WV Voters Say Machines Are Switching Votes 900
An anonymous reader writes "Three Putnam County voters say electronic voting machines changed their votes from Democrats to Republicans when they cast early ballots last week.
This is the second West Virginia county where voters have reported this problem. Last week, three voters in Jackson County told The Charleston Gazette their electronic vote for 'Barack Obama' kept flipping to 'John McCain.'"
Spam inc. (Score:2, Funny)
*Casts Vote*
"Are you sure?"
*Yes*
"Are you positive?"
*Yes*
"Have you researched your options?"
*...
I don't understand the problem. (Score:5, Funny)
What's wrong with a machine that tries to assist the politically challenged by selecting the right candidate?
Letter from Diebold CEO (Score:5, Funny)
President and CEO of Diebold
1600 Styx River Rd
Hades, New Jersey 66666
October 27, 2008
Dear Voters,
I regret to inform you that the evil bit [wikipedia.org] of the IPv4 packet header field was accidentally propagated to the display screen and--subsequently--would ensure that in the last femtosecond your vote was for evil as you were accepting your selection.
Who would have thought that Americans could see this near-planckian event on the screen
Regardless, we are sorry and promise that I will personally collect and publish information on these three voters although I heavily doubt that 3 votes will change the outcome of John McCain 100% Barak Obama 0% which is what the current count is at.
This may be merely be something we have to live with for now and is trivial. We will fix this when IPv6 is enforced and it is an entire "evil byte" in the packet header that will be much easier to spot and stop. This should not undermine your satisfaction with the democratic process in America--do not let the terrorists win! You must remain ever vigilant and patriotic!
Sincerely,
Thomas W. Swidarski
Re:Spam inc. (Score:3, Funny)
No, no, that's the Microsoft Vista approach to voting....
Better person to change the vote to. (Score:5, Funny)
Vote redistribution is all about fairness (Score:5, Funny)
I think Obama understands that a level playing field is about the common good and John McCain really needs a leg up. And Sen McCain should not feel ashamed because this is not charity.
This is an early example of new hope.
Re:I don't understand the problem. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Parallax, touch screens, stupidity, and conspir (Score:5, Funny)
Unfortunately, there's no way to prove that someone intending to vote for Republicans has had their vote switched, because no-one's voted for Republicans.
(Lighten up, it's a joke)
50 million can't use a computer? Ain't it funny!! (Score:3, Funny)
I'd like to see Barack Obama ridiculing these 50 million voters' computer (il)literacy, the way he ridiculed John McCain [aol.com]. Wouldn't that be sure vote-winner, uhm?
Re:Better person to change the vote to. (Score:3, Funny)
They need to change their votes to Cthulhu if they want to live.
I thought advancing Cthulhu's awakening gave you the privilege of being one of the first to be eaten, thereby avoiding the sight of mind-breaking eldritch horrors and such.
Re:More Cases Than Just This (Score:5, Funny)
Actually, Obama is the "left" candidate, and McCain is the "right" candidate.
I can understand how this might be confusing, but just remember it this way: your left hand is the one that when you hold it up, the index finger and thumb make an "L". Also, it wants to take all your money and give it to the poor. The right hand is the one that makes a backwards "L", and wants to take all your money and give it to the rich.
Hope this clears things up for you.
Re:Spam inc. (Score:5, Funny)
yes a little caricature called Voty pops up and says,"I see you are attempting to vote for Barak Obama, would you like me to help you? Press yes for me to help you change your mind, or press no to vote for John McCain." Bounce Bounce ... Bounce Bounce
Vote Change (Score:2, Funny)
So that is the kind of "Change" the McCain camp was referring to. It is becoming very clear now.
Re:Parallax, touch screens, stupidity, and conspir (Score:5, Funny)
sometimes paper and pencil should not be automated
As a long time RPGer, I couldn't agree with you more.
Re:Clarification (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Parallax, touch screens, stupidity, and conspir (Score:3, Funny)
In other news, resource management isn't a programming issue, because you don't know who is going to try and run the program on a system you didn't intend it for.
Re:Dirty Tricks (Score:3, Funny)
Yes.
Re:Clarification (Score:5, Funny)
Nobody wants to look stupid
I passed a guy this morning with a Bush/Quayle '92 bumper sticker who begs to differ.
Re:I don't understand the problem. (Score:2, Funny)
Re:50 million can't use a computer? Ain't it funny (Score:2, Funny)
I've sent e-mails without ever touching a keyboard - Vista Voice makes that pretty easy to do.
I don't want to be around when the executive order reading "Dear aunt, letâ(TM)s set so double the killer delete select all" causes an international incident.
McCain campaign to win without votes (Score:2, Funny)
MAN ON FIVE, Cook County, Monday (NNN) — The McCain campaign is looking at an Electoral College strategy [today.com] heading into the final two weeks that has virtually no room for error.
"Democrat voting fraud is famous since Tammany Hall," says Republican strategist Karl Rove. "So we'll win without votes."
Voting machines have been remotely reset and the counts adjusted. "Diebold have come to the party big time." Touch screen machines for West Virginia early voting offer voters "McCAIN" or "REPLY HAZY, TRY AGAIN LATER."
The rolls will be thoroughly checked for voter fraud. "If the typeface or font size is different on their driver's licence, Social Security or the voter roll, that's obvious blatant fraud. A typical Liberal knife to the heart of democracy."
The party will check for dead voters as well. "We're making the safe assumption that all registered Democrats are dead. If they're not, we'll correct that." Governor Palin has long dealt with Democrat moose in Alaska. "You betcha!"
All residents of properties whose mortgages were underwritten by Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac will be assumed to have voted Republican. "We own the houses, of course we own the votes. It's nonsense to say otherwise."
Finally, under USA-PATRIOT, Obama supporters will be deemed associates of associates of terrorists. The offence will carry a penalty of one day's imprisonment: November 4th.
Mr Rove is confident in the future of our democracy. "One man, one vote. That man being me."
Re:Clarification (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Clarification (Score:2, Funny)
On the way to work, I pass a couple of dozen houses with "McCain/Palin" signs out front whose owners would apparently also like to chime in.
Re:50 million can't use a computer? Ain't it funny (Score:2, Funny)
buy the whole company company
I think you wanted the first "company" to be "fucking"
Re:50 million can't use a computer? Ain't it funny (Score:3, Funny)
Ob troll (Score:5, Funny)
(actually, one can't type at all), but they still read and write emails: they use voice recognition software.
From the article, it sounds like McCain has found a similar solution, he's just using voice recognition wetware.
Yeah, but can Dragon Dictate® show you naked breasts ? No ?
Thus the wife® solution is clearly superior.