Terror Watchlist "Crippled By Technical Flaws" 324
I Don't Believe in Imaginary Property writes "The database used by the government to generate lists like the No-Fly List is 'crippled by technical flaws,' according to the chairman of a House technology oversight subcommittee. And the upgrade may be worse than the original. Rep. Brad Miller (D-NC) says that 'if actually deployed, [the upgrade] will leave our country more vulnerable than the existing yet flawed system in operation today.' It seems that the current database doesn't have any easy way to do plain-text matching, forcing users to enter SQL queries. That might not sound so bad until you learn that the database contains 463 poorly indexed tables. How long until there's a terrorist named Robert'); DROP DATABASE; —?"
Robert'); DROP DATABASE; â" (Score:2, Funny)
xkcd. [xkcd.com] Always relevant.
It'll all work itself out ... (Score:5, Funny)
The amount of people they want to include on their "t3rr0rz l1zt" it'll only be a matter of time before we have
Osama Bin CREATE INDEX;
and
Saddam OPTIMIZE TABLE;
Then everything will be hunk dory again.
Comment removed (Score:5, Funny)
Re:the first person (Score:4, Funny)
Are you sure thats possible, I thought Microsoft Access Databases were invulnerable?
Re:is this "obvious news day" again? (Score:5, Funny)
Because theres' nothing a non-USian can learn in such a "story", except that US-ians are teh morons.
Hold on, that's not true! In this story, we learn that the terrorist watch list is not only a bad idea, but it is poorly implemented!
Re:Robert'); DROP DATABASE; â" (Score:5, Funny)
I think you mean Little Ahmed Tables.
Re:the first person (Score:2, Funny)
invulnerable and inaccessible go hand in hand yes.
Re:That's what happens when.... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:is this "obvious news day" again? (Score:2, Funny)
Because theres' nothing a non-USian can learn in such a "story", except that US-ians are teh morons.
Hold on, that's not true! In this story, we learn that the terrorist watch list is not only a bad idea, but it is poorly implemented!
I think he may have been trying to indicate that we already knew that. Even more so, that pretty much everyone in the world already knew that.
Re:It's _not_ crippled by technical flaws. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:That's what happens when.... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:It's _not_ crippled by technical flaws. (Score:5, Funny)
But hey, it's not that bad! After all, since all terrorists use their real names when flying, it is sure to catch them all.
Ever wonder why no suicide bomber has been able to strike twice? It's because of the no-fly-list, I tell you!
Re:It'll all work itself out ... (Score:5, Funny)
Actually, I think the SQL 2012 standard only supports the short form, "SADDAMIZE TABLE".
Re:is this "obvious news day" again? (Score:5, Funny)
I just put you on the list.
Re:It's _not_ crippled by technical flaws. (Score:5, Funny)
Apparently Nelson Mandela was on the list, until the fact was embarrasingly publicized and he was finally removed.
So, easy solution - if you don't want to be bothered by the no fly list then change your name to Nelson Mandela...
Are these names on the list... (Score:5, Funny)
http://video.aol.com/video-detail/snl-funny-terrorist-names/4040669571 [aol.com]
"M'balz es-Hari"
"Haid D'Salaami"
"Mustaf Herod Apyur Poupr"
"Usuqa M'diq"
"Hous bin Phartin"
"I'zheet m'drawrz"
Re:It'll all work itself out ... (Score:5, Funny)
Saddam OPTIMIZE TABLE
Actually, I think the SQL 2012 standard only supports the short form, "SADDAMIZE TABLE".
Not to be confused with the more penetrative command SOD... nevermind.
Re:Robert'); DROP DATABASE; (Score:5, Funny)
I wonder if I'm the only SQL noob who had to look up the "drop database" command to see that indeed it is valid?
Why look it up when you can test it out for yourself?
Re:It's _not_ crippled by technical flaws. (Score:3, Funny)
So do you wear diapers on transatlantic flights too? You know, in case of accidents.
Re:Why Would You Expect Otherwise? (Score:5, Funny)
Really. So, all private industry is automatically good, or would you care to qualify that statement? The free market has failure modes, you know. Perhaps you've heard of natural monopoly, imbalance of information, and externalities?
Hear that noise? It's the sound of thousands of libertarians plugging their ears and yelling "LA LA LA" as loud as they can.
Re:Robert'); DROP DATABASE; â" (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Why Would You Expect Otherwise? (Score:3, Funny)
No need to go that far. Two Marine Staff Sargent's would keep everyone in their place. Maybe three or four for the larger planes.
'Maggot! Sit down and shut up! Now!'
Re:is this "obvious news day" again? (Score:3, Funny)
So I'm guessing their Access database just looks like this:
ID | First | Last
I guess they just took KISS way too far.
Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:is this "obvious news day" again? (Score:3, Funny)
I'm sure he'll not be missed.
Re:is this "obvious news day" again? (Score:5, Funny)
Just wanted to point out that having a felony conviction doesn't necessarily mean somebody is an evil person.
... nah, it just means that they didn't have a very good lawyer.
Re:is this "obvious news day" again? (Score:3, Funny)
They also thought there was a comma and that it was hiring advice: "Keep it simple, stupid".
Re:Robert'); DROP DATABASE; â" (Score:3, Funny)
Silence!
I kill you!
Re:Why Would You Expect Otherwise? (Score:5, Funny)
This airline is sounding better and better. Kill switches to blow it up in midair, marines to put passengers in their place. I can see someone running with this idea and making a fortune, and to think we were part of the thread that first hatched the idea.
My addition to this would be that to ensure the safety of people on the ground the planes in this hypothetical airline shouldn't be allowed to actually take off, but should instead hug the ground throughout the flight, perhaps on some sort of stabilizing rail, or a magnetic hover track. We might even build a system for running these planes across North America.
Re:is this "obvious news day" again? (Score:2, Funny)
I just put you on the list.
Yea, but did you add his name to all 463 tables?
Re:That's what happens when.... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Why Would You Expect Otherwise? (Score:3, Funny)
Well, duh. The sky is blue, and when you're flying, you're closer to the sky. yellow + blue = orange.
[For you armchair optical physicists: I'm talking about color mixing at high altitude. Your classroom yellow + blue = brown doesn't work up there, because of sunspots.]