia.
Of course, descendants of those people still live in Maryland and Virginia, but instead of being called "The King's Passengers", they're now known as "The US Government".
Re:What about the native americans? (Score:5, Funny)
most of the posters in this are chimps with no education and no spine
Re:What about the native americans? (Score:4, Funny)
I'm just gonna go ahead and end this thread by calling you a nazi.
Cheers.
Re:What about the native americans? (Score:4, Funny)
I, insensitive clod that I am, humbly stand corrected.
May I respectfully add that your complete inabilty to recognise an obvious (though I confess, throwaway and rather cheap) joke could be likened to the finest, first pressing (cold, for mercy's sake) olive oil; and that it harmonises with the purest wine vinegar of your interesting (it would be unique if not for William Shatner) punctuation style to form the salad dressing that is the perfect tribute to the dear departed.